Chapter 40

Had I resorted to stalking my wife again?

Yes, I had.

Did I feel guilty about it?

Only a little—but not enough to make me stop.

Besides, it wasn’t like I followed her. I simply stood along the side of the pack house and used my wolf hearing to keep tabs on her conversation with Raven once I realized they’d gone inside.

I’d caught the tail end of Genevieve crying. Every sob shredded another piece of my heart. Fuck, I never should’ve confronted her fucking dad. Eventually—and I had no idea how—Raven had her laughing so hard she was wheezing. The sound made my dick uncomfortably hard against my zipper. I loved Genevieve’s laugh. Nothing compared to it.

I dropped my damn near-dead cigarette to the grass and squashed it. As I did, I pulled out a third one. Yeah, I was fucking chain-smoking to deal with my stress. Between Genevieve’s father and the fucking puppy squad, I was tapped out. My brothers circled like the fucking pack animals they were, keeping a close eye on me as I took a few moments alone. Delcan worked his magic with the pack, intercepting conversations on my behalf and charming the hell out of everyone who came our direction. Lucas and Finn animatedly held off people in tandem, regaling anyone who’d listen with stories from the Fall Games. Nolan stood close to Lucas—some things never changed—and chimed in where applicable. Sam hung around on the porch in wolf form with his ears twitching as he silently kept watch. He worried me. How long would he stay in form this time?

I appreciated them but fuck. I had to get my shit together and just deal with it. All of it. But I felt fucking stuck—my feet trapped in proverbial quicksand. Anxiety had a fucking vice grip on my chest when I thought too much about everything.

“Stalker!” Maverick shouted when he saw me. Despite the drive, the man had clearly never left vacation mode from the looks of his sweatpants, wrinkled t-shirt, and slippers—fucking slippers.

“Douchebag!” I grinned as he joined me. “You’re looking comfortable as shit.”

“I made Axel drive.” He chuckled and grabbed my cigarette to take a long drag before handing it back. “I took a fucking nap.”

“I want a fucking nap,” I grumbled. “Drive go okay?”

“Besides Alice fucking with him from her bike as he drove… yeah.”

“What the fuck did she do now?”

“Well—” Shouting cut him off. Alice stormed across the lawn, screaming her head off, with Cole right behind her in an attempt to stop her. Axel met her ferocity in a downright volatile way. Declan stepped in to try to mediate, but all he managed to do was catch Alice around the waist when she took a swing at Axel. He hauled her off her feet and walked her tiny, shrieking self away while Cole told off Axel. What the hell happened? Props to my brother because that bitch flailed like a fucking fish out of water. “God, they’re going to fucking kill each other.”

“Eh.” Maverick shrugged. He was completely unfazed by the whole thing. “They just need access to a bathroom.”

“What?”

“Look,” he sighed heavily, “you don’t know a fucking thing, got it? Not a fucking thing.”

“Got it,” I replied slowly, completely intrigued by whatever the fuck he was about to say.

“The two of them have been hate fucking each other—”

“What?” I exclaimed. There was no fucking way. My gaze snapped back across the lawn where Axel and Alice were glaring at each other. “You’re fucking with me.”

“Nope, I’m not. They think I don’t know. They think no one knows. It started… what? Five years ago? Six years ago? Remember that fucking blowout they had? Almost set the fucking bar on fire?”

“Six years ago. She hit him in the head with a beer bottle.” Shit. I remembered that night clear as fucking day. The two of them rarely actually hit each other—it was always a lot of yelling—but that night he took a fucking swing at her, and she took him out.

“Yeah, well, they ended up in a bathroom and took it out on each other by fucking,” Maverick said. “It’s been like that ever since. Every Fall Games, every stop, the two of them yell and scream until they hate fuck each other in a bathroom, and then they’re good.”

“Wait,” I faltered. No fucking way. “Every stop? The Stone clubhouse too?”

“Yeah. Night of the scavenger hunt. Always a bathroom though. I think they’d combust if they got into a fucking bed together.”

