Chapter 29

The slick of paint on canvas was the only sound in the room. I wiped my forehead with the bottom of my shirt. It was hot as hell in here. But I'd rather sweat it out than go back home to an empty house. A Charlie-less house.

There was also the little fact that I hated knowing she was mad at me. Charlie hated being ignored, had been that way since we were kids. But I wasn't ready to talk to her yet.

Call me superficial but my ego wasn't bulletproof. The idea that she was going to move on without me was necessary but the reality of it had thrown me for a loop. Funny how my Dad had never said that doing what was best for someone else could hurt this bad.

The door to the shed flew open, hitting the wall with a crash. I spun around at the loud noise. Tana stood in the doorway with fire in her eyes and an armful of Meatball.

"What the hell?"

She marched inside as if she had every right to be there, giving the canvases leaning against the walls only a cursory glance before stopping right in front of me. Meatball growled when they got close. I made a face at him.

"Stop making faces at the dog!" Tana yelled. "You don't get to play with the dog when it's your fault his mother is gone!"

I scowled. "Um, I'm pretty sure his mother left him to roam the streets begging for food from strangers so…"

"Charlie, you jackass! She left. And she probably thought I couldn't tell but she had been crying before that. So what did you do?"

I yanked my phone out of my back pocket and cursed when I saw the five new text messages and three calls. Ignoring her had seemed like a better option than starting a fight earlier but I hadn't thought she would just leave town.

"What exactly did she say?"

Tana sighed, looking like she was on the verge of tears herself. "Her message said that she had to go back to New York and could I watch Meatball until she could send for him? So I just went and picked him up. But I don't even think she realizes she wrote that. Send. For. Him. That means she isn't coming back."

"Fuck."

"I repeat, what the hell did you do?"

The panic I felt at hearing she'd actually left mixed with the brutal awareness that I should have expected this.

"Why are you assuming I did something? This is what Charlie does, she blows through town and gets everybody all riled up and then she bails. Just when we've all gotten used to the idea that she might like us enough to actually stick around."

Tana shook her head. "No. She was happy here. Something changed. What changed?"

"Her mom called. Something about Billie. Her family needs her."

Tana waved her hand impatiently. Meatball tried to lick it and then grumbled when he wasn't fast enough. "No, Billie's going to be fine. She just got hurt at summer camp. That's why she left today, to go check on her."

Relief bloomed quick and bright. "That's why she left. Why are you panicking?" I placed a hand over my heart.

God, Tana was going to give me a heart attack.

She closed her eyes briefly as if I was just so stupid she couldn't bear it. "Billie is why she left. You are the reason she might not come back."

"Her mom said they needed to sell the house for the money. It's not like they were going to be here forever anyway. The only reason she came back was because she didn't have anywhere else to go. She was never going to stay here."

Tana held Meatball up like a weapon. "Pee, Meatball. Pee on him!"

I backed away almost tripping on the leg of the easel. "What the fuck? Why are you so weird?"

"You deserve it for being a dick. No wonder she left."

"So Charlie ditches us and somehow I'm the bad guy?"

Unbelievable. Even when I was trying to do the right thing I was still seen as the problem?

"If you believe for even one second that Charlie would ever want to sell Gran Grace's house, then you don't deserve her." Tana turned around and walked away.

"I heard her on the phone, Tana. Something about a lawsuit. They need the money."

"Well, I don't know what you heard but I know that Charlie would mortgage everything she owned before she would sell Gran Grace's house. And I would, too."

That made me pause. "I don't think it's that simple. There's a lot going on and it's not like she asked for my help. I'm not even supposed to know about it. She felt bad about leaving me in the lurch so I told her I already had a new place. I was trying to do the right thing and make it easier for her."

Tana wiped under her eyes. "I don't even blame her if she stays gone. What's here for her other than reminders of the life she never got to have and a boyfriend who doesn't believe in her enough to wait? She deserves people who will fight for her. If I could go back in time, I would have never let our Rescue Charlie plan go. I should have fought for her. So this is not just on you. It's on me, too."

It wasn't often I saw Tana looking so defeated. Even when we were kids, she was this bossy little ball of energy that kept us all on our toes.

"Rescue Charlie plan? Why would you think she needed to be rescued? I thought living in New York was her dream?"

Tana gave me a dirty look. Meatball's wasn't much better. "Charlie never wanted to live in New York."

My face was probably telegraphing my disbelief but I shook my head just to be clear. "It was all she talked about. How she was going to live in a penthouse and go to all those fancy shops you two always talked about. She was all too happy to leave us behind."

"Men seriously do hear what they want to hear. Charlie wanted to visit New York. She figured after high school her mom would be happily remarried to the step-jerk and Charlie would still be living here with Gran. She'd go visit but then she'd come back home. To Violet Ridge. To us."

Was it possible that I'd gotten it wrong all those years ago? I'd always assumed that Charlie had been happy to leave and go live in her stepfather's swanky new penthouse in the sky. It wasn't like there was much for her here.

What, did I think that she'd actually be attracted to the local handyman who barely graduated high school? The guy who could never give her all those fancy things she talked about?

"She didn't want to leave?"

"No. Living with Gran was what she wanted. But then Gran died and everything changed. Overnight Charlie went from happy and carefree to carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. That house was her safe place but it was only safe because of Gran Grace. After that, she had to finish her senior year at that snooty school in Manhattan."

"She could have come back after high school. So what happened?"

Tana smiled. "Billie happened."

In that moment, I understood. Charlie had always wanted a sibling. She'd told Tana many times how lucky she was to have brothers. I'm sure she was talking about Van more so than me but still, if Billie had come along right after she finished high school there was no way she'd leave a baby sibling behind.

