Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Gage

Stupid fucking idiot.

The mantra I’d been chanting to myself over the past three hours since coming back from lunch.

Seriously, could I ruin a more perfect moment with my dumbass insecurities?

Xavier’s wonderful news should’ve had me jumping over the fucking moon to hear, yet all I’d focused on was the way his face had looked when he’d joked about getting married to me.

That’s because he doesn’t want to marry you.

A groan bubbled up my throat. Picking up the gear bag at my feet, I launched it across the training room, over to where the other ones were stacked.

Why the hell did I care if Xavier didn’t want to marry me?

His first marriage had gone to shit, so there were plenty of reasons to not want to do that again.

Sure, it would be different if he was married to someone he was actually attracted to, but sometimes people didn’t want to chance it. That didn’t mean that that person wasn’t in love with their partner. It just meant they had reservations about legally binding their life to another’s.

“You good in here?” Quinn wandered into the room.

“Yep.” I chucked another bag across the room. “What’s up?”

“You’re making a lot of noise in here. Thought I might have to come rescue you from the pile burying you alive.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, if only.”

I’d welcome a fucking tower of gear falling on top of me right now and taking me out. It’d save me the damn embarrassment of having to go back home after this and face my boyfriend and his confused expressions while I tried to pretend none of this ever happened.

Why I felt the need to get all up in my feelings about a hypothetical situation was beyond me. We’d never discussed marriage before this—never even had the option on the damn table. The second that door was no longer there, though, I’d gotten butt hurt about it.

And for what?

To torture myself?

Xavier and I were good . We were happy .

Why couldn’t that be enough for my stupid ass brain to comprehend?

“Uh oh.” Quinn planted himself right on top of the next bag before I could grab it. “Trouble in paradise?”

Annoyed, I said, “Can you move?”

“Not until you spill the beans, Torres.”

“Quinn,” I growled.

He simply flashed me a pleasant smile. “Come on, you know you want to tell me.”

“Don’t you have someone else to pick on?”

“Nah, it’s his day off. So I need to fill the void somehow.”

This was so fucking typical of him. If he didn’t have Jase around to bug, he’d sniff out the weakest link in the chain until he found someone to attach to for the rest of the day. Which just so happened to be me.

Honestly, I didn’t have much fight left in me. I was already exhausted from doing mental gymnastics in my head, trying to convince myself that I wasn’t crazy in feeling justified over my reaction to Xavier, while at the same time feeling bad about it.

What did that say about me?

About us?

He had enough on his plate to deal with without me adding to it with my stupid lovesick heart bleeding at the mere possibility that marriage wasn’t in our future. He hadn’t said it out loud but his face had told me plenty.

Wandering over to one of the metal chairs set back against the wall, I flopped down onto it while I leaned forward and rested my head in my hands. Overthinking was my specialty.

And when it came to Xavier?

Forget it. I was cooked.

“Come on, man. Talk to me,” Quinn said.

“You can’t tell anyone.”

“Uh…”

Rolling my eyes, I said. “Besides Jase.”

“You got yourself a deal.”

I sighed, my gaze directed at the floor. “So, my boyfriend’s up from California visiting and earlier when I went home for lunch, he and I got to talking about some things. And... I don’t know. I guess I took it a little more personally than he probably meant it to come across.”

“I’m loving the cryptic way you’re telling me this, Torres.”

Ugh.

I let my hands drop from my head when I lifted it up. “We got onto the topic of marriage.”

His brows shot up to his hairline. “Wow, congrats. That’s pretty serious.”

“Yeah, except he laughed in my face about it.”

“Yikes.”

“I feel like a total idiot. This is the first time it was ever brought up and I froze. He was joking around about it. Meanwhile, I took it seriously and got my own feelings hurt.”

“Hmm.” Quinn leaned back on the bag, his body shifting slightly. He ran one of his hands over his jaw a few times while he chose his words carefully. “So what exactly did he say to you? I’m just trying to get the full picture here.”

“Apparently, his kid was saying that after a year, you should really start thinking about marriage. And I guess Xavier found that kind of funny and joked with me about it.”

“Did he say he didn’t want to get married?”

“Well, he’s been married before.”

“That’s not exactly answering my question,” Quinn said.

“His face told me plenty.”

“I think I see what’s going on.” He lifted himself up from the bag and headed over to me, hands on his hips. “You got all up in your head again.”

That had me frowning.

He went on. “Gage, you gotta stop doing that. You’re getting your own feelings hurt and there’s probably no reason for it. What if he does want marriage in the future?”

“You should’ve seen his face, man. It wasn’t—he thought it was ridiculous.”

“Maybe you just filled in the blanks for him,” he suggested.

Frustration was rising in my chest.

It felt like I was talking in circles. I knew what I saw when I was watching Xavier talk to me about it. His tone, the way he phrased things. All of it, coupled with his expression when he’d asked me if I thought about marriage was like all one big joke to him.

Why wouldn’t it be when the last time he was bound to someone legally, it ended in a flaming pile of shit?

If I were in Xavier’s shoes, I’d run for the damn hills anytime someone mentioned the ‘M’ word to me.

