Four

Eveline

8 July 1815

Glancing down at my black crepe dress, I ran a gloved hand over my skirt and sighed. I wore it out of the traditional respect of losing a spouse, but our marriage was anything but traditional. While my mourning period, in truth, spanned four months from the date of Colin’s death, I was silently grateful for the two months I spent ignorant to his demise, black being my least favorite color.

Mrs. Donovan stood at the entrance of the study. She knew she could always find me in here. I spent a great deal of my married life in here making decisions about topics I never believed I would, and now more recently… about how to raise a son.

None of the courses I took in finishing school provided counsel on becoming a mother. The principle focus always prioritized becoming a wife of a prominent man of the peerage and hiring a nurse to care for the children.

Even the tomes I found in the library offered little direction.

“You have callers, Ma’am.”

I glanced up from my desk with a quizzical brow. I hadn’t had visitors for quite some time, so I didn’t hide my shock. With the onset of summertime, most of the beau monde found their way back to their country estates at the close of parliament, thus taking the few people I interacted with away.

“It’s Lord Lucas and Lady Helena.”

“Oh!” My heart leaped. I hadn’t seen them in months. They had returned to Greenbriar in April when Helena fell ill. Thankfully, Lucas followed up with a letter to share the spectacular news that her ailment resulted from being with child, and nothing more severe.

I rushed out the door, practically knocking Mrs. Donovan aside. “Forgive me.” I clasped her hands. “Would you please retrieve Mother and April and ask them to meet us in the parlor?”

One eyebrow raised. “What about Patrick?”

“Not yet. They know nothing of him. I need to break the news carefully.”

She smiled and turned for the stairs.

I resumed my rapid pace and didn’t hesitate when I entered the parlor. Lucas had barely stood to his feet before I ran to embrace him. As childhood friends, we knew a great deal more about each other than most. Helena’s rise to her feet came slower, but understandably so as I took sight of her slightly swollen belly. I warmly embraced her next. “Oh, I have missed our regular visits exceedingly. Congratulations! I’m so thrilled for you both!” Then I narrowed my eyes. “But what on earth brought you to London during your confinement?”

“I have four months before our baby arrives.” Helena kissed me on the cheek. “I am perfectly fine.”

When his beautiful wife resumed her seat, Lucas grabbed my hands. “Evie, why did you not tell us of Sir Colin’s passing?”

Taking a step back, I shrugged my shoulders. “There was a lot to comprehend at the time.”

Lucas squeezed my hands gently. “But no one should have to face such a tragedy alone. We are your friends. We would have been here for you.”

I bit my lip. “I know. Please sit down. I will call for tea.”

Lucas did not redirect his line of questioning. “How did Sir Colin pass? When was his funeral?”

I took an earnest breath and glanced at the door, grateful my family hadn’t arrived yet. “We did not have a customary wake.”

Lucas’ brow arched.

“There is much I haven’t told you. I cannot share it all in one sitting but, as you know, when I married Sir Colin, the arrangement benefitted us both.”

“Yes,” Lucas waved a hand. “I know this. He saved your family from ruin, and you gave respectability to his name and his business.”

I tucked a wayward strand of hair behind my ear and bit my bottom lip. “We did not love each other. Truth be told, he loved another. A woman in the West Indies.”

A collective gasp discharged from both Lucas and Helena simultaneously.

I continued, “At the time of our marriage, Colin knew his time on earth was short.”

Lucas choked out his next sentence. “You knew all this and still married him?”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. “Sometimes we don’t have the luxury of choice before us, Luke.” It wasn’t a sharp retort but forthright.

He frowned. “Forgive me, yes, I understand.” He said this as he glanced warily at his wife who had shared with me the predicament that she found herself in when her father tried to force her to marry a cruel man before she met Lucas.

“Does Zachary know this?”

My eyes flashed to Luke’s, but I held my tongue. Lord Zachary and I had mended our friendship before he returned to war, but I had not heard one peep from him in six months. With quick composure, I asked, “Why should he?”

Lucas inched toward the edge of his chair and clasped my hand. “Evie—”

The door flew open, and April charged in, just as eager as I had been. Our friends greeted her warmly with a similar embrace to mine. Mother followed in at a much calmer pace and smiled as Lucas bowed and Helena curtsied. Despite my mother no longer owning the title of Baroness, none of our friends stripped her of the respect associated with it.

“Baroness Ashton.” Lucas led her to a nearby chair.

Mrs. Donovan stood at the doorway. “I will get tea,” she said before disappearing. The housekeeper had so few reasons to prepare an impressive tea tray, so I did not miss the delight in her eyes.

“Luke!” April squealed in a very unladylike manner. At sixteen, she lacked the upbringing I had and, despite my mother’s attempt to teach comportment, my younger sister by six years followed in my willful footsteps. I chuckled at the thought as April bounced in her seat. “Have you heard about my nephew?”

My mouth fell open. This was not how I planned to share the news.

Lucas and Helena appeared utterly baffled, certainly knowing that I would be the only person to make April an aunt. Both sets of eyes immediately shot to my waist. I clasped my hands together and sighed. “I did not give birth to a child.”

“It certainly would have been the shortest confinement in history,” Lucas mumbled. “We only saw you four months ago.”

