Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Romeo

I watch her walk away down towards the barns where the horses are. I know I was out of order, but I couldn't help myself. I have seen her before. I've seen my aunt talking to her, and the rest of the girls here.

The first time I came I messaged my old friends the same night telling them about being dragged here and that the place was filled with girls. They laughed and joked about me going through them all in a few months. I laughed right along with them because honestly, if I was at home, I probably would have, but now things were different. My mum's death has changed me, but also it would be disrespectful to my aunt to play around like that.

The only one I have ever really spoken to is Emma. She is here more than the others, but she is too young for me to look at that way. She is sweet, but she is only fourteen. I like that she just accepts me being around without demanding more. She is away on holiday this week with her family. We only really say hi and bye, but when you are away from your friends and people your own age, even those small gestures take on more meaning.

I wish she was here now so I could ask her who this girl is. I can't ask my aunt, she would read way too much into it. I have no intention of dating anyone, but I can't ignore that feeling I got when her hand brushed against me. Damn, it was some weird shit. It was like when you go shopping and get a shock off the trolley. That happened a lot when my mum was ill. I did most of the shopping when she was too tired from her treatments to go.

In September I start college here, but it is still four months away. I did my exams there thanks to my aunt arranging it. I wanted to go back home and do that at my old school, but she said it would be too complicated because I didn't live there anymore. The house has been sold, so there would have been nowhere to stay either. At first, I had lost my temper and shouted at her, but when I tried talking to my friends, they weren't that bothered about seeing me. Or that's how it feels to me.

I want to talk to someone about this girl but for the first time I feel really lost, I can't ask my aunt, my friends would just make fun of it then talk about some party I wasn't at and the only person here I could at least ask questions about her is on holiday. If my mum was here, I could talk to her. She would have listened, she wouldn't have judged me or told me what to do, she just let me talk. I miss her.

I am just debating following her to watch her from a distance when my aunt comes into sight sat on her horse.

I hold my hands up and admit these creatures terrified me the first time I came here, but I am learning that they can be sweet. Diamond is what my aunt calls a dappled grey. I think she is huge, but my aunt says she is only sixteen hands. I haven't worked out what a hand is yet and no way am I asking and making myself look stupid.

"Romeo, where for art thou Romeo?"

My aunt does this quite often. She thinks it is funny, especially as I was named after someone my mum went to school with, not the famous character. I sometimes wonder about it. How did my dad feel about me being named after another guy? Was that why he found it so easy to walk away and leave me?

"Am over here." If I don't reply, she will only keep calling me.

"Come on out and come down to the arena. You never know you might actually enjoy yourself if you put that phone down and look around you instead. Although if you want to do something useful with it, you could take some videos for me."

"What?"

"Videos, you know use the camera on it. Sometimes it's helpful to watch yourself back so you can see your mistakes and where you can improve."

"Okay fine."

"Good boy."

I roll my eyes as she makes it sound like I am a dog, and yet I find myself walking along next to the horse like I am at heel. My aunt keeps suggesting I get on her horse and give riding a go, but first, I have seen what blokes look like in those weird trousers they wear, and no way am I looking like that. Secondly, I have no intention of letting it send me flying and going to the hospital with broken bones. I saw a YouTube video about when horses go mad and nope, not doing that. But thirdly there is no way I am having lessons and having to start in a group with a load of little kids where I sit on some dinky my little pony and get led around by someone younger than me. I have seen the beginner lessons and I have no intention of making a fool of myself.

We get to the outdoor arena, and I open the gate for my aunt to enter. It is empty, and I am relieved I don't have to interact with anyone else. There is an old school style chair in the corner. It is uncomfortable but better than nothing, so I settle there as my aunt begins walking Diamond around. I have worked out the difference between walk and trot, but once they go faster, I have no idea what the difference is between all the other stuff. My aunt talks about canter, gallops, collected, extended. It's all the same to me.

She starts going over some poles on the floor, so I hold up my phone and start videoing, I do it straight to her WhatsApp, so I won't have to mess about sending it to her later. It lets me record for one and a half minutes each time, and I have just started my fifth or sixth when I notice someone else approach. They are on a white horse. My aunt insists they are still called grey's but next to Diamond it looks white to me. It is smaller than Diamond and I can't see who is riding at first but as she comes through the gate I realise it is her.

It is like something out of a stupid, soppy film. The same moment she enters the arena the sun comes out from behind the clouds and shines down on her. She looks up and smiles, not at me but at my aunt and for some stupid reason I feel jealous. She comes into the arena and starts to walk her horse around the outside in the groove that is worn into the soil. I find myself watching her and it is only when I press send, I realise the last minute of the video I sent to my aunt, was me filming her. Damn.