5

"Now I only let me down."

Asher

I heard a tapping on the window before it became a pitter-patter. The clouds had moved over the school, changing the sky into a coal black. The rain doused the grass in water, making the lush green more prominent.

I placed my head in my hand as I looked toward the school entryway, wishing I was on my way home instead of trapped inside. This week has been draining, and it was only Tuesday. I battled to keep my eyes open as Mrs. Norbert droned on about living organisms.

"Are you paying attention, Mr. Hart?"

I could feel eyes on me, but I never removed my gaze from the window.

"Yes."

"Please enlighten me on what I was discussing."

"Some droning speech about living organisms."

Snickers infiltrated the classroom, but I didn't indulge them. The bell interrupted Mrs. Norbert's imminent lecture.

"Mr. Hart, a word?"

I sighed. She waited until all the kids were out of the class before speaking.

"Your grades are slipping."

She handed me a paper. Yesterday's quiz.

"The big, red D gives it away." I said, shoving the paper in my back pocket.

"This isn't a joke, Asher." She said. "It's college acceptance time, and you used to be the prime candidate."

My jaw clenched.

"That was a year ago," I said. "Things changed."

"You're ruining your chances of a bright future."

I clenched my fists at my side as my stomach churned at the unwanted memory.

"It got ruined ages ago."

I stormed out into the hallway, not apologizing to anyone I collided with. All I could see was red, and it was clouding my judgment. My impulsivity had always been my biggest flaw. It's gotten me into a lot of trouble over the years.

The hallways were too silent, as if the desolate space was echoing my thoughts - amplifying them. I needed to escape.

I braced myself against the bitter cold as the wind attacked me the moment I exited the building. There was still an hour of school left, but it was only gym. My life wouldn't spiral out of orbit for skipping one class.

I groaned as I looked for my truck in the parking lot, only to remember my parents repossessed it.

Guess I was walking.

I tucked my hands into my coat pocket, ignoring the brutal cold. The first snowfall was approaching and the weather here was unforgivable. Frigid air knocked away at my body warmth, but I preferred bracing the cold over being surrounded by people.

Exhaled air surrounded my face as if I'd just inhaled five cigarettes. A cloud of smoke blocked my vision with each step. I didn't know where my legs were taking me. It's as if I were being navigated by the wind, but the uncertainty was thrilling. I paused at the sound of children screeching, lifting my head to find the source of the noise.

Marshtown Middle School.

A group of boys were running around trying to wrestle each other. The shorter of the four tripped over invisible air, swallowing a healthy amount of grass. I snorted.

"Mom and Dad are going to kill you."

Gracie stood with her arms folded across her chest. Her knotted forehead was a regular look for her, as well as her scrunched freckled nose. She always looked like she was frowning.

"They won't find out."

"What if I tell?"

"I know you won't."

"How can you be so sure?"

I bent my knees so that I could be at eye level with her.

"You know all my secrets, and you've never told on me before."

Her shoulders dropped in defeat as if she was trying to gain the upper hand. She failed.

Girlish giggles distracted us as our heads turned to a group I recognized as Gracie's friends. I'd often been the victim of having to escort them to playdates and sleepovers.

"My friends think you're cute." She said before fake gagging. "So disgusting."

I cackled before reaching over to mess up her hair. She swatted my hand away.

"See you later, bug."

I made sure she entered the bus with her friends before continuing my stroll. I rubbed my hands together to generate some warmth as I arrived at the front gates of the park. The naked trees received a bath of dew, and in a few short days, they would be covered in snow.

Daylight faded, and it was only when the streetlights illuminated, that I realized how late it had gotten. I reached for my phone to check the time, but it was dead. I'm about to face the same fate.

The porch light was on, making me a direct target, as if the purpose was to expose me to my late-night antics. I tried to enter the home stealthily, but all the lights were on. I was busted.

"So happy you could come home."

My dad stood with his arms at his sides as if he were a general in the military. My mother was a few feet behind him with her arms folded across her chest.

"I would have been home sooner, but I had to walk, remember?"

I knew I shouldn't have said the words the moment they escaped my lips. My dad's forehead wrinkled up like a Sphynx cat.

"This isn't the time for jokes." He said. "Get ready for bed. We will talk about this in the morning."

"I look forward to it."

I bolted up the stairs, skipping one at a time, before whistling down the hallway.

"I tried to cover for you, but Dad figured it out."

Gracie's brittle voice was like a pin to my heart. It's as if she were afraid I was going to hate her for all of this. I sighed as she quivered under her doorway. I crouched down until we were at eye level.

"You did good, bug," I said. "This was my mess, not yours."

Duke, her miniature pinscher, whined from his place on her bed. I stood and nudged her into her room.

"Dad was furious." She said, jumping onto her bed. "He even did that veiny thing with his neck."

I chuckled. He always had a protruding vein on the right side of his neck whenever he got mad.

"He'll get over it." I said, patting Duke's head. "You need to get ready for bed, though."

She rolled her eyes and reached out her hand. Our secret handshake. It's a series of fist bumps and interlocked pinkies, but it's something we'd done since she was little. Our way of saying I've got you.

"Night, bug."

I leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead.

"Goodnight."

I switched off her bedroom light and stumbled to mine. The exhaustion had washed over me like a tsunami. I succumbed to the darkness.

??