Chapter 1

1

Bess's spirits dropped in much the same way as the post that came through the letterbox did when it fell to the mat. Given it was already late afternoon, she'd assumed that she was in the clear of any more unwelcome correspondence. Unfortunately not.

She picked up the two brown envelopes – nothing good ever came in a brown envelope. Each of them full-named her in brutal typeface. One of them even had the logo of the energy company at the bottom left-hand corner, as if that might entice her to open it sooner. But denial had become her modus operandi. In her job as a critical care paramedic with the Whistlestop River Air Ambulance, she was together, calm and practical in the most tricky of situations. Bess was known at work and around town as a chatterbox, bubbly, the life and soul of the party. But the truth was, she'd got herself into a mess and she wasn't sure how to find a way out.

Right now, she had no time for anything other than getting herself together and heading for her 4p.m. shift with The Skylarks .

She threw both envelopes on top of the pile of similar correspondence on the table in the hallway. The top one was the credit card statement she'd received yesterday; underneath that was the notice to pay her television licence, and the rest… well, she didn't want to even think about what they were because she felt like she was drowning.

Could that happen? Could you drown under a sea of paper? Or could you suffocate?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Her insides churned again. Was she about to be handed a bill with so many pages, the envelope had been too thick to push through her letterbox?

‘Parcels, love!' the post lady trilled when she came face to face with Bess. She pointed down to the side of the front door. ‘They're not from me… I wasn't going to knock but I got to the end of the path and thought, well, I'd rather know if all my early Christmas packages were sitting outside my front door for anyone to nick.'

‘Thank you!' Bess called after the post lady's already retreating back. It was no wonder the woman still wore shorts in the latter part of October given the pace she moved most days and the loads she carried.

Bess bent down to get the first parcel. She'd been in all day so had no idea how she'd missed these arriving. It would've been nice if whoever made the deliveries had thumped on the door to give her a heads up – she'd rather be woken or disturbed than have packages go walkabout.

She picked up a heavy parcel and a lighter one, guilt already rearing its ugly head. She set them down in the hallway – no time to rip any of them open now. Inside the first, given its identifying design on the package, would be the Christmas present for her mum: a luxury hamper. She could picture the wicker basket with leather straps holding the calming, nourishing treats she'd carefully selected. She wanted to spoil her mum in the way she deserved. Bess didn't feel quite so terrible about that package, the last of her Christmas shopping she'd made sure to do super early. It was the rest of her deliveries that prickled her conscience. Inside the lightest package would be a new dress that had been a quarter of its full price – the company logo was on the front of the postage bag – in the other would be the new toaster, a proper Dualit one this time that would look so much better in the kitchen than the cheap one she'd had since she moved in. Her reasoning had been that it would last for years; it was an investment.

She picked up the last parcel from outside just as her mum started walking up the front path. ‘Mum! Wasn't expecting you.' She shunted the remaining deliveries into her hallway, reached for her keys, bag and coat and closed the door all in one swift move.

She almost collided with her mother on the front step.

Taken aback, Fiona Gardner gave her daughter a peculiar look. ‘Aren't you going to invite me in?'

‘Sorry, Mum. I've got to get to work.'

‘You've plenty of time yet.' Fiona checked her watch. ‘Don't you clock on at 4p.m.? I thought I'd be early enough to say hello, have a bit of a chat.'

While Bess and her mum saw one another regularly, for her to show up unannounced was out of the ordinary. Mostly, she called first, especially if she wanted something – last time, it had been to ask to borrow Bess's lawnmower; the time before that was when she needed Bess to take her black cat, Liquorice, to the vet because she had a last-minute commitment with the WI at the town hall. Bess didn't mind dropping what she was doing to help out but occasionally, she showed up like this, without warning, and that usually meant she was worried about Bess or wanted to do a deep dive into Bess's emotions – those were the drop-ins that Bess couldn't handle. She'd rather do a thousand humdrum chores for her mother, cook a hundred cakes for a town hall bake sale, mow her lawn every week over summer than have one of those conversations.

