Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Adam

Listen to Love Somebody Else

by lovelytheband

“ H ey, everything okay? You’re quieter than usual.”

I looked at Gabby, whose gaze was way too shrewd as she studied my face. Since her declaration about Landon being in love with me, she hadn’t mentioned it again. She sensed something had gone down in the hotel between us, especially since I spent the rest of the weekend avoiding Landon and watching her climb all over Max.

Of course, I was just as guilty. Kissing Gabby while I stared at Landon was fucked up. I knew Landon had gone back to the bedroom and fucked Max, but I guaranteed she was thinking of me the whole time. Since we were all high, Gabby never brought up the kiss, which made me feel better. I didn’t want to use Gabby as a stand-in for Landon. Sure, we could’ve easily had sex, but we connected more as friends, and it was easier to keep our relationship in that lane. Things were already too complicated.

“Yeah, just burnt out from practice.” I forced a grin and took a swig of beer. We were grabbing a quick lunch before she had to clock in at Red. Since Atlantic City, we’d all disappeared in work for a while. Coop scored a big photo shoot after doing the stint at Red; Max got a modeling gig; Noah had back-to-back DJ jobs; and I’d been practicing with Unison. We were almost done with recording, and then we’d hit it hard with shows before heading to LA for three weeks. Things were moving fast, as JJ had warned me.

I enjoyed hanging with the guys from Unison, but I felt like an outsider. The band had been tight for the past two years, trying to make it big, and that made for some strong bonds.

Our dynamics were good—I’d never been able to get along with some of the other bands I tried to sign on with but Xavier, Lance, and Seb were good guys and super laid back. I decided to step back from Landon, and the rest of our group to get my head screwed back right and stop panting after a woman who didn’t really want me. Oh, she wanted to fuck me. But want me? Nah—Max was too perfect for her to blow up her world. I didn’t even blame her. I wouldn’t do it for me, either. It wasn’t like I promised her a future.

After our interaction in AC, and the kiss that ruined me, I swore on a Bible I would stop.

It was too dangerous. The moment her lips met mine, and I devoured her sweet taste, felt her body melt and burn under my hands, it was all over. I would’ve given my soul to drag her to my room, strip her naked, and fuck her sweet, slow, and savage. I craved to make her come so many times under my tongue and fingers, she’d beg me to stop. I needed to imprint myself on her skin, my dick so deep in her wet pussy she’d never think of what it felt like before me.

But all those fantasies were just that. Fantasies. I lived in the real world, and if I didn’t stop the madness, I’d splinter the group and the friendships I really did care about.

Especially after hanging with Unison, I realized how my friends got me. Coop, Noah, Daisy, Elle, Landon, and Max understood my rhythms, my silences, my creativity. Sure, we fought, and I thought Max was an entitled asshole, but he cared in his own way. After AC, he called and admitted he’d been a bit of a dick lately—that he was happy about Unison but had been worried I’d replace them for my new band and he’d been feeling left out.

The admission both surprised and touched me. He wasn’t the emotional type, but he kind of poured his heart out, telling me I was important to him and that he didn’t want to lose my friendship.

Days before I’d had my tongue in his girlfriend’s mouth.

It was then I swore it was over.

This time, I meant it.

I re-focused on Gabby, who was asking a question. “You happy with the way the songs are turning out?”

I nodded, plucking a fry from my pile. “Yeah. There’s two I compromised on but I think that’s where I messed up in the past. I always want things my way, but working with a band isn’t about that.”

She gave a cheeky grin. “Are you growing up, Adam?”

I laughed. “About time, huh? One of my favorites is the one with Elle. JJ asked if she’d sing it with us when we tour some of the local places.”

“That’s so damn cool.”

“Enough about me. What’s next with The Drip site?”

“I signed up a few cold clients to test things out so I’m excited.” We chatted about the plans for her business and once again, I was impressed with Gabby’s savvy. If only I had that elusive connection with her, I think she’d be a great fit. But even with that kiss at the club, I felt nothing other than surface physical arousal. Not that intense burn that fired up my body, mind, and soul. Landon had been the only one in my life to elicit such a reaction.

We finished lunch and ordered cappuccinos. The waiter dropped them off and suddenly, Gabby’s face changed to a hesitant expression. My muscles tensed as I waited for her to speak.

“Landon’s moving in with Max this upcoming weekend.”

I pushed through the sick feeling in my stomach and reminded myself it was a good thing. Maybe if I let the possibility of us go, she’d be happy with Max. Maybe it was my ego that told me she belonged with me. “That’s great. Coop and Elle are talking about it, too. Guess that leaves me and you as the singles.”

“Adam, do you trust me?”

I blinked. “Sure.”

“Then will you just be real for once? I know you’re in love with Landon, and I think she’s in love with you. And I’m not here to judge, or lecture, or be anything else than a friend you can talk to. Because I see you being torn apart by this and it’s time you deal with the situation.”

