Chapter 8

8

Hovering above the Dorset countryside in the darkness in Hilda, Bess felt her chest tighten like it had a physical weight on it every time she thought about what she'd done.

In the locker room before The Skylarks had got their first call of the shift, Bess had checked her bank balance. The payday loan she'd applied for online a couple of nights ago had been approved quickly, in her account swiftly, and without delay, she'd paid the amount owed on the loan she'd taken out for the new boiler, hopefully putting a stop to the loan company taking further action. At least for the time being. She still hadn't paid it off in full but it was enough to stop them hounding her for a while. Relief, however, was temporary, because now she had another loan of ￡1,000. And this one came with a ridiculously high interest rate that would increase her debt by a couple of hundred pounds even if she paid it off within the month.

But Bess couldn't let those thoughts invade her head too much right now, because The Skylarks were en route to a job.

The nights were drawing in all the more now they were well into November and the crew were wearing night-vision goggles as they made their way to the scene of a structure fire where there were possible multiple casualties. Bess took the radio update from the HEMS desk – the initial fire was almost out, half a dozen people had been inside the building and all had made it to safety as the firefighters continued to put out the blaze in the building next door to the original structure affected. Proximity of the industrial estate to an ambulance base meant that the road paramedics were already in attendance along with the fire brigade, joined by the police, and the air ambulance had been deployed in case they were needed for transportation or help at the scene. The Skylarks hadn't been out as quickly on this job as they would have been in daylight hours because in order to fly at night, they had to follow extra protocols. Before lifting into the air, they had to establish two or three possible landing sites, all of which were required to be larger than they would be in daylight in case online maps failed to identify something which may now be occupying the area such as a new building or campers or temporary structures. Once they were in the air, they had continued to recce landing sites from overhead as usual.

Bess hoped the crews managed to put out the fire quickly, unlike the personal fires she kept creating for herself – it was as though her debts were one big blaze and embers kept flying off and starting little fires everywhere.

‘Two minutes to go,' Maya announced into her headset.

They'd already decided back at base that they could land in one of three car parks, the biggest being at the north end of the industrial estate. The crew kept everything crossed that that car park would still be empty as they'd been advised.

Maya hovered the helicopter above the centre of the car park. The downdraft blew a dilapidated fence to the right, sent a few cones on the other side flying, but with the guidance of a police officer down below using hand signals to assist with the helicopter's landing, they set down safely.

As soon as the doors were declared clear, Noah and Bess leapt out and hauled their bags onto their backs as well as the rest of the kit and the scoop. It was a short distance away from the fire engines and police had blocked off both ends of the road so there was no passing traffic.

The police officer who met them in the car park updated them further as they made their way towards the site. The surrounding premises had been evacuated. Six casualties were already being treated by road paramedics but the fire was still blazing and as they got closer, thick, grey smoke billowed into the air. Bess could see jets of water behind the structure as they approached. There were a lot of buildings and businesses along this road, plenty of livelihoods at risk as well as the threat to life.

Bess wouldn't have known the firefighter out front was Gio until she heard the crew member he was standing with yell to him, ‘Do not go in, that's an order, Mayhan!'

It must be the officer in charge and there was obviously a clash about something. Gio had always been a strong character, never a pushover; those were among the many traits of his that she admired. She wondered then how it was going with his mother. They hadn't had a chance to catch up since bumping into each other in the supermarket that day. Both of them had such busy lives with demanding jobs. If she ever found a life partner, they'd have to understand that too.

Bess and Noah took a wide circle around the scene to keep themselves as safe as possible as they tried to reach the patients and the road paramedics further along.

One of the road paramedics advised Noah and Bess that all victims were good to go by road ambulance. There were only minor injuries, some smoke inhalation, and no co-morbidities to worry about.

But Bess didn't have time to feel relieved about that or respond because they all turned at the roar of a voice.

‘Mayhan!'

