Chapter Seventeen

~ Xander ~

After their conversation about Wright's fears, Xander spent most of the night thinking. He knew that healing and therapy was a process. He understood that Wright had a horrible upbringing, way different than his where he came out without fear to his whole family and dated a good bit in college. He understood where Wright was coming from about the drinking. He'd been around Patrick and even Tracy with a beer in their hands in the evenings and it didn't seem to bother him. Or maybe it was because they poured them into glasses so he didn't register it as alcohol. Either way, Xander's late night thoughts had him wondering if it was scaring him because of how close they were. His dad was supposed to be someone he could trust, not be terrified of. Did he see Xander the same way? As someone that he trusts and he was scared that would be taken away with the addition of a couple drinks?

He talked to Wright when he woke up around nine, after caring for the horses. He'd been sleepy-eyed and cuddly, but they did talk. Really talk. Wright confirmed his fears about things changing if he drank and while Xander promised him that he would never hurt him, he knew he'd have to put it into practice. So, with Wright's knowledge, he enjoyed a single beer with his older brother on the porch after supper on Sunday night and then again on Wednesday. He wasn't going to push it, but he did want to show Wright that he meant all the words he said. He brushed his teeth thoroughly and then kissed his boyfriend silly and snuggled up next to him each time. One beer did absolutely nothing to him, but he wanted to prove a point. They documented the moment on Wednesday with a photo for his therapist, figuring she'd want to see that progress on top of the rope stuff too.

By Thursday, Wright seemed more open to the idea. He even sat in Xander's lap in the rocking chair while he sipped on his drink. It was set to rain all day Friday so they all pulled extra shifts to prepare for it with getting the horses bedded and ensuring the cattle's shelters were intact and stocked. It was a long day and they had a late supper around eight-thirty. The rain was already in the air, clouds rolling in from the distance. Xander loved the rainy weather. The last storm they had was rough, but this one was supposed to be a single day thing and then pass over without much fuss.

Friday morning, as predicted, was wet. He could hear the rain hitting the tin roof above them. Wright was sleeping soundly next to him, his face squished into the pillow and his lips slightly open. He was so fucking adorable and every morning he watched him, Xander wondered how on earth he was lucky enough for him to come into his life. He was so close to saying those three words to him. The words had been repeating in his head all week, but he wasn't sure if it was the right time. Too soon, he told himself. There was no way that Wright could love him back so soon.

He leaned down and kissed his head before getting up to start their breakfast. It was Paxton and Patrick's turns to care for the horses this morning, so he could take his time. He'd still peek out and see if he could see anyone. It was already seven-thirty, so he was sure they were nearly done anyway.

He moved quietly through the house, aiming to stand outside for a minute. He flicked the coffee maker on his way, already prepped. Wright always made sure they had it ready to go. He suggested getting one with the timer so they would wake with the pot already brewed. Apparently he had that before coming to Family Ranch. The outside world was in a state of rest. The animals were up, he could see the barn door cracked and one of the horses was braving the misty rain. Everything smelt fresh, like only a good rain could do. It was one of his favorite smells.

Arms snaked around him and he jolted for only a second before relaxing and turning his head to the side to see Wright. It was a bit comical to see him hugging Xander's frame from behind. His hair was rumpled, he seemed to be wearing just a large hoodie, bare legs on display for anyone to walk by and see, but his eyes were crinkled from a genuine smile. "Morning."

"Good morning, beautiful." Xander side stepped him so he could swap their positions. "You didn't have to get up yet. Aren't you still tired?"

"I'm good," Wright said. "I wanted to enjoy as much time with you as I can before I'm dragged away tonight."

"You're going to have fun. Clark and William will keep you safe and I'm sure Paxton will provide more than enough entertainment."

"I've never danced before," Wright said. "I don't know how it all works. I've seen movies and stuff, but it looks crowded and hot."

"It's definitely hot," Xander muttered. He remembered the times he'd been to clubs when he was Wright's age. He'd gone with friends at least twice a month while in school and he always had fun. Growing up in Texas, he wasn't the only one that developed muscles working on a ranch and most of his friends had no problem hooking up with girls. He wasn't closeted by any means, but most of the guys that asked to dance with him were what society deemed twinks. Younger men with slight builds that looked good, but it wasn't what he was interested in. Or at least, until now. His brow furrowed and he looked at Wright in a new light.

"What is that expression for?" Wright asked. He reached up and smoothed his thumb between Xander's eyes.

