Eva’s Self-Reflection Journal

25 February 2019

Me: "Can you tell me a little bit about what happened to you today?"

Patient X: "Well, I was in a cab coming home and I began to feel...strange."

Me: "In what way strange?"

Patient X: "Terrified, I guess, without knowing why. I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. All the muscles in my throat constricted and I struggled to swallow. Later that night I woke up gasping, lying in the darkness listening to my own breathing."

Calm until now, Patient X appears agitated, arms wrapped across their chest, foot tapping the floor. Evidently, the experience is still making itself felt, a memory trapped physically.

Me: "It sounds to me like a panic attack. Sufferers are overwhelmed for no apparent reason with many of the symptoms you describe. But sometimes it comes from a deeper source. Why now? Can you tell me a bit more about what happened that evening, before you had your first one?"

Patient X: "I'd been seeing someone for a few months. We started fighting. They told me they wanted to end it. No warning. It was all over."

Me: "Did they let you know why?"

Patient X: "Just being me, I guess. I wasn't very—I mean, I struggle to be open, to be real with anyone, after everything I've been through."