And Bess saw a brief glimpse of what could only be Gio's form running towards the building they had evacuated.

What the hell was he doing? Obeying orders didn't mean you were a pushover. Those orders were usually given for a reason. He should be listening.

Mind back on her own job, she and Noah continued to talk with the road paramedic and agreed they would wait to see if they were needed for anyone else on scene.

But what happened next had everyone's attention.

Bess felt the enormous explosion from the building Gio had run into shock and pulse through her entire body.

Bess and Noah didn't hesitate. They got closer to the danger zone to see what they could do. Bess hoped Gio hadn't been caught up in the explosion; he had to be okay.

But her hopes were dashed as she and Noah saw two firefighters drag one of their crew away from the danger zone, away from where the explosion had happened.

One of their men was down.

And Bess knew before she even reached the casualty's side that it was Gio.

‘Explosion knocked him off his feet,' another firefighter yelled amongst the mayhem. ‘Silly bugger went in there against orders.'

A young woman who didn't look much older than twenty was crying nearby, watching the scene unfold; a road paramedic was trying to check her over and would call Bess or Noah if they were needed .

Flames still billowed from the rear of the building, the fire crews were still tackling what needed to be done, the officer in charge cursing at Mayhan's disobedience.

And all of Bess's attention right now went to Gio. Her good friend, Gio – kind, strong and stupidly stubborn.

Every second counted.

‘What are the chances of another explosion?' Noah asked the officer in charge loudly over the commotion.

‘Highly unlikely but never impossible,' he shouted back. ‘Do what you can for him. Please.' And he shoved his emotions back down and went on with his own job, directing his own crew.

Bess went through the motions. It was as if muscle memory told her what to do, had her doing her checks, reaching for equipment, conversing with Noah.

Gio was mumbling on and off and his pain level was clearly severe. From examination, it appeared injuries were confined to the lower limbs, mainly his left leg. His face was covered in soot, mud, or a mixture of both and for once, Bess didn't want to see his smile because that would make this even harder. She was doing her best to not think about the sound of the explosion, the thought of Gio being knocked flying by a force he hadn't seen coming.

In a bid to get him to talk more, to assess his pain levels more accurately and maybe ascertain what happened from him which could bring to light new information, she put a hand on his. ‘Gio, it's Bess.' Her heart thumped more than it had at the thought of her stupidity, her mounting debt. Self-induced problems rather than a hero taking a battering he absolutely did not deserve. ‘Can you hear me, Gio?'

He groaned.

‘We're going to take good care of you,' Noah put in because Bess said nothing else; she'd frozen .

But not for long. She snapped into action again, and so did Noah.

They wouldn't rush; rushing could compromise their patient and so it was vital they took one step at a time. An apparent injury could mask another so it was important to be thorough. They did their observations – ECG, oxygen saturations, blood pressure, temperature – and administered paracetamol and morphine.

But it did little for his pain.

‘We'd like to give you something a bit stronger,' Bess explained to Gio.

But Gio's response this time was clear. ‘No.'

Bess leaned over him. ‘What do you mean, no? It'll help. We need to stabilise your leg, Gio, and believe me, it will be better if you have some stronger pain relief.'

He gave another grunt.

He may not have even understood about his leg; it wasn't obvious he knew there was anything wrong other than that he was lying on the ground in pain.

Noah and Bess got Gio onto the scoop once he had blocks at either side of his head as well as the c-collar to support the spinal cord and head. The sound of him in distress didn't make the job any easier as Bess used the scissors from her kit bag and cut off the clothing covering the lower half of Gio's body.

‘He's in so much pain,' she reiterated to Noah. It didn't help that he was trying to move his body rather than letting them take control. She wondered whether Gio was trying to be macho in front of her and that's why he was refusing the extra pain relief.

