Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

I 'm surprisingly nervous going into family dinner. Or maybe it's more accurate to say I'm even more nervous than normal. It's not just that I'm currently keeping my relationship with Mesu secret either, but my career choices too. I know nothing will change the fact I'm Blessed, but I can't see Mum being particularly pleased with the idea that I'm going to be purposefully going into an area of the temple revolving around mourning rather than the more performative time. I think she's harbouring some thoughts of the six of us playing out a family tableau, even if that's not actually likely in the first place.

Despite all of my worries, I head into the dining room.

Kema caws at the sight of Rash's kestrel already on the perch, and goes over to join him, though it doesn't escape my notice that she isn't entirely comfortable with the bigger bird yet, even if she wants to be.

Mum enters the room with a large serving dish and sets it down in the middle of the table. "Good, you're here."

I nod and take a seat. "I had a meeting." Which is going to become more of a thing now that all four of us are in the priesthood, but Mum doesn't seem to have fully realised that and is still putting dinner far too early for us all.

"The priesthood is already taking up lots of your time, little sister," Kashto says from his seat.

"As it does for us all," I respond stiffly.

He nods as if in understanding.

"Well, no matter," Mum says. "This is the price I must pay to have all four of my children in places of power."

I grimace and look down at my empty plate.

"Perhaps we should all eat before it gets cold," Dad says.

"Excellent idea. Ben, would you pass the carrots," Mum asks.

Kashto launches into a dreadfully dull story about what's happening in the Temple of Osiris at the moment, and I tune him out without even meaning to. Mum's holding on to every word as he speaks, keeping both of them busy for the moment.

"You okay, Shan?" Ben whispers from beside me.

I nod.

"Now I know you're lying."

I sigh and check no one's paying any attention to us. "I just don't like keeping secrets."

"They're your secrets," he points out. "You don't have to keep them if you don't want to."

I bite my bottom lip. "I feel like I do." Mostly because I haven't come up with a good way to tell my parents about Mesu yet. I touch my scarab in the hope that it'll bring me courage, even if that's not what it's really for.

He shrugs. "Well, they won't hear any of them from me. Even if I do think it's weird you're dating my best friend."

"Shh."

"No one's paying us any attention, Shan."

"Even so. Not here."

"How is Mesu doing?" Mum asks, making me jump.

I freeze, trying not to think too much of the question before realising she's talking to Ben.

"He's fine," my brother responds.

"I heard from a friend that he's seeing someone," Rash says.

My heart sinks.

"Oh? Did they say who?" Mum asks.

Rash shrugs. "No idea. I just heard it was another Blessed."

"That's to be expected," Mum says. "Like attracting like. Did they say which temple?"

"I heard..."

I meet my sister's gaze and shake my head.

Surprise flits through her eyes but she seems to understand. She clears her throat. "I heard nothing else."

I breathe a sigh of relief and slump back in my chair.

"That's a surprise to me," Kashto says off-handedly. "Everyone is talking about it at our temple. It isn't often that a Seth Blessed and a Nephthys Blessed start dating."

I groan and sink down into my chair.

"A Nephthys Blessed, you say?" Mum asks. "Do you know anything about it, Shan?"

"A Nephthys Blessed Apprentice," Kashto continues as if he hasn't realised what's happening.

"Kashto," Rash hisses.

"What? That's what I heard. A Nephthys Blessed Apprentice from the primary temple, one of the apprentices from the Temple of Horus saw them together and it's all anyone can talk about."

My cheeks flame red, as I'm sure everyone around the table is putting the pieces together.

I sink further down in my chair.

"Sorry," my sister mouths at me. I offer her a weak smile in return. At least she tried to stop Kashto from revealing it.

"But that would be Shan," Mum says. "There is no other Nephthys Blessed Apprentice at the primary temple, is there?" She looks straight at me, no doubt knowing everything from my current posture.

"Maybe the rumours are mistaken," Ben says loudly.

