Chapter Eleven

Wynter

Though sleep was the best thing next to food in my life, there was no rest to be had after seeing that wolf in the woods. I woke up before the sun and bolted from my bed despite the chill that nipped at my feet. I leaned on the windowsill and looked around, scanning the yard.

Yeah, Wynter. He’s just going to show up outside the rusty tool shed, looking for his mate.

Sounds like reality.

I’d sped through my chores the last few days, eagerness rising with each setting sun. I lay awake, replaying the scene with the wolf. He was strong and powerful. I bet he was just as capable and strong in his human form. I tossed and turned, fantasies blending with dreams as I drifted in and out of sleep, that wolf always on loop in my mind.

Those fantasies continued through the day, interrupting my work but also providing solace from the drudgery of life. With morning chores done and my stepsisters taking their early afternoon nap, I snuck outside, promising myself this would be the last time I looked for the wolf that haunted me day and night.

As I made my way through the forest, butterflies batted their wings in my stomach, and I tripped several times, looking ahead and around for the wolf instead of where I was going. With my hands braced on the harsh bark of the tree that marked my stepmother’s boundary for me, I waited, listened, and hoped. Hoped with my eyes closed, whispering to the gods for help. Hoped with them open, hyper-focused on every movement and breath of a noise.

But the wolf never returned.

Tears spilled down my cheeks as my yearning and wanting cracked, leaving me hollow again. I’d held on to the promise of him returning so hard that letting it go felt like reaching inside my chest and pulling out my heart without anesthesia.

I shouldn’t have been so stupid. I shouldn’t have wanted. Never should’ve hoped for anything but what I had.

Nodding, I turned and began to walk back toward the main house. This was where I belonged and, more than anything, I should be grateful. While the tears dried, I pinched my sides right between my ribs and my pelvis, reminding myself that pain was my only solace now. Instead of being bitter and wanting something I couldn’t have, I should be grateful for a roof over my head and some food in my belly. That was all I deserved, after all.

Nothing.

This was a good reminder. I deserved nothing. I was owed nothing. For some, life was no more than a fight until you stopped breathing.

Passing the stairs, I heard the chattering of my stepsisters. Their giggling was more jittery hyena than young women, but at least they were free.

“I can’t believe it. Did you see him?” Calla screeched to Violet. They danced around their room with dresses pressed to their chests, pretending to be at a ball.

“I did! He was so handsome, and you should’ve seen the way he looked at you. And an alpha!” The mention of the word alpha had both of them squealing and stomping their feet.

A shot of pure, raw jealousy ripped through me. I gasped but made it quiet. If they caught me eavesdropping, I might not eat for a week.

“Can you imagine? Being the alpha female of a pack? All those people at your command? You could do whatever you wanted, and who is going to say anything?”

I sighed. That was what it meant to her to become an alpha female? To tell people what to do and have a pack at your beck and call?

Why was I surprised? That was her life now. Telling me what to do.

“His dark hair, and those dark eyes that saw right into my soul. And his kisses…” Calla sighed and tossed the dress onto a chair.

“You kissed him? You didn’t tell me that.” From what I could see through the partially closed door, Violet was as skeptical as I was. Still, the thought of Calla kissing this person I’d never even met set my veins on fire and melted my marrow.

“I kissed him and, if I hadn’t been interrupted, I would’ve done more. He was goo in my hands. That man knows a woman of worth when he sees one.”

I really doubted this alpha’s existence at all if he thought Calla was a female of worth.

***

I’d worn my best outfit for the day. Jeans discarded from one of my stepsister’s piles because they were too snug on her and a heavy turtleneck sweater to keep the cold out. Calla and Violet had insisted on a car to pick them up and bring them to town. They didn’t want to seem pathetic and poor by driving themselves. So, at the crack of dawn, a car was there to pick us all up. I wasn’t getting ready for any big pack event, though, I was simply allowed to ride along to get the weekly grocery list covered and keep my head down. Keeping my head down was miles more important than the actual groceries for them. They lectured me on the way about not embarrassing them or causing them any trouble.

They were the ones who were embarrassing. They came to town dressed in nothing but their sateen bath robes and feathery slippers. They claimed it was because they didn’t want to mess up their hair or makeup, but I really thought they enjoyed flaunting their curvaceous figures in order to attract someone.

It certainly wouldn’t be their attitude or charm that did it.

“Go on and get the shopping done. You can have some money for yourself too.” My stepmother handed me the grocery money in one envelope and five bucks as my spending money. Calla and Violet got a laugh out of it, but that five bucks had promise. There was a small thrift store in town, and the owner seemed to like me. She would let me stuff a grocery bag full for two dollars.

A part of me wished I was with Calla and Violet, getting ready for the big pack party, but even if I was invited or had the gumption to go, it would only lead to more despair and introversion. I knew who I was and what my station was here in life.

I needed to stop all this daydreaming and fantasizing and learn to be content with my life.

No matter how much it sucked.

“That’ll be all for you?” the cashier at the counter asked me. I nodded and gathered up my groceries. The only things I bought from town was grains and sugar, along with some of the packaged things I couldn’t make myself. Also, some meat and seafood. Everything else they expected me to make.

With my thrift store bag in one hand and the groceries in the other, I left the store. When I exited, my stomach fell into my boots. The car was on the other side of the street, and my stepsisters and stepmom were exiting the salon.

“Hey.” A voice from beside me made me jump. “It’s you.”

“Huh?” I said, snapping out of my stupor. The man was a mountain. A beefy, tall bear of a man despite the scent of wolf coming from him. I’d never met a male wolf, other than my father, but this man’s scent of honeysuckle and tangerines wafted toward me, pushed by some kind of supernatural wind.

I felt so small next to him, and I meant that in the best way possible. He could grab me up and steal me from this place. Keep me safe. Keep me warm.

“I said, can I help you with those?” In utter shock, I shook my head. No one had ever offered to help me with anything.

“Um…”

From the other side of the street, I heard my name called. Over and over in their shrilly, teeth-grinding voices. “Sister, get your…get over here. We are going to be late.”

Late for what, I didn’t know.

“What’s your name?” he asked. It took everything in me not to drop the damned bags and jump into his arms.

Gods alive, I needed to get better reading material.

“I have to go,” I replied and stepped off the curb. The car horn blasted in my ears as a hand grabbed my arm.

“Be careful. Please. Take care of yourself.”

I looked down at his hand on my arm and gasped. No, that wasn’t right. Gasping would assume I was breathing, which I was not.

“Go on now.” His bass tone warmed me from the inside out and turned my legs to mush. How in the hell was I supposed to walk across the street now?

“Please.” I tugged at his hand. Across the street, my stepsisters were already getting into the car. Maybe they didn’t see him touch me. Hopefully. “I’ll be in trouble.”

He nodded and removed his hand quickly. I ran across the street as fast as I could. I somehow knew that man, although there was no way I could.

It was simply impossible.