Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

M orning came too quickly but it was warm and my whole bed smelled of Konomi. We'd fallen asleep with our arms and legs tangled, entwined like two branches of ivy growing together. I didn't ever want to be separated.

She stirred in her sleep, her eyes fluttering open slowly. Her eyelashes were short and so cute, I just wanted to kiss them. I wanted to kiss all of her.

"Good morning," I whispered. Our faces were so close, our noses were almost touching. It was still dark outside but after kissing and touching every inch of her, I didn't need light to see her anymore.

She smiled. "Morning, Mayu."

Her voice was slightly raspy in a way I'd never heard before but it was my new favourite sound. That and her moans from last night.

I kissed her nose and then her lips. She moaned softly and kissed me back. The fire and urgency from last night was gone but the tenderness and intimacy wasn't.

"Any regrets?" she asked, her breath slightly hitching.

I shook my head slightly. "None. You?"

"Me either." She propped her head up with her hand, exposing the side of her neck that I bit last night without meaning to. It was slightly swollen and redder than the other marks my lips left.

"I hurt you," I whispered, reaching out to brush my fingers over the bite mark.

Konomi tilted her head back slightly. "It doesn't hurt."

"I'm still sorry. I don't know what came over me," I said, leaning in to kiss it better. She giggled and squirmed into me, which I took as encouragement to keep kissing and nibbling. She was just so irresistible and this was better than my dreams. This was real.

"I'm guessing I'm allowed to live in your fancy house on the hill now?" Konomi quipped, her voice slightly hoarse and husky again.

Her joke made my stomach tighten and I jerked back. The movement cut through us like a blade, tearing the beautiful moment apart.

"Mayu?" Concern coloured Konomi's voice. "What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing. It's just... The house, the hill, the village. My family." I almost didn't manage the next word. " My brother. "

Konomi touched my face. "It's all right. I knew this would be an issue, it's one of the many reasons why I never said anything. Why I never thought we could be... this."

"I feel so guilty, like I just betrayed... him . Do you not feel that way?" I whispered, afraid that if I said his name, he would come back from the afterlife to haunt me. Maybe he already was. I betrayed him, his memory.

"I do feel conflicted but not guilty." She was silent for a bit. "I think you loved him more than I did. I know that sounds awful but he was your beloved big brother. Whereas to me, he was?—"

"Your husband." I felt nauseous just saying the word.

"A stranger. At least, at first." Konomi turned on her back but she never let go of my hand. "I liked him and I'm sure I would've grown to love him eventually. But I don't think I would've ever loved him the way I love you."

My stomach tightened again but it felt different this time. This time, I felt betrayed on my brother's behalf. How could she say these things?

Konomi let out a sigh from deep within. "I've never told anyone this. I mean, there's nobody I could tell. I didn't really understand how I felt about you back then. I didn't even have much say in the marriage agreement. My father arranged it because he was dying and I didn't have a good reason to say no. Reasons, yes. Plenty of them. Good ones, no."

I squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought you wanted to marry him."

"I wanted to stay close to you." She turned to look at me even though it was still dark. "This was the only way I knew how. I am truly sorry. To you and to your brother. I never meant to deceive and yet, I did it to both of you. And the worst part is that I never regretted it because I got to spend more time with you. If I hadn't married him, I would never have been able to come on this journey with you. I was grateful that I could. How awful is that? I'm despicable."

"Oh, Konomi. No, you're not." I let go of her hand and she sobbed, clearly thinking I was moving away. Instead, I pulled her into a hug. It was odd to be the one embracing her, I was the younger one and she was my rock, but right now, I could tell she needed me to hold her. Just how she held me last night.

I stroked her hair while she clutched me so tightly, it almost hurt. I didn't mind, it felt good to acknowledge this hauntingly painful thing that had both bound and separated us for so long. It was healing to realise that life hadn't just felt unfair to me, but that it had been equally unfair to all of us. To me, to Konomi, to my brother.

After a while, Konomi stopped crying but she never let go. I kissed her forehead, her eyelids with those cute short eyelashes, her cheeks that were still wet from her tears. There was no way to change the past and no point in agonising over it. I didn't hate myself or Konomi enough to punish us over it either. My brother would never be fully gone from our relationship because I would carry him in my heart wherever we went, but he didn't have to stand between us either.

"So what do we do now?" Konomi asked in a small voice.

"We continue as planned. We have a Winter Stone to find," I said. I even managed to sound a little bit optimistic. "If we find it, we'll be hailed as heroes when we return. You and I will live in that fancy house. Together. Nobody will tell us we can't, I am the Guardian. Aren't I?"

Hope sparked in Konomi's beautiful eyes. "And if we don't find the Stone?"

"Then I suppose we'll have to find a different house on a different hill." I leaned forward, capturing her lips in another kiss. "If that's not what you want, then I'll do my very best to put these feelings back but I'm not sure I'll be able to. I'm greedy. I've spent so long wanting this, now that I've had a taste of you, I want everything."

My statement brought the first proper smile back to Konomi's lips. "You've certainly had a taste."

Heat rushed to my ears and I suddenly felt shy. "That's not what I meant."

"Are you blushing?" She patted my head again, her smile growing even wider. "You're so adorable and I'm greedy too. Remember what I said when we left the village?"

I swallowed hard. "You said you would stay with me, always."

Of course, I remembered. The words were seared into my brain, one of the many memories of hers that I wanted to see when my life flashed before my eyes.

She pressed her lips on mine again, smiling into the kiss. "I meant it then and I mean it now. I'm yours."

Her words hit me in the spot in my chest where I always felt my wolf soul and I pulled her closer into me. I didn't have any words to explain just how much I loved her, but I didn't need to. I was sure she could feel this too, this new connection that was beautiful and tender and true.