"I just realized that you're going to be hit on by a lot of older men. I'm assuming you're going to a gay club. We definitely didn't have those when I was younger. You're like prime real estate for anyone with eyes."

"Thank you?" Wright laughed and hugged Xander tightly. "But I can promise you that I won't be interested in them. I'll be thinking about you the entire time some random stranger is grinding up against me, sweaty, hands on my waist."

"Okay, you better stop now. I know what you're doing and it isn't going to happen."

Wright squirmed and Xander could see the smirk and glimmer of mischief in his eyes. "Maybe I'll let them buy me drinks."

"Non-alcoholic," Xander warned. Wright nodded, his smile faltering for just a second. He wanted to kick himself for even mentioning it. Of course he wouldn't be drinking. Not even because of his age.

"I wonder if I could find two guys and just sandwich between them," Wright mused. "What do you think? I'm picturing two men, probably a couple, taller, broader, practically hiding my body from the world. Maybe they're kissing each other while I let their bodies move against mine."

"You are fucking wild," Xander said. He nipped at Wright's ear and buried his face into the side of his neck when he started giggling. "You've also been reading way too much because I know what book that scene came from. You are not allowed to sandwich between a couple, got it? They might think- Fuck, I'm going to have to have a full-on conversation with the others about keeping you safe, aren't I?"

"You're the one that pushed me to go," Wright said. He tilted his head to give Xander more access to his neck. He wished he wasn't wearing a hoodie, but all the same, he ground his hips against Wright's backside. "Shit, Xander. Not out here."

"No idea what you're talking about," Xander whispered. He licked the spot of his neck he'd been kissing, then sucked on it with a little force. Wright didn't move, but after a few more seconds, his body stiffened and he turned around in Xander's arms.

"Are you seriously marking me right now?" Xander tossed his head back and laughed, loud enough to be heard over the rain picking up. There was the start of a hickey on his neck and Xander smiled smugly. "Jealous much?"

"Hard much?" Xander retorted. He looked around and then reached a hand between them and cupped Wright's groin. He was hard. "How about we go inside and take care of this and then I'll make us some breakfast?"

"I guess I can live with a blowjob and breakfast," Wright said, adding a tad of dramatics to his tone that made Xander roll his eyes. He flipped the lock and crowded Wright against the fridge. Wright's eyes went wide but then he rolled his hips into Xander and that was all the invitation he needed. "Mmm, hold on. Before we start this, can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" Xander asked. He wanted to be kissing Wright instead of more talking, but he'd at least hear him out. Maybe he could multitask, grazing his nose along his jaw.

"I have my therapy later," Wright said. His voice was already hitching, raising an octave like it did when he was horny. "And we haven't done anything more with ropes this week. I know- Shit. I know that was partly my doing, but could we do something today? Ugh. Xander."

The last two words were drawn out and Xander smiled. His hands were under the hoodie, tweaking his nipples until they were hard between his fingertips. "We can do something in a bit, but right now I want you in the bedroom on the bed."

"I was thinking- Shit, hold on Xander. I'm genuinely losing my train of thought." Xander sighed and pulled back. His smile brightened when he saw how affected Wright was. He palmed his own cock and groaned. Wright was breathing hard and moved to take off his hoodie, leaving him standing in just his briefs. Now Xander was the one losing his train of thought. He held his hands in front of him. Xander took in the sight and wanted nothing more than to fuck him right there against the fridge. He would gladly clean whatever mess was made. "Maybe we could combine the two?"

"What do you mean?"

Wright reached out his hands and ran them up and down Xander's forearms. He laced their fingers together and smiled. He looked like he owned all the confidence in the world. "I mean, I really like the idea of you tying me up during sex. If you're comfortable with it."

Xander could honestly say it hadn't crossed his mind once. But as soon as the words were out of Wright's mouth, he could picture it. He could see him spread out on the bed, hands tied above him while Xander used his body whatever way he wanted. His dick was definitely on board with the idea. But he had to think realistically. He opened his mouth to say something, but Wright cut him off.

"Before you say anything, hear me out. I talked to my therapist about it Monday. Since you had to work, Paxton filled in and you know we made more progress. I can hold it on my own now. You make me feel the safest and I have fun having sex with you. My body is on fire with feelings and emotions and I think that that would help to keep me from fully focusing on having something around my wrists. It doesn't have to be rope. I think it's just the thought of something being tied around my wrists or ankles, binding me, that scares me so much. But if it's you that's in the room with me while I'm bound like that, I know that whatever comes next will be pleasurable. Not just for me, but for you."

