25. Offline
25
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“R udy, can we talk?”
Like a great sleeping beast, the kitchen only came alive at night. And tonight? It vibrated with energy. We had a full house booked, only slightly unusual for a weekday, but I didn’t want to wait any longer to set my future in motion.
Rudy turned away from the counter where he was measuring out ingredients and grabbed a towel to wipe his hands. Walking toward me with a grin, he teased, “When Marlena starts a conversation like that, I’m usually in trouble.”
I laughed and wagged my head from side to side as I led the way back to my office. “Hm, depends how you look at it.”
Sitting behind the desk, I folded my hands on the desk I now knew had seen a lot more than just paperwork and settled my gaze on Rudy.
“How do you feel about us hiring a manager to take my place?”
He cocked his head to the side. “A manager?”
I nodded. “Like Marlena did for Nan.”
He settled back in his seat and smiled widely. “How do you feel about Marlena coming back onboard?”
Could it be that easy?
For weeks, I had agonized over leaving Nan’s pride and joy in someone else’s hands, finally concluding I couldn’t do it.
Then Tuesday morning, not even 2 hours after I left him, Gabe called to update me on his plans with Zoe.
Zoe, who we presumed to have gone home.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” he murmured into the phone.
I closed my eyes as I clutched the receiver of Nan’s house phone in my hand. I preferred my cell, but Gabe got a kick out of calling the house phone, said it made him feel young again. Made him feel like no time had passed.
Zoe had decided to stay until Saturday instead of leaving this morning as previously planned. After he got off work, they planned to take Dylan down to the beach to have dinner at Krippy’s Chippy before walking to the carousel at Carousel Island.
Jealousy flared in my heart and seared my veins.
Because the three of them, no matter how I looked at it, were a family.
And as much as Gabe insisted Zoe was happy with the current arrangement, every cell in my body warned me she wanted her family back.
“Shae? I won’t go if you don’t want me to, but Dylan should know her. I can invite Zoe here, but I prefer to go out so we can go our separate ways when it’s time to put Dylan to bed. And I don’t feel comfortable with her taking Dylan down to the beach.”
My tongue was tied, my emotions tripping over each other in an effort to be heard.
He sighed. “I know this is difficult. Once you get to know her, you’ll see she’s harmless. She’s the last person in the world who wants to be a mother. But she deserves to know her daughter a little bit. In the long run, it’s the best thing for Dylan.”
Her daughter, not yours.
I would do well to remember that.
I finally found my voice. “It’s okay.”
For the next few days, he kept in close contact with me, reassuring me with his voice and the time he gave me that he wasn’t going anywhere.
In the morning when I was still in bed and he was at the shop with his dad, he called the house phone.
After dinner, when I was at Ayana’s, he video called with Dylan on his lap.
And later in the evening when things began to die down at Ayana’s, I sat in the office while he lay in bed ready to sleep, murmuring softly, his voice sleepy and warm.
It was during those conversations that we began to dream and map out a life together, one where I didn’t live an hour away.
I struggled with the idea of leaving Ayana’s and Nan’s house behind. But I wanted the life Gabe offered, too.
My past insisted I stay put while my dreams beckoned me into the future.
Zoe being in town for no other purpose other than to spend time with Gabe and Dylan complicated the issue and left my nerves raw and jittery.
A never-ending reel of anxiety looped in my brain.
What were they doing after Gabe finished work?
Would she stay late at his place?
Was he still attracted to her?
Did she make him laugh?
How easy would it be for him to fall back in with her? Certainly, it would be far less complicated.
Worrying didn’t help, I knew this, but it didn’t stop me.
When I wasn’t missing Gabe and Dylan, I was putting out fires at Ayana’s, one time literally when one of the new cooks left a towel draped over the stove.
Our best server called in sick at the last minute, our sous-chef came down with a sudden case of stomach flu, and our freezer was on the fritz. Combined with the pressure to deliver the Ayana’s experience to each and every smiling, shiny-faced, customer who walked through the door, I was left depleted.
And I missed my girls.
Before Gabe came back into my life, I spent my free time with Bridge, Harley, Noelle, and Wren, but especially Bridge.
Other than chats about Nadine’s upcoming shower, I’d barely talked to her.
I came to two conclusions.
One: I wanted to be less hands-on at Ayana’s.
Two: Life’s too short to live someone else’s dream.
Gabe’s call on Friday night served to reinforce them both.
I’d just opened Ayana’s when my cell rang, Gabe’s number on the screen. This was not our normal call time. My heart thrummed in my throat.
Rushing to the coat check room, I picked up the call. “Gabe?”
“Hey, baby. Just letting you know I’ve been called out for a fire.”
A wave of dizziness swept over me at the thought of Gabe putting himself in harm’s way. My hand flew out, my palm slapping down on the wall to ground me. “A fire? A real fire? Where is it? Is everyone okay?”
His voice softened. “No one is hurt so far as they know. It’s a warehouse outside of town, but there’s a danger of it spreading because it’s so damn big already. They’re calling pretty much all of us in.”
“Is Dylan going to your parents?”
He cleared his throat. “They’re, uh, not here. They took off for a few nights.”
“Want me to come?” I offered, my heart pounding.
I wanted to be there for both of them, but for me as well.
This was the first time he’d been called in for an actual fire. Mistlevale may as well have been on the moon for how removed I felt from him.
At least if I were at his place, I’d be able to see for myself that he was okay.
“I can call in to work and come look after Dylan.”
His voice even softer, he answered, “Thank you, Shae-baby, but it’s okay.” He snorted. “For once, Zoe’s timing is impeccable. She’s going to stay at the house until I get home.”
My spine turned to ice.
“In your bed?” I blurted out the question without thought.
“No,” he scoffed. “Of course not. She’ll stay in the guest room.” He paused. “If it makes you more comfortable, I’ll send Dylan with her to the hotel. We’ve done it before, just not usually on a school night.”
I wanted to say yes, I wanted to say yes desperately, but that wasn’t fair to Dylan. “No, it’s okay.”
This wasn’t about not trusting Gabe. My brain was going rogue, sure life was gearing up to pull the rug from under me. I gritted my teeth and yanked it back online.
“I trust you, Gabe. Just…please, honey, be careful.”
“You can and I will,” he assured me quietly. “You’re not the only one afraid to screw this up.”
But I didn’t breathe easy until he was back.
And she was gone.