Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Summer

W as the change in seasons also the dramatic change in trajectory my life needed? It turned out to be that and more. Christmas didn't just bring morning frost and festive hot chocolates. It brought me closer to my mum, who was more present than ever––the best gift I could have ever asked for. It brought me closer to my newly found friends, people I'd once taken for granted, those who stuck by me through thick and thin.

It was those friends who had managed to convince me to come to the usual New Years Eve gathering, as apprehensive I was about the whole thing. I'd managed to avoid the few parties Alfie had put on in between the beginning of term and Christmas, but there was no saying no to Evie.

As nervous as I was to step back into Alfie's home and look everyone in the eye, in the exact spot I'd lost my dignity as I cried and yelled at him on his stairs, I was looking forward to seeing the back of this year and welcoming the next with open arms.

As luck had it, my nerves dwindled when a message popped up on my phone as Alfie scrambled to find a new venue for his party.

Sandy Crew Group WhatsApp chat:

Alfie: Guys, disaster has struck! My parents have decreed that this is, in fact, their house and that if they want to have a New Year's Eve party here for their boring old friends who will all be in bed by midnight then they will! Can you believe the actual audacity? :(

My heart ached for him as everyone complained that he wasn't able to host the party. Although he hadn't mentioned it since, I remembered him telling me that his mum and dad had a huge argument and she'd left. Either they'd made up, or Alfie was trying to keep up appearances, pretending he had it all, and I had a hunch which it was.

Eventually, Lola jumped in offering a friend's house, and an invite was promptly sent into the group with an address just across town.

Only a few days later, I dressed in a black sequin dress, the hem sitting just above my knees, in readiness for Alfie's party at Cade's house. Whichever New Years Eve party it was, it was going to be the perfect way to see in the new year.

Mum had managed to wrangle an early shift so she was home in time to take me to the party, one of many acts of kindness and love that had been happening more and more frequently. She had even offered to pick me up after midnight.

"You look so beautiful," Mum said, as she wrapped a lock of my curled hair around one of her fingers. "I'm so lucky that you're my daughter."

"I'm the lucky one. I know that now. I love you."

"I love you too, Summer. Now, let's get you to that party."

I couldn't douse the apprehension that made my stomach turn as I knocked on the door that seemed so big and heavy, it could have carried the weight of Cade's huge house. It opened, and to my surprise there were no colourful badges nor laughing or pointing. Instead, a few of my classmates smiled, others had no idea who I was, and everyone had forgotten about that awful party a couple of months back. Everyone except for me.

I had nothing at all to worry about, and I relaxed a few drinks in as I caught up with my friends, and even Alfie.

Things had been normal between us ever since I'd seen him face plant the treadmill at the gym, but to say Alfie was normal? I'd have been lying.

Over the past few months, I'd seen him hold back, unlike the usual Alfie who would always shout out loud if there was a chance of him making anyone laugh.

I'd seen him get rid of some of his worst traits, but at the same time, lose some of his best. His humour. His smile. His laugh. It had all faded as I stood at the bar feeling like I was talking to a robot in place of Alfie.

"How gorgeous is this house?" I said, my voice raised so he could hear me above the loud music.

"Yeah. It is nice."

"I mean, your house does give this one a run for its money, though."

Alfie replied only with a slightly bitter snort as he poured himself another drink, and I could tell his mind was somewhere else.

"You gonna work your way through the whole bottle?" I asked, nodding at the already half empty vodka bottle.

"Why not?" he replied without a smile.

"Your liver, for one thing." I laughed, hoping he'd join me, but his expression remained flat as he shrugged in response.

This wasn't him. Alfie was loud, popular and confident. The guy in front of me seemed like a shrunken version, like the Alfie you'd get from one of those dodgy cheap websites rather than the real, technicolour thing.

"Hey," I said softly, laying my hand on his arm and waiting in vain for him to look at me. "What's going on?"

He tossed his head back and downed the drink, smacking his lips and slamming the empty glass down on the side. "It's New Year's Eve. You're meant to get wasted on New Year's Eve. It's the rules or something."

"You're also meant to be cheerful," I pointed out drily.