‘I need to get in a bit before start of shift today.' Bag between her knees, Bess had managed to shrug on her coat. She did up the buttons. The silver fob of her keyring shone as a beam of sunshine caught it when she turned the key in the lock to secure her house. The words Live every day as if it were your last were engraved on the fob along with the outline of a daisy – she'd found it at a craft fair on holiday last year and she'd grabbed it because those words encapsulated the way she lived her life. It was the way she wanted to keep living it too. Life was too short to do anything but, wasn't it? She saw so much devastation at work and she'd had enough of it in her personal life as well.

She hugged her mum tightly. ‘I'm sorry, Mum.'

‘I understand, you're busy. Another time, soon.'

‘Definitely. I promise. Are you out on a walk?' On the cusp of turning seventy, her mum was pedantic about keeping active and that meant getting her ten thousand steps in each day and thrice-weekly yoga classes. For her job, Bess had to have a good level of physical fitness; she needed to be strong enough to walk rough terrains with heavy equipment and to lift patients on the stretcher. She only hoped she kept her fitness and had half the same energy at her mum's age.

‘I am. Just heading home now.' Fiona indicated the wrapped gift poking out the top of Bess's bag. ‘What have you got there?'

‘It's a birthday gift for Nadia and the reason I'm going in early.'

‘What did you get her? '

‘It's a gift set with her favourite perfume, body lotion and shower gel,' Bess smiled. In its box, it wasn't easy to fit in her bag, but Nadia would love it and she deserved a treat. She worked hard and kept them all organised and in check. She wasn't part of either crew at the Whistlestop River Air Ambulance but she was integral to the team as their support officer. ‘We're planning to surprise her with a celebration at start of shift when the red team coincides with the blue at changeover. That way, everyone gets to be a part of it.'

‘Do wish her a happy birthday from me.'

‘Of course.' Bess unlocked her car on the driveway, leaned in and popped her bag on the passenger seat. ‘I really wish we could do coffee.' She felt bad that she had to race off. ‘How about tomorrow? I could pop over to yours around lunchtime so we'll have a few hours before I'll be on shift. Let Liquorice know I'm coming.'

Fiona chuckled. ‘I'll be sure to do that. And tomorrow sounds perfect. I'll make a cinnamon tea cake: your favourite.'

‘Love you, Mum.'

She wasn't wrong about the cake – it was Bess's favourite, or at least one of them. And that had Bess even more inquisitive as to why her mum had dropped by on a whim. ‘Is there something going on?' she asked. ‘Something worrying you?' To be forewarned was to be forearmed, wasn't it?

‘It'll keep,' Fiona told her and with a wave she left Bess to climb into the car and set off for work.

So there was something… it'll keep told her that much. And Bess didn't have a particularly good feeling about it as she cranked up the heat dial in the car to warm her from the October temperatures that in the last week had been a reminder that summer was well and truly behind them.

She drove the short distance to the airbase and pulled into a parking space just as her friend and colleague Maya, pilot with The Skylarks, was attempting to balance a crate on her knee and reaching into the boot of her car for something else.

Bess grabbed her bag and quickly got out with an offer of help. ‘Where's Noah?'

‘He's already here. I was running late. And besides, we're not joined at the hip.'

‘No, but sometimes, I bet you wish you were. And you arrive together more times than not.'

Maya couldn't deny it so simply smiled.

Noah and Maya had been an item ever since the summer. They didn't flaunt it at work, both of them were too professional, but it was good to see Maya looking so happy after finally moving on from her waste of space ex-husband.

Bess leaned into the boot for the other crate. ‘Whatever you've got in these smells heavenly.'

‘Don't worry, I didn't make any of it myself.' Maya led the way to the main entrance. She made no secret that she didn't particularly love cooking and definitely didn't enjoy baking. Nadia was the keen cook of the team but they couldn't very well ask her to do the catering for her own birthday. ‘We've got sandwiches, croissants, pains au chocolat, an assortment of cakes. There are quite a few of us; I didn't want anyone to go hungry.'

‘How come they didn't deliver?' Bess hoisted the crate up again after opening the door to the building behind which was the helipad and open space as far as the eye could see.

‘Their delivery van has broken down.'

‘Well, you've saved the day.' They scooted through reception, hoping Nadia wasn't walking the corridors to catch them at it.

‘She's in the office,' Vik, pilot with the blue team, said as he breezed past with a pile of paperwork.

