11. DONKEY KONG

11

DONKEY KONG

Summer

Well, this night has definitely been much. No, a shit show is more like it. With the awkwardness of the party and how Harvey told everyone I was theirs, to Logan not giving me any room to breathe. And who could forget Harvey and Trevor's word exchange, the fucking brawl, and my personal favorite fuck up of the night.

Kissing Logan.

I didn't mean to but he was upset, and I didn't know what to do. It was impulse and I may have sent the really wrong signal if his smile was any indication.

Why am I so stupid?

In my defense, it's not me, it's them. They make me crazy. They make me act irrationally. That fucking cringe pissing contest. They could have walked away; they could have just fucking walked away.

I'm too riled up to chill. It's past midnight but I need a cold shower. Need to settle my insides. I don't even understand why I have so much adrenaline pumping through me.

The Logan thing was a real dick move. And now I have to tell him it isn't what he thinks it is. If I don't, I'll only be stringing him along.

Should I text him and explain myself? We barely said anything when he drove me home and I basically ran when he stopped outside.

I brush my teeth before jumping in the shower. The cold water helps nothing really, but it's a welcome temporary relief. When I step out, I dry myself and get ready for bed. At least if I can sleep, maybe I'll be able to think better tomorrow.

Settling in, I lay on my back, trying to breathe myself calm and close my eyes.

The night comes back to me, playing like a movie. Going to the party, arriving at the party and Logan not letting me out of his sight. Making sure everybody saw I was with him, holding my hand, then Trevor and Gabby with their big mouths and the big dummies rising to the occasion.

Harvey defended me when those assholes were getting judgy. The little things Logan was doing all night to 'claim' me. Whispering to me, brushing my hand. And I just sat there for all of it.

I don't know when I became so docile. Maybe my wish to hurt them is going to push me to doing even more things I don't plan to, like the kiss. Cause I mean, what's next?

Why can't they just leave me alone? Why can't they just let it go? Why do they have to make things so difficult? I'm just trying to focus on school. Why can't they just disappear and find another school so I don't have to see them and be reminded of everything we shared?

Why can't I stop loving them?

I get fucked up every time I see them; it's fucking pathetic. When Jaden winked at me, I remembered how his touch felt, how he used to kiss my face till I fell asleep, how he flirted with me all the time, those little stolen moments between me and him.

Why can't I just forget? Why is moving on so hard?

When it is clear I can't sleep, I find myself getting up. I change to sweats, take my phone, and leave. Crossing campus like a tornado, I pass drunk students and those doing all sorts of debauchery. The night is still very much young for most.

Parties are still going on in many houses when I make to them.

I inhale once when I get to the door. I try opening the door, but it's locked. Fury fills me when I hear something like a girl giggling.

BANG BANG BANG.

The door opens and Caleb's face twists in a frown when he sees me.

"Are you okay?"

"Move." I walk past him. I find Jaden and Harvey in the living room with a few other guys drinking and smoking and watching a football game.

All eyes turn to me, and I regret a little why I thought coming here was a great idea and why I'm looking like a frump. All the girls are still dolled up.

I feel unsure suddenly.

"I need to talk to you," I say. "Hi." I wave at everyone else.

Harvey and Jaden look pissed. At me.

"Come this way," Caleb says behind me and I follow him upstairs, the rest of the guys following behind me.

He pushes one of the doors and turns on the light. My heart almost stops when I find Archer sitting in the dark alone. It tugs at my heart.

"Archer, you okay?"

His face snaps to me and it's like he just snapped out of wherever he was.

"You're here?" he asks hesitantly, and he looks at the others. The door closes behind me and I jump a little.

"This is not a social visit," I say. I need to be strong.

"Then why are you here, Summer?" Jaden stands before me, looking down at me. He is furious. Too furious. He must have seen me kiss Logan.

Well, fuck. But I straighten. I am single and I don't owe him any loyalty. As far as I know, I can kiss who I want.

"This thing has to stop. I can't keep having these weird run ins with you when I'm with…"

"Logan?" Caleb fills in for me on the bed next to Archer.

"Yes," I answer.

"Are you fucking him?" Harvey asks, I can hear the malice behind his question as he stands next to Jaden. I swallow and look away from them.

"If I was, it would be none of your business."

The air gets dense. This is not how I planned this to go. I was here to yell at them to leave me alone and stop their shit and their games. Not be in the middle of a third degree with them.

"I swear to God, if I find out you're fucking him Summer…" Harvey's threat comes through with all the violent promise in the world. A violence I know he is very capable of.

"You'll what? You'll beat him up? I am not yours anymore. How much must I say that shit for you assholes to get it through your thick skulls?"

"But Summer, you never even gave us a chance to explain." Archer gets off the bed. I can hear the desperation simmering in his words.

"Because there is nothing you can say that can make what I saw a lie. You can't unfuck that girl. I don't want to hear your shit."

I must soldier on.

"Maybe if you did—"

"Maybe nothing, Jaden. I don't want to hear it," I pause, taking a breath. "I am here because I am tired. Leave me alone. Move on, I am." I turn to leave, and a hand grabs me.

"You know you are being really unfair, especially to them, they did nothing to you," Harvey says.

"I wouldn't call lying to me nothing, Harvey. Now leave me alone."

A second hand grabs me. "Tell us honestly, do you mean it when you say we should move on? Are you sure?" Jaden asks.

"Fuck playboy bunnies if you want, it's done." I pull my hand from them. My phone chimes in my pocket and I pull it out.

I frown at the message.

I can't get your lips out of my mind.

Before it registers what's happening, my phone gets snatched out of my hand and by the time I turn, it is connecting with a wall, shattering like cheap glass.

"What the fu—"

Harvey turns to me with a murderous look on his face, his breathing heavy as Jaden holds him.

"Summer, you are not fucking that guy, you hear me?"

All of them are standing between us.

"You should leave, Bumble." There's a strain in Caleb's voice.

I know we broke up before, but this feels like the breakup. I open my mouth to say something, but I look at all of them and swallow. They look hurt, devastated. I feel bad, I want to apologize.

"We'll send you a replacement tomorrow," Jaden says.

"Harvey, calm the fuck down," Archer says looking over his shoulder.

"D, if you fuck him, I will kill him. I'll fucking kill him, and I'll make you watch."

"Harvey…" Jaden reprimands.

"You should leave," Caleb says with a hard face.

But I step forward, faking all the courage I don't feel as I tremble.

"I won't be threatened by you. I will fuck this entire college if I want to and there isn't a damn thing you will do about it." I turn on my heel and open the door.

With my heart galloping in my chest, I rush down the stairs, open the door, and run.

It was foolish to provoke Harvey, but I won't be intimidated by him or his antics. I will fucking date if I want to.

Fuck.

By the time I get to my dorm I am resolved. And it's on like fucking Donkey Kong. He thinks he can fucking break my heart then tell me what to do.

Fuck, I would be sending Logan a text now if the asshole didn't break my phone.

The next few weeks I do just as I planned. Logan and I take it slow, going on a few dates. I told him I'm not ready for anything too intimate.

They keep to what I said, and move on. I see them with different girls.

We run into each other at parties or on campus, but it‘s been established that we don't mix. We don't talk to each other.

Logan has made sure to keep me away from them and Logan's friends don't bring them up when I'm around.

It hurts when I see them with those girls, but it is what it is.