Chapter 4

T alia walked into the office the next morning and stretched.

"Hey, looks as if you're ready to take one of your own yoga classes," Dani teased, coming up behind her.

"I should be, but I don't have any scheduled right now."

"Anytime you want to take some of that exercise space and use it for a stretch or a few minutes of yoga, go for it," Dani offered, looking over at her. "If nobody's in the yoga room, it's welcome to be used."

"And yet I always figure that, if I were there," she shared, "it would stop other people from thinking they could use it."

Dani frowned, then shrugged. "I hadn't thought of it in that way. My first impression was that everybody would pile in, thinking they had missed out on a notification of a yoga class."

Talia laughed. "That's possible too. I just don't want to stop any patient from doing what they need to be doing. "Besides, this office is big enough for a few stretches."

"When is your first class?"

"Later this morning, just before lunch."

"Good, let me know how it goes."

"Then you let me know how the patients take to having yoga available," she replied. "I'm more than willing to run the classes, but I don't want to waste everybody's time if nobody wants yoga."

"Oh, I haven't heard any complaints yet," Dani said, giving her a smile. "So I wouldn't worry about that."

Talia laughed. "Says you, but plenty of people have other things to do here, so I don't want it to become an issue."

"That'll be something we'll look at in a few weeks," Dani noted. "If we don't have any attendance, then we could reconsider it."

"Right," Talia agreed. "Anyway I've got work to do before then."

She sat down at her desk and started her workday. She had quite a bit to do, and it never got any easier nor less voluminous. And that always blew her away because you would think that there would be an end date for some of these projects, as each one finished. Yet invariably another ten dozen popped in. It was really quite irritating at times. When her timer went off on her phone, she realized she had ten minutes to start her class.

She set those reminders on purpose, so she would get a warning to get down there and to de-stress herself a few minutes before everybody showed up. She headed to the large designated room, an overflow therapy room, and opened up the windows, opened up the door, and set up some really peaceful, calm music. A lot of yoga teachers put on something really high energy, but, for everybody here, she just wanted them to calm down and to find a way to decompress.

As soon as that was set up, she rolled out her mat and sat in the center of it in the front of the room and just worked on her deep breathing. Xavier popped into her mind. He was an interesting character. She had to wonder how he was getting on. She knew he was a survivor, but she wasn't at all sure that he was a thriver. She almost chuckled at that coining of the word. Because to her it meant something, but that didn't mean it meant anything to anybody else.

She didn't get a chance to worry about it further because people started showing up for class. She watched as several of the patients came in, a couple on a pair of the usual crutches, a couple on arm crutches or whatever they were called. Those attached to the lower arm and helped stabilize them as they walked forward. A couple came in on wheelchairs. One guy looked really tired. "Hey, Steve. How're you doing?"

"Too tired to walk, I can tell you that," he muttered. "I almost didn't come."

"Well, I appreciate that you did," Talia replied. "The workout will make you feel better by the time you're done."

"And that," Steve said, "is why I'm here. Every other time I've felt better afterward. It's just hard to force myself to come when I'm so exhausted."

She nodded. "Any chance you're doing too much in rehab?"

He cracked a smile. "That's probably exactly what it is, but you just want to do what you can do."

"Oh, I get it," she murmured.

She waited a few more minutes for more people to straggle in and then shared, "We'll give everybody else a couple more minutes to come in and join us. Meanwhile, everybody sit on your mats. And, if anybody needs a hand, let me know."

She hopped up and walked around, but everybody, although slower than maybe they would have liked, managed to get onto their mat themselves. As soon as she realized that everybody was here who was coming, she looked up the hallway and then closed the door. "Okay, now let's begin."

What should have been a forty-minute session took an hour today. Yet she needed to spend that extra time with these people attending her class.

By the time her session was done, she looked at everybody and asked, "How do you feel?"

Steve muttered, "As if I could go home and sleep."

"Maybe that's what you should do," she murmured.

He nodded. "It is almost lunchtime though," he noted, "so maybe food first and then a nap."

"And by then, you probably won't want a nap."