“Yes. So, uh,” I stood up and wrung my hands together while April watched with confusion as if this was a simple topic to speak of. I had yet to make a connection with the boy who so openly refused my attentions, and only sought comfort from his nurse, Banja. The same woman who just happened to be the dead mother’s sister; a fact that Mr. Hanover did not disclose that first day.

All eyes rested upon me weightily.

“Sir Colin and his love bore a son together. However, she passed away in November of 1813, and when Colin passed away in April of this year, Mr. Hanover, our solicitor, notified me of Colin’s final request—to raise his son in England.”

“Were you aware Sir Colin had a son?” Lucas inquired with apprehension.

I shook my head slowly. The responsibility of it all was a lot to digest. I already had two months to do so, and still couldn’t fathom the depth of it.

Mother spoke up. “Patrick is a lovely child.” She smiled warily at me but spoke the truth. He didn’t engage in tantrums, he wasn’t disobedient or naughty, but he was very shy and still didn’t speak to me. In fact, prior to Luke and Helena’s arrival, I had been in the study searching the ads for a tutor.

“How old is he?”

“. He turns five in two months.”

“Might we meet him?” Helena inquired with one hand on her stomach. Of course. A splinter of envy spread through me. She was to be a mother soon and have those moments of bonding that I may never have with Patrick.

“Yes, yes of course.”

April jumped to her feet. “I will fetch him.” Though I had not yet made a connection with the boy, April certainly had.

Silence hovered as Mrs. Donovan entered with the tea tray and I found pouring the tea a necessary distraction. After I passed a cup to each of them, I offered a plate of cucumber sandwiches in my attempt to avoid direct eye contact with Luke. I knew his thoughts all too well. He was surely eager to ask me more questions but might’ve refrained knowing my inability to divulge while my mother was present.

“Oh, how could I forget?” His face lit up. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Lord Jaxon has been found.”

“Alive?” My heart pounded. I knew how long these three men fretted over him, and Hunter and Zachary went as far as returning to the continent to search.

His smile broadened.

“How?”

He set his teacup down and leaned back against the sofa comfortably. “A miracle, truly. He had a head injury and lost his memory. He didn’t know who he was or where he came from. A French family had taken him in and cared for him.”

“Oh, dear, what a blessing.” Mother clapped her hands together. “I’m so delighted for him and his family.”

“When did his memory return?”

“When he saw Zachary… at Waterloo.”

Zachary.

My heart thumped an extra beat as I recalled that moment in the Vauxhall Gardens when he leaned in, fully intent on kissing me. I had never been so tempted in all my life to acquiesce. My heart yearned for such a moment and, despite the odd arrangement of my marriage and my husband’s permission for me to take a lover, the vows in my marriage represented a commitment. One I chose to never break despite his love for another.

“Eveline?” Mother patted my knee and brought me back from my woolgathering.

“Yes?” I glanced at the others. “Oh, forgive me. So… has Lord Jaxon returned home? W—was, um, Zachary with him?”

Lucas subtly glanced at Helena, then looked at me. “Yes, he is here in London.”

“Oh?” That took me entirely by surprise. How long has Zachary been in the same city as me? I tried not to feel affronted, especially since he kept a careful distance after Vauxhall in respect of my marriage. “Why is Lord Jaxon not recovering at his country estate with his family?”

“With the wedding preparations for his older brother at Hartley House, they believed he would recover best without all the chaos. Zachary is living with him in Mayfair.”

Oh.

April entered the parlor with Patrick in her arms. The nurse stood just outside the door and, despite my attempts to make her feel welcome, she never engaged with me.

“Indeed.” Helena stood up. “What a beautiful child.” She cooed and patted his head.

I smiled. With his light brown hair and blue eyes, he most certainly would be a heartbreaker as he grew older.

April twirled him around and a faint grin touched his lips. She stopped before Luke and Helena and faced the boy toward the happy couple. “This here is Patrick Colin Turner.” She reached for one of his hands and held it out to teach him how to shake hands. “This is Lord Lucas and Lady Helena.” She leaned in. “And you will see a lot of them. They are like family.”

He turned his head inward and buried it in her neck, hiding from the strangers.

I held up a biscuit. “Patrick, would you like a cookie?”

He peeked out.

“These are my friends. Can you say hello to them?”

He kept his head lowered but raised a couple of his fingers. I classified his behavior as progress and handed him the treat.

“It is nice to meet you, Patrick,” Lucas said while Helena ran a finger through his long hair. I made the decision to not change anything about his life or appearance until he adjusted to his new surroundings, including his lengthy locks.

“He’s handsome, Eveline.” Helena sighed and placed both her hands on her growing belly. “And what a gift you have been given.”

I smiled at her words. The child truly was a gift.

Before Lucas and Helena departed, Lucas leaned in for a hug. “I know there is much more you need to say, please find a time to meet and send word to my father’s house,” he whispered. He paused and smiled. “Forgive me, I often forget it’s Justin’s house now. We are staying for a month or so.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Once they departed, I turned around to catch a glimpse of Banja leading Patrick back upstairs to the nursey.

I sighed, discouraged, not wanting to force myself upon the child, but so desperately wishing to make a connection. But how does one go about such a task when even his nurse prevents it?