Twenty-seven

Zachary

Walking away from Eveline took every single bit of courage and strength I owned. She was my future and, if I had any say, we would be wed as soon as I could obtain a special license. I had justified in my mind that being together tonight and sharing the love we had for one another would not have been so wrong because I intended on marrying her and yet, I walked away because I loved her too much. She should have a proper wedding and wedding night.

Though it had been my full intention to reveal my financial status to her tonight, I hesitated considering how things with Father’s will had taken an odd turn. Though my mother’s property in Saltdean was labeled a cottage, the house on the cliffs boasted seven bedchambers, a dining room, two parlors, and a substantial garden. More than enough space for her mother, April, Patrick, and Banja for now and eventually to rear a family of our own. But would Eveline want to live there? Neither one of us had ties to the area that I knew of, but it could represent the fresh start we both sought.

In the end, I chose to wait to share the news with Eveline. Knowing Frederick as well as I did, I knew he would fight this with all his might. And despite his desire to avoid Saltdean and the sea, he was driven more out of his desire to see me fail and fall into irredeemable circumstances.

Above all, I didn’t want to give Evie false hope, but the moment I learned that all was clear with Mr. Barclay, I would confess all. Telling her about the inheritance would alter things a bit. Not necessarily for her, since she could afford anything her heart desired, but for me as her future husband, and my ability to provide. I was not under any illusions that women were not capable of funding a household, I just knew with this latest development in the will she would never doubt my intentions. She would never need to wonder if my affection was tied to her wealth.

The next morning, I arrived at the stable quite early after very little sleep. My restlessness had everything to do with the woman who consumed my thoughts. I admit saying goodnight at such an early hour last night left me in the library with a tempting sideboard at my fingertips.

Frederick kept the house well stocked with specialty liquors and twice I had to force myself to leave a room in which I found myself seeking such solace. Each time my fingers ached to engage, I only had to remember Evie and my dreadful behavior when I lost control. I was determined not to do that to her ever again and, if that meant abstaining from alcohol the entirety of my life… so be it.

I patted the pocket of my waistcoat and felt the outline of a small jewel. Despite someone’s intentional search through my personal belongings in my bedchamber, the private cubby behind the brick in the hearth remained undisturbed in my absence. It was there I kept my most precious possessions, including my mother’s ruby and diamond wedding band. Before I left for war the first time, my father gave me the ring, hoping to entice me to stay and marry. While I envisioned the ring on Evie’s finger a time or two, it was before I learned of her marriage. Then after, I deliberately tried to put the precious gem out of my mind until now.

At the same time, Father gave Frederick Mother’s emerald necklace and earrings, but I recall the fury my brother had over the transaction, claiming his future countess should have our mother’s ring. When I offered to make a parallel trade… the ring for the emeralds, he refused stating he knew I was only trying to get my hands on the more valuable of the two. With him, it was always about money.

Once I helped the groom place a side saddle on Eveline’s horse, Isis, I helped him prepare Thunder as well.

“You arrived early.” Eveline’s voice rose from behind.

I strode over to her with slow and determined steps. Without one word I kissed her before she had a moment to breathe or protest, hoping only for the former.

“Now, that,” she smiled once we parted. “That is precisely how I wish to be greeted every single morning from this day forth.”

I beamed and led her over to her horse. “Your wish is my command, love.” Then I held her waist and lifted her up to the saddle.

Mounting Thunder, I then trotted him slowly out the stable doors, but once we were in the open, his snort and stamp proved his eagerness for more. In an instant, Evie and Isis flew past me, breaking out into a run, and I chuckled at the memory of how many times this occurred in our childhood.

I caught up to them at the crest of the first hill and rode by her side over the second. When we slowed before we entered the woods, we trotted cautiously through the uneven terrain and foliage until we reached the bank of the pond.

There, before us, with his gigantic, magnificent limbs, stood Cornelius. I often wondered how such a majestic oak came to be all by itself on an island in the middle of the pond, but it was surely because he came first, and the pond was created after.

As my eyes roamed over the familiar branches of this oak who had become a friend, I recalled all the happy memories entangled within. Pausing, I felt as if we had entered hallowed ground, then reflected in reverence. It had been ages since Eveline and I had been here together, and I wanted to savor every single moment. From her countenance, it seemed she did as well.

Guiding our horses to a patch of grass, I intended to allow Isis and Thunder to roam freely. Since they had been here so often there was no need to tether them.

I dismounted first then helped Evie down. She stood motionless before me, appearing inclined to remain right there and, while I would have enjoyed the delay with my hands upon her, I had something significant to accomplish today.

I led Evie to the rowboat beside the dock. Aside from the dirt that accumulated from years of inactivity, the craft appeared sound and, upon careful inspection, remained seaworthy.

Removing my coat, I laid it over a bench before I held Evie’s hand and helped her inside, the looks we shared took us back to the incident in Hunter’s pond and I hesitated. “Are you certain you wish to go over?” I asked, in case the recent memory stirred some heartache.

“Yes, of course I do.” She paused. “But I wouldn’t be truthful if I didn’t tell you that I’m anxious.”

I reached for her hands. “We can go slow, and I will turn around the moment you ask me to.”

She squeezed my hands. “I just can’t cease thinking about what might have happened if you hadn’t been there for us. If you hadn’t jumped in when you did.”

I brought her hands to my lips. “I am convinced, Evie, that you would have gotten your son to that shore somehow.” I quirked a half smile. “Through your natural determination mixed with the love you have for Patrick, you would have found a way.”

