10. Frederick

Chapter 10

Frederick

I felt yucky for most of the day, but by the time Saber pushed away from his desk to leave, I was almost human again.

He was looking at me when I looked at him. “Is there anything else you need before I head out?”

It was after five, and we had gotten quite a bit done. I hadn’t given much thought to everything Nate had suggested, but that was because every time I tried to bring up the conversation from the night before in my mind, I thought about all the other stuff that was said and done.

Including the fact that Saber, my employee, undressed me and tucked me into bed.

If he mentioned that to his uncle, I’d surely be fired. But I didn’t think he’d do that.

Over the next few days, we powered through the punch list and added several new features I didn’t expect to get to for months. Saber had a way of focusing me so we were both more productive, and I didn’t feel any of the stress I usually had.

Even though I still had two open positions to fill, I wasn’t in any hurry to expand my department.

Saber and I were a solid team, and if Nate was hired, we’d definitely be able to turn BillForce around. If Ralph and the rest of the board didn’t agree, I had some ideas for that too. But that was for future me to deal with. Present me was having more fun at work than I ever had before.

Saber brought a joy to my life that I couldn’t remember feeling since I was a young child. He joked around with me like I was one of the guys, and we had lunch together every day. It was unlike any relationship I’d had as an adult. In just a few days, we had a real friendship.

The only bad thing was that my attraction to Saber was intensifying. I couldn’t stop thinking about him—whether we were together or not. I didn’t really understand what was happening, but I was pretty sure it was a crush. At least, my understanding of what a crush was. When I was younger, I would have thought Saber was a person I wanted to date. But now, my feelings were deeper than that. I wanted to spend every second with him, and that was scary.

And exciting.

Unfortunately, my erections weren’t going away, but I was getting better at ignoring them. At least until I got home and turned on the videos of men suckling milk from other men. There was one actor who looked similar to Saber, and every time I saw him, my orgasms came quickly. That was helpful to get to sleep at night, but I’d been waking up with semen in my underwear from the dreams that filled my nights.

Part of me wanted to talk to Saber about what I could do about it, but that wasn’t a conversation that was appropriate for a manager to have with an employee. But from day one, our relationship hadn’t been normal. I was grateful for that, but I was starting to need more.

On Friday afternoon, I started to get antsy. I couldn’t focus on my work, and my emotions were right on the surface. Every time I glanced at Saber, I wasn’t sure if I should smile or cry or run to the bathroom to deal with my erection.

And somehow, he knew exactly what I needed.

“Frederick.”

I startled when I heard his deep voice from across the room. I’d been doodling and shaking my leg like it was covered with ants. “Yes.”

“What’s wrong?” He closed his laptop and looked at me without standing up. “And I hope you’ll be honest with me.”

“Oh.” I closed my laptop too, unsure how to respond. I wanted to be honest, but I didn’t know what to say. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I just feel weird. Anxious or something. I’m sorry if I’m distracting you.” I glanced at my watch. “It’s almost five. We can head out early. We’ve gotten a month’s worth of work done this week. We’ve earned it.”

He nodded but stayed silent, keeping his eyes on me.

“Is there something else?”

He shrugged. “No, just waiting for a real answer to my question. Something is bothering you, and I’m wondering if it’s something I can help with. I think it might be, but I need you to use your words.”

“Use my words?” I swallowed hard and crossed my arms over my chest, not sure if I should be offended by that. I wasn’t a child. But on the other hand, I kinda appreciated that he was giving me space to express myself. “I’m not sure I have them right now. I think I want stuff, but I don’t exactly know what.” I took a deep breath and looked right at him. “And I don’t think any of it is okay to want from a subordinate.”

His lips pulled into a grin. “Okay, that’s good.” He stood up and slowly saunted to my desk. At least, I thought that slow walk with his eyes locked on mine was called sauntering. It was hard to think when he looked at me like that. “And if you’d like to explore this a little more, I’d love to have dinner with you tonight. Maybe I can pick up something and we can watch a movie at your house.”

I was nodding before he stopped right beside me, sitting on the edge of my desk. “Yes, please.”

“Then let’s get out of here. You head home and put on some comfy clothes. Pajamas or whatever you want to wear for a movie night. I’ll pick up dinner. What are you in the mood for?”

I shrugged. “Can you decide?”

He smiled and placed his hand on mine. “I was thinking of either broccoli chicken mac and cheese from Noodle Zone or pizza. Do you have a preference?”

“Pizza sounds good. I like cheese.” My knee stopped shaking, and I already felt so much better. How did his mere presence do that to me?

“Me too, Freddy.” He gave my hand a squeeze and stood up. “I’m going to walk you to your car to make sure you get out of here. So please wrap up everything and be ready in five.”

“Okay.” I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had given me instructions like that. Again, a small part of me was annoyed because I was the boss and he was the employee, but a much bigger part felt special and important to Saber. Like he cared enough to tell me what to do, and that was something I didn’t realize I needed.

After quickly shutting down my computer and gathering my stuff, Saber walked me out to my car. We kept a reasonable amount of space between us for the surveillance cameras, but once I got inside and rolled down the window, Saber leaned in and let his hand linger on my shoulder as he reminded me to get changed into comfortable clothes and think about what movie I wanted to watch.

I went straight home and did what he asked. Everything except picking a movie. I didn’t know what he would like, and I wasn’t good at picking, so I decided to let Saber choose. He was good at choosing, and knowing that Saber would handle it brought me a great deal of comfort.

Sometimes, it was better to let someone else do the thinking and deciding.