‘Thanks, Vik.' Bess led the way to the kitchen. Her tummy was growling already, having only had a small bowl of cereal for breakfast to take the edge off her hunger, anticipating all of this, the sort of fare that, judging by the aroma, could turn even the fullest person hungry again.

As Vik kept guard at the door, Maya took on the task of decorating the kitchen. Bess found large platters from the cupboards and began to get the food transferred from the crates. Beyond the window was Hilda, the red and yellow air ambulance helicopter, ready and waiting on the helipad for The Skylarks' next job.

Noah didn't take long to arrive, followed by the rest of the blue team, whose shift was ending right about now as the red team prepared to take over for their stint, which would run until the early hours of the morning.

‘Good job with the bunting.' Bess watched as Maya and Noah hung up the last of the rows of brightly coloured small flags as well as a big Happy Birthday sign.

‘All right, time for someone to get the guest of honour,' Vik announced, volunteering for the role. The red team could be called out at any moment – they never could predict when a job would come in so they needed to make the most of the time they had.

Bess adjusted the band on her tightly ringleted hair, which sometimes had a habit of escaping its low ponytail. Not that much seemed to stop the ringlets at the sides hanging loose; they never did like to behave themselves. She, Maya and Noah huddled with the blue team in the kitchen until Nadia showed her face.

They yelled, ‘Surprise!'

But there wasn't much time to enjoy the celebrations because they were interrupted by the shrill ringing of the multiple phones at the base, indicating another mission for The Skylarks.

‘Worst timing ever,' Bess groaned as the whole crew leapt into action. Noah went to take the call from the HEMS – the Helicopter Emergency Medical Services – desk, Maya headed out to the helipad to get Hilda ready and Bess squeezed her way past the birthday girl to go to the adjacent room and retrieve the cool box containing blood and plasma, and the drugs they'd take with them on board.

‘You'll have to make do with the blue team,' Bess hollered into the kitchen once she had what she needed and walked past again. ‘Don't let them eat all the food!'

‘Thank you, everyone!' Nadia's voice trailed after Bess as she went to get her jacket on and her helmet. Noah was already geared up in his same kit, recounting the details of the job as they made their way out to the air ambulance.

As the technical crew member, Bess sat in the front of the aircraft next to Maya and helped with navigation and instrument reading. She programmed the GPS system in the cockpit and soon The Skylarks were soaring high up above the town on their way to the mission.

The Skylarks were afforded priority over other air traffic in line with aviation laws, allowing them to get to the patient as quickly and efficiently as possible, saving more lives in the process. Noah sat in the rear of the helicopter, already scouting for possible landing sites. Between the three of them, they concluded that a farmer's field would get them closest to the road traffic collision, which was on one of Dorset's windiest roads. It wasn't yet dark but it was getting there. They had night-vision goggles to allow them to fly at night but those came with different and complex challenges and it was always harder than attending a mission in daylight.

Moments later, Maya set Hilda down. She stayed with the helicopter and Bess and Noah, along with their kit bags, the drugs, monitors and the scoop, which would allow them to transport the patient back to the air ambulance should that be required, hurried to the edge of the field. They had to cut away at bushes and climb over a wire fence, but police had closed the road to traffic in both directions, making it easier for them and the fire brigade who pulled up on the other side of the two vehicles involved as Bess and Noah approached.

Bess smiled when she saw her good friend Gio Mayhan, firefighter from the Whistlestop River fire station, step down from the engine as they drew adjacent to it on foot.

‘Hey, Gio,' she called out.

‘How was the date?' He didn't bat an eyelid that they weren't alone.

‘Mind on the job,' she scolded, half-joking. ‘I'll tell you about it later,' she assured him. She'd kept him abreast of her dating situation plenty of times over the years. He knew all about boyfriends who hadn't lasted, all about the more serious relationship she'd had when she first graduated, only to find out the man was married. That one had stopped her dating for a while.

‘I'll hold you to that,' he declared.

Gio and Bess had been friends since they lived in a house share in Lancashire where she was at university studying paramedic science and he'd moved out of his family home. They'd known one another more than fifteen years. Gio was a good guy, fun, nice to have around since he relocated here from up north, but he wasn't the sort of man you dated. At least not the sort of man she dated.

