CHAPTER THIRTY: CHLOE

“You drove five hours just because you missed me?” I blinked at him. “It’s not like you’ll never see me again. I’m coming back tomorrow.”

“And it was too long.” Theo crossed the room, closing the distance between us, and gripped the windowsill either side of my hips. He lowered his forehead to my shoulder and drew in a deep breath, slightly tilting his face towards my neck. “I was an idiot, then you avoided me and left before I could talk to you. What else was I supposed to do but chase after you?”

I turned my face downward towards his. “I don’t know. Call me?”

“I can’t touch you if I call you.”

“I didn’t say you could touch me now.”

“You’re hardly pushing me away.”

That was because I was afraid that he’d notice the insane beating of my heart if I tried too hard to do that.

I swallowed and reached up to lay my hand on the back of his neck. “Well, you look tired.”

“I am tired. It was a long drive and there was an idiot who crashed on the motorway, so it took longer than it should have.” He wrapped one of his arms around my waist. “Can we stay like this for a minute?”

Stupid. Idiot. Cinnamon. Roll.

Why the heck was I so weak to this side of him?

And how was it possible that a big fluffy baby of a man like this was such a dirty bastard in bed? It didn’t make sense to my brain.

“I’m mad at you, you know,” I said softly, staring across the room at the door. “You were petty and childish in the office, then instead of talking about it, you pulled some shitty ‘I’m the boss’ stunt and eventually walked out.”

“I’m sorry.” His grip around my waist tightened. “My jealousy got the better of me.”

Well, shit. Heidi was right.

“Jealousy? What reason could you have possibly had to be jealous?”

“Lennon asked you out.”

This man… “And I turned him down,” I reminded him. “There’s every reason not to be jealous.”

“Then what about now? Am I allowed to be jealous now?” He brushed his lips across my collarbone.

“No. You have nothing to be jealous over, for a start.” I slid my hand between his face and my neck, pushing his head away. “Stop it. If you drove all the way here to talk, then talk to me.”

Theo sighed, but he didn’t push it any further. “You said you were seeing someone. To Lennon.”

I blinked at him. “Yes. As a rule, it’s the easiest way to turn someone down. It leaves no room for them to ask for justification for why you’re saying no.”

“Is that the only reason you said it?”

“Well…” I ran my fingers across my chest, looking away. “It’s not like we ever explicitly stated it, but we have a physical relationship. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m not in the habit of sleeping with more than one person at a time.”

His fingers twitched against my side. “So, you were talking about me? About us?”

“Yes. Who else did you think I was talking about? What kind of person do you take me for?”

Theo groaned, dropping his forehead to my shoulder once more. “Fuck. You mean it was all for nothing?”

“What, you mean you getting your knickers in a twist and being a right royal prick?”

He flinched.

“Pretty much,” I said. “If you’d just talked to me instead of getting yourself in a tizzy, all of this wouldn’t have happened. I was avoiding you yesterday, and it’s because you pissed me off. I thought I might smack you with something heavy if I had to speak to you too much. I came back to London for the party earlier than I’d intended because I needed to get away and clear my head. Right now, we’re living together, and there’s no room to breathe. That’s why I’m pissed off you showed up here, and without telling me, no less.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He wrapped his other arm around me and clutched me against him.

My arms moved almost reflexively to circle his waist and return the hug. “Keep going.”

“I’m sorry I let my childish feelings get the better of me and took it out on you,” he murmured with his lips close to my ear. “My jealousy isn’t your responsibility.”

“Good answer.” I patted his back. “Now, you can tell me exactly why you were jealous.”

“Don’t want to.”

“Then I guess you can let go of me and leave me alone for the rest of the night.”

“I didn’t like the idea of you seeing someone else,” he mumbled, spreading his fingers across my lower back. “And I don’t like it now.”

My heart thumped harshly in my chest. “I’m not seeing anyone else.”

“You were with that bastard for ages. Adam.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. “His name is Alex.”

“Chloe. That doesn’t help.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “My aunt likes to introduce me to people—surely you know that. That’s all this is. Her trying to set me up with someone.”

Theo grunted. “You looked like you were getting along well with him.”

“Yeah? Well, you didn’t look too miserable about having Angelica Holland hanging off your arm, either.”

“It was horrific. I need to sanitise my arm.” He raised his arms and wrapped them around my shoulders, holding me so tightly I couldn’t breathe unless I turned my head to the side and rested my cheek against his chest. “But it’s good to know it bothered you.”

I stilled. “It didn’t bother me.”

“No? Well, seeing you with that Alex guy bothered me. I don’t want to let you go back down there because I know he’ll be right back by your side, and I don’t want to see it.”

Thump. Thump. Thump.

My heart was beating so crazily that there was no way he didn’t know. There wasn’t a chance in hell that he didn’t know what his words were doing to me right now.

“Why?” I whispered, sliding my hands around to grip his shirt at his waist.

“The same reason I don’t want to go back down there and have someone hang off my arm in an attempt to get my attention. I hate it.”

“They’re not even remotely the same.”

“If it’s not you, I don’t want it, Chloe.”

