21. TOTALLY PLATONIC

21

TOTALLY PLATONIC

Summer

Fucking Hazel. I'm going to kill her.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Logan glares at me getting off the bed.

Okay, that's a little too aggressive.

"I can explain. Just chill."

"Su, I don't have time for your shit, where the fuck have you been?" He gets in my personal space, and the coffee in my hands spills on me, burning me.

"Ow." I place the cup on the table, and shake my hand, my mind frantic.

"I don't hear you explaining."

"I went for a walk, okay." I turn away.

"And when exactly did you go on this walk?"

Fuck fuck fuck. He sent me a message around seven.

"I left just after 5 a.m., I took a cab to the beach. I miss the sunrise." I lie.

Why the fuck did I just say a cab? What if he wants me to show him proof? Fuck.

"And you didn't think to answer my texts? I've been here since 06:30."

"Logan, I don't know what you want me to say." I fold my arms, turning back to him, trying to hide the tremble of my hands. I'm not used to lying. My nerves are shooting at all directions.

"And last night? Where were you then?"

I swallow. "I was asleep like I said I was. I had a long week, you know that." I'm glad my voice comes out strong.

"Really? You think I'm stupid, don't you? Then what were you doing at your ex's house last night, huh? Are you fucking them, Su?"

My mouth falls open. Shit.

"Logan, I am not cheating on you. I can explain that."

He just looks at me.

"I went to check on him, I just wanted to make sure he wasn't relapsing. I didn't cheat on you, baby. You have to believe me." I step closer to him.

"You must really think I'm dumb. It makes sense now though. How you won't sleep with me. You are still fucking them, aren't you?"

"No."

"I mean, it figures," he continues. "Of course, I'm not good enough for you. I can't give you four dicks, I'm just one of me."

My right-hand flies connecting with his left cheek, leaving my hand hot and painful. But I am seething. Shaking.

"How fucking dare you!"

He barely reacts to the slap, just flexes his jaw. "Then prove to me that you are innocent."

I furrow my brows. But he doesn't give me room to wonder, grabbing my waist the next second. He kisses me roughly and when I try to fight him, he lifts me off the ground and throws me on my bed. Spreading my legs, he gets on top of me, crushing me under his weight. Dry humping me, he starts sucking on my neck. Actions of a deranged man and it reeks of desperation.

I close my mouth and face away. My blood running cold, body shaking with rising anger. "Logan, stop."

He halts his movement immediately. "That's what I thought." He gets off me and he straightens himself. When I look at him, I see hurt in his eyes.

I swallow and get off the bed.

"Look, I'm sorry but I am telling the truth, I didn't cheat. You can ask Arch yourself."

He stares at me for a long time. "You don't understand how much I love you, do you?"

My lips part. "Uh…"

"And I probably am a fool for still being here. All my friends think you are making a fool out of me, but…" He steps closer and takes my hands. "I don't care. I love you so much, Summer and I just…I want this. Just prove your loyalty to me and stop going to them. I forgive you for what you've done."

His eyes glaze with pain, and desperation. He is begging me to stop something I haven't done. Is he insane or am I the one who's crazy?

I stare at him dumbfounded. He really thinks I'm cheating and there is nothing that will make him believe otherwise. I can't do anything but stare at him open mouthed, like an idiot. When I don't have an answer, he lets go of my hand and leaves me standing there confused out of my mind.

I'm left puzzled and with so many emotions the rest of the day. He doesn't reach out and the weekend passes. Giving me time to think over everything.

Logan is crazy.

I am a piece of shit.

Maybe I should just break up with him.

He's crazy if he thinks I'm running to him first.

Is Arch okay?

Leaving the library late on Monday, I don't feel like going to my dorm. It's become a toxic place where I feel like I'm being watched, and I don't need that right now. Hazel and I haven't talked since I took my key back from her and gave her a few choice words. She tried to apologize but I am still mad as shit. Fucking girl code, it's that simple.

I find myself at Archer's again. Logan is being a lunatic. How could he accuse me of cheating? Me?

But I'll give us space for a few days and then check on him. I'm sure we'll be fine by next week's big Halloween party at their house. It's the party of the semester, a costume party, and we're going as Batman and Catwoman.

Opening the door, I walk in. The others aren't here, Arch said they are on an errand somewhere in the city. He smiles when I find him at the couch, watching TV.

"You look so lonely. Why aren't you with the others?" I ask.

He shrugs. "I wasn't interested in what they were doing. I'd rather watch Love Island."

I chuckle. "What are they doing?"

He stiffens and my face falls. Other girls.

He looks away.

"It's okay, Arch. They don't belong to me anymore. They can date." Damn that was hard.

"But they do." He looks at me.

