Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Gage

Apparently, planning a Christmas party with a fire station full of rowdy adults was like trying to wrangle a bunch of goldfish into a net at the county fair—nearly fucking impossible.

As funny as it was to watch poor Ellie running around while trying to make sure everyone was signed up for at least one duty for the party, I also kind of felt bad for her. As our resident mother hen, she was probably the only one keeping us all from showing up with five raw turkeys, two side dishes and a hodge-podge of weirdly cut paper snowflakes tossed around.

“Wait, so who’s in charge of the decorations now?” Jase rested his hands on his hips while he squinted at the bulletin board that was freshly tacked with the new list. “It can’t just be me. There’s no way I’m putting all that shit up by myself.”

With Quinn snickering behind him and catching a stray slug to the arm, Jase turned to look over his shoulder at our party planner extraordinaire with his brow raised high.

“You’ve got Mark helping you out, too.” Ellie had her usual clipboard in her hand, a pen tucked behind her ear to hold back a few stray pieces of hair while another one was in her hand ticking off something on the sheet in front of her. “I can throw Cyrus in there if you really need the extra manpower.”

“Woah, woah.” Hawke slapped his thighs while hiking himself up to his feet from where he’d been lounging against the steel bumper of one of the fire trucks. “We got dibs on the Scot. McWhiney over there can have someone else.”

“You’ve got plenty of people on set up duty, dude,” Jase argued.

“Dibs,” Hawke repeated, a sly grin forming on his face.

Oh, if only Xavier were here to see all of this go down.

He’d be doubled over by now, laughing his ass off while ribbing me for having coworkers that loved to argue over a damn Christmas party. Having him here among the chaos would’ve been a nice change of pace, even if he’d have no fucking clue what was going on half the time.

I’d had plenty of good times with his coworkers off in Cali when I’d gone over for aerial training. Too bad he wouldn’t get the same opportunity with mine.

“ Station Twenty-One,” a voice over the intercom sounded off. “ Engine fifty-seven, respond to a multiple motor vehicle accident on Fifteen and Broad.”

“Let’s move!” Captain Clarke’s voice boomed. “On-call, gear up! Standby, keep your walkies live!”

As I lifted myself up from where I’d settled down on the floor, the entire fire station came alive all in a flurry of calculated motion. Hustling over to my section to start passing out gear to the ones on duty today, my mind slipped into a straight-lined sense of focus, my hands busying themselves with unstrapping items from the wall in order to pass off to people.

This part of the job, while seemingly inconsequential, was one of the most important that a station had. Getting it wrong—such as gearing up a fellow coworker incorrectly—could be the difference between life and death in a dangerous situation.

Here, we took that shit seriously, no matter how much of a pain prep was at the ass crack of dawn.

Zander was the first one over to me after getting his coveralls on, Cyrus following close behind to the section next to me where Carmen was at. I tossed him a helmet, waiting for him to slip it on over his head and adjust it before handing off the rest of his gear and getting him suited up for the ride over.

He saluted me and jogged over to the fire truck, hopping up onto one of the metal rungs along with the rest of our on-call crew once they were geared up as well. The truck’s engine rumbled to life, breathing a sense of excitement back into the otherwise quiet firehouse from just moments ago.

While this job had led to a lot of heartbreak in past times, the adrenaline rush was unmatched.

Things around here could change in an instant. From us arguing about party details, to moving into action, to potentially saving someone’s life, all with the quick flip of a switch and our Captain at the helm of our well-oiled machine.

Our crew here were among the best and brightest in our entire state, and every damn time they were out in the field saving the people of our city, they made me fucking proud to be among them.

How could I not be when we were all a tight-knit family that kept each other safe in the face of danger?

Once the doors were lifted from the inside, the truck was navigated carefully out onto the street and soon disappeared, roaring off to whatever was waiting for them out there.

“Nice work, team,” Captain Clarke said, the energy around us calming instantly as the garage was slowly pulled back down. “I’ll keep an ear on the radio in case they call for backup.”

The skeleton crew left behind all murmured our agreements before slowly dispersing back to our usual duties. With dispatch only calling for a single truck, that meant that whatever wreck our station was walking into was more than likely a minor fender-bender.

Per Louisiana law, though, we were required to be on scene on the off chance that something happened like a gas tank explosion or someone needing the Jaws of Life to get out or their totaled vehicle.

Other than that, hopefully it was going to be an easy day today.

“You still good for the potluck, Gage?” Ellie asked, making her way over to me.

“As long as you’re good with me not cooking.” The last thing anyone wanted me around was an oven. Or worse, a stove.

She squinted. With no clipboard in hand for her to tap her pen against, she resorted to using her hand for her nervous habit. “As long as it’s still from that scratch kitchen you were talking about.”

“Yup.”

She breathed out a sigh of relief. “Okay, cool. Since you’re all set, all I need to worry about is sorting out the knock-down crew.”

“Let them fight over it,” I suggested. “They’ll figure it out.”

She smiled in amusement. “I think you have too much faith in them if you believe they’ll be able to bicker and come to an agreement.”

