Chapter Thirty-Eight

Evie

A new doubt popped into her mind for every flashcard she turned over.

Today was test day and Evie was a mess. So much rested on the outcome of a single test. It would decide where in her academic career she would start. As a junior or forced to take 101 classes to refresh before she could move on. It would determine how long it would take to earn that diploma and walk across that stage.

It would also determine how love was going to fit in her life. She hadn’t meant to fall, she hadn’t meant to even care, but she cared so much it was a physical ache when she wasn’t with him. But feeling it and saying it were two different things. One scared her, the other terrified her—made something that was supposed to be straightforward into something that had so many strings it was a gigantic knot of emotion in her belly.

What have you done? Traded in every ounce of common sense for complete chaos, that’s what.

“Whoa, I know that look. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

Evie looked up to find her parents standing at the counter, both looking concerned.

Moira was dressed in a silk robe with cream feathers down the trim and matching kitten heels that doubled as slippers. Her face was made up, her hair perfectly coifed, and her eyes were luminous. This was Moira in the morning.

Lenard was in rainbow-striped pajama bottoms and a shirt that read “Glam-Pa Noun: /Gla`M/Paw. A Regular Grandpa, Just More Fabulous.”

Evie, on the other hand, was in the sweats and oversize T-shirt she’d slept in. Her hair a riot of curls and a hint of toothpaste on the corner of her mouth. But it was the bowling ball wedged in her gut that was the most obnoxious thing in the room.

Evie could play this one of two ways: pretend everything was fine—like she always did—or actually let the two people who loved her most in the world help. Between them they had thirty-five years of love. Perhaps strictly platonic and not the conventional. But her parents’ relationship was one of the healthiest she knew. Maybe it was time she absorbed some of that knowledge that came from decades of wisdom.

Evie walked to the counter and sat on the stool. Dropping her notecards to the table, she said, “I think I blew it last night.”

Moira snorted. “I bet Jonah woke up a very happy man.”

“You knew?” Evie felt embarrassment creep up her cheeks.

“Honey, anyone who was a hundred yards from the office knew,” Lenard said. “So, do I need to sterilize the desk?”

“Dad. Seriously?”

“Lenard,” Moira chafed and Evie was happy to have at least one parent on her side. “Back to you and blowing.”

Or not.

“I think I told Jonah that I was falling in love with him.”

“You think, or you did?” Moira asked.

Moira’s smile racked up some serious wattage and Lenard clapped his hands in front of his mouth. Evie covered her face. “I so did. I ruined it.”

Moira placed a hand on Evie’s. “Honey, the only way you can ruin love is if you aren’t honest. With yourself or your partner.”

She looked up. “I don’t have time to take care of anyone else.”

“Who are you taking care of?” Lenard asked. “Because from my point of view Jonah is a big, strapping, responsible man who can take care of himself.”

Moira cupped her chin. “He isn’t Mateo.”

“I know. But I’m still me and I’m a control freak.”

“That’s another thing about love,” Moira said. “You can’t control it. It just happens.”

“My whole life has been a series of ‘just happeneds’.”

“Honey, the best things in life come from love, but people try to control it to avoid a broken heart. A broken heart just leaves room for more love.”

Was that what she was doing? Using Mateo as an excuse to avoid future heartache? But who’s to say that heartache was the end result? Plus, her heart hurt even thinking about ending things with Jonah.

“Then why are you dating all of these incompatible men?” Evie asked.

Moira sighed. “I’m not looking for love.”

“Mom, you have more capacity for love than anyone I know. Maybe it’s time you let someone love you back.”

“How did you get so smart?” Lenard asked.

Evie smiled. “I have these really amazing parents.”

…

Anxiety set in with every passing moment. Every time a new student took a seat her heart thumped. Three people had mistaken her for the professor and, while she was dressed to impress, the others were dressed like they’d just rolled out of bed.

Then the professor walked in and— Wait, was he old enough to be a professor?

Evie had a good decade on him. Great, she was going to be judged by a guy who looked like a gamer and didn’t know a world without the internet.

None of that matters! she reminded herself, pulling her shoulders back.

