9. STILL BUTTERFLIES

9

STILL BUTTERFLIES

Summer

I pace in my room when staring at the screen with the coursework for next week proves fruitless. All I can think about is the taco place. Them with those girls, Harvey dragging that girl out to probably do whatever with her.

I know I said I'm single and they should move on, but I wasn't prepared for how much it would hurt when they did. I am not planning on taking them back, but I don't want to see them with other girls either.

I can't help but blame myself a little for it. They're little possessive psychos, and it wasn't going to be received well seeing me laughing with another guy but…

I sigh inwardly. I don't even know.

I was so angry as Logan drove me back to my dorm, I jumped out without even saying goodbye.

I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts and Logan wanted to talk. He asked to walk me to my room, and I ended up saying yes. Then let him in for a drink.

He didn't bother me with questions and was actually sweet with it. Just tried to cheer me up by asking about the pictures with my family and asking me about my Insta pictures of our trip in Italy and he laughed when I told him about my grandmother.

I felt better and forgot about them for an hour. Till he left for football practice.

But now I'm worried about what he thinks this is. He has stated his intentions and it's clear he really does mean it when he says he wants to go on a date, but I don't know how much I can give him. And he doesn't even seem to mind. Fuck, I'm really confused.

But maybe I don't have to overthink this, maybe we can be friends and he can help me get over them little by little.

Taking my phone from my bed, I shoot him a text.

Thanks for earlier.

I don't know why I'm a little nervous. It's not like I'm sending him mixed signals or anything, right? I'm just saying thanks. He understands what this is, and that it isn't romantic. We are just friends. Friends text each other.

Right?

He probably won't see it anyway. If they are finished with practice maybe he is busy. He's a pretty popular guy. Which is something I am not particularly fond of.

When you attract the attention of the guy many girls and guys want, you tend to attract many unwanted attentions from those who hope you fall from ‘grace' and ‘favor.' It's a toxic social cycle. Why I fucking hate hierarchies and organized movements. Sororities, societies, movements, they can all miss me.

A knock on my door ends my roaming thoughts and I go to open it. "You troublemaker," Hazel greets me.

"What did I do?"

She throws her bag on my bed before going to the fridge.

"Seems like you are in the middle of a new feud on campus. Everybody is talking about it," she says excitedly.

"Huh?"

"Your new beau and your old beaus," she says cryptically,. Everybody and I'm so annoyed, I want her to spit it out.

"What happened?"

"Ooh, what didn't happen?"

Worry coupled with annoyance claws at my insides. I seriously want to shake her right now for dancing around what she wants to say, but at the same time, I'm worried about what she might say.

"Hazel," I say, voice hard.

"Football practice was apparently very intense this evening and it seems the freshmen and seniors are butting heads, and you are in the middle of it all."

"I don't understand anything you are saying."

"Oh my god, Su. Don't be dense. There is beef."

"Because of me?" It's hard to believe. I understand my exes starting beef, but I didn't figure Logan for the aggressive type. Maybe I don't know him.

Or it's those idiots who confronted Logan. And knowing them that's very possible. And with the little they can lose they are completely capable of doing it.

Harvey's family is one of the school's biggest donors so he's definitely not worried about much, and the guys by extension. But does Logan and the others know that? It really isn't something Harvey or we talk much about.

"Yes, silly. Ugh, you know I knew I was drawn to you for some reason. You are bringing all the excitement I need in my life."

Rolling my eyes, I say, "How did you even know what happened in practice. Did you go?"

"No, but I called Trevor after and when I asked him how everything went, he sorta alluded to a possible confrontation. When I dug deeper into my other sources, Gabby, her boyfriend was there, and she told me."

This is not how I wanted my college life to start. I don't want this drama. This is already too much. I sigh tiredly.

My phone beeps and I look at the incoming text.

Anything, Su.

So, I know you are busy this week, but want u to be my plus one this Friday at the party?

Whoa. Party.

I was thinking about going but now that he is having confrontations with the guys, is it something I want to do?

I decide on honesty.

I don't know, Logan. I heard about what happened this afternoon at practice. I don't like drama.

Three bubbles appear as he types a few times then stops, then types again. Either it's going to be long as hell or he doesn't know what to say.

"Is that one of them or Logan?"

I jump, forgetting Hazel was here. She has a soda in her hand and nosiness in her eyes as she tries to peep at the screen.

That doesn't have to affect our friendship, Su.