When they shared a house, there had been the odd time when Bess had thought Gio might become more than a friend. If she was honest with herself, she'd been a little infatuated with him at the start, not that she'd ever admit it to him. Four years older than her, he'd always seemed unreachable, wild, fun. He was good-looking, strong, the whole package in some ways. But his playful side came out whenever he was in a relationship and she'd seen enough girls broken-hearted by him not calling them back or by him not wanting to commit that she knew it was best to keep their relationship what it was: a friendship. She couldn't deny that sometimes, she felt a spark with Gio but when Bess fell in love, when she found the right person, she wanted what her parents had once had as soulmates, both committed to each other.

She thought of the picture of her mum and dad on their wedding day, the photograph that stood on her mother's mantelpiece cementing the beginning of their family. And if you looked really closely, you could see a small baby bump beneath Fiona's dress that the bouquet she was holding didn't quite disguise. Bess had always loved the fact that in a way, she'd been a part of their wedding too.

Gio was soon focused on the job and as Noah led the way towards the first vehicle, one of the two involved in the road traffic collision, Bess shared what she knew already. Gio would know some of it too but sometimes due to updates en route, one first responder knew more than another and those little bits of extra information could make all the difference.

‘The female caller told the call handler that her car had skidded into the path of an oncoming vehicle. Maybe the mud caused the skid.' Bess held her footing in her clumpy boots as they passed over an enormous patch of mud at the edge of the tarmac, something that wasn't uncommon in this area given the surrounding fields. This part of the county saw regular passage of farm vehicles and the deposits they left behind created a hazard, especially given the default speed limit for the single-carriageway road. You only had to hit a build-up of mud too fast, or when you were applying the brakes, for it to cause trouble.

A road ambulance was already in situ the other side of the second vehicle – usually it was the air ambulance who got to a job first. Given the nature of the remote location and the winding roads, they must have been in the area when they got the call to have arrived already. The road paramedics could deal with a lot on scene but often required the assistance of a critical care paramedic to administer stronger medications and sometimes to perform surgical procedures in the field. The air ambulance was also often the best option to transfer the patient to a medical setting, especially if they were time critical.

Gio and his crew assessed the scene while Noah and Bess attended to the patient in the closest vehicle.

Once Noah and Bess had evaluated the patient's condition, Bess fitted a c-collar to the woman's neck to prevent any potentially harmful movements should she have injuries they hadn't picked up on. She appeared to have escaped without many at all.

‘I'll go see if I can help with the occupant of the second vehicle,' said Bess just as Gio ran back past them.

‘Road paramedics need you,' he bellowed as he headed for the fire engine.

‘You got this?' Bess asked Noah. The woman wasn't far off being helped out of the car now her vitals had been checked and they were sure she didn't have any injuries that would prevent her from being moved.

‘Yep, you go.' Noah's voice continued to comfort the young woman, who was obviously still in shock. Bess had told her a few times how lucky she was but she hadn't wanted to listen. Her only concern was that she'd caused this; she wanted to know how the other driver was.

As soon as Bess started off for the second vehicle, a red saloon, she could see it had come off worse than the other. The driver's door looked as if it was caved in to a fraction of its size. It must have been hit at speed to do that kind of damage .

Gio caught up to her again, this time armed with a tool called the jaws of life, which enabled the extrication of a person from their vehicle. He carried the piece of machinery on his shoulder as though it was nothing heavier than a handbag rather than a powerful tool designed to cut and spread metal.

They were almost at the vehicle when Bess did a double take at the woman sitting at the side of the road wrapped in a blanket.

Usually calm in a crisis, Bess experienced a different feeling when she called across, ‘Mum?'

Fiona's eyes filled with tears as she spotted her daughter. ‘Please, help Malcolm.'

Malcolm? Who was Malcolm?

‘Mum, are you all right?' Bess hovered there momentarily while Gio strode on ahead, his mind able to remain on the job, unlike hers, which had an unexpected distraction.

‘Please, go, Bess. Help him. I can't lose him too.'

Bess's mind went back to the day they'd each held each other tightly, the day they'd lost her dad. But her brain squashed away her emotions. She had no time to address the blatant fact that her mother had just announced that she had another man in her life.

And knowing that felt to Bess like losing another part of her dad, another piece of their family past that she was never going to get back.