I put my hand on his arm. "It's fine," I murmur, even though it's definitely not fine. I don't even know where these rumours could possibly have come from, but there's nothing we can do about them now. I take a deep breath and prepare myself.

"Shoshan?" Mum's tone leaves no doubt in my mind that lying right now isn't an option. Not that I really want it to be anyway.

"Mesu and I are dating," I say.

The whole room is silent as I wait for one of them to respond. Mum stares at me as if I've grown another head.

I clear my throat. "We're taking things slow, which is why I didn't say anything."

"You and Mesu?" Mum asks.

"Yes."

"Well this is excellent," Dad announces. "A Nephthys Blessed and a Seth Blessed together is something to be celebrated."

Mum squeaks. "It is. Imagine how your bosses are going to react. The two of you are going to get all of the best positions in the tableaux. Everyone loves it when the Blessed are actually together. Your father and I know that better than anyone."

Ben gives me a look and I know what he's thinking. I have to come clean about the other thing I'm keeping from them too.

"That's unlikely to happen," I say.

"Don't be ridiculous," Mum responds. "Of course it'll happen. Perhaps not while you're both still apprentices, but in another half a year or so when you're both ordained, your bosses will be clamouring to put you in that position."

I bite my bottom lip and think about the best way to phrase what I have to say next. Rash is looking at me with an intrigued expression on her face, while Kashto seems more bored than anything else. I look at Ben who gives me what I think is supposed to be a reassuring smile but comes across as more of a grimace.

"It's not likely to happen because I've already started training for my specialism."

Mum drops her fork onto her plate. "You have?"

"I started training as a Kite of Nephthys about a month ago."

The silence around the table is almost oppressive, and I hate it.

"You can't be serious, Shoshan. You're eighteen."

"You said that you knew you wanted to have a performative role in the Temple of Nut when you were still an apprentice," I point out. "I've given it a lot of thought and that's what I want to do. And it's a done deal. The Head Blessed was very pleased with my decision."

Mum lets out a sigh. "Well then, I suppose there's no going back."

Rash clears her throat. "Since we're talking about career revelations, I have one of my own." She gives me an encouraging smile, though I'm not sure what it means. "I've been asked to take a position in the charity arm of the Temple of Isis. It'll mostly be teaching people how to cook and make the most of the food they've got. I'm looking forward to it."

"Rashida!" Mum chides. "What made you think that's an appropriate job for a Blessed?"

"The Head Blessed at my temple asked me to do it," my sister responds. "And it's an honour. Wasn't it Isis who taught the women of Egypt to bake bread and brew beer? What greater honour is there to serve my goddess that way?"

Mum gives a dramatic sigh. "And what about you, my sons?" She doesn't say it, but I can hear in her voice how disappointed she is by mine and Rash's choices.

I share a smile with my sister. At least if we're disappointments, we're going to be it together.

"An opportunity to specialise hasn't come my way yet," Ben responds, poking at the green beans on his plate.

"You should ensure you run any decisions by your mother and me," Dad says sternly.

From Ben's expression, I very much doubt that's going to be what he'll do, but he wisely keeps quiet about it. I wouldn't put it past Mum and Dad to go over his head and talk to his supervisor in order to get what they want.

"Well I for one wouldn't dream of taking a position without talking to you about it first," Kashto says.

I roll my eyes, only noticing Rash do the same on the other side of the table. I smother my responding laughter. Why is Kashto always like this?

"You should all be doing that," Dad says. "Your mother and I know a lot about the positions in all of the temples, and how important it is for us all to be representing the family well. When there are big things in your life, we want to know about them so we're able to steer you in the right direction."

"Yes, Dad," Ben says, looking down at his plate.

I make an affirmative noise, and Rash mutters her acceptance too, though I'm reasonably certain none of us are actually going to listen. Because, no matter what my parents say, my career is my own now I'm in the Temple of Nephthys. It's up to me to make my own way as a Blessed priestess, and there's absolutely nothing they can do about it.