Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Work had turned out well,mostly because I didn’t see Alyssa once. I had completed all my work on time and had actually gotten ahead on next week’s list of tasks. Granted, I had kept my head down, the door shut, and my mind trained off of all things Adam and Alyssa. It had gone so well, I decided to treat myself to a nice dinner.

I had been wanting to try out Fleming’s ever since moving back, and tonight was as good a time as any to indulge.

I perused over the dessert menu slowly, trying to decide if I had room for anything after the incredible steak dinner I’d had, while enjoying the chic ambiance the restaurant offered. The glass of wine paired perfectly with a day’s work well done, and I was all set to have a peaceful evening to myself.

But fate had other plans, it would seem.

“Fancy seeing you here,” a familiar voice called, drawing my attention from my menu to the dark eyes of none other than one Adam Stone.

“Adam,” I breathed out in surprise.

“May I join you?” he asked, his hand perched on the back of the seat opposite me. Glancing around the room, I realized I didn’t have a valid reason to say no. If I were being honest with myself, I missed his company. With a nod, I allowed him to take his seat.

After only a few moments of awkwardness, and an order of dessert and drinks for each of us, we settled into a surprisingly easy conversation. There was no talk of kink, of our relationship, or of what had happened. It was simple and easy.

I shifted in my seat, my stomach feeling overly full from the delicious food, and winced as the pain in my ass flared up again.

“Having trouble?” he asked with a smirk, his glass of scotch poised halfway to his lips.

“It’s nothing.” Immediately, I lowered my eyes to my plate, pushing the remnants of my dinner back and forth, avoiding his eye contact fastidiously.

“Okay, now I’m intrigued. What has you squirming over there?” He leaned forward, his elbows on the table, as he smiled at me.

“It’s nothing, Adam.” I brushed him off with a wave of my hand, lifting my water to my lips, still avoiding eye contact like the plague.

“Please tell me?” His voice drew my eyes to his, almost against my will. I couldn’t resist him.

“I tried going to another club last night. Club Aurora. I wanted to see if I could find a community there instead.” Why was I so worried about his reaction?

Because you still think of him as your Daddy, you idiot.

“Instead of at Obsidian?” His words were emotionless.

“Yes.”

“And what happened there?” His eyes met mine; dark, brooding, and narrowed with suspicion.

“I don’t know —”

“Don’t play that game with me. You are squirming in your seat like your ass took a beating, and —” His eyes widened as I did just that.

With a growl, he slid back from the table.

Pulling his wallet out of his pocket, Adam threw a wad of cash on the table, standing and holding a hand out to me.

“What are you doing?” I asked, confused.

“We are leaving. Now.” It wasn’t a request. It was a full on command. And while he might not be my Daddy anymore, I still found myself unable to resist taking his hand. Silently, with waves of rage radiating off of him like heat, he escorted me out of the restaurant into the chilly evening air.

“My car is over this way,” I pointed over in the opposite direction of where he was leading me. Silently, he continued on, his firm hand at the small of my back. “Adam, my car is over there,” I repeated. Stopping just before we reached his car, he turned to me.

“You are coming home with me.” Again, it wasn’t a request.

“Adam, there’s no need to overreact —” I cut off on a hiss of pain as his hand grabbed my ass, not even roughly, but enough to cause the welts on my sensitive skin to flare with pain again..

“I am not overreacting. Get in the car, Willow.” His stern voice and narrowed eyes forestalled any response I could have made. With a brief nod, I let him open the passenger door and guide me into the car. He buckled me in, causing a pang of longing to shoot through me, then took his seat without a word.

The drive to his home was a quick one, although it felt longer with the deafening silence that surrounded us. He pulled into his garage without a word, throwing the car in park. I knew better than to open my own door. Our time together had taught me that doing so would only further anger him.

“Come with me.” With a hand on my elbow, he guided me into the house. He led me to the staircase, guiding me upstairs and into his bedroom instead of the playroom, where we usually spent our time.

Another time, this would have thrilled me. As it was, I felt ashamed, although I wasn’t sure why. It was over. So why did it matter?

