Chapter 20

Turning from side to side, I eyed the fluffy lavender dress that Tana claimed made me look like a fairy princess with a critical eye. Maybe I should have worn the dress my mom brought back from New York. Prom was a big deal so I wasn't sure going for a cocktail length dress had been the right choice.

If only I was a little taller, then I could pull off a dramatic gown like the one Tana had decided on. Going dress shopping was half the fun of prom so I probably still would have worn this one. Watching Tana try on and make fun of a bunch of dresses was worth more than an outfit from some exclusive boutique in the city.

Voices floated up the stairs and I smiled at the sound of Mrs. Evers prompting Tana to "say cheese" again as she posed for the millionth photo in front of the fireplace. It drove her crazy that her mom wanted to take pictures of everything but I thought it was sweet.

What I wouldn't give to still have someone who cared so much about documenting the moments of my life.

Especially since this was my last year with them.

Not that anyone knew that yet. I hadn't told Tana. She would cry and want to go talk to my mom. In her world, if you begged and cried someone gave in. I didn't have the heart to tell her those tactics only worked if someone cared about your tears.

As always, thoughts of my grandmother's death took my breath away. She'd died right after the new year, almost like she was holding on just so she wouldn't miss one last holiday season. Then as soon as the new year came in, she was gone and I'd cried buckets of tears since. The tears hadn't brought her back and they hadn't made me feel better either.

All it had done was remind me that the only person who'd cared when I wept was gone. I had no tears left.

No, crying wouldn't get me another year in Violet Ridge. When Gran was alive there was someone else to reason with Mom. Now that she was gone, I was going to have to do my senior year at some snooty school in Manhattan.

It was just one year, I reminded myself. After that I was coming right back. I was already hiding money to pay for my train ticket. Once I was eighteen, I could make my own decisions.

A shadow passed over the doorway.

"Would you stop lurking already," I finally said.

There was silence and then Rix appeared in the doorway. "Why aren't you downstairs taking pictures with Tana?"

"Your mom wants pictures of her daughter. I don't want to get in the way."

"My mom already considers you one of us. She would probably trade me out for you in a heartbeat."

"That's not true. Your parents love each of their kids. Even when you get in trouble."

He stepped into the room, keeping half of his body in the hallway almost like he wasn't sure if he was really welcome. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not." I swiped at my cheeks, horrified to find them wet.

Luckily, he didn't bother to call me out for the obvious lie. His eyes traveled over the chaos in the room, all the makeup Tana had pulled out before deciding what she wanted to use and the boxes of shoes all over the floor. The strappy lavender sandals I'd found to match my dress were kicked off in the corner because they were already making my feet hurt. I'd spent an hour straightening my hair and actually put on more than just mascara for once. I would have felt beautiful if I wasn't so heartbroken.

"Are you going to the prom?"

He shrugged. "Not really my scene."

I wasn't sure why I asked since I couldn't even imagine a world where Hendrix Evers willingly wore a tuxedo.

"Good. Maybe we'll actually be able to have fun for once." I raised my eyebrows before sending him a sweet smile, the kind I knew annoyed him.

"We? You and your date?" He chuckled to himself, like the idea of me having a date was so ludicrous.

"Yes. I have a date." Technically I had a pity date since I was pretty sure Kenny had only asked me because his best friend Steve was going with Tana. But Rix didn't need to know that.

"I heard. You're actually going out with Kenny Baker."

"He's nice," I insisted.

"I guess if that's your type." Rix didn't look impressed.

"What does that mean?"

"That's the type of guy who is just looking to cop a feel. Are you going to let him kiss you?"

Annoyed, I threw the makeup brush I wasn't even using down on Tana's desk. "That is none of your business."

"It would be disappointing anyway."

"How would you know? Maybe he's a good kisser. Maybe he'll kiss me under the stars and it'll be perfect just like in the movies."

Hendrix smiled in that cocky way that always made me want to punch him. "A perfect kiss? That's what you want?"

"Yes. It'll be soft and sweet and romantic. Not that you would know anything about that."

He moved closer. "Maybe he'll tell you that you look beautiful in your dress, like something out of a dream."

His voice was so soft and the way he was looking at me when he said it made my chest hurt. He always smelled like wood chips from the work he did with his father. It should have been annoying, but the scent wrapped around me making my head spin.

"Yes. I guess so," I whispered, wishing that he would hurry up and leave.

"Then he'll take your hand. He'll feel lucky that he gets to be that close to you."

I sucked in a breath as he took my hand. His eyes stayed on mine for a long moment before his fingers curled around my wrist, lifting my hand to rest against his chest.

Something in the back of my mind was telling me to move away or scream or laugh in his face. To do anything other than lean into him, enjoying the heat of his body.

"He'll look down at you and remember all the times he wished he could kiss you before," Rix whispered.

When I looked up at him, his lips passed over my forehead. I went still and he looked at me, waiting. When I nodded, he dipped his head and kissed my lips softly, brushing back and forth in a soft, ticklish sensation. I smiled and felt the curve of his lips turn up when he smiled, too. Then his hand slid behind my head and held me in place as he slanted his head, taking the kiss deeper. His tongue slid against mine and I sighed into his mouth. The hand that was still resting on his chest went higher to tangle in the hair that was curling over his collar. When he finally pulled back, my head was spinning and my lips felt swollen.

For a moment he looked down at me and I could have sworn it was like looking at a different person. There was something in his eyes that I'd never seen before, but then he blinked again and it was gone.

"So was it perfect?" Rix's voice jolted me out of the hazy, dreamlike state I'd fallen into like a face full of ice water.

"What?"

He smirked. "My kiss technique. It's perfect, right?"

I snatched my hand away from his chest like it was contaminated. What was that? Had I seriously just sucked face with my nemesis? And what if Tana had come up here and seen us?

"Why did you do that?"

"What do you mean?" He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, looking for all the world like he had no idea what I was talking about.

"You just kissed me!"

"Oh that? That was to make up for the crappy kiss you'll get from your date later. At least one part of your night won't be a disappointment."

I pushed him toward the door, ignoring his laughter. He was so much bigger than me that my shove barely moved him but finally he held up his hands and walked out of the room.

My heart was still pounding so I sat on the small bench in front of Tana's makeup table. When I looked in the mirror, I winced at the shiny lip gloss smeared across my cheek and the section of hair that was tangled in the back of my head. I used a tissue to wipe my cheek, but my hands were shaking so I figured I'd better wait before I reapplied.

Then I dropped my head into my hands.

What had I been thinking?

It was time I got over this stupid crush that had persisted for years. But every time I thought it was over, he did something that drew me back in. That was the thing about Rix. He was so awful most of the time but then he'd have an unexpected moment of sweetness. I couldn't let myself forget that it was all a game to him.

And I was never, ever going to tell him that he'd been my very first kiss.