Chapter 17

LEONA

I awake on the floor, and for a moment I'm confused. What the hell am I doing down here? The alarm on my bedside table is beeping, and I call out a verbal command to shut it off. I yawn hugely and then wince as I feel soreness between my thighs.

Memories crash over me, and I turn on my side, expecting to find Zahhn asleep next to me, but he's not there. I place a hand on the covers and frown. Still feels warm. And his scent lingers in the air. His discarded underwear is on the floor nearby too.

Maybe he stepped out for a while. Or maybe he went to contact his people. I suppose he'll have to inform them as soon as possible that we've mated.

I sit up and wince again. It's not just my pussy that's sore, but all the muscles in my body as well. I swallow hard. Yep, my throat still hurts too. We shared a few gentle moments last night during our coupling, but for the most part Zahhn was rough and demanding. Especially when he claimed me the second time while I was bent over the bed. I flush in remembrance.

Tossing back the covers, I peer down at the dried blue seed that's covering my thighs. It's all over the sheets as well. I sigh and peer toward the doorway, wondering if I should start getting ready for my shift in the mess hall.

But seriously… what happens now? Will Zahhn take me back to whatever ship in the Darrvason fleet he calls home? Or will he stay on the Jansonna with me?

Mated. I can scarcely believe I'm mated to the huge alien doctor.

My breathing increases and panic swirls in my head. I tuck my knees up and place my head between them, trying to quell the sudden attack of anxiety. What will the leaders of the worldship say? How will my friends and coworkers react? What about my father?

Leona's Speakeasy. Guilt flows through me as I consider the true ramifications of what I've done.

What will happen to my bar? I despair over the thought of abandoning it or allowing someone else to take over. Managing the speakeasy has brought me joy and kept me sane during the last fifteen years.

Yes, I founded the illicit meeting place when I was only twenty years old. It started in a small storage room on Deck Nine, only to move to a larger abandoned storage room on Deck Twenty about five years ago. When I think about all the hard work I put into the place, I find myself hoping Zahhn will somehow end up staying on the Jansonna . Maybe I could convince him to work in the worldship's medical bay.

But doubts keep plaguing me—this entire situation is complicated—and my worry deepens. Mating with Zahhn was unexpected. I'm still not certain how he ended up on the Jansonna and found his way to my bedroom.

I remain on the floor for a few more minutes, trying to decide how to proceed with my day. I'm a bit miffed that Zahhn departed my bedroom without waking me to say goodbye. It sure would be nice to know his whereabouts.

Finally, I decide to shower and get dressed. Maybe I'll encounter my new mate as I'm headed through the corridors on my way to the mess hall.

Once I'm ready, I slip out of my bedroom and shut the door quietly, just in case my father's still sleeping. He keeps odd hours for a variety of reasons, and sometimes he'll sleep during the day.

The sound of a throat being cleared in the living room causes me to freeze in my steps. I peer to the left and discover my father seated on the couch, his face pale, his eyes brimming with fear.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Leona," he whispers. "What the fuck have you done?"

I stare at him dumbly for about thirty seconds. But of course. Zahhn and I weren't exactly quiet last night. I flush as I recall how often he growled, not to mention how frequently I whimpered and moaned. Caught up in the moment, I hadn't stopped to consider that anyone might overhear us.

"Good morning, Dad," I finally say. I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him, annoyed that "Jesus fucking Christ, Leona. What the fuck have you done?" is the most he's said to me in over two months. I fight back a wave of hurt.

"I cannot believe you fornicated with one of those Darrvason engineers. For fuck's sake, have you lost your mind? Darrvasons mate for life, you stupid girl! For life!" His face reddens and he stands up and starts pacing the living room.

"How do you know it was a Darrvason? Did you see him leave?" I swallow hard and wonder if he had an encounter with Zahhn this morning. Oh dear. Even though I'm pissed as hell at my father, a smile tugs at my lips as I imagine the two of them crossing paths in the hallway.

"Humans don't growl like that. The entire deck must've heard you copulating. Shit, I'm surprised morality officers haven't come knocking yet. But no, I didn't see him leave." My father appears flustered. "Isn't he still in your bedroom? I've been sitting here waiting for him to come out so I could give you idiots a piece of my mind."

"He's not in my bedroom," I say, my confusion growing. Where's Zahhn? Why do I suddenly have a very bad feeling?

"Not in your bedroom? How the hell did he get out? I would've seen him leave." My father huffs and stomps into my bedroom. I hear him cursing and cringe as I realize he likely just found the stained covers and Zahhn's underwear. Seconds later, he comes stomping back out, his face twisted with fury and confusion.

"I don't know where he went. He was gone when I awoke this morning. Maybe… maybe you drifted to sleep for a while and you missed him leaving."

The anger doesn't leave my father's visage. "Perhaps." He clenches his jaw and appears on the verge of screaming again, but when he next speaks, his voice is eerily calm. "You must keep it a secret. Do not tell anyone you mated with a Darrvason. I will take care of it. Just give me his name, and I will take care of it. You don't need to spend your life in slavery to one of those barbaric creatures."