The door to his room shut with a loud thud, making me jump.

“Explain,” he huffed angrily, crossing his arms and staring at the floor.

“Adam, this isn’t necessary. I only —”

“Explain. Now.” The tone was unmistakable. I did not have the power to deny him.

“I went to Aurora last night, like I said. It didn’t go well. The littles room was completely empty, and pretty much everyone was playing or talking out in the main area,” I began.

“Go on,” he urged me, still refusing to make eye contact, or even look up from that spot on the floor.

“So after a little while, I saw a familiar face.” Immediately, his head snapped up, his eyes finding mine with an angry gaze.

“Who?” It wasn’t really a question; a terse inquisition, at best. Still, I could not deny him his demands.

“Adam, I —” But I couldn’t get another word out as he rushed over to me, his hands gripping my upper arms roughly.

“Tell me it wasn’t Ragnar.” I stood there in shock as he seethed with anger. “Tell me!” He shook me once, roughly.

“Adam, you’re scaring me,” I whispered, my lower lip quivering as it all hit me.

“Jesus, Willow, I’m sorry,” he said, immediately releasing me, stepping back, running what looked to be a shaky hand through his thick hair. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I wasn’t trying to scare you. But the thought of Ragnar—”

“It wasn’t Ragnar, Adam. It was Nathan,” I quickly explained.

“Nathan, who is — Wait, that guy from Obsidian? The one who was talking to you in the little’s room?” His fingers clenched into fists, but he was far less angry than he had been at the thought of Ragnar touching me.

“Yes, that’s him.”

“And what happened?”

“Adam, I don’t really think we need to get into this.”

“What. Happened?” He seethed, his arms crossing once more.

“He struck up a conversation with me, and at first it was fine. He was nice. It was loud and crowded, so we went somewhere quieter. He had a coloring book with him and offered to let me color.” I stopped short at the sound of his growl, but he did not try to speak. “He told me not to color outside the lines—”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. But he did. And I just got too excited, and I colored outside the lines, so he…” I trailed off, not wanting to admit to him what had happened.

“Don’t you dare stop there. What happened?” He muttered through clenched teeth.

I faltered, not wanting to admit the truth. With a snap of his fingers, he brought me back to attention, though my eyes still refused to meet his.

“Tell me, Willow. Now.”

“He punished me,” I barely breathed out in a whisper.

“Mother FUCKER!” The roared curse, mixed with the crashing sound of a fist meeting the wall, made me jump with shock and fear. Punch after punch rained down as he attacked the wall next to the door until there was a large hole where a pretty, neutral painted wall once stood.

I watched in stunned silence as Adam struggled to regain control. Hands fisted against the broken wall, his breaths came in heaving pants as he tried to regulate.

“Show me,” he muttered under his breath, so softly I couldn’t make out the words.

“I don’t think—”

“Now.” Even as his voice raised in anger, I knew it wasn’t directed at me. In all my years of knowing him, I had never known him to be a violent man. He was protective to a fault, but never violent with those he loved.

I immediately pushed away the glimmer of emotion that flickered with the thought of Adam loving me. That wasn’t what we had. Not then, and certainly not now. He turned to me as my fingers found the waistband of my leggings. Tugging them down carefully over my sore bottom, I turned away from him. At least I wouldn’t have to see his face when he saw the damage Nathan had done.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he swore under his breath, though I had no trouble hearing him that time.

Quickly, I tugged my pants and panties back up.

“Don’t.” The word was sharp, but there was a tinge of something else beneath the thinly veiled anger. It took me a moment to identify it.

Guilt.

“Adam, I am okay.” Without a word, he was there at my side, gently guiding me to the bed.

“This is hard for me, Willow.”

“What is?”

“This. I don’t know where we are, or what you want from this now.”

“I don’t know that there is a this anymore, Adam.”

“Would you listen to what I want from this? Would you give me that?”

“Okay.” I breathed.

“I want to give you care so badly now, I think I might die if I don’t get the opportunity to give it to you.”

“What?”

