Chapter sixteen

Theo

“I can’t wait for tomorrow,”

Aries said, drumming his hands at a jarring staccato on the counter.

“Big plans for the weekend?”

I asked. My first client couldn’t get here fast enough. I wanted to slam Aries’s hands against the wood to quiet the cutting flick of his wrists. It was too early for so much energy, especially after lying awake for hours worrying if I’d see Poppy in class tonight. She’d left my apology text on read for days, which I understood. She needed space. If she showed tonight, it meant I had a chance at keeping her friendship. If she didn’t, I’d know I’d lost the brightest part of my life.

“Yeah,”

Aries said, his hands finally resting on the counter. “So, um, what’s Poppy’s favorite restaurant in town that won’t eat half my paycheck?”

“What?”

I’d heard him fine, but I needed him to repeat it while I pinched my forearm hard enough to bruise, just in case I was still asleep and had slipped into my worst nightmare. The pain released some of the tension in my chest, but as soon as Aries opened his mouth and started talking, my lungs felt like they were being squeezed in a vise.

“I’m taking her to dinner tomorrow. I told her we were getting takeout and watching a Hitchcock film, but that feels a little too friend zone, you know what I mean? Plus, I realized I don’t have a TV. Inviting myself over to her house didn’t feel right. So, I figured we’d eat at a restaurant and see where the night takes us. That Church place looks nice. Is it any good?”

“It’s a bar,”

I gritted out.

“Yeah, but they serve food, right? The only other place within walking distance looks pricey. White tablecloths and shit.”

“Poppy has a car,”

Max said, stepping into the front and joining the conversation. He’d clearly been listening while he set up his station.

“Yeah,”

Aries said, scratching his neck like he’d just gotten stung by a mosquito in the middle of winter. “But I want to do this right. Having the girl drive on a date doesn’t sit well with me.”

“That’s fucking stupid,”

I snapped.

Max cleared his throat. “What Theo means is a woman like Poppy doesn’t care about that. She loves driving her hearse.”

Aries nodded, but then asked, “Is the food that bad at Church?”

“No,”

Max said, blowing out a breath. “But it’s a bar, son.”

Well, that hurt. In all the years I’d known him, Max had never called someone else son. I shouldn’t feel like I owned the word, but now I wondered what it really meant to Max if he’d attach it to Aries after only knowing him a short time. Guess it’s just a word he used with anyone he mentored.

“So what?”

Aries said, drawing himself up.

“You’re still new in your recovery. It’s best to avoid temptation.”

“Bet Theo went there when he got out.”

I did. The first night, actually. None of us were twenty-one, but Aiden’s big sister Fiona bought enough pitchers to get him and Cal hammered. When I didn’t drink, they accepted it without comment. I ate my weight in fried food before making sure they had sober rides home since my license had been revoked. Then I texted a girl I’d known in high school and spent the rest of the night and the morning releasing a year’s worth of sexual tension before Max arrived at Marked.

“See those Xs on his hands,”

Max said, pointing at me.

“So, if I scribble some straight-edged shit on me I can take a date to Church?”

“I have them so people don’t ask why I don’t drink.”

And, when I first got them, to remind myself not to screw around when I wanted to let off steam.

“Yeah, I get that, but what does that have to do with me and Poppy?”

Hearing him put their names together broke something inside me. “Because I was never an addict, you fucking tweaker.”

“Outside,”

Max said, grabbing my arm and dragging me out the door just as my one o’clock arrived for his session. “He’ll be right back,”

Max shouted over his shoulder.

“Thanks for the great first impression with a new client,”

I said once he released me.

He took a few steps back. That wasn’t normal. Max leaned into conflict, at least with me. He recognized, early on, that sometimes all I needed was a hand on my shoulder to calm down. Either he wanted to beat the crap out of me, or he figured whatever he was about to say would set me off. He looked up at the gray sky and took a deep breath like he was trying to channel the Holy Spirit. “You need to man up,”

he said finally.

“What does that mean?”

“The way I see it, you’ve got two problems. Let’s get the easy one out of the way. You’re acting like a firstborn brat. Mia couldn’t stand Charlotte when we brought her home from the hospital.”

“Are you really comparing me to a three-year-old?”

“It fits,”

Max said. “Mia’s anger was really fear. Fear that we didn’t love her as much. Fear that she wasn’t the center of our universe anymore.”

“She wasn’t,”

I said with a shrug. “I’m sure that hurt like hell.”

“Spoken like an only child,”

Max said with a laugh. “My point is, eventually Mia realized Charlotte wasn’t going anywhere. So, she adapted. She grew. Now she takes pride in being the best big sister she can. It brings tears to my eyes when I see her being so patient with Charlotte. And Charlotte tests that patience on the regular. Toddlers ain’t for the weak, man. But Mia keeps growing, keeps treating her the way she wants to be treated.”