“Yo! Gage!” Zander’s face appeared in the doorway. “You got a couple of guests out here waiting for you.”

My stomach flipped.

Probably Xavier here with Dexter to tour the place.

Now that his son knew we were dating, he was probably going around on a grand tour of all my usual spots. On any other normal day, I’d be hyped to show them both around the place I spent ninety-nine percent of my time at.

Today, I was tempted to hide in the bathroom and beg Quinn and Zander to make up some excuse as to why I wasn’t here.

Dragging myself up from my chair with a sigh, I shuffled out to the hallway and followed Zander back to the main garage. A few of my coworkers were all gathered around one of the front side doors, most likely welcoming Xavier and Dexter in.

Captain Clarke was nowhere to be seen, which was out of the norm for him when it came to new guests at the fire station. Usually, he was first on scene.

Quinn slapped his hands on my shoulders from behind me and steered me toward the group, speeding me up from how I’d been dragging my feet along the concrete floor. As soon as we reached them, the group parted, smiling faces all turning to face me.

In the middle of it all was not my boyfriend and his teenaged kid.

But my own brothers .

Instantly, my eyes began to water. “What the...”

“Surprise!” Asher grinned, throwing his arms around me first. Over his shoulder, I could see Greyson smiling at us in amusement, holding a medium-sized box in his arms.

I wrapped Asher up in a tight hug, not believing that he was actually here in the damn flesh. That either of them were.

“When the hell did you guys get in?” I said. “When did you get time off?”

And how the hell did they coordinate behind my back?

As Asher pulled away, he stepped to the side while snagging the box from his brother’s hold. Greyson came next, hugging me tight enough to practically snap my bones in half.

“We wanted to surprise you,” he said in my ear.

Well, they sure as hell succeeded.

Out of any kind of surprise they could’ve given me, this was by far the best one. I’d spent the last two weeks lamenting about spending the holidays by myself and here these two were—conspiring behind my back like the lovable little shits they were.

Greyson stepped back from our hug, a wide smile resting on his face. His hair was longer and shaggier than when I last saw him, while his brother’s was shaved back to a military cut.

They both looked good.

Happy.

Healthy.

Just how I’d wanted them to be.

“Aw, a happy family reunion!” Ellie clapped. “The Captain’s going to be thrilled. You guys are coming to the Christmas party, right?”

The twins exchanged a look.

“Is there free food?” Asher asked. “If so, count me in.”

“Ditto,” his brother quickly replied.

“Hey, my kinda guys.” Quinn offered them both a high five.

“Funny,” I said and then nodded to the box. “What’s all that?”

Asher hid behind his twin. “You can’t open it until Christmas.”

Oh boy... that didn’t give off a foreboding feeling or anything. The last time my brothers surprised me with something and refused to let me open it until Christmas morning, I’d gotten a lovely prank spring-loaded whipped pie to the face and two newly turned teenagers cackling endlessly while they recorded the entire thing.

Now that they were actually adults with real adult money, I couldn’t even imagine what was waiting for me inside of that mystery box.

“We’ve got our bags outside,” Greyson said, gesturing to the side door. “We took a rideshare here from the airport.”

“I can’t believe you two got your flights to come in at the same time and got all the way here without me knowing.” As much as I was impressed with their planning, I was damn proud, too. Look how independent I’d taught them to be!

“Ash’s plane didn’t get in for a few hours, so I was stuck waiting in one of the terminal chairs.” Greyson raised his hands above his head, stretching long enough that there was an audible pop that had his body relaxing instantly. “I can’t wait to sleep in an actual bed for once.”

Oh shit.

“Uh, actually...” Fuck, I totally forgot about my guests. “That might be a problem.”

Asher laughed. “I told you he turned your room into an office. You owe me five bucks.”

“No way,” Greyson’s eyes met mine. “You didn’t, did you?”

“No!”

“He’s definitely lying,” Zander said, ever the pot-stirrer.

What the hell.

“ I didn’t.”

“Wait, I thought your boyfriend was up?” Quinn asked, his brows knitting together in confusion, most likely rethinking our entire earlier conversation.

To my left, Ellie gasped. “You got your boyfriend to come visit? He can come to the party!”

Oh. My. God.

“Guys.”

“Wait, hold up. Does this mean we actually get to meet him?” Greyson asked.

This was like them teasing me when I’d first told them that I was dating Xavier all over again. “Can you guys be normal about this?”

“No way,” Asher said.

Of course.

Why would they be?

They were my baby brothers and under strict sibling obligations to make fun of me until I was dead. Even then, they’d probably be pranking me over my damn casket one last time until I was lowered into the dirt.

“At least try and be on your best behavior,” I said. “He’s got his son with him. I told them they could stay at the house while they toured LSU this weekend.”

“Oh shit, he’s a sport’s guy?” Asher asked.

“No? Not exactly.”

Greyson nodded sagely. “Academics. Respect.”

I rolled my eyes. Whatever that meant.

“Anyway, they’re there now. I get off here in twenty minutes, so I’ll drive us all back. You guys hang here while I go finish what I was doing. Sound good?”

Both of them threw me a thumbs up. “Roger that.”

Oh boy, this was going to be interesting.