Chapter Eleven

~ Wright ~

Monday morning was his first official day of working. He'd spent two hours talking to Patrick about the things he could do- yard work, cleaning, organizing- and what things he might be interested in learning. The ranch was only part of it. Patrick asked him if he wanted to go to school in the Fall, like Paxton. They discussed pay, rent, hours to work, driving lessons. His dad never wanted to spend the money for him to do the required testing to get his license. Xander was supposed to give him some lessons over the next few weeks.

They had an event for the Fourth of July in a few days. Wright was tasked with helping to clean up the field, mowing and weed eating by the fence and around the backside of the guest house. After a quick overview on the riding mower, Wright spent the morning mowing the straightest lines he could up and down the field. He went over it twice, just to make sure it looked good. It wasn't perfect. After lunch, he spent another two hours cleaning around the buildings and even cleaned out the bird bath sitting to the right of the patio of the guest house. He scrubbed it down and added fresh water to it, plucking a few wildflowers to add and let float, hopefully attracting some birds. He'd ask Tracy if he could put a bird feeder up.

The summer sun was insane and everyone made sure he kept hydrated. Before, he'd spend a few hours outside and just use the water hose instead of trekking in and out of the house and potentially make his dad angry for bringing in dirt or anything. Now, he was supplied with fresh sweet tea or ice water every hour. It was a nice change. Xander also made him wear his ball cap and reapply sunscreen twice, which wasn't much of an argument for Wright. By the time he finished, he pulled off his shirt and held the water hose above his head, letting the water cool him off.

"Damn, I could get used to seeing that." Xander's voice was behind him and he spun around to look at him. He wasn't shirtless, but he'd undone all the buttons and Wright had a clear view of his chest. His skin was glistening with sweat. It should be gross, but Wright wanted him closer. He was hot. His hat was low over his forehead, casting most of his face in a shadow. Wright held the hose between them, splashing on the ground, as he openly ogled the man.

"Want to join me?"

"I'd love to," Xander said. He grabbed each edge of his shirt and fanned himself. "I still have a little bit of stuff to do before we're done for the day, though. The field looks amazing. You did a great job. Patrick's impressed too."

"Thanks." Wright bent forward at the waist and let the water run through his hair for another second before he turned the water off and rolled the hose back up. "There wasn't a large yard where I lived, but I got good at making sure not to miss any spots. We had a tree in the back and two bushes up front so I had to learn to weed around everything."

Xander stepped forward and took the hat from his hand. His fingers trailed along his jaw and then down the column of his neck. Wright tilted his face up as Xander leaned down to kiss him gently. The shade from Xander's hat covered their faces and Wright was grateful for it almost as much as the kiss. Almost.

"I hope you know that you don't have to be perfect here," Xander whispered against his lips.

"I know," Wright said. Xander swiped his hair back and replaced the cap with a smile. "But I want to make a good first impression for my new boss."

"Your new boss can stick it if he says anything bad." Xander stepped back and held his hand out for Wright to take. They walked hand-in-hand around to the front of the guest house. Wright had already replaced the mower and other tools in the small shed attached off the side of the barn. They had three different types of riding mowers and several more tools and yard equipment. The shed was almost as spacious as the guest house. He hadn't gone into the barn in weeks though.

"I'll be sure to tell him you said that." Wright stopped to grab his shirt where he'd hung it on a chair on the patio. He didn't like taking his shirt off around others.

"Have you met any of the horses yet?" Xander asked as they stood by the open side of the barn. During the daylight hours, it stayed open. It was built close to the house for several reasons, Patrick explained Saturday night. The main one being that wild animals like foxes typically wouldn't dare to come so close to the houses where there was human scents all around. Close being an operative word, of course, because the gravel lot that sat in the middle of the guest house, barn, and main house was large enough for Patrick and Xander's trucks, Tracy's SUV, and the workers that came and went during the day. It could easily pack ten cars with room to walk around them. The gravel crunched under Wright's new boots. Paxton had gone out with some friends and either Xander or Patrick must have asked her to get them because she came back yesterday with the pair. They were exactly his size, so he was leaning toward Xander. Of course he denied it. Like he denied the tennis shoes too.

"Not officially," Wright said. "I've watched them from a distance and in the outside section. But neither of us have been brave enough to get close, I think. I like horses, think they're beautiful creatures, but I don't have any experience with them."

"Let's change that," Xander said. "This was the last thing I needed to do today anyway. I need to pull some things out of the tack room for tomorrow and make sure we're prepared for some trail rides this weekend."