I swallowed, closing my eyes. “Theo…”

He released his tight hold on me and grabbed my wrist. As we parted, he unfurled my fingers and pressed my hand flat against his chest. It was right over his heart, and heat rose in my cheeks.

It was racing.

His heart was racing.

“Did it never occur to you?” he asked, his voice low and husky. “That maybe I harboured feelings for you that were more than just mere sexual attraction?”

Oh.

My stomach fluttered.

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. Theo flexed his fingers around my wrist and sighed, raising my hand from his chest. He pressed his lips against my palm, sending little tingles up my arm that made me shiver.

“It’s why I didn’t want to accept your resignation,” he continued, his voice still low. “I knew that if I did, you’d leave, and I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I wasn’t sure how to. I knew then that you hated me and would never believe me if I told you I had feelings for you. Aside from that, what I told you about not wanting to engage in an office relationship was true. I couldn’t imagine ever putting you in the position I was in a few years ago.”

“Wait.” I tilted my head back and looked up at him. “What do you mean, your feelings are why you wouldn’t accept my resignation?”

“It’s petty, I know, but—”

“I don’t mean that. I mean you’ve had feelings for me for that long?”

He nodded. “You might think I’m quite pitiful if you realised just how long I’ve felt this way.”

“I…” What on Earth was I supposed to say now?

He had feelings for me?

And had for at least two months?

“I wasn’t… going to tell you.” He took a step back, dropping my hand, and turned away. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Shit.”

“Theo—”

“My feelings aren’t why the business trip happened. I just want to make sure you know that. I had no idea Gramps was going to spring that on you during that meeting—especially the living together part. I found that out at the same time as you.”

If anyone else said it, it would have seemed like an excuse.

“I believe you,” I said quietly. “Believe it or not, I know what kind of man you are, Theo. You wouldn’t deceive me like that.”

“I’m sorry. I feel like all I do with you is apologise. Especially right now. It’s unfair of me to have forced you into this conversation when you aren’t feeling great.” His shoulders dropped, and he grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair. “I should go. I’ll tell your aunt that you’re resting, and—”

I pushed away from the windowsill and stretched out, grabbing the back of his shirt.

“Chloe?”

“No.” I fisted his shirt in my hands and stepped up behind him, pressing my face into his back. “You can’t just say all that and leave. It’s not fair.”

“But you—”

I closed my eyes again. “Are you really going to drive all the way down here just to say that and then leave me again?”

“It wasn’t exactly what I drove down here to say. I wasn’t ever going to tell you.”

“Even now? After things changed?”

His shoulders heaved with the weight of his sigh. “I don’t know.”

“Do you regret it?” I asked softly. “Telling me that you have feelings for me?”

“I… don’t know.”

“You’re an idiot.” I released his shirt and took a step back, staring at the floor. “I missed you, too. Didn’t I say that?”

The toes of his shoes came into my line of sight. “Did you miss me the same way I missed you?”

I nodded. “It’s true that I… really didn’t like you not long ago,” I said, staring at our shoes. “But it’s also true that I didn’t know you that well, either. I realised pretty quickly that you weren’t actually a complete bastard like I initially thought.”

“What about now?” He reached out and brushed his fingertips across my cheek, then tucked my hair behind my ear. “Do you like me now?”

I leant forwards, touching my forehead to his chest. “I do.”

He drew in a deep breath before letting it go slowly and wrapping his arms around my shoulders. He cupped the back of my head and dipped his chin, and his lips were so close to my ear that my skin prickled with each breath he took. “The same way I like you?”

“I think so,” I whispered, turning my face slightly towards his. “I just… I’m confused.”

“Then let me give you something else to think about for a minute.” He tilted my head back and brushed his lips over mine.

Warmth instantly spread through my body, and I gripped his shirt once more, pulling him into me. We’d kissed what felt like a thousand times over the past week, but there was something different about this one.

Something more intoxicating than all the others.

He flicked his tongue against the seam of my lips, and I softened, parting them for an even deeper kiss. The stroke of Theo’s tongue against mine lit my entire body on fire, and I reached my arms up around his neck to cling tighter to him.

Theo had feelings for me.

If that was what he wanted me to think about, he was doing an incredible job at keeping that little fact on my mind.

“Chloe.” He lowered his mouth to my neck as his hands crept down to my hips. “This dress is too tight.”

“I’m aware. I’m wearing it.” I gasped when he grazed his teeth over my skin. “Don’t you dare give me a hickey.”

“Why not? That’s an effective way of showing that Adam that you already belong to someone, isn’t it?” He licked the spot he’d just nibbled.

“You’re being a petty brat.”

“I’ll let you do it to me. Wouldn’t you like to show those women that I’m yours?”

My cheeks burned, and I pushed at his chest. “Stop. Saying things like that… I…”

“Why? It’s true.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. “I am yours, Chloe. For as long as you’ll have me. As long as you want me.”

Ah.

He was going to kill me with those words.

“I just…”

“Chloe?” Uncle Jay’s voice was muffled by the door, but his knocks were loud and clear. “Your aunt sent me.”