Shock funneled through me. I never thought she’d push the issue. I stared at her, trying to decipher if it was gossip or if she really was into Max, but I only spotted honest care. Something softened inside me, and I ached to tell her. God knows, I was used to building walls and keeping shit to myself on a regular basis. The truth about Landon had been blistering for a long time. Was it wrong to want to feel a bit of relief by sharing my secret? I hadn’t known Gabby for long, but my gut told me she was trustworthy.

I gave one final test. “Why? Because you want Max for yourself or revenge on Landon for being such a bitch?”

Gabby rolled her eyes and gave a dramatic sigh. “No, you idiot. I have no interest in Max and I told you I like Landon now. This is about you. Everyone else froze me out but from the first, you welcomed me into this group. You were real and nice and I’ve never had a male friend who didn’t want to fuck me, which is really cool.” She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “It would be nice to return the favor and be here for you. To talk.”

The comfort of her hand on mine was a funny thing. I was used to touch, of course, but usually it was impersonal, or strictly for sex. Rarely friendship. Sure, I was tight with Elle and Daisy but their main go-tos were Coop and Noah. Gabby and I had begun as equals. I liked having someone for myself.

So, I said fuck it and took the leap.

“Landon and I have a thing. A crazy-ass connection that I’ve never experienced before, and I’m pretty sure she hasn’t. From the first, she was after Max so I stepped back, but we can’t seem to stay away from each other. Which is so fucked up.”

“Lead me up to what happened in AC,” she said calmly.

I did. I told her about our interactions without the TMI sex details, and all the way up to the kiss. I dumped it all out and Gabby listened without being judgy or with fake concern. She nodded and encouraged.

Finally, I finished and collapsed back in the hard chair. I felt lighter, as if a weight had been lifted. “Do you think I’m a dick?” I asked half-jokingly.

“Nope. Neither is Landon. You can’t help who you fall for,” Gabby said with a shrug. “The real issue is if she’s decided to go full in with Max, the door isn’t just closed. It’s locked.”

I tapped the edge of the empty coffee mug. “I know. That’s why I pulled back these past two weeks with everyone. Sure, it’s work, but I wanted to give us a bit of distance.”

“Can you do it?”

“Let her go?” I pondered the question and probed my heart for the true answer. “I don’t want to. She’s like this drug where if I can get a tiny hit, I’m good for a while.”

“What about Max? Do you think she loves him?”

Weren’t there different types of love? Some messy and savage and painful. Some sweet and tender and safe. I had no idea how Landon really felt about him; I only sensed she was comfortable with Max. He was safe. The memory of the way she kissed me back flickered bright and hot. Like she’d been waiting for me to unleash her in the ways she deserved. “I don’t know,” I said.

Gabby looked at me for a long time. Her eyes gleamed with intensity when she finally spoke. “If you could have Landon freely, by her choice, would you go for it?”

I thought about Landon seeking me out; picking me; surrendering fully to everything I could give her. I thought about the fallout from the group, from Max, and how nothing would ever be the same. I thought about the future, and if Landon and I had a chance of making it after such a risk, or if we’d tear each other apart in the aftermath.

The answer came as easily as my next breath. “Yeah. I’d go full out for her.”

Slowly, she smiled. A strange foreboding washed over me at her expression. “Good,” she said softly.

“It’s not good, Gabby. Because she made her choice, and I’m tired of the roller coaster. I’m out this time. I have to be.”

“I know. I’m sorry this has been so hard, Adam. The whole thing sucks ass, but I also believe if you two are meant to be together, nothing will keep you apart. And if not? Someone or something else will pull you away, like your music. Or another woman. It still sucks, but it will be okay. I believe that. And until then, you have me. I’ll help in any way you need.”

She was right. Eventually, all things pass. My father’s abuse. My teen depression and rage. Jobs, and friendships, and love all passed and only left memories—either bad or good. What we did with them was our choices. I had a choice to feed the beast or step back and enjoy where my life and music was going to take me.

Better to leave it to Fate.

Better to let Landon go, along with what could be. To trust there’d be someone for me down the line.

“Thanks, Gabby. You helped more than you know.”

“I’m glad. Just make sure I get VIP treatment at your concerts, okay?”

She smiled and I smiled back and I knew I’d done the right thing by opening up. I felt like I was getting a chance to reset by having someone understand what was going on. “Done.”

“Are you going to Noah’s gig Friday night? It’s been two weeks since we all saw each other.”

“I’ll be there.” I didn’t intend to blow off Noah’s success. He’d scored a spot at a top-rated club that would be huge for him. And it was time to see Landon face to face. To accept her and Max were together and it wasn’t meant to be for us. I was tired of being angry and frustrated over what-ifs. I’d treated her like shit in AC and blamed her for responding to my kiss, but we were only going in circles.

I was finally getting off the ride and Gabby was here if I needed her.

“Good. I have a feeling it’s going to be an epic night.”

I didn’t understand the sparkle of excitement dancing in her eyes but I let it go.

Later on, I’d ask myself over and over if I could have stopped what happened next.