What mattered was she was taking that leap toward reaching her goals. And she’d leaped—in more ways than one. It was as terrifying as it was exhilarating. So what if she was older than everyone? Her life experience would give her an advantage. She’d been preparing for this day since she was forced to drop out of school sixteen years ago.

This was her time. Her chance to put herself first and accomplish her dreams.

It started with a test—which she could ace with her eyes closed. A test that would open the doors to a future she chose—instead of one that chose her. Not that she’d regretted a single decision over the past sixteen years, but she’d missed being a priority in her own life. And today was the first day in this new chapter—a chapter that was all hers. A chapter she never would have had the confidence to start if it hadn’t been for Jonah’s encouragement and support.

Jonah. Another thing in her life that was as terrifying as it was exhilarating because she was pretty sure she was, for the first time in her life, in love.

“Please take a test and Scantron and pass the rest back,” the professor said, walking toward each row and handing Evie a package—because of course she was in the front. Gold-star, serious students sat in the front and she was serious as hell about getting off on the right foot.

Evie took one and handed the rest to the kid behind her who—

Are you freaking kidding me?

“Dexter?”

“Hey, Mrs. G,” he said, like she was the team parent who brought the orange slices to the game. “What are you doing here?”

“Taking the placement exam. Same as you.”

“Cool.” Dexter looked around, then lowered his voice. “It’s an invite only, but this frat I’m rushing is having a day-ger.”

“A day-ger?”

“Yeah, like a rager, but during the day. Anyway, you should come. Just tell them Dex sent you.”

“Um, thanks.”

“Sure thing, Mrs. G.”

Evie turned back around, wondering what kind of quantum-realm nightmare she’d just entered. She didn’t have time to process the moment because the professor said, “Calculators, cell phones, laptops, and any other kind of device need to stay in your bags at all times. If I see one, you fail. If I see you talking, you fail. If I see you looking at your neighbor’s papers, you fail. Understood?”

“Yes,” Evie said brightly, then realized the question must have been rhetorical because no one else spoke up.

“You have three hours to finish the exam. When you are done, set them on the podium and quietly exit. Your scores will be on your University Portal next week. Begin.”

Evie licked the tip of her finger, then opened to the first page. It was the English section—which was her strongest skill. She breezed through the first part of the test, no problem. Then she got to the math section and felt a sigh of relief. They didn’t have to show their work, which meant she could use logical math, not this fancy new math Camila’s generation invented.

She’d just answered her first equation when her phone vibrated in her purse. She looked around to make sure no one heard it, and the professor pointed to his eyes, then hers. Evie swallowed hard and put her eyes back on her own paper.

It vibrated again. And again.

Six times in a row the phone went off.

The professor locked gazes with her. “Can you please turn off your phone?”

“Will I fail?”

“You will if you don’t stop the disturbance. A quick in and out, no looking at the screen.”

Evie gave a decisive nod and took her phone out. She didn’t mean to look at the screen, she really didn’t but Waverly’s preschool’s number flashed and her heart went triple rhythm.

“I am so sorry.” Evie took her phone and approached the podium. “I just need to get this.”

“The rules were clear.”

“Can you make an exception? This might be an emergency.”

“No phones. No exceptions. If you’re going to answer you need to do it outside.”

Evie nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

“Once the tests are handed out no one is to leave the room.”

The phone blew up again.

“What if I have to use the restroom?” she asked.

“Then you may go, but all devices must stay in your bag. And your bag must stay in this room.”

“But it might be—”

“No exceptions, ma’am.”

“Did you just ma’am me?”

For the first time the professor looked uncertain. That smug entitlement vanished and what was left behind was likely a teacher’s aide.

“One day, you are going to be in this same situation and I hope the gatekeeper to your dreams isn’t a raging asshole.”

Evie picked up her purse and exited the room. Her palms were sweating, her heart heavy with disappointment. But if this was an emergency, she couldn’t ignore it. It rang again and Evie swiped to answer.

“Hello?”

“Evie Granger?” a frantic voice said.

She cupped her phone to her ear and started toward her car. “This is her.”

“Hi, I’m calling from Waverly’s school. She is running a fever and has been throwing up. We can’t seem to get ahold of her father and you are listed as her emergency contact. We need you to come in right now.”