“You want me to stop being a dick to Aries. Got it.”

“No,”

he said. “I want you to recognize that Aries isn’t a threat. He can’t replace you. Not with me, not with anyone. And if you just took your head out of your ass, you’d realize you have something to give that kid.”

“Then why are you standing ten feet away like I’m contagious or something?”

Max seemed to deflate right there on the sidewalk. His shoulders curled down, and he stared at the cement instead of me. “Because what you said to Aries felt personal. To me. I know that’s not what you meant, but being an addict is something I’ll carry for the rest of my life. You judged him. And it felt like you were judging me. My temper threatened to get the better of me.”

“I wasn’t,”

I said. “I—”

“Need to deal with your second problem,”

he said, straightening. “Man up and tell Poppy you’re in love with her or step aside.”

“It’s not about manning up, Max. You know why I live the way I do.”

Max nodded. “For the record, I’ve never agreed with it. But it’s your life, your journey. I’d have let you stay in that dump upstairs another decade if Aries didn’t need the place. Sure, I wanted you to live somewhere nicer, but more than that I wanted you to stop hating yourself enough to want it. A better place. A better life. But you’re not just hurting yourself anymore, Theo. It stops being noble when your pain hurts someone else. It’s plain wrong. You’re better than that. So, drop the guilt and love that girl with everything you have or step aside so someone else can. Now get over here.”

I erased the space between us and pulled him into a crushing hug. He pounded my back a few times, cleared his throat, and stepped back.

“I wasn’t thinking about you when I said that to Aries,”

I said. “I’m sorry, and I know it was out of line. I’ll apologize to him.”

Max nodded. “And for future reference, Aries was a pill popper. I was the tweaker. We’re both alcoholics though, so drunk jabs are a two-for-one.”

He smirked, and I knew he’d already started to forgive me. I, on the other hand, would feel like a piece of shit for a while.

Max wiped at his eyes. “Client’s waiting. I’ll get him settled. Say what you need to say to Aries first. Everything you need to say.”

He walked inside without elaborating and ushered my client to the back. I shuffled over to the counter where Aries was laser-focused on neatening a stack of after-care sheets.

“I owe you an apology,” I said.

He nodded, still not meeting my eyes.

“And an explanation.”

That got his attention. He looked up and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms. “I’m listening.”

“My feelings for Poppy aren’t platonic.”

Aries laughed, sharp and loud. “No shit,”

he said, once he’d gotten himself under control. “So, which was it? Were you two a thing and stayed friends after or did she friend zone you?”

“Neither,”

I said. “The truth is, I thought we should only be friends.”

“You friend zoned her?”

he said, raising his eyebrows. “Dude, she’s got to be the hottest chick in this town.”

I nod. “And one of the nicest,”

I said. “She’s also talented and unique and bold.”

“So your type is an ugly, basic bitch, extra heavy on the bitch?”

“I said I thought we should be friends. Not that I didn’t want to be more.”

Aries nodded. “I see how it is. You realized you wanted her after I made a move. Well, sorry, my man, but you snooze you lose.”

No. I’d wanted her the moment I saw her. Her friendship was more than I deserved, and I’d treasured every moment of it. I could handle being in love with her without being with her, barely. But Max was right. If only being friends hurt her, I couldn’t justify my place in her life.

I’d been lying to myself thinking we could go back to the way things were after we’d sampled what we could be together. We could only be more or nothing at all. The thought of losing her filled me with a pain so big, I couldn’t imagine a way through it. And I didn’t want to. “Shouldn’t that be for Poppy to decide?”

Aries shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t mind sharing. I’m just looking to have fun, if you know what I mean.”

The mere suggestion of her being with someone like Aries filled me with an intense anger I’d never experienced before. I imagined how satisfying it would be to smash his face against the counter.

“Your client is ready,”

Max shouted from the back, startling us both. I unclenched my fists and took a deep breath. “Poppy is not someone you mess around with, Aries. If all you want is a good time, find someone else.”

“Or what?”

he said, stepping around the counter and into my space.

The guy had balls; I’d give him that. I was at least half a foot taller than him and had a good thirty more pounds of muscle. “Or I tell Max and ask him if he wants to beat your ass or if I can have the privilege.”

Aries stepped back, but his face was still red with rage. “Like you said, it’s not up to us. Let’s see who Poppy wants. You stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours.”

“Smartest thing you’ve said all day.”

I stormed to the back before I said or did something that would disappoint Max again.