41

"Don't you ask me if its love my dear."

Asher

The sun dipped low on the horizon. Summer was approaching and I couldn't be more excited. I worked on my truck, trying to fix it up for our summer road trip. Grease slicked my hands as I tinkered beneath the hood. The clinking of metal was like a relaxing stimulus, my moment of solitude.

I had my earphones in as I set my playlist to shuffle mode. The calming melody of Oasis pirouetted in my ear. James' favourite band.

The peace was short-lived, as Joshua stormed towards me and knocked my earphones to the ground.

"That was rude." I said, as I wiped my hands on the rag that was hanging from my back pocket.

Josh's expression was unreadable, as if a storm of emotions was brewing beneath the surface.

"We need to talk." He said, his voice low and menacing.

"Talk about what?"

"I don't have time for your games, Asher."

"There's nothing to talk about, Joshua." I said, reaching into my pocket for a cigarette. "You know how I feel about her."

My words seemed to ignite a spark of rage. With hateful eyes, he lunged forward, his fists swinging as his dormant emotions erupted. Surprised, I staggered backwards, dropping my cigarette. It caused my anger to rise to the surface. Before I could blink, we were engaged in a vicious struggle, our fists collided in a flurry of violence. We grappled with each other on the front lawn.

"Stop it, both of you!"

Our altercation was short-lived as our mother pleaded for us to separate. However, it was my dad's voice that caused me to let go of Josh.

"What is your problem, Asher?"

I turned to my father, my eyes blazing with fury. I'd spent months being my father's punching bag. He'd had my entire life planned out for me, and the moment I defied him, he turned on me. Joshua was his golden boy, and I was the washed-up and unwanted spare. I was done making excuses for him. Done defending him.

"What's your problem, dad?" I asked, my voice laced with venom. "You judge me as if you're not a washed-up father and husband."

The familial harmony had been cracked for a while and my accusation shattered it.

"Asher, don't say that to your father."

Her defending him was the end of the timer. I exploded.

"He cheated on you!" I said, the words escaped before I could stop them. "He's been cheating on you for months."

This wasn't how I wanted my mother to find out, but I'd been drowning in guilt. Choking on it. Everyone went silent, trying to register the betrayal that had festered beneath the surface of our family's facade. I gazed into my mother's eyes as I choked on the tears.

"I am so sorry, Mom." My voice was raw with pain and regret. "I wanted to tell you so many times, but I was so afraid of what would happen. I didn't mean for you to get hurt."

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she reached out to me, enveloping me in a comforting embrace.

"This is not your fault." She whispered to me.

I shook my head, my shoulders shaking with the weight of guilt.

"It is." I said. "I should have never kept this a secret."

She leaned her head back and brushed my tears away with her thumbs.

"You did what you thought was right."

Josh stepped in.

"Don't protect him, Mom." He said, his knuckles turned white. "He kept this from us the entire time."

"Joshua-"

"No." he said, interrupting our mother. "He knew dad was cheating and he let us all believe we were one happy family."

His words struck like a physical blow to the gut. I expected anger, but the raw intensity of Josh's accusation caught me off guard. I looked into the angered eyes of my father and brother, and the heartbroken ones of my mother and sister. It felt as if someone was squeezing my heart in their fist. I caused all this heartbreak. So, I did what I do best when things become too much to handle. I ran.

??

My emotions were in turmoil. The weight of my family's shattered trust was too much of a guilt trip for me to carry. My world crumbled, leading to my predicament. I balanced on the end of the vine as I tapped on the glass, yet it was barely audible against my booming thoughts. I needed a reprieve from it all. As if by some miracle, the window slid open, revealing the shocked face of the person who had become my solace.

"Asher?" Sawyer whispered, her voice soft with concern as she squinted her eyes in the darkness. "What are you doing here?"

I struggled to find the words to convey the storm raging within me. My throat tightened with emotion.

"I needed somewhere to escape, and you were the only person I thought of."

Without hesitation, she stepped back to make room for me to enter. My heart raced with a mixture of trepidation and anticipation as I stood in the familiar confines of her room. The air was heavy with unspoken tension. I hadn't seen her since I'd confessed my feelings to her at Ava's party. I wanted to bring it up. To tell her I'd meant it, but I couldn't. My pride and fear of rejection were too overbearing.

"Do you love Josh?" I asked, uncertain of why it escaped my lips.

"Yes."

The lack of hesitation made my heart cramp.

"Are you in love with him?" I had no idea why I asked. I didn't want to know the answer. Especially if she was in love with my brother. "You shouldn't be with him."

I'd interrupted her before she could answer me. I was too fearful of the answer. My heart had endured enough trampling for the night.

"Why don't you want me to date him?"

I wasn't sure if she was curious or clueless.

"He's not good enough for you. No one is."

"Not even you?"

"Especially me."

The weight of my feelings for her threatened to consume me. She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes.

"Asher, what has been going on with you?" She asked. "Your confession at the party took me by surprise. Was that another one of your bets?"

I shook my head so fast I thought it would shoot off like a cannon.

"That bet was stupid." I said. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

She folded her arms across her chest.

"That doesn't make it right." She said. "It's as if our entire relationship had been a lie."

"It wasn't. I promise you."

She slouched to the edge of her bed and placed her head in her hands.

"Why should I believe you?"

I took a tentative step forward until I knelt in front of her. She lifted her head when she sensed my presence.

"This is all on me." I said. "I made the bet, because I let jealousy get the best of me."

"What were you jealous of?"

I hesitated, searching for the courage to confess my feelings.

"I was jealous because my brother has your heart."

Before she could open her mouth, a sharp knock echoed through the room, scattering my mind like the leaves in the wind.

"Sawyer, can we please talk?"

I froze as the sound of my brother's voice filtered through the closed door. It was as if he'd knocked me back into reality. With a heavy sigh, I turned to face her with regretful eyes.

"I'll leave you both to talk."

She nodded in understanding. As I made my way to her window, a sense of desire gnawed at me. I wanted her to tell Joshua to leave. To ask me to stay so that we could sort things out. I wanted her to choose me. But she didn't.

I slipped into the night, leaving behind the girl that I loved. My confession meant nothing. Her heart belonged to my brother.