I quickly shuffled out of Theo’s hold, then grabbed his arm and shoved him behind the wall, out of view of the door. “Stay there,” I hissed, glaring at him for good measure before rushing to the door and pulling it open ever so slightly. “Sorry, Uncle Jay. I didn’t realise I’d been away so long.”

He smiled warmly. “She just wanted me to make sure you’re okay. She tried to get away, but Cass pulled out some surprise vodka jelly shots and she got a bit swept up.”

I fought back a laugh. “That sounds like her.”

“How do you feel? Do you need some painkillers?”

“Oh, no, I have some. I brought some with me,” I said hurriedly. “But thank you. Can you give me another ten, maybe fifteen minutes?”

“Of course. Don’t rush; you had a long day yesterday, after all. I’ve got my phone, so call me if you need anything.”

“All right. Thanks, Uncle Jay.” I smiled and closed the door as he waved me goodbye. I sagged back against the door with a sigh and buried my face in my hands. I sank down to crouch in front of the door, still hiding my face, and groaned.

“Can I come out yet?”

I peeked up through my fingers. Theo was peering around the corner of the wall, and his lips were curved up into a tiny smile as he surveyed me on the floor.

“What are you doing down there?” he asked.

“Contemplating all my life choices until now,” I replied, my voice slightly muffled by my hands. “Every. Single. One.”

“You know, you could have just told him I was here because I’d brought you meds. It wouldn’t be that weird,” Theo reasoned, walking over to me and holding out his hands.

I sighed, putting my hands in his so he could pull me up to my feet. “It was easier just to hide you.”

“You’re probably right.” He wrapped his arms around my shoulders again. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“No. I’m overwhelmed and confused,” I answered honestly. “Even more so than I was before.”

“I’m sorry, Chlo. I made it worse, didn’t I?”

“No.” I pressed my face against his chest. “I’m glad you told me the truth. I thought it was just me and I was wondering if I was crazy, so you actually helped a bit.”

“Really? I thought I just gave you more questions.”

“You did. You gave me as many as you answered.”

“How on Earth was I helpful, then?”

“Because I’m no longer being an angsty baby over my feelings. I just have to figure out what to do from here.”

Theo momentarily tensed, then slid his hand across to my neck. His fingers slipped into my hair as he cupped the back of it, and he pressed his lips against the top of my head. “Don’t fret so much,” he said softly. “Tomorrow, we’ll go back to Buckley Heath, and we can carry on the way we have been for the next two weeks.”

“What do you mean?” I tilted my head back and met his eyes. “You mean act like this didn’t happen?”

“No. I don’t think I could ever forget you telling me how you feel about me.” He lightly touched his lips to mine. “But the real world exists here in London, doesn’t it? Everything you’re worrying about doesn’t exist in Buckley Heath.”

He was right.

It was almost as if we lived in another world while we were at the cottage.

That was how we’d ended up in this situation to begin with.

“Whatever is on your mind can be dealt with when our trip is over.” He rested his forehead against mine. “And we’ll deal with it together, okay?”

I gripped his shirt tightly.

Could I believe him?

Was it really okay if I did?

“Okay,” I said softly. “But I… Are you not upset with me?”

“How could I be upset with you?”

“Well, we just admitted that we have feelings for each other, and that’s supposed to be a happy thing, but this doesn’t feel like the happiest of situations.”

Theo laid his hands against my cheeks and pulled back, staring into my eyes. “You watch too much TV. In case it wasn’t clear, I am happy, Chlo. I’m so happy I want to climb to the top of this damn hotel and scream it at the top of my lungs.”

My lips twitched. “Idiot.”

“Maybe that would be doable if we’d met in a pub or through friends. Maybe things would feel different if we didn’t work together—if I wasn’t who I am, and you weren’t my secretary. But we do, I am, and you are. I wouldn’t change any of those things for the world; we wouldn’t have met if that wasn’t the way things are, but that doesn’t take away the fact that we have more to consider than just our feelings for one another.”

He was right.

Although I might have changed the whole ‘boss’ part. He had tormented me for a while.

“Every relationship has their anxieties, and the ones we share just happen to be a bit more complicated than others. But it’s all right. We have time to work it out.” He pecked the tip of my nose. “My feelings aren’t going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Hmm. What if mine do?”

“I’ll make sure you catch me getting myself off in your shower.”

I blinked at him. “Theo. Really?”

He grinned. “It worked last time, didn’t it?”

My cheeks warmed at his words. He wasn’t exactly wrong…

“It’ll all work out.” He kissed my left cheek, then my right, then my forehead, before finally finishing his little journey around my face with another peck to the tip of my nose. “We’ll go back to the cottage, pretend the real world doesn’t exist, and just be together the way we have been for the last week.”

“I don’t know. Ignoring my anxieties seems like a bad idea.”

“On the other hand, so is focusing on them.” He smiled, meeting my eyes. “And they’re not your anxieties. They’re our anxieties.”

His words wrapped around me like a warm blanket, and I clamped my arms around his waist, squeezing him tightly.

“I can’t believe I used to imagine hitting you over the head with a box file,” I muttered into his shoulder.

“You used to do what?”

“Never mind.”