“Hey, we need to let the kids figure it out for themselves once in a while.”

That had her laughing which warmed my heart. I hated seeing Ellie stressed, even if it was for something minor like a Christmas party.

“All right, true. Hey, you know, if you wanted to invite your man to come around for the get together, I’m sure everyone would be good with it.”

“Wait, really?” Now, that was a little surprising. “You know he’s in a different state, right?” I arched a brow at her.

Not to mention none of my coworkers had ever met the man before. It wasn’t like we were going out to the bar and Xavier was tagging along. This would be an intimate get together with all of our families present.

Was that really the kind of thing that I could take a ‘date’ to?

Every year we did something for the holidays and every year, I went stag. It wasn’t ever something that I’d cared about, mostly since for the past few years I’d had at least someone single to hang out with who wouldn’t be tangled up in the romantic festivities.

Apparently, I’d missed the memo, though, because this year, I’d be the only one left without a date. Besides, Ellie that is. She’d be running around making sure everyone was staying on their best behavior.

Ellie frowned. “You guys aren’t going to see each other for Christmas? I know you’re long distance, but that kind of sucks, if that’s the case. He doesn’t want to fly out or anything?”

Holding back from making a face was rather difficult.

We’d actually never had the discussion as of yet. Probably because I’d been avoiding the subject altogether ever since Xavier had brought up coming to see me with Dexter for his college tour soon.

Having him stay with me was already feeling like a ‘too good to be true’ scenario after our month’s long dry spell and jeopardizing that by getting down on my hands and knees and begging him to come to a Christmas party with me felt like asking too much of him.

Just because we’d been dating for almost an entire year didn’t exactly give me the green light in having him fork over precious time he could be spending with his son before graduation hit. They’d only just started working out their issues with each other.

Guilting Xavier into spending time with me over the holidays because I was missing having my own family around felt kind of… well, wrong.

“Yeah… I’m not too sure about that,” I said.

Ellie’s frown deepened. “Tell me the boys are at least coming home?”

Ugh, another sore subject.

With still no word from either of them on what their plans were, I was left in total limbo. Hounding them for an answer was only going to make them dig their feet in—something I absolutely did not want to encourage.

I felt like we were already at a delicate state in our relationship, and given the fact that I was trying to tread lightly on the whole older brother/guardian thing while giving them the freedom in doing what they wanted now that they were fully grown adults, I already teetered on the ‘overbearing’ edge of the scale.

There were too many factors that could happen in me pushing them further away from me, even if unintentional. No matter what Xavier said, the multiple times he’d reassured me otherwise and that all of this was me simply getting caught up in my head and causing me to over think my brothers pulling away from me. My gut was telling me—or rather screaming at me—otherwise.

Trusting my instincts on this one was the best thing I could do. I had to be okay with the fact that they’d come back to me eventually, as all good things did once you set them free. A little bit of hands-off parenting wouldn’t chase them away, no matter how crazy I felt inside of my own head over it.

At least, I hoped that was the damn case. I was kind of running around blind here.

How the hell did normal parents deal with this kind of shit on a daily basis?

Did it get easier with multiple kids?

It had to, right?

That’s why people usually had a whole gaggle of them. By the time you got down to the fourth or fifth one, you were a pro at saying goodbye and the feeling of your heart absolutely being ripped out of your chest.

I felt a hand pat me on the shoulder, bringing me out of my thoughts. “You’re doing that thing again.”

“Shit, sorry, Ellie. The boys kind of have me wound up recently.”

She smiled sympathetically. “My boyfriend has a kid who just turned sixteen and is in that wonderful rebellious phase. He says it gets easier.”

“Wait, you’ve got a new man? Since when?” What the hell have I been missing?

She laughed. “It’s a relatively recent thing, so relax. I’m planning on bringing him to the party. He’ll need another newbie to bond with, so get your guy to come keep him company.”

Sighing, I said, “I’ll think about it.”

Think being the keyword there.

She nudged an elbow into my ribs gently. “I really hope you do. Every time I see you on your phone, you light up. It’d be nice to finally meet the person keeping our Gage happy.”

Damn.

Well, wasn’t that the sweetest thing I’d ever heard.

“Thanks, Ellie.”

She winked at me before sauntering off to find her next victim, most likely in the form of Hawke, who’d she would hoodwink into letting her take Cyrus away and shoving him over into decorating for the party because of Jase’s bitching.

Turning back to the bulletin board where all of our names were up on the duty sheet, I got lost in thinking. Maybe I really should try to invite Xavier to the Christmas party.

He’d probably say no and that was okay. Extending the offer was the least I could do, though. I would hate for him to find out after I let it slip that I had the opportunity to invite him and just didn’t. If the situation were reversed, I’d feel hurt, too.

Besides, the worst he could tell me in the end was that he was planning on spending Christmas back home with Dexter.

Pulling my phone out of my vest and flipping it over, I noticed a text message already waiting for me. I’d missed the sound of the notification going off in the midst of the chaos in sending off my coworkers.

Opening it up, I saw Xavier’s name at the top and his message directly underneath.

Call me.