She rewarded me with a stunning smile, and I was sorely tempted to forget the oars and kiss her senseless. I shook my head, retrieved the oars, and refocused on the task at hand. In taking my time rowing across the pond, I stole several glimpses of Evie and watched as she stared longingly in the direction of her former estate.

“Have you been back to Ashton Hall since you left?”

She shook her head. “No, I could not bring myself to do it. The baron has sent my mother several invitations, but we kindly refused. It would be too painful.”

“Yes, I imagine it would be.” We neared the shore of the island. “But wasn’t your father buried in the family plot?”

“Yes, he was.”

“We should visit,” I suggested. “At least his gravestone.”

She smiled. “I would like that.”

When the boat hit the beach of the island, I jumped out and tugged it further along the ground, then assisted Eveline out of it. Leading her to the branch where we had shared so many memories, I felt my palms moisten with nervousness. I was about to commit myself forever to this woman . I helped her settle down on the lower limb while she adjusted her skirts. Taking a shallow breath, she sighed with content. “This has always been the happiest of places for me.”

I sat beside her, my shoulder brushing hers. This was precisely what I remembered of the last time we were here.

Eveline looked over at me and reached for my hand. Touching the fabric of my glove that hid my missing fingers, she caressed my palm gently. “Will you tell me about the war?”

My chest roused with tenderness. Taking a deep breath, I struggled with what I could actually share. There was so little of note that did not include blood and horror.

“Were you scared?” she whispered.

I pulled my eyes away and peered down at my hands. “Yes. Every day.” I breathed through my nose. “I had seen the horrors of war on the peninsula and still chose to go back, but there were soldiers… boys barely old enough to leave home who did not know what to expect. They carried that same curiosity and interest I did at one time.”

“Jaxon said you buried a lot of your men. I’m so sorry to hear that.”

I arched a brow. “Jaxon told you?”

She smiled. “We tend to bump into each other quite often in the garden. He…” she paused, and I peered over at her. When she faced me, she had tears in her eyes. “He asked me to give you grace. I’m so sorry I have not been more understanding.”

I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her against me. “It is I who was not understanding. You have been more than tolerant with my idiocy.”

“I’m sorry you lost so many men.”

“That was the worst of it, Evie. Especially as their leader, their commander. You make decisions that have the power to change a man’s life and future.”

“I can only imagine how difficult that was. What kept you from going mad?”

“Honestly, you don’t consider the consequences. You just proceed. Though contemplations of home and the simple comforts did much to ease a soldier’s mind in the intermittent quietness of the trenches, once the cannons and gunfire began, your only thought is to survive.”

She kept her head against me and placed one hand on my chest. “I prayed for you. Every night, I prayed for your safe return. I feared you would not come home.”

I tipped her chin upward just a smidgeon. “Why did you not tell me at Vauxhall that you were soon to be a widow?”

She chewed on her bottom lip. “If I told you, Zach, then I knew it would be real. That I would somehow be telling you to wait for me, and I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t take you from your life and the possibility of happiness with another woman.”

“Evie…” I angled my head down and kissed her sweetly. “You were the only woman then, and the only woman now, that I could ever find true happiness with.” I stood up to face her directly, reached into my waistcoat pocket, and retrieved the ring. While it is traditionally given after the wedding, I first wanted to know how she felt about this… receiving my mother’s ring. I pinched the jewel between my fingers.

Eveline watched me carefully. My heart pounded in my ears.

I reached for her hand and opened it, placing the ring in her palm. “Please say that you will be mine forever, that you will be my wife.”

She stared first at me, and then the ring.

“This was my mother’s, and I am certain there is no other person she would rather it belong to now.”

She touched the jewelry as if it was exceptionally rare. “It’s the most beautiful ring I have ever seen…” She gazed up at me as tears slipped from her eyes and trailed down her cheeks. “But Zach, are you certain that you want to attach yourself to my complicated life? My mother, sister, and now Patrick?”

“Had you asked me this a few years ago, I would not have been able to tell you yes with full conviction. Though I loved you then, I was floundering and did not know the true capabilities of my heart. But now, Evie, there is nothing I long for more than to be your husband and Patrick’s father. I cannot imagine my life without either one of you.” I brushed her tears tenderly away. “And I don’t wish to wait to marry you. I’ve waited too long already.”

She clutched her hand tightly with the ring inside and threw both her arms around my neck then kissed me.

I savored the gentleness of her touch. When she pulled away, I chuckled, “Is that a yes?”

She nodded, then nuzzled her head in the groove of my neck. “Yes, Zachary, I will marry you.”

I held her tight. “I can acquire a special license within a week. Is that too soon?”

She choked out a reply as she drew back. “But, where? Where would we marry?”

I retrieved the ring from her fist and slipped it on her finger. It wobbled slightly. Her fingers seemed to be a tad slimmer than my mother’s. “I was thinking of Gottling Hall’s parish. I am certain Hunter and Gwendolyn would love to conclude their house party with a wedding supper. A soiree is already planned, it can be both.”

She smiled cheekily. “Are you sure you didn’t choose that location just to send a message to Lord Trenton and Viscount Glade?”

I laughed out loud. “While that is an excellent notion, I only mentioned it so that our friends could be present at the most important event of my life, and, naturally, your son as well.”

“Patrick!” Eveline clamped her palm over her mouth. “I must tell him first.”

“Yes.” I hesitated. “He should certainly have some say, too.” And while I felt confident the five-year-old found me likeable, what would he say about a marriage between me and his new mother?

Eveline placed her hands on each side of my face. “My decision has already been made. I am marrying you, Zachary Collins. I only wish to tell Patrick the good news first.” She leaned forward and kissed me in a way that forced all qualms to vanish. Eveline Brown most certainly loved me.