"You could be right. Something about yoga is very invigorating in a way. It's just it doesn't hold."

"It holds until something jars you off course," she noted. "So the more you do yoga, the more you can stay on course and the less jarring every incident in life becomes."

He stared at her. "If that's true, I would spend more time trying to make that happen."

"It is true. While you're here, you have a lot of things that jar you off course. Yet, once you get back to whatever normal in life is for you," she explained, "that should ease back too. In fact, it should ease back even here because you're gaining so much on a daily basis."

"I am," he murmured. "Yet it feels sometimes as if I'm also losing."

"Maybe you're expending additional energy to work a different set of muscles." She watched Steve as he got up and back into his wheelchair and slowly made his way to his room.

One of the other women, Rose, looked at her and smiled. "He's always a negative person anyway."

"Maybe," she murmured. "It's hard to see somebody who's always so tired."

Rose nodded. "We all are, since the rehab sessions here are pretty intense. We work hard. We eat right, and yet it still seems as if sometimes it's never enough."

After that depressing comment, Talia wasn't at all sure about making conversation with anybody else. She made her way back to her office and sat down.

Dani popped in and asked, "How'd it go?"

"I thought it went fine, but everybody seems really tired."

"But then it's lunchtime, right?"

Talia nodded.

"So most of them have just come out of psych therapy or they've come out of physiotherapy," Dani pointed out. "Both sessions are guaranteed to exhaust you, emotionally and physically."

"Right, I wonder if we would be better off doing yoga at a different time of day," Talia wondered.

"Maybe. Ask them about that. The other alternative is to do it first thing in the morning, but not everybody wants to get up even earlier."

"And not only that," Talia said, "everybody takes a little bit longer to first get up, to get moving each day."

"Exactly," Dani agreed, with a smile. "So I would probably keep the yoga where it is for the moment, but poll your people who attend and see what they have to say."

"Good idea."

"By the way," Dani added, as she stopped and looked back at her, "how many did you have?"

"Seventeen," she shared.

Dani's mouth formed a circle. "Wow. I would have been happy if you had had four."

"We've had more than ten every day that I've offered a class," she stated.

"That is very good news," Dani said. "I'll have to consider that."

"Consider what?"

"Just wondering how we can work it into a full-time basis, maybe for everybody to attend."

"I don't know. I think it should be left as an option," Talia recommended.

Dani stared at her. "In what way?"

"If it becomes something they have to do, then it becomes a chore, then it stresses them out and adds more to their need to decompress."

Dani burst out laughing. "Very good point. I'll think about it." And, with that, she dashed off.

Tired herself, and yet feeling much calmer and more peaceful after her yoga session, Talia got up, walked out of her office, and headed down for lunch. In theory, with a nice big salad under her belt, that should perk her up. As she walked in, she found all kinds of salads. "What is this today?" she asked. "Salad celebration day?"

"Hey, Ilse has tried a few new recipes." Dennis gave her a big smile. "You like salads, right?"

"I love salads," Talia declared. "What have we got to try today?" And before she knew it, she had five different salads on her plate. "Wow. I'll be lucky if I can eat all of these, but I definitely want to taste every one of them. I came down here expecting to have a nice green salad for my lunch."

"And you got it," Dennis stated, "and so much more."

She snorted. "I did at that. I did at that." She took her plate outside in the sunshine, but, as soon as she sat here, it was already too hot. The heat alone would sap the rest of her strength. As she got up to change tables, she watched as Xavier tried awkwardly to make his way to a table, monitoring the tray in his lap, while he powered his wheelchair. She stepped up and asked, "Do you want a hand?"

"Is it wrong if I say yes?" he asked, not looking up.

"No, not at all. You'll get steadier the longer you are here."

"Says you," he muttered. "It hasn't happened yet."

"You haven't been here long enough to make anything happen," she said. She took the tray from him and suggested, "How about you get yourself up to a table."

"I can do that." He looked around and asked, "But which table?"

"Pick one, any one, although I can already tell you that it is too hot on the deck for me to eat outside."

He slid her a look. "Would you mind taking pity on me and sitting with me, so I don't have to eat alone?"