"Can I think about it?" Xander asked. He liked the idea, loved it really, but he didn't want Wright to rush into anything. Maybe they could start small, outside of the bedroom. "I want to help you, but I don't know if I'm comfortable with the thought of it possibly giving you a bad memory of us."

"I understand," Wright said. If Xander looked too far into it, he thought he could detect a hint of disappointment. But like Xander stayed mindful of him, he respected Xander's words and smiled. "So… about this blowjob?"

"Bedroom," Xander directed. Wright smiled and led the way. Xander shook his head and scooped up the hoodie he'd discarded. He enjoyed the view of Wright's ass in his briefs the short walk to the bed. He could feel his own cock perk up at the way his hips swayed. He knew Wright knew he was watching him and he was giving him a little show. "Can I add something else to our list?"

"What is it?" Wright was standing by the foot of the bed. He had his hands by his side, letting Xander drink in all the bare skin, his soft edges, the way his briefs were tented.

"I love how confident you've become in the bedroom." Xander closed the distance and kissed him until they were both breathless. "You're becoming more comfortable in your own body and every time we do anything, I'm amazed at how forward you are in asking for what you want. You're also a wicked tease, Wright. And I fucking love it." Xander swallowed. His hands were curled around Wright's sides, holding him close to him. He stared into his eyes and smiled. His heart swooned. It was such a cliché word, but it was like a weight sitting on his chest with how much he loved the man standing before him. He was the complete opposite of what he went for in the past, but everything he wanted in a life partner. Kind, caring, hardworking. He understood Xander's need to work hard, to care for those around him. How he sometimes needed a little time to himself to decompress. He'd give Xander a few minutes in the shower before joining him or he didn't rush him when he took one alone.

He made Xander laugh, too. They had fun, in and out of the bedroom. Even a task as mundane as going into the city to buy him his own laptop with the money he made working had turned into a singing competition in the car and Wright somehow convinced him to get them fast food on the way home. Wright recalled only two memories where he got to eat out in his life and Xander vowed to give him plenty more memories like that. There was also a joke about eating him out, to which Wright had gone bug eyed because the windows were down and they were sitting in the parking lot to eat.

"I love you."

It took Xander a second to realize he said those words. Not Wright. Xander held his breath and waited. A moment passed, a second. He started to worry that maybe Wright didn't feel the same. He was young, just experiencing what it was like to be free and do what he wanted. Xander couldn't judge him on that. He'd had two serious partners over the years and a handful of hookups between. If he was just figuring himself out and-

"I love you too." Xander had just enough time to hold his arms out for Wright to jump up and wrap his legs around Xander's body and his arms around his neck. They stared at each other for a beat. "I mean, I think I do. I don't have much experience with intimate love. Or, really, love in general. But I love this family, I love living here. It all makes me happy. And when I look at you? It's like this feeling overtakes me and I can't think of anything else but how beautiful my life has become in the last two months. I also just really, always want to have you inside me. Like every second of every day. It's inconvenient, honestly."

"Well, after that confession, I don't think blowjobs are going to cover it this morning." Xander dropped Wright onto the bed and he squealed but then adjusted himself so he was laying with his head on the pillows. Xander covered Wright's body with his own and kissed him hard. He kept himself propped up on his hands and his knees on either side of Wright. His cock was growing harder, twitching in the space between their bodies, like it had its own mind to search for Wright.

"Do we have time to do more?" Wright asked. "I want to, but I don't want a repeat of last weekend. Also, why do we always reserve Fridays for our fucks? Have you noticed that. Why can't you just take me randomly on a Wednesday or something."

"You're so romantic," Xander said. But his whole body was definitely on board with that idea. "And talk way too much."

"You should do something about it then," Wright said playfully. He licked his bottom lip and raised his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

Xander dropped his head to Wright's chest and laughed to himself. He loved this guy. And each day, Xander could see him get more comfortable and show a little more of who he really was. "We don't have anything to do right now. The ranch hands are here today to keep an eye on things, but right now, it's just us."

"Good." Wright moved his hands to Xander's shoulders and brushed his fingers up the sides of his neck. "Now, what do you have in mind to cement these confessions of ours?"

"I love it when you wake up in a good mood," Xander said, more to himself than for Wright to actually hear. He kissed his chest, flicking his tongue against one nipple before sucking it between his teeth. Wright's back arched off the bed and his hands went to Xander's hair. He opened his eyes and stared at Wright, enjoying the way his lips were parted, his cheeks pink. His whole body was starting to flush. He didn't like going shirtless outside like Xander did some days so most of his skin was still a paler color, showing that flush even better. He got an idea and lifted his head. "I don't want to tie you up, but we can start slow. Wrap your hands around the bottom edge of the headboard and leave them there until I say so."

