Chapter thirty-two

Poppy

As I tossed and turned last night, I realized two things: First, Theo wasn’t running to my arms the moment he saw the statue. Second, I was still loved. The first thought made me want to hide under my covers and cry through Valentine’s Day. The second had me gathering my card-making supplies before the sun rose. I spread everything on the coffee table and grabbed a blanket to toss over my work if someone walked in when I was working on theirs. I tried not to think about how Theo and I had huddled under the same fluffy throw the night the tree fell on my studio.

I started with Mom and Rowan since they were the most likely to snoop and managed to get both cards finished before they got up. I shouldn’t have worried though. They had too many flower and cookie deliveries to give a second glance at what I was doing. They’d chugged some coffee and left after I assured Rowan that I could hand over the last of the cookies scheduled for pickup without cussing anyone out.

I had to stop often to answer the doorbell, but by noon I’d made enough progress to feel confident I’d finish all the cards in time. Around two o’clock, I looked out our front window and noticed Twill and Mrs. Adams chatting on the sidewalk. Most of their conversations were screamed across the street from their respective porches, so I was already a bit suspicious when a minivan pulled to the curb and Theo’s Fan Club climbed out.

“What the hell?”

I said, leaving Aiden’s card mid-cut to peer out the window.

I was about to open the door and ask them what they were doing when Theo walked through Twill’s yard with something small and black in his arms. Everyone moved aside to make a path for him to my house.

By this point, the senior citizens had noticed me in the window and were pointing. Theo looked up at the house, his face pale. Whatever was about to go down between us, I really didn’t want the entire art class watching. I half considered hiding in my room. Instead, I flung open the front door and leaned against the frame with my arms crossed over my chest. I’d have looked like a total badass in my combat boots. Instead, my furry Grinch slippers did nothing for my height or hard exterior. When Theo climbed the porch steps in his boots, he towered over me more than usual, which made me feel even smaller than I already did.

“Nice audience,”

I said, lifting my chin toward the sidewalk. “Afraid to see me by yourself?”

The faintest smile crossed his lips, and every nerve in my body lit up. Damn him and his pillowy pucker.

“Mr. Twillings heard I was coming to see you. I guess the news spread.”

Just then, the little black ball exploded from Theo’s arms, leaped through the air in a furry blaze, and shot past me into the house. For the first time since pre-K, I was in serious danger of wetting myself. Rowan had told me about the black squirrels in DC, but I’d never seen one. The creature was small enough to be a squirrel, though I couldn’t think of any reason why Theo would bring one to my house.

“Son of biscuit,”

I said, putting my hand on my chest where my heart thudded wildly. The squirrel thing let out a bark by my feet and my breath caught.

“You’re a dog,”

I said, kneeling to get a better look. It had a squished little face that looked like it belonged in the primate house at the zoo and a fluffy black coat that begged to be petted. I held out my hand for the dog to sniff, which it did before launching itself at me. Its silky fur brushed against my neck and cheek as it covered me in sloppy kisses.

My heart melted. It wiggled with excitement as I plopped my ass on the floor and buried my face in its fur.

“You’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,”

I cooed. The dog gave me what I can only describe as a doggy grin before jumping off my lap and zooming back to Theo.

“This is Holly,”

he said quietly, kneeling to pet her.

Holly. A plant with red berries. I’d always given Mom shit for naming my sister after a berry and not a flower, but she always insisted Rowan was still a red blossom like Rose or Poppy.

“Is she yours?” I asked.

He nodded.

He’d gotten a dog. Given how Skye helped him, he should have gotten one years ago. But he’d never allowed himself that bit of happiness. Until now. A surge of hope washed through me.

Holly let out a yip and shot off toward the dining room.

“She’s a curious little thing,”

he said, grabbing my hand and helping me to my feet.

It felt so good to touch him again, but I still didn’t know if he was here to ask me back to art class or his entire life. “Is her name really Holly?”

I asked, dropping his hand.

“It is now,”

he said with a smile that didn’t undo the sadness in his eyes that appeared when I broke our connection. “She was a Christmas puppy someone dropped at the pound. Apparently, she had too much attitude.”

Holly sprinted back into the living room. She sniffed every corner, her dark eyes bouncing from one thing to the next, her tail wagging in a blur.

“The little ones always do,”

I laughed nervously. “Will she always be small?”

He nodded. “She’s an Affenpinscher.”

It’d been a few years since my last high school German class, but I still remembered the word for monkey. “She’s a monkey pinscher?”

I said, trying not to laugh.

Theo shrugged. “She’s unique.”

