Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Landon

Listen to Heaven

by Niall Horan

I crashed into him, and he caught me by the shoulders so I didn’t fall on my ass.

My chin jerked up, and I felt my cheeks flush at the full body to body contact. I always seemed to be distracted and running into him somewhere; as if the universe was playing a joke at my expense.

“Sorry,” we both muttered at the same time.

I noticed he removed his hands quickly, like he’d been burned. We stared at each other in the hallway of the hotel, the air stretched with discomfort. I tried not to be greedy with my gaze as I took in his tight jeans, stretched, worn t-shirt, and the expanse of tanned, corded arms with gorgeous ink scrolled over his skin. His jaw held stubble, and his dark hair was mussed, as if tousled by a woman’s fingers. He looked like he’d rolled out of bed, freshly fucked. I wondered if he had. Wondered if Gabby looked the same, then refused to think about it.

“Where’s Gabby?” I asked, needing to break the silence.

“Getting a coffee. The ride sucked. Lots of traffic.”

“Yeah, beach traffic is the worst. We hit an accident on our way here so we sat for a while, not moving.”

He lifted his brow as if mocking my inane conversation and I snapped back to myself. What was I cowering for? Sure, we’d had a physical interaction but no kissing, just words. I’d chosen Max. Adam was with Gabby or whoever else he wanted to play with. The slate was clean. “Congrats on Unison. I think it was a great pick. Seems to suit you.”

“Yeah. The band is good. Did you hear the song Elle’s singing with us? Noah’s getting credit on the lyrics, too.”

I tried to ignore the curling heat in my belly at the thought of the song. Elle had sent me a clip to hear. It was about an unrequited love with all the feels. I imagined Adam’s husky, tender voice matching with the smooth velvet of Elle’s. Noah’s music began with a quiet, bittersweet piano and then built to a crescendo, reminding me of Lady Gaga’s song Shallow from the movie, A Star is Born . It was one of my favorites and I’d watched it over and over. Listening to the song made me feel vulnerable, as if a secret had been spilled.

Our secret.

Of course, that was ridiculous. It was just a song. It meant nothing and wasn’t about us. There wasn’t even an us .

I forced a casual smile. “It was beautiful. I’m excited for her. For both of you.”

Another brow raise. “Really? You’ve changed your stance on me being a sellout now?”

Irritation rose. He could never let me be nice and leave it alone. “No, I still think you’re a sellout, but I can be happy for your success. I’m not a complete bitch like you think.”

His chuckle scraped across my ears, rough and low. “Thanks for the approval, from one sellout to another.”

I cocked my head at the barb. “I’ve never sold out.”

“You’re the queen of sellouts, princess. I told you that before.”

I squirmed, wanting to punch him. “I happen to love Max. Moving in was a good decision for us.”

“Not talking about Max.”

I glared. “Then what?”

“Reality television. Influencing. Modeling. You’re chasing fame, which is fine.” He shrugged. “It’s your life. But I always thought your real passion was writing. Didn’t you write some sort of column at a magazine before you graduated?”

My jaw dropped. “Writing a few articles doesn’t make me a writer. Why would you think that’s what I really wanted?”

“Max said you journal regularly. You wrote something on Wattpad for a while and got a bunch of positive comments. Plus, your social media captions are pretty bad ass. I think you’ve been pushing to be in front of the camera, but maybe you’re meant to be behind it. Writing the content.”

Shock flooded through me. How did he know so much about my private life? Sure, Max teased me about my journals, which was my bedtime habit, but he why had he told Adam? I had enjoyed my stint at the magazine but I was just playing around to get some extra resume credit. Wattpad was a silly hobby that I’d given up once I doubled my effort to break out with my social media and modeling.

But why did Adam’s attention and compliment give me so much pleasure? As if he was the only one who scratched beneath my surface and lingered, looking for clues of who I really am. Max never asked about it. Neither did my friends. Everyone took what I said at face value.

Except Adam.

I kept my casual vibe even though my heart was beating hard. “I think you’re reaching for things that don’t exist. Just because I like to write as a hobby, doesn’t mean I want that as a career. You looking for another reason to give me crap?”

“Whatever. Like I said, it’s your life. I better get to my room.”

