17

"'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares."

Asher

I was nursing a cup of punch as my gaze focused on the mix of the swirling crowd. My heart sank as I watched Josh take Sawyer's hand, leading her into the crowd. Even from the outskirts of the dancefloor, I could see her radiant smile. I tried to maintain a stoic expression as I watched the pair twirl and sway to the music. The dance felt endless. I lifted the cup to my lips to mask my scowl. Each smile was like a jab to my heart. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the devastating sight of the girl I liked in the arms of my brother.

"You're torturing yourself," Benjamin said with his cup of punch in his hand. He took a sip of his drink and scrunched his face as if he'd drank an entire glass of lemon juice. "Someone spiked the punch again."

I took a large gulp.

"It was me." I said as I kept my gaze on the couple.

"Warn me next time."

Joshua's lips moved as he said something to Sawyer. She threw her head back and laughed. Suddenly he's a comedian.

"Did you taste the spiked punch?" Liam questioned as he approached us.

"It was Asher," Benjamin said. "He's going through some stuff, it seems."

"Next time, try something lighter than vodka." Liam winced. "Some of us are lightweights."

As the song ended, I turned my attention to my empty cup. I took a deep breath to compose myself.

"Why don't you ask her to dance?"

I wanted to punch Benjamin for such an idiotic question. She hadn't spoken to me since I was rude to her that night on the sidewalk. I tried to talk to her countless times, but she always evaded me.

And there's the dare.My conscience reminded me. I'd dared my brother to ask out the girl I liked. I never thought he'd do it. This was all on me.

"I'm going home." I said, placing my cup on the nearest table.

"Don't be ridiculous." Liam placed his arm in front of me. "Dance with her."

I clenched my fists, trying to control the tsunami of emotions. Lost in thought, my eyes followed their movements as they joined his friends at the table. She was here with Josh, not me, and it was hard to accept.

You'd only ruin her. Like you do everything.

The room felt suffocating as the weight of my thoughts pressed down on me. I ran my fingers through my hair as the internal battle intensified. There was a struggle to approach her and steal her from my brother versus the belief that I was unworthy of her affection.

I became intrigued as they returned to the dancefloor, drawing closer to each other more than before. They locked eyes in a way that made me feel uneasy. My pupils dilated as I watched Josh lean in, capturing Sawyer's lips in a tender kiss. The surrounding noise became distant as I grappled with a mix of heartache and disappointment. I turned away and fled the scene, ignoring the calls of my friends.

I marched into the misty parking lot, not stopping until I reached my truck – my mother's bargaining chip to get me to the dance. The cool metal of the door handle felt frosty against my hand as I locked myself inside and rested my forehead against the steering wheel, trying to steady my uneven breaths. I messed up. The truck felt suffocating, even with open windows. I self-sabotaged again.

I knew there was no going back. I was stuck in this truck, grappling with regret. Watching time on my dashboard, I hoped for redemption beyond reach.

??

A variety of colours attracted the students like moths to light. Vibrant posters adorned every inch of wall space in the hallways. A fundraiser. I've always hated them. It's too much school spirit for my liking. To make matters worse, it was a fundraiser for the hockey team.

Benjamin inspected one that had a collage of musical instruments around the borders. His shoulders stiffened.

"Since when are we performing at the fundraiser?"

What?Sebastian scratched the back of his neck as our eyes turned to him.

"Stella asked us to help, so I said yes."

We all groaned and exchanged a mixture of apprehensive looks. I had no interest in the fundraiser, let alone the hockey team. Sebastian's always had a habit of falling fast, and it's not surprising that he buckled under the pressure.

"Fine," Liam sighed. "I'm in."

Of course he was. He had always been the people pleaser in our group. My jaw clenched as I stared resolutely ahead. Mine and Josh's relationship had been strained for months and I couldn't bring myself to help him out. Especially after the events at the dance. I hadn't spoken to him, avoiding him whenever we're both at home, but I heard through Gracie that Sawyer was his girlfriend now.

That's the main reason I want nothing to do with this fundraiser.

"Hockey sucks, and so does the team."

I froze in place as I caught sight of Sawyer at her locker, with Stella by her side. My palms grew clammy as they approached our group. Her eyes locked with mine with a combination of hesitation and longing.

"Hey." she said to me.

It was the first I'd heard her voice in weeks.

"Hey." My voice betrayed the nervousness I felt inside.

"It was nice of you to volunteer for this fundraiser." She said with a hint of a smile. "It means a lot since Stella and I have been struggling to set it all up."

Why did no one tell me Sawyer was planning it?

Benjamin was about to step in and open his big mouth, so I immediately placed my hand over it to shut him up.

"It's our pleasure," I said. "Anything to help the team."

Her eyes sparkled with a mix of delight and surprise. I ignored my friends' bewildered glances as if I'd sprouted a second head.

"I'll text you later to give you some more details."

Benjamin smacked me on my head. I winced and pressed my palm against the area.

"What was that for?"

They shook their heads in disbelief, their lips twitching as they fought to suppress a laugh.

"Suddenly, your school spirit is at an all-time high." Liam remarked, shaking his head in mock disapproval.

"Shut up."

I tried to play it cool, but the teasing heightened my embarrassment. I was usually reserved, but in this instance, I'd lost all control.

"We better meet up later for rehearsal," Sebastian said. "We only have a week."

As if the bell was listening in on our conversation, it rang, signalling for us to say our temporary goodbyes.

??