Chapter 32

thirty-two

. . .

Hillary’s palms were slick with sweat as she paced the worn carpet outside the audition room, her sensible flats treading a path as the others in the room alternated from caring about her to not caring. She tried to focus on her breathing, mentally reciting her lines for what felt like the hundredth time.

Around her, the waiting room buzzed with nervous energy. Hopeful actors and actresses of all ages filled the mismatched chairs, a few murmuring lines under their breath while others fiddled with their headshots and resumes. A teenage girl with a sleek ponytail tapped furiously at her phone, her leg bouncing. An elderly man in a tweed jacket hummed softly to himself, eyes closed. Hillary didn’t imagine they were all for the same role, or even the same production, but they were all in the same space mentally.

Hillary glanced down at the monologue gripped in her trembling hands, the words blurring together. She blinked hard, trying to compose herself. You can do this, she told herself firmly. You’ve prepared for this.

But a small, doubtful voice whispered in the back of her mind. What if you mess up? What if they laugh at you? You’re not cut out for this. Maybe you should just go home .

Choosing to sit, Hillary grabbed the closest open chair and let her head fall back for a minute. She just needed to breathe in and out. As a slow calm washed over, she lifted her head and her eyes widened instantly.

Julius sat across from her, his eyes on something in his hands.

She couldn’t look away, finding herself as drawn to him as ever. His magnetic presence seemed to fill the space, drawing her gaze like a moth to a flame.

Julius looked up from the script in his hands, his deep blue eyes locking with Hillary’s. For a brief, electric moment, the world fell away. The bustling noise of the waiting room faded into the background as they held each other’s gaze, a flicker of recognition sparking between them.

Hillary’s heart raced, a mix of excitement and hope coursing through her veins. What was Julius doing here? She hadn’t seen him since their interview, and she highly doubted he auditioned the same way someone of her demandability did.

Julius’s lips curved into a small, almost imperceptible smile, a silent acknowledgment of their shared history. But just as quickly as the moment had begun, it ended. Julius broke eye contact, turning his attention back to the script, his expression once again neutral and professional.

Hillary knew a flush crept up her neck as embarrassment took over. He was going to pretend they’d never met. She tore her gaze away from Julius, focusing instead on the task at hand. She couldn’t let herself get distracted, not now, not when her dream was within reach.

Hillary’s mind raced as she sat, frozen in place, torn between her desire to approach Julius and the fear of rejection that held her back. What if he didn’t remember her? What if their connection had been nothing more than a fleeting moment, a trick of her imagination? She chewed on her bottom lip, her eyes darting between Julius and the exit, wondering if it would be better to simply slip away unnoticed.

But there was a part of her, a small, persistent voice that whispered in her ear, urging her to take a chance. After all, hadn’t she come to this audition to prove she could do it? If she couldn’t muster the courage to talk to Julius, how could she ever expect to make it in the cutthroat world of acting?

Hillary stood and took a tentative step forward, her heart pounding in her chest so quickly she worried she could pass out any second. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words caught in her throat, her confidence faltering. She glanced down at her feet, silently cursing her own insecurity.

Just as she was about to turn away, to retreat back into the safety of anonymity, she heard him. “Hillary?”

She looked up, her eyes wide with surprise, to see Julius making his way toward her, his script tucked under his arm. He moved with the same easy grace that always made him seem like the most composed person in the room, his presence commanding the attention of everyone.

“I thought that was you,” he said. “I didn’t expect to see you here. I’m not auditioning if you’re wondering. here to do chemistry reads. You look like you’ve been well.”

Hillary nodded, her voice still caught somewhere between her heart and her throat. “Oh,” she managed to stammer out, mentally kicking herself for her lack of eloquence.

Julius’s eyes sparkled with amusement, but there was no hint of mockery in his expression. “Well, I’m sure you’ll do great. You have a natural talent for this regardless of how much you think you should run from it.”

“Thank you,” she said softly, her small hope that maybe there was more than the whirlwind fling between them. “That means a lot coming from you.”

For a moment, they stood there in silence, the world around her fading away as she lost herself in his gaze. It was as if they were the only two people in the room, the electricity between them palpable, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. He’d made her feel like the most important person in the room.

Until he didn’t.

But right now, he did. Again. Just like before.

Hillary felt her nerves begin to subside, replaced by a growing sense of determination. Julius’s encouragement was like a beacon in the darkness, guiding her toward the confidence she needed to face the audition head-on. “I’ve always been passionate about storytelling,” she confessed, her voice growing stronger with each word. “Acting is just another way to bring those stories to life. If you were passionate enough about it for it to be our first fight, I guess I owed it to myself to continue and hope the critics won’t tear me apart.”