"You'll take care of it? What the hell does that mean?" Shock courses through me. Surely he doesn't mean to kill Zahhn. My father might be involved with some rebel groups aboard the Jansonna , but I can't imagine him having the power and resources to take out one of the Darrvasons, even if he thinks the Darrvason in question is an engineer who's temporarily stationed on the worldship.

"I will worry about the details." He draws in a deep breath as though summoning patience. "Just give me his name, Leona. I will do whatever it takes to make sure your life isn't ruined."

I shake my head. "No. I'm not giving you his name."

His face twists with disgust. "You stupid girl. I've allowed you to have your little speakeasy, and I've paid off security officers to keep you from being arrested several times over the years. But I won't watch you ruin your life by becoming chained to a Darrvason."

For a moment, the room tilts. Is he telling the truth? Has he actually paid off security officers to protect me? I think about the two days I spent in the worldship's brig. Maybe if I hadn't been released, he would've tried to help me. Though I'm infuriated by his plans to commit murder on my behalf, I'm touched that he's secretly protected me over the years.

"Darrvason males are savages, and they think they have the right to over two thousand of our women just because they're offering us a little help? Fuck that. Tell me this bastard's name."

I take a step backward, then another. I shake my head. "I won't tell you his name."

"Before your mother died, I promised her I would protect you!" he shouts, and it's a low blow.

My mother died shortly after giving birth to me due to complications, and while I know she wanted children and carefully planned my conception in a fertility lab, I still harbor guilt over her death.

"I'm thirty-five years old, Dad. I know what I'm doing." Except that's a big fucking lie. I don't know what I'm doing. I still can't believe I mated with Zahhn, and I'm terrified my life is about to change drastically. If I'm forced to live on the Haxxal or another ship in the Darrvason fleet, I'll be miserable. I can't imagine not seeing my friends every day and enjoying the cheerful ambiance of my bar. It's who I am—I'm the person who brings everyone together. But what if I'm about to let my friends, coworkers, and patrons down?

My father's agitation mounts. His face reddens further and his nostrils flare. His fists clench as he ceases his nervous pacing. He stands in the middle of the living room, staring at me with a look of utter revulsion. It breaks my heart and chills me to the bone. I don't have any awful memories about my father—he kept me fed and took care of my basic needs as a child—but I don't hold any warm memories of him either. Yet he decrees the Darrvasons to be the barbarians.

"You enjoyed it," he says in an accusatory tone. He shakes his head with an air of disbelief. "At first, I thought he was forcing you and I was about to call security officers to intervene, but then I heard you moaning and having a grand time." He shudders. "Did you fail to get your last hormone suppression shot?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I'm shocked and grossed out that he sat in the living room listening. I wish I didn't know. I wish he'd never told me. It feels wrong and like an invasion of my privacy, never mind that I should've maybe stayed quieter. But during the mating session, all I could think about was pleasing Zahhn, and there were times I had little choice but to obey his commands. Like when he ordered me to suck his appendages, and when he told me to bend over the bed and spread my cheeks wide.

"Very well." My father stands taller and straightens the collar of his shirt. "Even though you won't divulge your alien lover's name, I have no doubt he'll be dead soon." His eyes flash with malice. Then he departs our shared quarters, and I'm left to ruminate over the meaning of his ominous words.

The rebels. Shit. What if he's aware of a rebel plot against the Darrvasons? I run a hand through my hair and wish Zahhn would return soon. I would feel much better if I could confide in him about the conversion I'd just had with my father.

But how would Zahhn respond? My stomach flips.

The truth is, I'm not certain. I don't know for sure that he wouldn't turn my father in to Jansonna's authorities for conspiring against the Darrvasons.

I feel torn. Though I'm angry with my father and I don't want him to cause any harm to our new alien friends, I also don't want my father to end up in the brig. There's no doubt in my mind that a threat to the alliance would result in harsh consequences to any rebel groups who participated.

But I also feel a sense of loyalty to Zahhn. My… mate .

I sigh and head for the corridor. I'm late for my shift in the mess hall, and it's probably not a good idea to make my coworkers worry, especially considering that I disappeared for two days recently.

Two weeks ago, my life wasn't complicated at all. I was happy-ish. I had the speakeasy and not a worry in the universe. Okay, maybe a few worries, but not a whole freaking list of them.

As I walk to the mess hall, my body protests every step. The area between my thighs aches terribly, and my muscles are throbbing. What I wouldn't give for a hot bath, but the water restrictions on the Jansonna would never allow that.

I start my shift and go through the motions, but I can't help but wonder about Zahhn. Where is he? Why do I miss him so much?

My arms still tingle and itch, but I can't sense his presence or his thoughts, and after the intense connection we shared last night, the absence of him disturbs me. I pray he's okay.

Zahhn. Come find me.