I’d been dismissed.

God, I hated his arrogance—always thinking he was better than me. My temper spiked and all my good intentions to be cool and casual evaporated. I hissed out my words. “Oh, I get it. Perfectly okay to use Gabby’s connections to blow up your career. Perfectly okay to sell out on your standards to get your slice of fame. But if I try to do it? I’m settling.”

He narrowed his gaze with dangerous intensity. “I’m compromising for the bigger picture,” he said tightly. “It’s called being a grown up. And Gabriella always had the goal to be a huge influencer—she’s been working it for a while. You’re all over the place, putting a little effort here, a little there. Look, if you want to take a bunch of pretty pictures for the next decade and chase reality shows, go ahead. I’m not stopping you.”

“You wouldn’t stop me anyway! That’s the stupidest comment I ever heard. Who are you to judge me? Why am I always your target, huh? I don’t hear you giving this shit to Elle, who decided to record a song with you instead of act. Or is that another reasonable compromise?”

He leaned in and practically bared his teeth. “She’s still going after her dream, and so am I. What’s your dream, princess? Do you even have the guts to own one?”

I shook my head and curled my fingers into tight fists. “There’s the Adam I know. You’re such an egocentric asshole. You think because you’re with a big band now you’re hot shit and can lord it over the rest of us. Well, life’s not that neat, music man. There’s nothing wrong with modeling or getting a tv stint to gain exposure. Max is completely supportive. He thinks it’s genius.”

He sneered. “That’s because Max knows nothing about what you really want. He’s spent his whole life settling.”

My jaw unhinged. The words hit hard, pinching like bee stings. “He knows me better than anyone. He knows me better than you!”

His breath rushed over my lips; heated dark eyes fastened on mine. “Keep telling yourself that. Maybe you’ll believe it.”

Rage blurred my vision. I reached out to push him away, but ended up gripping his shoulders, my head thrown back. I hated him. Hated his full lips and his perfect square jaw covered with stubble. Hated his endless black eyes that burned into me and promised everything I’d ever dreamed about. He was pure temptation; Satan’s spawn; and I refused to give in. I loved Max. Max was the one I was meant to be with.

“Why do you hate Max? He’s supposed to be your friend,” I managed to spit out.

“I don’t hate Max. He is my friend.”

“Bullshit.”

He clenched his jaw and his muscles bunched under my fingers. I squeezed tighter to punish him but he barely registered the pressure. “You think just because I want to fuck you, I hate Max? Hell, no, princess. You’re perfect together. I toast you both every night I climb into my bed and fuck somebody else.”

I went on my tiptoes and growled. “Good. Because when I fuck Max every night, I remind myself how lucky I am.”

We stared at one another, lips inches away, breathing hard, the air crackling with hate and lust and so much volatile emotion, I wouldn’t be surprised if we both exploded. With rough hands, he grabbed my hips and lifted me up, eyes glittering with dark intention.

“If you were mine, I’d spank your pretty little ass until you use that mouth for something better.”

Heat exploded between my thighs. My lips parted, stunned by his words, humiliated by my body’s immediate reaction.

“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he whispered.

“I hate you.”

“Right back atcha, princess.”

His mouth slammed over mine.

The kiss was brutal and erotic and everything I ever dreamed of. Those soft, firm lips took what he wanted, nipping my bottom lip until I opened up, and then his tongue surged inside and claimed me.

My toes curled and I reached for more, widening my mouth for each hungry, demanding thrust. I’d never been kissed like this; like I had no space to breathe or think other than give him what he wanted. A thrilling excitement burned through my nerve endings, and I grabbed at his hair, pulling at the strands by his nape, so turned on I knew if he slipped his fingers under my panties I’d come immediately.

I arched into him. He cupped my ass and forced my thighs to cradle his erection, and for the first time in my life, I wanted to sink to my knees, take him in my mouth, and do whatever he told me. Be whoever he wanted. Give him anything; everything.

He broke off the kiss, panting hard, eyes glazed with lust and something more. “Landon.”

I shuddered at the sound of my name, and softened against him, not wanting to fight anymore.

I said the only word I knew as my brain froze.

“Yes.”

He sucked in his breath and lowered his head again.

The elevator dinged and the doors swished open.