"You got it. And it's hardly taking pity on you," she noted in a droll tone. "Everybody here would be more than happy to share the table with you."

He shrugged. "I don't know anybody else."

"Ah, missing Zander, are you?"

"Always," he said.

She nodded and pointed. "Let's sit over here."

"Where's your plate?" he asked.

"It's outside. I was just looking for another place to sit that wouldn't be quite so hot."

"The heat at this hour shouldn't be so hot," he muttered. "So it'll be a scorcher of a day, won't it?"

"It sure will. So let's stay inside with the AC."

He looked at her and then nodded with approval. "I wouldn't argue that. I do find that I get much more tired when I'm overheated."

"I think everybody does," she murmured. She brought her plate over and sat down beside him. As several other people joined them at their table, Talia whispered, "There you go." She quickly made introductions and then proceeded to eat her salads. When she got to the potato salad, she cried out.

Xavier frowned at her and asked, "What's the matter?"

"It's hot. Ilse's trying out a bunch of salads, but I wasn't expecting a hot one."

At that, Dennis appeared at her side. "It's a hot German salad."

She nodded. "That vinaigrette gives it quite a bite."

"Too much of a bite?" he asked.

"No, I really like that." She took another bite and savored it for a moment. "Wow, that's really good."

"Well, keep trying the others. Ilse's hoping for a full report."

Talia laughed. "Am I supposed to send her an e-mail afterward?"

"Yes, that would be great if you would," Dennis replied. She looked at him to see if he was serious, and he shrugged. "How else do we get feedback about some of the dishes that we try?"

"Agreed, now leave me alone, and I'll sit here and eat and figure it out."

And, with that, he disappeared again.

Xavier looked over at her. "You have a really relaxed attitude to the other staff here."

"We're all good friends," she replied. "Dennis knows perfectly well that I would never say anything mean or bad to anybody here. So, when I'm telling him to get lost, he knows how it's intended."

Xavier nodded. "I don't have that relationship with anybody here. I would be afraid of overstepping my big feet."

She laughed. "I wouldn't worry about it. Very few people take offense over slights like that,… and they're not intended to be taken that way. Plus, we all have our work schedules to meet, so there is that consideration too."

"Good to know." He looked around. "Is it you that brought all the people to the table?" he asked in a low voice.

"Most people here have lives that you already understand," she pointed out. "They're missing friends, family, and so, from their point of view, lunch with anybody is often better than lunch with nobody."

He stared at her. "Meaning that a lot of people would have been happy to sit here with me because they too want company?"

"That's a good way to look at it, yes." She smiled at him. "Does that make sense?"

"Yep, it does." He put down his fork and sat back.

"What's the matter?" Talia asked.

"Nothing. I'm just… I think I'm done."

She looked down at his plateful of food and said, "You haven't hardly eaten anything."

"I know, but my stomach's not feeling really good."

"Something else to talk to the doctor about," she said. "I know all kinds of stuff that you can get to help settle your stomach. You could be reacting to one of your medicines as well. The doc can figure it out."

"Maybe. I haven't got that far with any of my appointments yet. Nothing that the other center gave me helped at all."

"Ah." She nodded. "I guess that is a concern, but everybody has a different way of looking at things."

"Somebody even suggested acupuncture."

"Hey, why not?" she replied. "Don't knock it until you try it."

"Have you ever had it done?"

She shook her head. "No, but to get something to work where traditional medicine didn't seem to work, I would be the first one to sign up for anything nontraditional." He stared at her, and she laughed. "First, talk to the doctors here, even to Shane. They all care, and, if they have any solutions for your tummy, then they'll be more than happy to help you out. Because when Dennis sees that you haven't eaten," she murmured, "he'll worry, and he'll break out the green smoothies."

He frowned at her. "Are they good?"

"Depends on what he thinks you need the most of. You might want to make your exit before Dennis sees your plate." Xavier stared at her, as she laughed. "Don't worry about it. Everybody has some upset tummy issues when they first arrive. You aren't alone. Some people here don't have all of their stomachs left."

He nodded. "Mine took a hit, but I've still got it. I did lose some of the small intestine, but I still got the bulk of it."

