Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Landon

Listen to We Are Never Getting Back Together

by Taylor Swift

I ’d gotten the reality show.

By the time I finished speaking with the casting agent, I was practically shaking with nerves and excitement. It had been a while since I heard back so I figured I hadn’t gotten the job. With the distraction of my personal life blowing up, I forgot to be depressed, but now I was told the job was mine if I wanted it.

I headed home while my brain exploded with the info. I needed to contact an agent to look over the contracts, and go into the studio for some pictures and meet the other cast members. There was an informational meeting with the producers on what to expect on Friday. I was finally moving forward in my career and the victory was sweet.

I quickly called Elle, who was still with Daisy and Gabby, and had her put me on speaker so I could tell them the news. They screamed and congratulated me. I loved basking in the celebration with people I loved. When we hung up, I thought over who I wanted to tell next.

Adam came to mind immediately, but I hesitated. Not only was our relationship screwed up, I didn’t even know what we were doing together. Plus, he’d been vocal about my chasing bad opportunities like reality tv, so he probably wouldn’t approve.

Max was the second person. Sadness leaked through. He’d been by my side for so long, it felt weird not to share this breakthrough. He’d always supported my career, believing I’d finally break out, and now we weren’t even speaking.

I thought about calling my mom, but couldn’t handle the endless questions. I also didn’t want to know if she was drunk at this hour. Not knowing was so much better for the land of denial.

My father would mock me. Hell, my father wouldn’t even answer the phone. I bet my stepsister would think it’s cool but we never spoke.

How odd to finally face the question of who mattered in life. It seemed my friends and this group were my real family. Could I afford to lose any of them from the fallout with me and Max?

I was nearing home, sifting through a bunch of emotions, when the text came.

Can we talk? I promise I won’t be a dick. I can meet you anywhere.

It was as if the universe pushed Max and I together for a reason. I bit my lip, going over the options, and texted back on impulse.

Meet me at the café by my house.

I immediately got the thumbs up emoji.

I waited for him at the back table, sipping a cappuccino. He came in looking rumbled and sexy, his thick hair falling messy over his brow, dressed in a tank that showed his defined arms and work out shorts emphasizing his tight ass. His gaze pinned me immediately, those blue eyes filled with a humbled anguish as he took a seat across the table.

“Hi. Thanks for seeing me.”

I nodded. I wanted to be mad, but an image of me in Adam’s bed dampened my temper. Seemed as if we’d both hurt each other in ways that would be unforgivable. “I heard you spoke with Gabby last night.”

He winced. “Yeah, I was a wreck. I needed some advice and none of your other friends would talk to me.”

“And you’re surprised? After what you pulled?”

“Landon, I’m sorry about last night. I lost my mind a bit but there’s no excuse.”

“It was fucked up, Max. You have no right being mad at me, or telling me what to do, or who to see. We are never getting back together.”

The Taylor Swift lyrics screamed in my brain. I tensed, preparing for him to plead his case and go another go around, but he gave a sigh, resting his hands on the sticky table as if in surrender.

“I know.”

I raised my brow.

“I was an idiot to think you can forgive me for cheating. You’re not that type of girl. So, what I’m asking for is simple. A chance for friendship. You mean a lot to me, and so does our group. Is there a way you can forgive me enough to move forward and still hang out? I know it’s a lot to ask right now, and you may need time. But I can’t imagine losing you from my life. You’re too important.”

His words touched me deep, and I half closed my eyes as I battled raw emotion. I still loved Max, and now he was saying the exact words I needed. Could I forgive him and be his friend? I know it would take time to rebuild trust. But Max came attached with Coop and Noah and Adam, and Elle and Daisy were my sisters. The girls were choosing me now, but how long could we all avoid merging the group together? How long could Elle be mad at Coop and refuse to hang with Max? Eventually, we’d crack and the stress of our conflict would overflow to everyone.

Another reason to keep Adam a secret. If we even continued to see each other.

I let out a long sigh. “I don’t know. I’d like that, though. But you have to accept that I don’t belong to you anymore. There can’t be blow outs or fights at work, or if I decide to bring another guy with me when we go out. How can I trust you?”

“I’ll show you,” he said simply. “I’m asking for a chance. I can never make up for cheating on you—I’ll have to live with that. But I can do better moving forward as your friend and someone who will always love you. Because I do, Landon. I will love you forever.”

I broke my gaze and stared down at my coffee. Uneasiness shifted inside at his confession. I thought of Adam’s mouth between my thighs and my screams as I came over and over from his rough touch. My cheeks heated and I cleared my throat. “I don’t want to hate you,” I whispered. “I’d like to move forward, too. I don’t want the group to break up over us.”

“Me either.” A tentative smile curved his lips. “Thank you. I promise I won’t fuck things up. Even if it’s hard, I’ll let you go. I want you to be happy.”

His words rang with truth. I found myself spilling out my news.

“I got a call back from that reality show, Dumped . I got the part.”

His face broke into a delighted expression. “Are you kidding me? That’s great, baby—I mean, that’s great! Holy crap, tell me everything.”

I told him what I knew, and blossomed under his enthusiasm and compliments. “When do you start filming?” he asked.

“Not sure. The location is at some rundown farm upstate. I’ll get all the details later in the week.”

“Amazing. You’re heading to tv land and Adam is heading to LA. Who knows what will happen next for all of us?” He leaned forward, locking his gaze on mine. “That’s why we can’t lose each other. I believe in you and want to be part of your success. And I’ll prove it day by day. I promise.”

His vow held an undertone of something more, but I was too overwhelmed to try and unpack his true intention. I wanted us to move forward, even though the sting was still new. I had my own secrets and knew it would devastate Max if he ever found out.

“I’m willing to try.”

“How about Friday night?”

I blinked. “What?”

“Adam’s performing with the band in the Village. Would be cool for all of us to go support him. I can show you this can all work for us.”

Uneasiness stirred. Was it too soon? I was fresh from Adam’s bed, and neither of us had talked about when we’d see each other again. But how much time did we have left to all be together? Max was right—I’d be away shooting the show, and Adam would be gone. Maybe this was a good time to cement the new dynamics between us. I thought about how it would feel to see Max with another girl, which would probably happen no matter how many vows of friendship he gave. The probe hurt, but didn’t wound. Of course, I wouldn’t like seeing him with anyone other than me, but it was more of a pride thing.

Better to test things now than later, so I could decide what I’d be able to handle.

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

Max grinned. “Thanks, Landon. You’re incredible. I’ll let Adam and the other guys know. You can call the girls.”

I wondered how Adam would respond after hearing Max and I were trying to be cool with each other. Would Adam be jealous? Did he even care? My body may have belonged to him last night, but we hadn’t given each other any promises, even though I’d shared things inside me that I’d never told anyone else.

We needed to have a serious talk. Figure out what we wanted to do. I didn’t like the idea of Adam believing I was sleeping with him to get revenge on Max, and we’d never cleared any of it up.

I’d talk to Adam before Friday and tell him everything.