The fire officer in charge, who introduced himself as Bruce, came over and recapped on what he'd seen happen. While he talked, Bess administered antibiotics for Gio, necessary because of all the dirt and debris around the compound fracture to his kneecap which was likely the result of hitting it against the concrete as he landed on the ground.

According to Bruce, Gio had gone back into the building, against orders, because one of the onlookers insisted a young woman was still inside. There was some disagreement as to whether she was or wasn't but Gio hadn't cared about that; he'd not wanted to risk leaving anyone behind. And he'd come out with her in his arms, put her down outside the building and as they walked away, he'd been the one at the rear. The explosion had knocked him off his feet. The young woman hadn't been caught in the blast at all.

When Gio tried to move again, Noah adopted a stern tone. ‘You need to keep still for us; we can't work unless you do. And you could make things a whole lot worse for yourself.'

Bess moved above Gio so she could look him in the eye. ‘He's right, you know. Bossy, but right.'

Eyes glistening with tears, Gio looked up at the moon hanging above them all in innocence. He blinked, closed his eyes, settled, but not for long; he was clearly in agony.

Bess squeezed his hand again. ‘We're going as fast as we can, Gio, but at the same time, we have to be careful and thorough. We'll have you out of here soon. I promise.'

Jeremy, another of the firefighters, came over and knelt down next to Gio as Bess got the splint for stabilising Gio's leg ready.

‘You're a bloody hero.' The firefighter looked up at both Bess and Noah. ‘That girl would be dead if it wasn't for him.'

‘You hear that?' Bess asked. ‘You're a hero, Gio.'

Noah frowned and asked Gio again about his pain. ‘Give me a level, mate. On a scale of one to ten.'

Noah's question got a swear word before a begrudgingly uttered nine.

‘Nine… are you sure?' Bess asked .

Gio gritted his teeth, the pain almost overpowering him. ‘I lied…' he croaked, ‘pain is a thirteen… didn't want to admit…'

She knew it. And to actually make the admission, it had to be bad.

Noah reiterated the suggestion of stronger painkillers and this time, Gio agreed, to Bess's relief. Getting his left leg into a splint was going to hurt like anything.

As Noah prepared to give Gio ketamine, a more powerful drug they as critical care paramedics were allowed to administer, and one that in larger amounts could be used for sedation or anaesthetic, Bess looked Gio in the eye again, hoping that the eye contact might help him stay calm. ‘You're about to get some of the good stuff. Are you ready?'

‘Bring it on.' He managed to get the words out along with a tight smile before it was taken away on another wave of pain.

While everyone reacted to drugs differently, ketamine had been known to cause hallucinations so it was important to keep Gio thinking positive thoughts and so Bess told him again that the girl he'd rescued was safe, uninjured, he was her hero.

Noah put the pulse oximeter – the probe with infrared light to measure how effectively his blood was carrying oxygen – to his foot and leg. Happy there was no circulatory compromise, he administered the ketamine before they could do more. Once it took effect, it would give Bess and Noah enough of a chance to stabilise the leg and spare Gio from the horrendous pain that came with it.

‘Bess…' The way Gio said her name this time told Bess that the ketamine was already happily buzzing its way around his system.

‘Still here,' she assured him.

‘I'm a hero,' Gio rambled, making both Noah and Bess grin. It was hard watching patients suffer and to be able to give them some relief was rewarding and, she had to admit, sometimes amusing when the drugs took effect.

‘Told you I was a good man,' Gio went on. He probably wouldn't remember much of this conversation, if any, later on. ‘I could be good enough for you.' Even in his predicament, his smile had the ability to melt Bess at a thousand paces if she let it.

Noah laughed. ‘I really hope he means you, Bess, because you're not really my type, Gio.'

And he wasn't Bess's either. Was he?

When she met someone, she wanted it to be for keeps. Gio was a good friend, they'd never pushed it any further, and she wouldn't dare because if they dated and it didn't work out – because Gio's relationships never did – it would ruin their friendship.