Friendship, huh? I could say much about the guy but dense probably isn't one of them. He seems to understand I don't want anything more serious.

"Logan seems to be really into you," Hazel says, clearly excited, probably more than me. And clearly with an agenda. She's picked her side even though I haven't. Not really.

This thing with Logan doesn't excite me as much as I hoped it would. I like him and I could see myself probably getting close to him but…

"Ugh, I don't know, Hazel," I say honestly, sitting on the chair and she takes the bed.

"Are you still hoping to get back together with them?" She looks at me intently, like she's trying to dissect my thoughts.

"What? No, of course not," I answer way too quickly, my voice a bit higher pitched than I would have liked. I hope she doesn't take that to mean something it doesn't.

"Then what's the real problem with you giving this harmless ‘date' a go? Logan seems nice and…"

"And you will be happy if we dated friends and the best athletes in school?"

"Soooo much," she answers with forward enthusiasm, and I laugh.

"Don't call your tailor just yet, missy."

She turns serious. "Look, Su. I'm not pushing you on the guy, but there really isn't a reason to not even give him a chance to show you a good time. You need a distraction from them. And Logan is available, and he seems great. Just…give it a try. Just as friends."

"Fine. I will."

"Yay!" she squeals.

I shake my head as I fire up the chat.

It's a friend date on Friday!

Tight!

I smile. Maybe this is exactly what I need.

The rest of the night goes well. Hazel and I order in before we get back to our schedules.

The week goes by fast. None of the guys bother me or try to talk. They basically let me be. I don't see Logan either. We text a few times but it's really just chill friend vibes, which I appreciate.

I've been getting a few second looks from a few students, it's not intense like high school but some people have been noticing me more. I guess being in the middle of a football guy's 'beef' will get you known pretty quickly.

Hazel and Trevor are moving at lightning speed. She hasn't divulged the details of their rendezvous, but she came back really late on Wednesday.

I didn't probe her too much, but I'm still waiting for her to spill. All she's said was they didn't sleep together.

I feel like such a prude, a word I never thought I'd associate with myself.

Friday arrives sooner than I would have liked. The party has been the talk of campus. Apparently it's one of the biggest all semester and is a bit of tradition on campus.

Hazel walks in with a towel wrapped around her waist, finding me in my robe too. Night has fallen and we are getting ready to be picked up for the party.

She insisted we put a little extra effort since we will be with the stars of BU and I succumbed to peer pressure yet again. I swear no one has had so much influence on me more than this girl. She just knows how to make me do things.

"I need help with my ponytail, dude. It's not coming together," she says, slight panic in her voice.

"I like the wet look. Don't you want to leave it down?"

"No, I want my Asian features to pop. I'm trying to shut down all these hoes, Su. It's a jungle out there."

I cackle, how could I not?

"That is intense, Haze."

"Well, competition is tight and in case you haven't noticed, I always must win." She plops on my chair, and I get behind her.

The mirror in front of us helps as we wrestle getting her ponytail perfect without a hair out of place on the laid part, beautifully flowing with wet-ish curls on the loose part and a few loose hairs around her face for the vibe. And I must admit, she looks like a Tamil goddess. No doubt no one will hold a candle to her beauty tonight.

"I bet even cousin Prisha would be jealous if she saw you right now," I comment and she smirks.

"You know how to tickle my heart, Su."

A knock disturbs us and I go to get it. When I peep, I find Trevor and Logan at the door.

"Hey, guys," I say, but don't open the door fully because I'm still in my robe. "You guys are early."

"So, it would seem. I knew we should have texted. We can come back. Hello, and you look beautiful by the way." Logan speaks and I smile.

"Hey, Summer. Haze is there, right?"

"Yeah," she answers for herself.

"Um…" I want to look for a polite way to tell them to wait in the common area.

"You can wait in my room," Hazel says.

"Yeah, cool." Trevor grins and Logan winks at me before they turn and go.

No butterflies.

But that's okay. It's good. I don't mean to be more. Just friends. Friends don't have butterflies for each other. It's fine.

I get back to getting ready. Hazel and I get dressed and when we are ready, we get the guys and leave. We pile into Logan's Jeep and drive the three minutes to their house finding it packed when we arrive.

It's even fuller than the last time. The whole street is full of cars. Logan parks on their driveway.

A few people turn their heads when climb out. We greet a few people and are introduced to a lot more. I think we spend half an hour outside before we even walk in.

I feel a little unsettled. I hope the guys didn't come and I hope there won't be any trouble.