Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Dexter

M y heart was in my mouth. I had finally put all my cards on the table, and waiting for her response was the longest ten seconds of my life. I had sweaty palms, I could hear my pulse in my ears, and my mouth was drier than the Sahara.

Effie's head tilted to the side as she regarded me with wide eyes. It looked like she was scanning my features, looking for any sign that I wasn't being completely honest with her. I took her hand in mine, sweat be damned, and pulled it to my chest so she had to move closer. When she closed her eyes, I feared the worst. My heart sank into my stomach and my throat clogged up. I shut my eyes, too, until I felt her lean forward and her gentle breaths tickled my lips. Our eyes met and her baby blues shone with determination. She was so beautiful. With her wide doe eyes, high cheekbones and full lips, she was breathtaking, and it made my brain short circuit. I didn't get the chance to initiate it; by the time my brain had begun working properly again, her lips were already on mine.

She was kissing me. I'd told her I loved her, and she was kissing me. The relief was intense. My whole body unclenched, reassured that I hadn't terrified her. Her kiss was soft, and soothing. She tasted like cherry lip balm and when she pulled away it was all too soon. She touched her lips with her fingertips and giggled.

"What's funny?" I still wasn't breathing right but I managed to get the words out.

"I've thought about doing that so many times." Her cheeks flushed and she dropped her gaze. "I never imagined it would feel that nice."

"You've imagined kissing me?"

"So much. I…" She trailed off and looked down again, focusing on my hands. "I love you, so I think about it a lot."

I lifted her chin with my knuckles, forcing her to look at me. Shyness radiated off her, but there was a sparkle in her eyes that hadn't been there before, like a cloud had been lifted off her. I needed to taste her lips again. Her touch would ground me and satisfy that insecure part of me that was still not convinced that Effie could ever love me back. I used the hand that was already on her face and pulled her to me. This time I was prepared. I knew what was coming, yet it still blew my mind. My lips were tingling, her touch setting off fireworks inside my chest. I shuffled, allowing the overwhelming urge to hold her to take over and dragging her into my arms. I couldn't get her close enough. Holding her now felt so different to holding her two days ago on my sofa. I thought we'd had a friendship with no boundaries but this—this was intimacy in its purest form. I finally felt truly connected to her, in a way I'd had no idea was possible.

Wren's bark jolted us back into the real world and I laughed, pressing a kiss to Effie's head. "Lay down with me?"

She pulled me down and rested her head on my chest. Wren curled up in between our legs, making us lie in an awkward V shape but I didn't care. If Effie was comfy like this, using me as a cushion while curling around my dog, then I wasn't about to move.

"I'm sorry I shut you out," she said into my chest. "I panicked, and-"

"I understand. I just wish you'd let me explain. What my mum said, it wasn't what you thought. She was overstepping completely, and I told her that, but it's nothing she has against you. She loves you. She's as worried about you getting hurt as she is about me."

"Is she still against us?"

I chewed my bottom lip. I didn't have an answer for that that she would like.

"I don't know. I hope not, but even if she is it doesn't matter. I'll be going to university soon, and we can get our own place. Wren will come with us and we'll get another puppy and it'll be perfect."

"Dex, you don't know that it'll be perfect. I love you, I do, but I'm scared."

"Why?"

"If things don't work out with us I could lose you completely."

"No, you couldn't. I love you more than anything else in the world. I've spent so long pining after you, I could never do anything to hurt you or lose you." A knot was forming in my stomach just at the thought of not having her in my life. It wasn't a future I could conceive of. "Please don't overthink this, Effie. I know you're anxious about this but I am so confident that this is the right thing for us. Let me have faith for the both of us." I tried to relax my grip on her, as if I could convince her with my body language that I was fine when in reality I was in the most stressful situation of my life. A minute ago we'd been talking about how much we loved each other and now she was talking herself out of it. It couldn't be happening. I wouldn't let it happen. "Effie, when have I ever let you down?" I could see her thinking about it but I knew the answer.

"You haven't. Like, not ever."

"Exactly, and I'm not about to start now. I know it's scary, but it is going to work."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

I pushed her back into the mattress and settled above her, kissing her. I loved her, and she loved me, and that would always be the case. I would always make sure she knew just how special she was to me.