“Willow, you went to a different club, and a man took advantage of you.” I could hear him struggling to remain calm.

“I know.”

“You say know, but you kept it from me.”

“I didn’t want to keep it from you. But what was I supposed to do?” I tried hard to keep my tone from being whiny and little. It was still so easy to go to that place with him.

“You were supposed to come to me right away! Hell, if I’m being honest, you were—” he stopped short.

“I was what?”

“You weren’t ever supposed to be at another club without me. If I had been there, this never would have happened.”

“Adam, that’s not fair.”

“You were taken advantage of!”

“I handled the situation.”

“Your beet red ass would beg to differ,” he scoffed. “Will you please allow me to care for your wounds, at the very least?” His kindness moved me. Nodding my head, I allowed him to grab the cream from his cabinet, then he laid me out on the bed on my tummy so he could rub the cream into my sore, aching bottom. His tenderness nearly brought tears to my eyes.

“Thank you,” I whispered as I righted my clothing, turning to sit next to him on the bed again.

“Why did you go there, Willow?” he asked with such soft sadness it tore at me.

“I didn’t know what to do with the lonely feeling in my heart.”

“You should have come to me. And for the record, I will deal with Nathan.” His voice nearly growled at the man’s name, and I smirked. “What’s so funny about that?”

“Well, I already did.”

“You did?”

“Yes. I was quite proud of myself, actually. As soon as I got out of that room, I found a Dungeon Monitor and told them everything that had happened. They reported it to Club Obsidian as well. So, I doubt we will see him again.”

“I’m proud of you, prin — er, Willow.” He stopped himself from leaning in to kiss my forehead. I felt the pang of longing and loss tear at my chest. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to not call you princess?” he sighed heavily.

“Adam… I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Why not?” His earnest questioning tugged at my heartstrings.

“Because I can’t be the reason you and Alyssa are at odds. I don’t think I could forgive myself for coming between the two of you, especially since she is the only family you have left,” I explained. It felt hard to breathe, the longing making my chest tighten so painfully.

“Before I took you home, I asked Alyssa to stay at the house so we could talk. Once you were home safe, I sat down with her and explained everything. She was caught off guard, walking in on us like that, and I helped her process her feelings. I also made it very clear that it wasn’t appropriate to barge in unannounced, regardless of the situation, unless it’s an emergency. So we wouldn’t need to worry about that in the future.”

“So she knows what we’ve…” I trailed off, not wanting to say the words aloud. The idea of my high school best friend knowing the intimate details of my kink relationship with her father filled me with embarrassment and shame.

“She knows about me, Willow. She knows who I am, and what I am looking for in a relationship.”

“I just… I don’t know how this could ever work, long term. I basically grew up in this house, Adam.”

“God, I hate that you aren’t calling me Daddy,” he sighed, shaking his head. “That’s the point, though, Willow. You grew up. Alyssa grew up. We are all adults. And the two of us, you and me, we are consenting adults in this relationship. It has nothing to do with Alyssa.”

“I doubt she feels the same.”

“Alyssa can draw her own conclusions, but I will not allow my adult daughter to dictate who I love or how I choose to spend my life.”

I sat there in shock, reeling after the admission he had made.

He loves me?

“Yes, I said what I said, and I did not misspeak. I choose who I love, and who I want to be with. I choose the kind of relationship I want to have. I choose what fulfills and sustains me. And you, Willow Ashford, are the person who I am falling in love with, for the first time since my wife died. You are the woman who fulfills me and sustains me. Nothing makes me happier than you calling me Daddy, and being able to give you care. There is nothing I want more than that.” His earnest and heartwarming words should have given me everything I needed. I should have been leaping into his arms. So why wasn’t I?

I felt frozen by uncertainty as desire and fear warred in my chest. I wasn’t sure I could believe him, though part of me knew I should. But I wasn’t sure I was ready to break up a family. And until I figured that out, I had no idea what to say to him. I wanted to speak, but the words felt stuck in my throat.