"So you have the basic parts, just need some tweaking to make it work."

"Tweaking?"

She shrugged. "Okay, that didn't make much sense, but the guys here can help you."

"Maybe, it just feels odd."

"What, to ask somebody here about that? I wouldn't take it that way, if I were you. People here just want to help."

"Maybe. I'll have to see."

Just then her phone alarm went off. "Have to go," she said, standing up, reaching for her dishes.

"Do you always respond to that thing?"

"Yeah, it's the only way I keep organized," she muttered. "I have a lot of work to be done, so it keeps me hopping."

He nodded. "And that hopping would drive me crazy. Plus, I hate alarms of any kind."

She smiled. "The thing is, you have to find what works for you. So give yourself a chance to try whatever is offered and know that whatever they do here will come from the heart to improve your life. Is it a guarantee it'll help? Nope, sure isn't. But you can't go wrong if you at least try."

And, with that, she picked up her plate, dropped it off in a nearby dish bin, and dashed back to her office.

*

Xavier watched Talia disappear to return to work. With Dennis now arriving, Xavier winced and slowly pushed away from the table. But he was too slow.

Dennis frowned at him. "Can't get any more down?"

Xavier shook his head. "I'm really sorry, but my stomach is just not doing very well."

"We'll get that fixed up right away," Dennis stated. "How about a green shake, heavy on the nutrients?"

"Are they terrible?" Xavier asked cautiously. "If they are, my stomach won't handle it well either, and it will come right back up."

"How about we start off with something full of enzymes and good healthy bugs in it?" he suggested. "We'll see if we can get you to start digesting some of the food that you need."

"Is that what's the problem?" he teased. "The food goes in, but it just doesn't go through."

"Yeah, we can work on that," Dennis murmured. "Sit tight, and I'll get you a shake. The food you ate today wasn't enough to keep anybody alive. And definitely not enough to do any testing or a rehab workout. You're new here, but Shane will understand."

Xavier wasn't so sure about that, but he didn't know how to get away without appearing to be rude. And, of all the things that he'd been told in his life, he was not to be rude. As he sat here, waiting, he wondered if he would miss some appointments.

When Dennis came back with a bright green drink, Xavier eyed it. "Well, it's bright enough," he murmured. "I just don't know if it's very drinkable." Cautiously he took a small sip and then another one. He looked over at Dennis. "Actually that tastes really good."

"Glad to hear it," Dennis replied, "and you don't have to guzzle it. Take it with you. If you'll see Shane today, even better. Tell him about your stomach. And sip the green drink throughout the afternoon, so everything will have time to go down slowly. That way maybe your stomach won't revolt."

"Got it," Xavier replied. "I am a little nervous too, so that's probably part of my stomach upset."

"Nerves can do that," Dennis agreed. "Don't you worry about it. We'll get you fixed up."

And honestly, Xavier wondered if everybody was invested in his stomach because, over the next several days, the chef came out from behind the door, introduced herself, and asked if he knew of some foods that his stomach could handle. If so, she would prepare those foods for him. He'd been flustered and astonished that anybody would even care, would go to the trouble of cooking meals just for him. After talking with Ilse for about fifteen minutes, she'd already devised a menu that would be a little easier on him.

He frowned, feeling a bit embarrassed even. "I'm not trying to be difficult. I don't need anything special."

"It's not special," Ilse clarified. "You're a patient, and you get the same care as everybody else." And, with that, she bustled off again.

Xavier frowned over at Dennis, who popped a thumb in the air and had a big smile on his face.

When Xavier saw Shane later that day, he murmured, "Is everybody this helpful?"

"Yep." Shane didn't even look up.

"Do you even know what I'm talking about?"

"I heard about Ilse talking to you to devise a diet plan tailored for you," he shared. "And Dennis is quite concerned about your lack of nutrients. Every time I see you, you're packing one of those hefty green drinks." He looked up, saw it in his hand, and nodded. "Exactly."

"I'm not used to this," Xavier admitted.