"She stayed to help her mom with Billie and also to make sure she was a part of her little sister's life. But I'm sure she would have come back to Violet Ridge more if a certain person hadn't made her life hell!"

There was nothing I could say to that because she was right. Over the years, annoying Charlie had seemed so much easier than facing how much it hurt every time she would leave. Not that it had helped at all. Pretending I didn't care hadn't changed the hollow feeling inside every time she left town.

"Tell me what to do here, Tana. I want this to work and I want to make her happy. Whenever I try it falls apart."

Tana let out a huge sigh. "I don't know. I just know that you have to fix it. Or this time we'll have lost her for good."

She turned to go, Meatball perched high on her shoulder. Even the dog looked defeated as he watched me accusingly.

Yeah, it's my fault. I feel like shit already.

"Despite what you think I always wanted her to stay," I said just as Tana reached the door.

She looked over her shoulder at me. "I know. I just wish it was enough."

* * *

Trying to paint after that had seemed pointless. After cleaning my brushes, I had gone back to the house on Magnolia but couldn't stop staring at the blank walls. Swinging a hammer in that mood hadn't seemed like the best idea.

Hell, going out drinking probably hadn't been the best idea either

"Another round." I slapped a twenty on the bar.

The bartender wasn't anyone I recognized which was a relief. The whole point of coming to a bar outside of town was because I didn't feel like talking.

The faint scent of stale beer and cigarette smoke hung in the air, a perfect complement to my sour mood. The place was a dive but I had to give it points for being clean at least. The glasses were clear and someone was clearly wiping down the wood regularly. It was scarred in several places but it was polished to a high shine.

"Here." The bartender slid a fresh glass towards me. "On the house. Hendrix, right?" he asked.

"Who's asking?" I looked at him closely.

Fuck. He was probably one of my cousins. The thought made my head hurt.

"I'm Jimmy. I went to school with your Uncle David."

"Great. So this will be all over town by tomorrow morning."

He chuckled. "I'm a bartender. We know how to keep our mouths shut. A man should be able to drink away his woman troubles in peace."

I threw back the drink, the warmth of the scotch spreading through my chest like fire. It wasn't enough to make me forget Charlie was gone but it was a decent start.

"How did you know I had woman troubles?" I muttered, staring at my reflection in the mirror behind the rows of liquor bottles.

He shrugged. "Who doesn't?"

I figured this was the part where he expected me to spill my guts but instead he moved down the bar to help another customer. Clearly he didn't give a fuck about my problems. That made me laugh.

This might be my new favorite place.

I didn't need a therapist just some time to figure out what the hell I was doing. Leaving was supposed to make things easier on Charlie, but if what Tana said was true, then everything I'd thought about her was wrong.

Maybe going back to New York wasn't what was best for Charlie.

Which meant that I had well and truly fucked this up.

I wasn't sure how long I was there before the place started to fill up. Someone bumped my arm and I moved over slightly. Ice clinked against the glass as I took the last gulp of scotch. After the first few, the bartender had starting bringing them without me even having to ask. The burn wasn't going to ease my frustration, but it dulled the pain a little. Maybe if I had enough of these I could forget the shock in Charlie's eyes when I'd told her I was in love with her while I was leaving.

I dropped my head down on the scarred wood. I'd used my feelings for her like some kind of trump card, a gotcha to twist the knife before I left her behind.

"You're going at it a little hard nephew." David stood next to me but when I blinked, suddenly there were two of him.

"Uncle David?" I mumbled, attempting to sit up straight but almost falling off the stool.

Just then Jimmy appeared. "Thanks for coming."

My brain felt like it was encased in quicksand but I finally put together that he must have called him.

"Hey, you told my uncle on me?" I could hear my words slurring a little.

"Sorry Rix." Jimmy almost sounded like he meant it. "I had to, man. You"re in no condition to drive."

Even as drunk as I was, I had enough sense to feel ashamed. I wasn't going to drive drunk but I was in the next town over, with no way to get home. I hadn't even thought about it until now.

"Thanks, Jimmy," David clapped me on the shoulder. "I"ve got him."

"Sorry about this Uncle D," I muttered, my pride stinging at the thought of needing someone to see me home.

But deep down, I knew they were right. I was in no state to be driving, or making any decisions for that matter.

"No need to be sorry. We've all been there. I was probably sitting on that same stool drinking away some brain cells when Tammy left me."

When I stumbled getting up, he grabbed my arm and waited until I had my balance.

"I was just trying to protect her. I thought I was doing the right thing." I mumbled.

"I'm sure you did," David said patiently.

It seemed like it took a million years but we finally reached his truck. In the time I'd been there, the parking lot had filled up so he was at the edge of the lot next to the road.

"Wait, Rix. Let me pull out a bit so it's easier to get in. There's a ditch–"

Maybe he didn't say it loud enough or maybe I just wasn't listening but the next thing I knew I was on my back staring up at the stars.

"Okay never mind," David chuckled.

"This is rock bottom, isn't it?" I groaned as the ache in my back registered. I wasn't sure what I'd landed on but this ditch felt like it was filled with rocks.

"It could be worse," David reminded me. "He could have called your father."

"She's gone, Uncle D. I shouldn't have let her go."

He sighed. "Probably not. But sometimes we don't have a choice."

"I should go after her. I'm going after her." I struggled to sit up.

"Maybe let's get the dog shit off your clothes first. How's that sound?"

It was so dark I could barely see but there was no mistaking that smell. "Uncle D? Let's keep this between us, yeah?"

He hoisted me up. "I've been keeping your secrets for years, kid. Not planning to stop now."