1. Saber

Chapter 1

Saber

Neil picked up a peanut from the bowl between us and tossed it in the air, catching it in his mouth. As he chewed it, he picked up another one then threw it at me.

Obviously, I caught it too. “So, you’re seriously moving?”

He sighed. “Yeah, and you better come visit me. They’re putting me in corporate housing for six months, so I’ll have a nice place for at least that long. After that, who knows? Either I’ll have blown all my cash on dick and booze or I’ll buy a place.”

Neil was big on shock factor, so I knew he was joking around about blowing it all. “You’ll just buy a place?” I laughed at his simplistic view of the world. “How much are they paying you?”

“A lot. Two hundo.” He waggled his eyebrows and rubbed his palms together. “So yeah, I’ll probably buy. Even if just for an investment.”

“Nice.” I considered my job prospects. I’d received a few offers since graduating cum laude from the University of Utah, Salt Lake City. Though, the appropriate designation should have been cum lotta since that was really where I focused my studies. But nothing interesting had presented itself just yet.

As one of just a few men on campus who could lactate—and the founding member of the university chapter of The Lactin Brotherhood—I was popular. As in, someone on my chest every night and a warm hole to keep my balls empty on the regular. But popularity and my status as hottest guy on campus wasn’t gonna pay the bills. My mom did a great job of reminding me about that. A family trust set up a million years ago ensured my education was covered, but now that I’d graduated, I was on my own. And I didn’t have a huge savings to fall back on.

Finding a good job was crucial.

I just had to figure out how to balance my financial priorities with having a life. I refused to be one of those engineers who spent 24/7 behind a computer and never saw my friends again. Even though my best friend was moving hundreds of miles away, I was still used to a certain level of entertainment in my life and wasn’t willing to compromise on that.

Neil stared at me with an exasperated expression, waiting for me to reveal my big plan, as if there was one.

“I’m glad that worked out for you. For now, I’m keeping my options open. I’ll probably take a month or two off to think about what kind of job I want in the fall and then really push hard.

He laughed and shook his head. “You know, people always joke about you being dumb and pretty, and I’m starting to understand why they say that.”

I scoffed. “What the fuck, man? I’m not dumb.” The pretty part was true. I couldn’t deny that.

“Ya kinda are. Why would you wait until every other college grad in the country takes every good job before you even start looking? I know you’ve got offers now, so take one and keep looking. The job you take today doesn’t have to be forever. It just has to start filling your résumé and your bank account.” He threw another nut at me, but this time, he aimed for the center of my forehead. It was a good thing I caught it before it made contact because it would have left a mark. “Everyone else we graduated with is starting somewhere decent. Some even have awesome jobs lined up. But no one is sitting around waiting but you.”

I rolled my eyes and wanted to say something else to prove that I wasn’t making a bad move, but I held my tongue. He was making some pretty good points. “I mean, there’s one job I could do as a short-term gig. It’s good money, and easy work. It’ll just be boring as fuck.”

Neil threw his arms up. “Take it. What are you waiting for? Get picky later. For now, get that coin.”

Maybe working for Uncle Ralph wouldn’t be so bad. Neil was right about how nice a fat paycheck would be in the short term. “Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

As I walked back to my apartment, I texted my uncle. He’d been pushing me to go work at his software company since I started college, and I really had no reason not to at this point. Hey Unc. Can we talk more about the job? Mom says you need help now and I’m ready to start working.

His responding text shocked me as much as it pissed me off. Your mom already said you wanted it. I’ll talk to HR about getting you started asap. How does Monday sound?

What the fuck, Mom! She was always doing shit like that. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I actually did want the job, and the sooner I got started, the sooner I’d get paid. Yeah, that’s fine but no rush on my end. I sent the text and then remembered I still needed to be polite about the whole thing, so I sent another one right behind it. Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity.

He must have been voice typing because he responded with a novel that had perfect punctuation and everything. Boomers. Great. We’ve got a few products that are hiring, but where I need the most help is with an old app that’s sunsetting soon. We just need to fix some bugs so our customers will be fine for a while until they buy something else. Anyway, I think you could help with that transition and maybe set yourself up for a team lead position on one of the flagship products. Just need to get you in the door first.

I guess that didn’t sound so bad. I hated that my mom had committed me without even telling me, but I’d been somewhat noncommittal in my last conversation with her. Either way, at least I didn’t have to think about it anymore. I could have an easy summer with a low-pressure job and decide where in my uncle’s company I wanted to go next…or if I wanted to try something else completely.

It felt great to have options.