Breaking our eye contact, I sit straight and look at the TV. We watch in silence before he gets up.

"Want anything to drink, eat?"

"I'll have whatever you're having." I don't look his way.

"Avocado and bacon sandwiches it is then."

We eat in mostly silence and when we are finished, he collects our plates and comes sit next to me again.

"So, you want to talk about it yet?" he asks.

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever is bothering you. You are upset."

I look at him thinking I'm going to lie but his eyes break me, and I have to look away when the tears burn hot behind my eyes.

He is closer the next second, placing a hand on my cheek. "Talk to me, Peach. What's wrong? Did you and Logan fight?" There isn't any glee in his voice, just concern. Good ole platonic friendly concern,

I lean into him, and he holds me. "Yeah. We fought and he accused me of cheating on him."

"When you told him you didn't what did he say?"

"He didn't believe me. He even said he forgives me for doing it." My simmering anger comes back full force, but instead of wanting to lash out I just want to cry in Arch's arms.

"Oh, Peach. I'm so sorry."

I sniffle and he stays there comforting me until I calm down. He eventually leads me to the bathroom where I wash my face and end up taking a shower.

I find him ready with my sleep clothes and I can't help the smile. This all seems very domestic.

"Share," he says.

"I'm just thinking about how this all seems relationshipy."

He smiles. "Well, I can assure you I only have platonic intentions for you, ma'am."

I chuckle as he goes to bath and I change and get in bed. It hurts when I check my phone and find nothing from Logan. So, I decide to be the bigger person.

Hey.

I stare at the phone, and nothing happens. He reads my message after about five minutes, but doesn't respond or show he's typing.

So, you are really ignoring me?

Still no answer, just a 'read.'

Well, that is that, I guess. I reached out. I'll have to wait him out, I guess. I take Arch's tablet and scroll through to see what new things he has.

When he comes back, he has a towel wrapped around his waist and my lips part as everything else in the world fades. Fuck. I haven't seen that body in a minute. I knew he was still fine under all that, but still.

He just goes on like he doesn't see anything wrong in what he's doing. He goes to his closet and his muscles flex as he opens the closet and bends to pick up clothes. Curling my toes, I try to get rid of my wayward thoughts and come back to sanity because something is definitely getting excited down south. But I can't do that.

Just friends.

He is just my friend. We are just friends. Totally platonic. Yes.

I choose to lie down and get under the covers to cover my face. Not today, Satan.

The bed dips, he removes the cover on my face, and smiles down at me.

"Are you alright?"

I roll my eyes. He knows exactly what he was doing, this harlot.

"Just lay down so I can sleep, man."

He chuckles.

"Lights." I remind him.

"Oh, fuck."

"Get your head in the game, Deltona."

His eyes flash with desire, but he moves quickly. He switches off the lights, jumps back in the bed, and lays on his back. I scoot close and lay on his chest. We don't say more and his breath evens after a few minutes. It's getting easier and easier for him to fall asleep again and I am glad I can make a difference. But I stay up a little longer contemplating my life.

What am I even doing? This thing with Logan, where is it going?

Can I be honest with myself and say I have gotten over them?

I fall asleep with those thoughts ruling my brain.

But when sleep slips from me I find Arch looking at me, our bodies touching everywhere. Our legs are intertwined, and our faces are so close. Holding me like he used to, and I am holding on to him like I used to.

It feels like it's been forever now, but the memories are still fresh. How he'd make me feel. How I'd make him feel. The piggyback rides on his family's estate when we'd venture to the cliff overlooking the vast sea. Sometimes we'd go out there for picnics at night and look at the stars.

I was always shit with constellations, but he'd tell me all about them. I was in love with all of them, but Arch was my emotional safety, he always got my emotional side and honored everything I felt.

As I stare at him, and he stares at me I can't help but lock my brain and decide to abandon the whole world and live in this moment.

Everything flies out the window when I lean in and kiss him.

The kiss is slow, I just want to feel him again, maybe I want to know if he still feels the same, taste the same. If we are any different. He reciprocates my kiss, and my body responds to him like he last touched me yesterday.

All my need for him comes to me and I don't fight it this time. The darkness of the night gives the illusion that no one sees, and no one will know. What happens in the night stays buried in the darkness.

That is my logic as his hand travels to my neck, and all too soon, he pulls away.

I lean into him. Desperate. I am desperate. I can barely keep my eyes open or the lust at bay. I don't stop touching him, rubbing myself on him. He feels so good. Too good.

"Peach?" he whispers. Like he knows if he speaks any louder our spell might be broken.

"Yes?" I whisper back, kissing his collarbone.

"Peach, are you sure you want this?"

"Archer, please stop talking. Please just…give me this."