"What are all the summer activities do you do here?" Wright asked. The inside of the barn was exquisite to say the least. It was a large, open aisle with five stalls on the right and three open stalls on the left. He wasn't sure what the ones on the left were for, never bothered to ask when he'd walk past. Two of the horses were in their stalls, but the others were outside, in the fenced area between the barn and the non-profit houses. He knew from their walks that there was only one way that led off the property to the state road, but a few trails and unmarked dirt roads led around other parts. There was a fork in the dirt road that went to either the main road or the refuge houses. It was protected by a security camera that ran constantly. There was another trail that they walked one evening that led around the acres for the horses and toward the back of the property where the animals they raised for meat and breeding lived. Xander didn't take him that far without the truck, but it was a nice walk through the fields.

The cattle roamed different parts of the land, depending on something Xander tried to explain to him with the grass and making sure they didn't destroy the land or something. Wright had only half listened to that while he'd stripped out of his clothes after a day of working. He already told himself he'd steer clear of the ‘big' animals on his own.

"It's mostly just family events," Xander said. "We will rent out the field that you cleaned up today for special events for those that want a country feel. Sometimes it's locals that just need a large space, but most of the people either come from the city or up north and think it's a cute place to live."

Wright smiled at his use of the word cute. He knew that it was hard work to run a place like Family Ranch. Between keeping up the grounds, raising and herding cattle, all the work the horses required; it was a lot and that was why Wright wanted to help out however he could. He wanted to be part of that.

"They're beautiful," Wright said as they stopped by one of the stalls. The horse stuck its head over the door and Xander reached up to scratch behind its ear. It was black in color with a white patch on its face and much taller than Wright. The nose- snout? - was eye level with him. The horse's head was taller than Xander. The height alone was intimidating in close proximity.

"We'll get them used to you before you work with them or attempt to ride. They're all pretty tame, but you want to be careful with animals as big as them. This is Benito. He's a Mustang and a sweetheart. Just watch him around mud because he has a love for it and will roll around. I ride him mostly."

At least one of us has something to ride,Wright thought to himself. The joke was there, but Xander was already moving to grab something off the wall next to Benito's stall and he followed him toward the other end of the barn. Xander explained the layout of the barn as they went. There was a door to the left that Xander moved to. Wright tried to take everything in. The smell of the barn wasn't the prettiest, but it was still fresh. He knew that they cleaned the stalls out twice a day; mucking, Xander called it. The aisle area, and the open stalls on their left were all clean. According to Patrick, the barn had been rebuilt ten years ago. It was weathered in areas on the outside but looked new inside. The wood was Pine, giving a yellow-orange glow with the setting sun outside.

"This is the tack room," Xander said. Wright turned back to the door they'd been walking toward. He tore his eyes from the rafters above him to the room. It wasn't large, about the size of one of the stalls they'd passed. But Wright's breath caught in his throat when he took in the contents. Xander was moving around, talking, but Wright couldn't focus on his words. There were saddles on stands, contraptions hanging on the wall. But, to the right against the side wall, were a bunch of ropes. All colors and sizes: tan, blue, red, multi-colored. Immediately, he was back in the living room with his dad. That one piece of rope, his prized possession his dad called it, laying on the mantle of the fireplace under the TV. It was a tan color, rough, frayed. It burned around his wrists and left welts on his back when it hit him.

"Wright?" a voice was right next to him. It wasn't Xander, but Wright couldn't tear his eyes away from that corner of the room. Couldn't stop replaying the last time his dad hit him with that damn rope. It left cuts on his legs for days, which stung every time the fabric of his jeans rubbed against them. And he had to wear the jeans because the bruises would show if not. "Hey, are you okay? Xander-"

A hand on his shoulder finally pushed him back from the memory and he flinched away from the touch. He could feel the tears on his cheeks. Xander was standing in front of him, with a damn rope or something in his hand. Patrick was standing to his right, his hand on his shoulder. Wright looked down at the floor between the three of them.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Xander's voice was gentle, right in front of his face. "Wright, look at me please."

"Give him a minute," Patrick's voice was deep, steady. Wright took a deep breath, trying to distinguish the different smells invading his senses. The hay, that musky scent of leather. He could hear one of the horses whining, something was knocking against the wood with a solid thud. He took another deep breath before he could finally move.

He looked up to see both Patrick and Xander staring at him. For a flash, he saw his father. But he blinked rapidly and shook his head. He couldn't find the words, but he stepped forward and knocked the thing from Xander's hand and then wrapped his arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. Xander's arms held him, one around his back and the other brushing fingers through his hair. Wright closed his eyes and breathed in Xander's scent. He was sweaty but Xander's natural scent calmed him, grounded him.