"Well, get used to it," Shane replied. "A lot of good people are in the world. A lot of good people are where you came from as well. Still, to properly treat people, maybe they must be shown another way to heal the patient. That goes for the patients as well. You are seeing a new treatment plan here that obviously wasn't used at the last place you were at," he explained.

"Sure, but a special diet just for me?"

"It's not even a special diet," Shane clarified, cracking a smile as he faced Xavier. "Ilse is just dying to have something else to cook for somebody who will enjoy her food."

"The food's fantastic," Xavier shared, "but my digestive system? Not so much."

"And yet it's complete, right? No surgeries?"

"Complete, yes. I believe so," he said cautiously. "The only surgery I had was to remove part of my small intestine. Even my broken leg and my broken arm were just reset and put in a cast. So no surgeries there either."

"So then what you really need for your digestion is a ton of supplementation, to get everything working properly," Shane recommended, "and, with any luck, that'll be something we can turn around fairly quickly."

"If you say so," he murmured.

Shane laughed. "I guess Hathaway House is quite a shock for you, isn't it?"

"It's a huge shock," Xavier declared, as he made his way to the floor to start one of Shane's sessions. "What I really want to do is walk and talk and have a full life, without everything giving me nausea."

"Is that the biggest thing in your life?"

"No. Obviously I have some physical injuries that need to heal. I'm coming out of that small intestine surgery. Of course my buddy and I got rattled pretty badly with that IED, so my joints are shot in my knees and my back. Yet nothing that surgery can fix. So I want to heal from my injuries and to strengthen my body again, but food's a big part of my problem too."

"Food's a huge part of healing," Shane confirmed, "and Dennis is onto part of that, but we will get you onto the other part of it as well. I'll talk to him about what's going into your shake. We should have you feeling better on the food level in maybe another week or so."

"Do you really think so? I've been dealing with this for months."

"Yep, I do think your stomach will be noticeably better in a week to ten days," he declared. "And if your upset stomach is holding you back because you need that set of nutrients, then we will do whatever we can to get them into you."

He winced at that. "I sure hope that doesn't mean injections. I hate needles."

"I have seen some of the biggest, baddest men in my life here, and they all hate needles." Shane chuckled. "It's something that never bothered me in my life growing up, but watching so many other people struggle with that phobia has been an interesting experience."

"Yeah, I wouldn't even say that it's that bad for me," Xavier clarified, "but it's definitely not something that I would want to deal with."

"Got it. So let's hope that you can sip on this shake throughout the day, without it coming back up again."

That was the hope.

Midmorning a couple days later, Xavier sat in his room, when Dennis appeared. Xavier eyed the shake in Dennis's hand. "It looks different."

"New combo of nutrients," Dennis announced, as he handed it to him. "Shane added in a few extra things for you."

"Good. Like what?" Xavier asked Dennis.

"Trace minerals, different bug treatment," Dennis explained. "And a butyric acid that helps heal the lining of your colon."

"All of it sounds good in theory," Xavier conceded, "but I really prefer to just eat real food."

"And you're getting there," Dennis noted.

"How do you know?" Xavier asked.

"Because I saw you get down some food today."

"I did, and so far it hasn't come up again yet," he shared cautiously. "It's a little early yet."

"Maybe, and, when you go for your rehab session, tell Shane that, so far, the food is staying down, and you don't want to do anything to bounce it back up again."

"But doesn't he have his own program to be worrying about?"

"If you can't keep down the healing and strengthening nutrients," Dennis stated, "you're not doing anyone's programs effectively. That would just set you back. We only aim for forward progress." And, with that, Dennis took off for the dining room again.

"Well, that looks like fun," Talia murmured as she entered Xavier's room and motioned toward the shake in his hand.

"Yeah, I'm drinking more than I'm eating these days," he shared, smiling at Talia. "How're you doing? I haven't seen you lately."

"Busy." She sighed. "Some days, some weeks, they're just really crazy busy," she murmured. "And these last few days have been a couple of them."

"And how's the yoga going?"

"Good." She brightened as she stared at him. "Matter of fact, very good. When are you coming?" she asked in a teasing voice.

"I wish, but I don't want to upchuck my dinner."