1. Devin

Chapter 1

Devin

"No, no, no, no, no! It can't be gone." I looked up and down the street in both directions, praying I'd see a tow truck with my shitty little hatchback dragging behind it.

But no luck.

My car was gone, and there was no way I could pay to get it out of impound. I'd only been inside the Santa Fe regional airport for half an hour—45 minutes tops—dropping off applications for jobs that would quite literally change my life. Even though I got there at the crack of dawn, the managers seemed not only disinterested in talking to me but actively annoyed by my presence.

Did I smell that bad? I took a shower at the gym yesterday morning, but it had been hot. It was always hot. And my car was low on gas, so I couldn't exactly let the A/C run all night.

I'd been moving it on and off the main streets to avoid the meters, but apparently I was gone just long enough for the free overnight parking to switch to the Saturday-morning metered parking, and now, everything I owned was gone.

I laughed at how dramatic that would sound if I were to say it out loud. But sadly, it wasn't hyperbole. After living in my car for the past month and a half, I literally had nothing left.

Just the backpack from high school that I always kept with me and about four dollars that I'd gotten from redeeming soda cans.

Without anywhere else to go, I walked to the bus stop and sat down. There wasn't a shelter to wait under, just a bench, but it was still early, so the sun wasn't at its peak yet. After almost an hour of sitting under the rising sun, I realized that particular line only ran Monday through Friday.

Of course it did.

Maybe I would just sit there until Monday morning and then take the bus to wherever the hell it went.

It was tempting, but it would soon be too hot to just sit there, so I started walking.

An old car wash had a working pay phone out front, which could have come in handy if I had someone to call.

I'd burned most of my bridges years ago, and there was only one person in the world who might actually care if I lived or died. Annoyed that I'd gotten myself into this situation again, I pulled out my pay-by-the-minute cell phone from my backpack and considered whether I had the balls to make the call.

I estimated I had four or five minutes left on my phone account, and with my charger still in my car, I might not even have that long before the battery died.

The grocery store next door wasn't busy, so I wandered in and went up and down the aisles, looking for something I could afford. When I landed in front of a wall of cereal, I closed my eyes and inhaled the fruity flavors of my youth. My mom didn't get us the sugary kind often, but around our birthdays or special occasions, she'd bring home the good stuff.

Fuck, I miss her.

Nothing had been the same since she died. Dad started drinking, Danny started hanging out with anyone but me, and I was the pathetic gay kid who fucked up everything. Some things never changed.

Caught up in the sentimentality of the teeth-rotting cereal, I hit the button to call Danny and hoped he'd pick up.

It rang several times, but finally, my brother's voice entered my ear, and the first hint of hope filled me. "Devin, is that you? I thought you were dead."

"Not dead yet, but working on it." I chuckled because sometimes the truth was fucking hilarious. "Hey, I'm in kind of a rough spot."

Danny sighed, unable to hide his disappointment in me. "Aren't we all, bro. What's up?"

"My car got towed, and I'm not working right now. Any chance you can loan me a few bucks?"

He choked out a laugh. "Seriously? I don't hear from you for months and you call to ask for some fucking money. No, Devin. I've got nothing for you."

"Danny, I'm sorry. I've been a shit brother. I hate that I'm asking for help right now, but I don't know what else to do. I'm literally homeless with just a backpack and about two minutes left on this phone before it dies. Can you at least come pick me up in Santa Fe?"

"Dude, I'm in Vegas til Tuesday." He exhaled heavily. "Ryan's home, so if you can get a ride out there, you can stay in my room til I get home and on the couch after that. That's the best I can do."

"Yeah, okay. I'll figure it out." That was better than I could have hoped for. "Can you tell Ryan to leave a key under your mat if he's not gonna be home. My phone won't be working much longer, so I'll just let myself in if he's not there."

"Yeah, I will." I could almost hear all the snide comments he was holding back before he sighed in resignation. I knew he was annoyed with me. Hell, I was annoyed with me too.

"Seriously, Danny. I appreciate it. I promise to be better." I had no idea how I was gonna fulfill a promise like that, but I planned to try.

"Yeah, I know. Just…be safe, Dev."

My phone turned off before I could say goodbye. Apparently, I didn't even have four whole minutes left in my account. But I had my brother's address, and if I could hitch a ride to Albuquerque, at least I'd have a place to sleep for a while. Assuming his roommate let me in.

The last time I saw Ryan, his dick was down my throat and then his girlfriend walked in on us, so I didn't have high expectations for a friendly reunion.

I'd never been great with directions, but I'd traveled between Santa Fe and Albuquerque enough times to know which roads to take.

At first, I stayed on the main highway, holding my thumb out with the expectation that within a few cars, I'd be sitting in the comfort of air-conditioning and listening to some old dude tell me stories about the war or his grandkids or the bad drivers on the road.

But apparently, all those after-school specials about not picking up hitchhikers worked and no one even pretended like they were gonna stop. A few cars honked, but I couldn't tell if it was to scold me for being such a loser or supporting me in my efforts to hitch my way into the arms of a serial killer.

Either way, my only option was to just keep walking.

The sun was getting higher in the sky, and my head was pounding. A sure sign of dehydration.

As much as I hated to do it, I stopped at a gas station and picked up a bottle of water and a Red Bull. I needed the energy if I was actually going to be walking any portion of the journey to my brother's place.

Albuquerque was a good sixty or seventy miles away.

Maybe I'd get a ride or two for part of that journey, but I couldn't count on it. At least not with the way my day was going so far.

As I continued on, I saw the signs for El Camino Real de Tierra Adentro National Historic Trail. Cutting through the El Camino Real would shave a lot of miles off the walk, but there was practically no chance of getting a ride once I turned into the park. On the other hand, there weren't a lot of chances coming my way on the streets, so what did I have to lose?