"Take him to the house and y'all get cleaned up," Patrick was saying. Wright didn't want to move. Not yet. "I'll finish up here."

"No." Wright said. He tightened his eyes and then tilted his head back to look up at Xander and then over at Patrick. "I'm sorry. I just- We can finish here first. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Patrick said. "And I was about to help Xander with this anyway. It's why I came in. Just go get cleaned up and we'll talk about it when you're ready, okay?"

Wright nodded and Xander led him out of the barn and to the guest house. He squinted against the setting sun until they were back inside. "Take your boots off here, gorgeous."

He stopped and looked down. His body was going on autopilot, his mind reeling a mile a minute. His boots weren't muddy, but they were grass stained and he was sure there was dirt underneath them. He and Xander had spent yesterday evening cleaning up inside, dancing and laughing together. Wright spent hours having fun, truly enjoying the most mundane tasks like dusting and wiping out the fridge. He'd never had help cleaning before. It was fun. Xander had made a joke about him being on his knees, which had Wright wiggling his eyebrows. He'd been rewarded for a good job cleaning with a body consuming orgasm before Xander tucked him to his side and they fell asleep. It'd been another blowjob and Wright wanted to return the favor, but Xander promised him they'd do something soon. He had a plan, he said.

"I'm sorry, Xander." Wright found his voice as they walked down the hallway. Xander opened the door to the bathroom and flipped the light on. The dull whirr of the exhaust fan gave him a noise to focus on.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Xander whispered. He shrugged out of his flannel and pulled his tee over his head. Wright's eyes scanned his bare skin. The dark hair that was just thick enough across his chest and down, disappearing past his jeans. His skin was tan, the start of a line where his shirt had been on his arms. His muscles were large. Where Xander could nearly wrap his hand around Wright's upper arm, he wasn't sure he could even touch his hands together around Xander's. "We'll talk whenever you're ready. Do you want to shower alone? I can sit right here and wait for you."

"Not really," Wright said. He looked down at his own clothes. His hands were by his side. He couldn't get them to move. "I don't think I'll be able to do much more than stand under the water."

"I've got you," Xander said. He smiled and Wright wanted to sink into his body again. To be safe, to take that memory of his father away for good. Wright let Xander undress him, moving his limbs like a doll. He never took his eyes off Xander's face. His features were hard, his beard growing in the thickest he'd seen it since they met. He remembered the way it scratched his skin, the way he welcomed that feeling as he laid on the bed while Xander explored his body. He focused on that feeling, replacing each lash of the rope with the memory of Xander. "Come here, baby."

The shower didn't last long. Xander kept it short and sweet. He washed his hair and maneuvered him this way and that to rinse him off. Once they were out and towel dried off, Wright finally let his mind take back over and he dressed himself. He settled for a pair of shorts that looked like they were supposed to be mid-thigh length but hit his knees. He paired it with a plain blue tee, one of his own since they'd be going to the main house for supper tonight. Xander dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a red shirt that sat tight across his shoulders and chest. The smallest hint of hair peeked from the stretched collar.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Xander asked when they sat side-by-side on the bed. He was slipping a fresh pair of socks on and Wright curled his toes against the floor. "Was it something I said or did?"

"No," Wright said quickly. "It was the room. The ropes. It brought up a bad memory for me and I think my brain just went back into shutdown mode." Xander didn't say anything else. He put his foot back down and gently took Wright's hand, interlacing their fingers and lifting it to kiss the back of Wright's hand. Wright smiled at the small gesture. He looked up into Xander's eyes, the seriousness of his expression and the way the blue never seemed to dull. Even in the dark night, like when they'd spent hours in his truck bed, his eyes were clear and telling Wright his every thought. At least, he felt like that. "My dad had- has- this rope on display in the living room. He says it was his grandfather's or great-grandfather's. I don't remember. Apparently his side of the family are farmers somewhere up north, I guess. It was an heirloom of sorts passed down through generations."

Wright took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He focused on the feeling of Xander's body next to him, his thumb rubbing small circles on his wrist. Doctor Pillar had already texted him with details of the therapist he wanted him to talk to. They had an initial meeting on Wednesday morning to discuss if she'd be a right fit to help him. He'd have to talk about all of this anyway.

"He liked to use it," Wright continued. He fought to keep his voice steady, but he could feel that fear and tension, the scrapes and cuts, the reddened skin from it being wrapped around his hands. "When he was especially drunk, he would ramble on about how his family worked hard and that I was a disgrace. He would yell at me for being the reason my mom left and then get mad all over again thinking about that and he'd pull it down from its spot and hit me. Or wrap it around my wrists if I accidentally dropped or spilled something. Said if I didn't have any hands, at least I'd have an excuse to be useless."