“She’s perfect,” I said.

“She is,”

he said, looking at me instead of the dog, his dark eyes filled with a heat that made my stomach clench.

“What are they saying?”

Esther yelled.

“We can’t hear either,”

Gladys yelled back.

“Stop playing with the dog and get on with it, Theo,”

Esther yelled.

“I’m trying,”

he yelled, without pulling his molten gaze from me.

Okay, so he finally realized he could handle a pet and missed fucking me. That didn’t mean he was all in. And all in was the only way Theo and I could be together without my heart breaking over and over again. I cleared my throat. “I left you something in the studio. Did you see it?”

“It’s incredible,”

he said, softly. “I can’t believe you made it in a few days.”

“You knew I was working on something?”

He flashed me that rare smile of his, and my feet moved toward him on their own. My body, at least, was ready to jump back in, but my fragile heart begged my brain to take it slow. I stopped far enough away that he’d have to lean in to reach me.

“I checked your progress every night after you left,”

he said. “I know it was an invasion of your privacy, but I couldn’t stop myself. I thought it was the only way I could be close to you. And when I realized all your things were gone—”

He stepped closer and cupped my face in his hand. “I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms. I want to buy all the towels and furniture you want to make the house feel like a home not only for me, but for us. Because I never want to spend another day without you. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen, as long as you want me.”

My stomach danced with excitement, but I kept the joy from my face. As much as it hurt to admit, I knew loving each other wasn’t enough. “It’s going to take more than towels.”

He nodded. “I called Everly last night and told her I wanted to fight the misdemeanor and my previous conviction. And I just came from a consult with a therapist in Jericho who specializes in PTSD and panic attacks. I’m starting weekly sessions. I love you, Poppy. I’ll do whatever I can to be the man you deserve.”

I stepped back but gripped his hands. “I love you too, Theo. But there’s one more thing I need to know before we move forward.”

Behind him the seniors shifted restlessly in their orthotic shoes. I swear Twill was biting his nails.

“Do you think you’ll ever forgive yourself? You’re already the man I want. But you have the power to crush me. Any pain you inflict on yourself, I feel. Anytime you hate yourself, my heart breaks.”

“I’ll try.”

He let go of one of my hands to brush a strand of hair behind my ear, his thumb lingering on my face. “I can’t guarantee it will happen today or next week, but I promise I’ll keep trying. Because this,”

he said, pointing between us, “is worth fighting for.”

I let out a squeal that sounded an awful lot like Lauren or Cammie and leaped at him. Everyone on the sidewalk cheered. Holly barked and danced around Theo’s boots as I grabbed his face and kissed him.

“About dang time,”

Mrs. Adams yelled before high-fiving Gladys, Esther, and Millie.

A Peace Falls police car sped down Sullivan Street. Theo tensed when it stopped in front of us. The passenger door flung open, and Mr. Fitzwilliam climbed out with his phone held to his face. “Did we miss it?”

“Turn the camera around,”

Wilson’s voice yelled from the phone, which had to be at max volume. “I don’t want to see up your nose. I want to see Poppy and Theo.”

“You missed it,”

Twill said.

“I knew we should have used the sirens,”

Mr. Fitzwilliam said, glaring at the officer behind the wheel. He pointed a gnarled finger at the man. “My son will hear about this.”

He slammed the door closed, and the cruiser took off at a slower speed toward Main Street.

“Turn the camera around,”

Wilson yelled again.

“I don’t know how to do that.”

Mr. Fitzwilliam fumbled with the screen a few moments before he shuffled to the bottom of the porch steps and held up the phone with the screen facing us like John Cusack with a boombox.

“Sorry I couldn’t be there, sweetie,”

Wilson said. He was clearly at work with rows of pill bottles behind him and probably a line of customers at the counter waiting to be helped. “So, are you two back together?”

“Yes, sir,”

Theo said.

“And you’re working on yourself? Poppy deserves the best man you can be.”

Theo smiled at me. “I am.”

Wilson beamed at him, and my chest filled with so much warmth, I couldn’t stop the tears streaming down my face.

“Are you crying, Poppy?”

Mr. Fitzwilliam asked. His mouth hung open in shock.

“As I live and breathe,”

Mrs. Adams said, her voice breaking.

The entire Fan Club gave a collective sniff and even Twill rubbed at his eyes. Damn tears. I’d never hear the end of this.

Theo wrapped me in a hug before kissing me with so much passion Wilson asked Mr. Fitzwilliam to turn the phone away, and Holly howled as though her new friends were trying to devour each other, which I guess, in a way, we were.