“I’m not here to force you into a decision, Willow. But you needed to know the truth. You can’t truly make a choice if you aren’t fully informed,” Adam said with a sigh, running his hand through his thick, wavy hair.

“I know you’re not trying to pressure me, it’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ll give you as much time as you need. But, Willow?” he asked, drawing my eyes back up to his. “Let me be abundantly clear. I want this with you. I want you to be here with me. Nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing you in your little outfits, being princess for me. Nothing fulfills me more than giving you care. And this isn’t about getting my dick wet. If that’s all I wanted, I could go find a fuck-buddy with no problem. I choose you. I want to be with you. No matter what anyone else says. I’ve made my choice.”

My breath caught as every word from his mouth hit me like a ton of bricks. My heart thundered in my chest, and I almost felt dizzy..

His eyes searched mine. It was all I could do to not lean in and kiss him.

“So, the ball is in your court, Willow. Make your choice.”

“I… I understand. I need to… I need to think about everything. I just need some time.” I stood and began moving towards the door slowly. They were the hardest steps I’d ever taken.

What are you doing, Willow? This man bares his heart to you, tells you he loves you, that he wants to be with you, and you’re just going to walk away?

There was nothing I wanted more than to say yes to him. To be his princess and let him be my Daddy. It felt right in a way that nothing else ever had before. But there were so many unknowns, so many questions I didn’t have the answers to. My heart, my very soul, felt like it was ripping in two, pulled in opposite directions. It was too much. It was too big.

Big problems are just a group of small problems you haven’t broken down into achievable tasks yet.

My Mother’s words rang in my head like thunder. This problem felt so big, so insurmountable, but it was really just a bunch of small problems. My friendship with Alyssa. Her relationship with Adam. Going public with my lifestyle if I moved in with him. How this would all affect my professional life. All of these problems piled up in my head until it felt insurmountable.

But could I handle those small problems, each on their own? I paused in the doorway, paralyzed by fear and indecision. I felt like a wire stretched to the breaking point, and the slightest breeze would cause me to snap. I just didn’t know what it would look like when I did.

“Willow…” Adam’s voice, soft and gentle, full of pain, and just as full of understanding and care, rolled over me like a tsunami over a life raft. It broke through all of my resistances, all of my fears and questions. It laid me bare and struck to the very heart of me. To the deepest truth; the one I could not deny. I wanted this. I wanted him.

I wanted my Daddy.

“I’m scared,” I whispered, still not trusting myself to turn and face him.

“I know. I know, and it’s okay to be scared. But be scared with me. Trust me enough to let me guide both of us through this,” he urged earnestly.

“I don’t know if I can,” I whispered, my hand still frozen on the doorknob.

“Trust me. Trust me to have your best interests at heart, love. I promise I won’t let you fall.”

Taking a deep breath, with tears welling in my eyes, I could no longer deny the truth of what I wanted. I could no longer deny him..

“Okay,” I murmured so softly he surely could not have heard me.

“What?”

“Okay,” I repeated, a little louder.

“Okay, you want this, or…” he trailed off. The hope in his voice nearly broke down every wall I had erected.

“Okay, I want this,” I said, turning towards him. “I want this. I want you. I want–” I cut myself off, almost afraid to say the words.

“Say it, love. Tell me your truth.”

“I want my Daddy. I want to be Daddy’s princess,” I said, my eyes finding his, seeing them just as misty with unshed tears as my own.

“Then come home, princess. Come to Daddy,” he replied in a voice thick with emotion, and held his arms open wide.

Before I had time to think any more about my fears and worries, I crossed back across the room and threw myself into his arms, bowling him back across the bed. Our lips met in an inferno of fiery passion that even the tears flowing freely from my eyes could not quench.

“Daddy… oh Daddy… I want — I need…” I rambled incoherently, unable to form words around the boulder lodged in my throat at the thought of what I had almost lost forever.

“I know, princess. I know. Daddy is here. It’s okay, baby girl. I’ve got you.”

I’m not sure how long we laid there together before I drifted off to sleep. All I knew was that I was in my Daddy’s arms again.

And his arms felt like home.