Xander muttered something under his breath, a curse maybe, but Wright couldn't understand it. He went willingly when Xander wrapped his arms around him and pulled him to sit on his lap. He did it so effortlessly; it was both welcoming and hot. His brain was in no position to think about that right now. Instead, it calmed at the closeness, the safety that Xander was giving him. What he'd been severely lacking for his whole life. He could barely remember a time when his mom would hold him, comfort him. His dad wanted him to be a man from an early age and that meant coddling wasn't acceptable. Neither was crying.

But right now, Xander just held him tight as the tears flowed. He hated the balance he was in; knowing he was abused all those years, but not realizing how bad it really was until he had to explain it in pieces to someone who was nothing but kind to him. Yeah, being hit by a parent wasn't normal, but it was long after that first hit that he learned it. His dad called it tough love. His mom called it discipline when he raised his voice and locked him in his room for hours without food.

He wasn't sure how long they sat like that. Xander rubbed his hand in a circle on his back, whispered short words in his ear. He massaged his shoulders and the back of his neck, worked his fingertips down Wright's spine. It was all comforting.

"Thank you," Wright said with a smile. He lifted his hands to swipe his fingers over Wright's cheeks and smiled back.

"You don't have to thank me," Xander said softly. "I'll always be here for you. I'm sorry for what you've gone through, gorgeous. The more you tell me, the more I wish I could give him a dose of his own medicine."

"He isn't worth it," Wright said. He twisted, repositioning his legs so he was straddling Xander's lap with his knees on the edge of the bed. He loved how perfectly he fit against the older man. He rested his hands on Xander's shoulders and looked him directly in the eye. "I just want to focus on this. Being here. Living with you. I like this life."

"I like this life too," Xander said. His hands snaked under Wright's shirt but didn't move much beyond squeezing his hips. "But I don't want you to push this down, okay? You were in a lot of pain for a long time, Wright. You need to open up and talk about it. Promise me that you'll take this therapy seriously." Wright had told him what the phone number was for before they'd gone to bed that night. "I love that you're healed physically, but it's going to take a lot longer to heal the wounds inside."

"Such a poet." Wright rolled his eyes. He would take it seriously. But it didn't mean he couldn't give Xander a hard time about it. He moved his arms to wrap around his neck, leaning forward just slightly so their faces were only inches apart. "I think I have some other internal wounds that you could help me with sooner than later, though."

"You had to ruin the moment, didn't you?"

Wright could feel a genuine smile cross his face and he laughed, his breath fanning over Xander's lips. They closed the distance together. Wright closed his eyes and let the feeling of Xander's lips take over all his senses. Xander's tongue teased him and he let him take the lead without complaint. His hand gripped the back of his hair and Xander tugged to reposition his head to deepen the kiss. Wright scooted forward, pushing his groin against Xander's abdomen. His hands sank lower, dipping under his shorts and squeezing Wright's ass. His hands were huge and he could feel himself growing hard at the thought of those hands on other parts of his body again. For weeks, they'd been playing this game of Don't Hurt Wright. It wasn't actually a game and he knew he needed the time to heal, but now that he had the all clear, he wanted more. He wanted all of it.

"Slow down, baby."

Xander's words were breathy and he pulled back but kept his hands firmly on each cheek. Wright realized he'd been rocking his hips back and forth, too caught up in the feelings. He looked down and saw that Xander had somehow shifted his boxers and his dick was visible and sticking straight up, still trapped in the waistband of his shorts.

"We have to go to supper," Wright said matter-of-factly. He looked from his erection to Xander. "You know, you really have the tendency to get me hard in the most inopportune times."

"This is my fault?" Xander asked. He moved his hands and Wright immediately missed them. "How?"

Wright moved his hands to play with the baby hairs at Xander's nape. "Because you're sweet and considerate and amazing and so fucking hot all the fucking time."

"Filthy mouth, gorgeous." Xander stood up suddenly and Wright was tossed on his back onto the bed. After a quick breath, he laughed and Xander placed one knee on the bed and leaned over Wright to rest on his hands. He dropped his shoulders and kissed him deeply again. Wright's hands wrapped around to the back of his shoulders, relishing in the feel of hard muscles and warm skin. "I'm not going to do anything right after you broke down crying. It's not something I'm comfortable with. But, after supper, if you're good mentally, we can have a little fun before bed. Sound good?"