The headboard was a solid piece of wood, but there was a gap between the mattress and it where Wright could easily fit his hands to curl around it. He reacted immediately and Xander kissed him once more as a reward. "Keep them there. If you get uncomfortable for any reason, say…" Xander drew a blank at a word. He was about to just go with the red light, but Wright spoke up.

"Cowboy."

Xander tilted his head and Wright laughed. His whole body shook underneath him and the feeling was incredible. It was a wonderful sound, music to Xander's ears. He rolled his eyes though. "Cowboy? Really."

"Why not? You got that song stuck in my head the other day. Plus, I've never ridden a horse before, only you. So it fits."

"Oh my god." It was Xander's turn to laugh. "Cowboy it is. We're going to change that later, though."

"You keep thinking that." Wright wiggled his body, bringing Xander's attention back to what they were doing. He made quick work of getting Wright fully naked. Then he took his time prepping him, pushing him to the edge repeatedly, seeing how much he would take or if he'd break and move his hands. He never did. He was gasping, writhing on Xander's fingers, begging for his cock. But not once did he move his hands. Not even when Xander straddled his chest and had Wright use his mouth to get him hard again.

When Xander slipped the condom on and guided his cock to Wright's hole, he didn't waste time in going slow. He pushed in in one fluid motion. His whole body reacted. Xander's eyes traced the marks up and down his torso, the most prominent still the one on his neck. Xander had never been one for markings before. He'd never been one for a lot of things before Wright apparently.

"Oh shit, yes. Hard, Xander. Please."

Xander obliged willingly. He pushed in more, rocking his hips back and forth while Wright took him all the way. Xander held Wright's right leg in one hand, wrapped the other around his waist. Wright's ass was resting against his thighs and he started pumping his hips fast and hard. Wright cried out but still he didn't move his hands. Xander leaned forward and kissed him hungrily, shifting his angle inside him just slightly.

"God, baby. You feel so good." His cock was encased in pure ecstasy, the heat of Wright's body sending tingles through his body. His balls pulled tight, but he didn't want this to end yet. He slowed his movements, pausing long enough to let the rising orgasm subside. Wright grunted, shifted his own hips. Xander's hands steadied around his hips and kept him from moving. "Slow down, baby. You're going to take whatever I give you, okay?"

Xander moved one hand to wrap around Wright's cock. He was leaking, a few drops trailing down his shaft toward his groin. Xander's fingers moved from his cock to the love bite forming on his right leg. He was pumping his hips slowly, long strokes that made Wright whine needily. It wasn't enough to make him come.

"I love looking at you like this," Xander said. His eyes met Wright's and something unleashed in his chest. "You're so different from everything I'm used to but fucking perfect at the same time."

Wright's eyes closed and he bit his bottom lip when Xander pulled out nearly all the way and then sank back in. He wasn't moving fast, but the pressure of his rim stretched around him had his balls tightening up again. He repeated the motion, addicted to the feeling of Wright's body taking him.

"Xander." His name on Wright's tongue sent a wave of pleasure through his body. "Fuck, you make me feel so good every time. Please, I need to come."

"You've been doing so good," Xander said. He sped up his strokes on his cock and pumped his hips faster, making sure to press as far into him with each thrust that he could. He watched Wright struggle, his arms above his head and the way the tips of his thumbs were turning white from the strength he was using to grip the headboard. His body shifted on the bed with each thrust forward from Xander, his lips were slack and he was making beautiful noises. The sounds of their bodies connecting filled the room. Wright's lips were open, his words a constant flow of encouragement for Xander to keep going.

"I'm. So. Close!" The last word was a yell and Xander watched in absolute amazement at Wright's cum shooting far. It really did happen every fucking time and it was hot. His body shook below him as the first rope practically sprayed straight up toward Xander. He adjusted the angle he was holding his cock and the second rope landed across Wright's chest, almost hitting his chin. "Oh fuck, Xander. Fuck, fuck."

Xander stroked him a few more times, emptying his balls with more cum than he'd ever seen in a single orgasm. Xander picked up speed and rabbited his cock in and out of Wright's hole. He could feel Wright's body pulsing around his cock and it was all too much. He growled low in the back of his throat and pushed in, wanting to be so far inside the man he loved that he'd feel him for days.