17. Jade

17

JADE

I run away from Zeleck's hut, my vision blurred by tears, and my heart shattered into a million pieces. His words echo in my mind, each one a sharp, painful reminder of the rejection I never saw coming.

I'm not hungry and want to be alone while I lick my wounds, so I head to the North Caves to hide while everyone else enjoys the evening meal.

As expected, the Terran's sleeping cave is deserted, the soft glow of the Rakuium-powered lighting casting eerie shadows on the rocky walls. I grab a soft cloth and use the washing water to wipe away my tears. The cool water is a small comfort, but it does little to ease the ache in my chest.

Once I'm done, I gather my bedroll and make my way to the weapons cave. I need to be alone, to process the events of the day—the startling revelations about Earth and the crushing pain of Zeleck's rejection.

Curling up on the bedroll, I let my tears flow once more. I ugly cry, my body shaking with the force of my sobs.

I cry for the love I thought I had found, for the future and family I had allowed myself to imagine with Zeleck. I cry for the cruel twist of fate that brought me to this planet, only to leave me alone and unloved, with no hope of ever returning home.

Eventually, I'm cried out and exhaustion takes over. I drift off into a fitful sleep, my dreams haunted by the incredible memories of pleasure-sharing with Zeleck…and the horrifying ones of the painful look on his face when he thought he was my second choice.

Zeleck

I wallow in my hut, trying to sleep. Instead, I punish myself with thoughts of what might have been. The familiar surroundings offer little comfort; the softness of the furs beneath me a stark contrast to the hardness in my heart.

Picking up the pouch of Rakuium, I turn it over in my hands, the weight of what it represents a burden seemingly too heavy to carry.

Jay-duh refused to keep the pouch, just like she refused to keep me.

Deep down, I know that Jay-duh and I would have been happy together. We had a connection, a bond that went beyond the physical pleasure we shared, a bond that would have lasted forevermore.

If only she had given us a chance.

Lost in my thoughts, with the pouch of Rakuium clutched in my hand, I replay every moment we shared. Every touch, every smile, every small celebration when another piece of the precious stone was uncovered.

I will always remember how she smells, how she tastes, how she feels nestled against me when she sleeps.

What should I do with the Rakuium? Keeping it is not an option. It would be a constant reminder of what I almost had, of the future I dared to imagine.

A part of me wants to destroy it, to crush the stones into dust and scatter them to the winds. Perhaps then I could find some semblance of peace, some way to move on from the pain that consumes me.

I open the pouch, reaching inside and retrieving our stone, the one from the bed of the stream. It is the first piece we found, and the largest.

Despite the ache in my heart, I smile as I remember Jay-duh's excitement at my find. The way she threw her arms around my neck, how we tumbled to the ground, the way her lips felt against mine as we shared kiss- zing for the first time.

I place the stone in my palm and close my fist tightly around it, the sharp edges digging into my flesh as I close my eyes and ask the gods for guidance on how to go on after losing another potential mate.

Sensing when the Rakuium begins to glow, I open my eyes, allowing the warm, healing energy of the stone to fill my hut. Two series of images flash through my mind, each accompanied by a distinct wave of emotion.

The first series is joyful, with images of love, laughter, and family. A long, happy life with my mate by my side.

The second is sad, with images of a future filled with regret. I see myself alone, the dragging weight of my grief and anger turning me into a shadow of the warrior I once was.

As the images fade, I realize I am being presented with a choice. A choice between a future of pleasure and fulfillment…and one of isolation and sorrow.

And in that moment, I know exactly which choice to make.