With the help of three other firefighters, they took the scoop, the equipment and their bags back to the helicopter, transferred Gio onto the litter, and climbed on board, ready to head for the hospital.

Maya didn't say much when she heard it was firefighter Gio Mayhan – there was no sign of the teasing that often came Bess's way when Gio's name came up or he showed up at a job at the same time as The Skylarks – Maya was too professional for that and so was Bess.

As they took to the skies, they could both hear Noah's commentary from the rear of the ambulance; the patient was talking on and off, which was a good sign. It wasn't so great that Gio vomited on the way but it was a common occurrence with patients either from injuries, from drugs or because of the helicopter ride, but apart from that, he was comfortable and stable. He'd likely need orthopaedic surgery given his injuries and he was being flown to a hospital team who were the best in the business in that regard .

Within five minutes, they'd touched down on the helipad on top of the hospital and handed over the patient.

Except he wasn't just any patient. It was Gio.

‘You all right?' Maya asked Bess once they lifted into the air again and headed back to base.

‘He's a good friend.' And part of her had wanted to stay right there by his side.

‘He has the best team looking after him.'

And although Maya wouldn't see, Bess nodded her head before flipping back to professional mode as the technical crew member on board. ‘What's the fuel situation?' she asked. As pilot, Maya was obsessed with fuel but it was Bess's responsibility to prompt also.

‘Fuel is all good. Refill back at the airbase. Hilda could use another clean too.'

‘Affirmative,' said Noah from the rear. ‘I didn't like to say, but she could, especially back here.'

Upon arrival at the airbase, Bess took the bloods and the drugs to store in the fridge.

As she came out of the room, she bumped into Paige, one of the patient and family liaison nurses, who gave Bess an update on the kid who'd fallen out of the tree the other day. They didn't always get to know outcomes or progress but it was good when they did.

‘I've got the family some suitable accommodation nearby,' Paige explained, ‘so they can be by their daughter's side as much as possible.'

‘Well done, and thank you for letting me know,' said Bess. The young girl wasn't in a good way but she was expected to recover.

Bess went to the locker room, used the toilet and went to the sinks to wash her face. They still had the helicopter to clean and when she'd pulled herself together, she bypassed Maya in the office doing her paperwork, and the laughter between Nadia and Paige about something or other. She wanted to mop the inside of Hilda, so offered to take the task from Noah and he willingly handed it over.

Anything to stop the thoughts whirring in her head.

Gio. The man she was good friends with. But seeing him like that, lying on the ground, writhing in pain, her feelings had hit her unexpectedly.

She couldn't help it. She knew now that she wanted more than friendship. And if she was being totally honest with herself, she'd wanted more for a while.

As he'd lain there on the ground, he'd said something too and the words came back to her now. Told you I was a good man… I could be good enough for you. She hadn't heard him say anything like that before. He'd looked at her on the odd occasion as though he might want something more than what they had but she'd always dismissed the notion as flirting or wanting someone he couldn't have.

Could she really be with a man like Gio, who never went in for long-term commitment?

She was pretty sure the answer was no, but fighting her feelings was another matter.

As she mopped Hilda's interior, her imagination conjured up Gio again, at the scene. She heard the explosion in her head, pictured him sent flying through the air and crashing to the ground.

She dipped the mop into the water, cloudy already despite having only just started the clean-up job.

Thoughts of her own problems filled her head. The payday loan was the latest example of her stupidity. She'd used it to deal with some of the debt she'd managed to accrue but in doing so, she knew things really weren't any better.

The payday loan might have put out a fire in one area of her life but what about what followed from now?

She was in a mess. And it was all her fault.

What had happened to Gio not only had Bess's feelings all over the place; it made her own problems seem foolish. Gio's downfall had been trying to save a life; hers was living one where she didn't want to let herself feel hurt and pain and so she spent money like her final day was coming.

And for that, she was ashamed of herself.