"Nah. Everybody's always miserable on New Year's Eve. All that new year, new me crap. Knowing you've gotta stop eating cheese by the block and get your arse down the gym. It's all shit, isn't it? You don't have to wait for a special night to change your life." He poured himself another drink and stared into it as though it were a deep pool and not simply a very large shot of vodka. Then he added in a barely audible voice, "My mum certainly didn't."

Awareness washed over me like a tidal wave and suddenly his morose mood made so much sense. "She hasn't come home?"

"Nope," he said, popping the P with a sardonic smile. "Would you?"

"Me? Come back to your place?" I allowed myself a small, coy smile. "It has its appeal."

"Not for her." God, he sounded so down. I had no idea how to coax the real Alfie back out from wherever he was hiding.

"I'm sure she'll come back," I tried, rubbing his shoulder lightly.

"Trust me," he mumbled, "if you saw the state of the place now, you'd stay well away too. My dad doesn't know how to use the dishwasher. Or the vacuum cleaner. Or the cooker. The Age of Enlightenment really was just something that happened to other people as far as he's concerned."

I let out a small sigh. It was horrible seeing him this way. "I'm sorry, Alfie. So, there is no grown up adult party?"

He shook his head sadly. "No, I just… I guess I didn't want everybody from college knowing, you know?"

"I get that. And even if they knew the facts, I'm sure more than the truth would be spread around the school. Look at the beginning of the year with us. There were so many different rumours running the mill, it was awful. For both of us." I took another sip of my drink, swallowing the pain from the start of the year away.

"Mmm, people seem to be able to get so much mileage out of other people's pain. Nothing makes them happier than a good bit of gossip about somebody who's actually really hurting." He took another drink, much slower this time, and then he shook his head as though shaking off the entire conversion, then looked me in the eye and smiled. "Have I told you you look amazing tonight? You're a knockout, Summer Geary."

All it took were those few words to flood my heart with a warmth it had been missing for a long time. His words were like that one song that seemed to always give you goosebumps. Those thirteen words were music to my ears, and for the first time that evening, I was glad to be at one of Alfie's parties.

"Thanks, Wilson. I would say the same about you but do you or your dad even know how to work an iron?" I laughed in tune with Alfie as he swept his hands down his creased shirt. "But, joking aside. You look as hot as ever."

He laughed, and for the first time all evening, he actually looked happy. His eyes took back their sparkle as he put his drink down on the counter. "Haven't you heard, Geary? Ironing is out. Creases are in this season.'' Then he sent my emotions skittering all over the place when he held out his hand to me with a soft, vulnerable look on his face, and asked, "Do you fancy a dance?"

"You bet." My hand held his for the rest of the evening as we danced underneath the glistening disco ball that hung above us. Everything I felt intensified in Alfie's company, and in a crowded room full of my peers, Alfie was the only person I could see clearly. He was the only person I needed to see, right up until we had gathered in the garden ready to see in the new year.

Leaning against the garden fence, Alfie tugged me closer to him, his fingers dancing lightly over my arms as he stared at me like he couldn't quite believe I was there with him. He was silent for the longest time while the fairy lights in Cade's garden twinkled in his eyes. Then his gaze dropped to the ground and he let out a heavy sigh.

"God, I'm such an idiot. Why did I ever listen to the crap my dad spouted for all those years? I mean, look at you! I can't believe I messed this up and missed out on what could have been so amazing."

As I stood next to Alfie, my heartbeat ran faster than it ever had before. "You've not messed up," I said nervously as he placed his hands in his pockets. I stepped closer, only inches away from him and his alcohol laced breath I couldn't help but want to taste. "I believe in second chances. I believe in you, Alfie. I believe in us."

He stared at me again, unblinking, his expression a mixture of wonder and disbelief. Then, as the party erupted into a countdown to midnight, his hand moved to caress my face, and we didn't even make it to the cries of, "Happy new year," before his lips connected with mine, and he kissed me in a way I'd never dreamed of being kissed. He threw everything into that moment, emotions sizzling between us, erasing everything that had come before.

All that mattered was us, he and I, together, both a little bit broken, but whole together.