Julius’s expression twisted into agony for a moment and then was gone, but his eyes never left hers. “And you have the talent to do it justice. I’ve seen it first hand, in a scene and watching.”

As she listened to Julius’s praise, Hillary could feel her self-assurance returning, the knots in her stomach loosening with each passing second. There was something about his unwavering support that made her feel like she could conquer the world, one audition at a time.

“Thank you, Julius,” she said, her smile widening. “Your faith in me... it means everything.”

Julius reached out, his fingertips grazing her arm in a gesture of reassurance. “You’ve got this, Hillary. Just remember, no matter what happens in there, you have the power to captivate an audience. Trust in your abilities, and let the rest fall into place.”

With a final nod of encouragement, Julius stepped back as if he’d never been there at all.

Every fiber of her being screamed at her to talk to him about anything but the audition. To tell him that she sat up every night wondering if she’d been in the wrong to not go after him knowing she’d hurt him first.

“Number 52? Hillary Mitchell?” A bored-looking assistant poked her head out of the audition room.

Hillary’s heart leapt into her throat. This was it. Her big chance. She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and stepped forward.

As she crossed the threshold, she caught her reflection in the window. Her chestnut hair was coming loose from its ponytail, her cheeks were flushed, but there was a determined glint in her green eyes behind her glasses. She could do this. She had to do this. For herself, and for the dream she’d chased all the way from her little hometown. With one last deep breath, Hillary grabbed the doorknob and tried not to freeze for too long.

Julius’s words echoed in her mind, a gentle reminder of the talent she possessed and the passion that drove her forward. With a final glance over her shoulder, she caught his reassuring smile, a silent promise that he would be there, no matter the outcome.

As she stepped into the room, the bright lights momentarily blinded her, but Hillary refused to let her nerves take control. She straightened her shoulders, her green eyes sparkling with determination as she faced the panel of casting directors. The familiar rush of adrenaline coursed through her veins, a reminder of the thrill that she never dreamed she’d experience again.

She couldn’t see who watched her, the bright flood light drowned out any ability to see beyond the brightness. Which meant anyone could be back there. Including Julius.

“My name is Hillary Mitchell,” she introduced herself, her voice clear and confident. “I’ll be auditioning for the role of Sophia.”

“You may begin when you’re ready.”

Hillary closed her eyes for a moment, allowing the character to wash over her, transforming her from the shy journalist to the fiery protagonist of the script.

As she launched into her monologue, the words flowed effortlessly, each line delivered with the perfect blend of emotion and nuance. She could feel the character’s struggles, her triumphs, and her yearning for something more, all woven seamlessly into her performance.

Time seemed to stand still as Hillary lost herself in the scene, the outside world fading away until there was nothing but the story unfolding before her. With each word, she could sense the panel leaning forward, their attention captured by the raw talent that radiated from her every move.

As she delivered the final line, Hillary let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding, the room falling silent in the wake of her performance. She stood tall, her heart racing with a mixture of exhilaration and anticipation, knowing that she had given it her all.

“Thank you, Miss Mitchell,” the head of the panel said, a hint of admiration in her voice. “We’ll be in touch.”

Hillary nodded, a grateful smile gracing her lips as she exited the room, the adrenaline still coursing through her veins. As the door closed behind her, she found herself face to face with Julius, his blue eyes shining with pride and something else she couldn’t quite place.

“You were incredible,” he whispered, his hand finding hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. “If you trust anything, trust that I didn’t lie to you about that.”

In that moment, with Julius’s unwavering support and the knowledge that she had conquered her fears, Hillary felt a sense of possibility wash over her.

As they stood together in the hallway, the bustling activity of the audition fading into the background, Hillary found herself lost in Julius’s gaze. His presence had always had a way of both calming and electrifying her, and now, in the aftermath of her audition, those feelings were amplified tenfold.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. “Your support means everything to me.”

Julius’s hand tightened around hers, his thumb brushing gently across her knuckles before he pulled away abruptly.

In that moment, the years they had spent apart seemed to melt away, replaced by a sense of connection that felt both familiar and thrillingly new. Hillary’s heart raced as she considered the possibilities that lay before them, the chance to rekindle what they had once shared and build something even stronger.

But as quickly as the thought had come, doubt began to creep in. What if too much time had passed? What if you’ve both changed too much to find your way back to each other?

“Good luck, Hillary.” Julius turned and walked away for the second time that day.

Could they make anything work for the sake of the premiere in a month?