I bit back a pathetic groan. Jesus fucking Christ. I’d jerked off in the bathroom while Axel and Alice hooked up right outside the door. What the ever-loving fuck was wrong with me? Was just adding that to the list of fucking things they couldn’t find out. Ever.

“Why the fuck do they hate each other?” I asked. “I know it started when they were kids, but why? Does anyone know why? Do they at this point?”

“Fuck,” Maverick growled. He scrubbed a hand over his face and stole my cigarette again. “The first time he got cancer, the chemo wrecked his hair. Dad ended up just shaving him bald because of how patchy it was. Axel was fucking broken over it. Hats, scarves, none of it. He wanted nothing to do with any of it.”

“I remember that.” Mom had sat us all down to have a serious conversation about what it’d be like seeing Axel that way, going through what we should and shouldn’t say to him.

“Well, Alice and her sisters were over once, and she made fun of him being bald,” he told me. “And Axel just lost his shit—poor kid. He was already in such a fucking mood that day, and she was the cherry on top with her comments. He shoved her down the stairs.”

“Yes!” I exclaimed as the memory dawned on me. “Didn’t she get hurt?”

“Broke her fucking arm, fractured two ribs, and broke her ankle. She was on a traveling soccer team but had to quit. She turned into the queen of grudges,” he replied. “Two and a half years later when the cancer came back, Dad shaved his hair off right from the start. When she caught wind, she fucking poked the bear. Problem was, even though he felt like crap, Axel hadn’t dropped weight yet, and she didn’t know how to fight. So, his dumbass pinned her down and fucking shaved her head.”

“She made fun of a cancer kid and none of you thought to fucking tell her?” I demanded. Jesus fucking Christ. Talk about a fucking disaster. That poor woman would feel like shit when she found out.

“The Stones don’t know what he went through,” Maverick said, and I frowned. “Cole was too busy trying to raise his sisters to help out much when we were kids. Fuck, he was barely an adult raising three little girls and running a fucking pack because his dad was a drunken dick who didn’t want kids. I couldn’t have done that shit. Dad relied on your Mom for shit. We spent a lot of time with you while he went through treatment. It was the only reason you furry fucks even know.”

“Fuck,” I mumbled. That made sense. “Someone has to tell her.”

“You fucking tell her and I’ll make you eat your tail, Byrne.” Shit, feisty little fuck. I knew better than to cross Maverick though. He was calm and collected, sure, but I’d seen under his mask a few times. He was those things intentionally. Set him off, and he’d hand you your ass… in pieces.

“Still a shitty thing to do, not telling her,” I commented. Okay, yeah, I liked to poke the wolf. Before I could say more, Declan motioned for me to follow him. Fuck. This was it. I dropped my cigarette and took my time putting it out. I muttered, “Time to feed me to the fucking wolves.”

“Were you always this dramatic?” Lucas chuckled as he threw an arm around my shoulders. “I feel like you weren’t this dramatic.”

“No, he definitely was,” Finn said as he closed in on my other side.

“Two against one, I could still take you, you little shits,” I replied without a single drop of malice in my voice. I fucking loved them, even if they drove me up a fucking wall.

My brothers and I took our spot on the back steps—even Sam padded over and flopped down near us. The Ironwoods and the Stones joined us, leaning back against the wrap-around porch rails to make themselves comfortable. We waited quietly as the pack gathered and got comfortable.

“What happened to Cade and Isla?” Nolan asked quietly as he scanned the group.

“We used the front door like normal people,” Cade announced obnoxiously. He came out the back door with Raven on his back.

“Mo bhràthair,” Isla chastised. She strolled out casually behind him, arm in arm with Genevieve. I shoved my brothers off as I stood a little taller around her.

“What?” he shot back, and Raven slapped him in the shoulder. “Normal people use the front door! That’s all I’m saying! They don’t go screaming across the lawn like heathens.”

“Say that to my face, smart ass,” Alice challenged gruffly.

“Please, do. I’d love to see her kick your fucking ass,” I chimed in. God, how I wanted to fucking see that happen. I probably would’ve cried laughing and been no help at all. The way Genevieve glanced in my direction at my comment only made me feel bad for the words. Damn it. That look did more to knock me down a few fucking pegs than anything else.

“Evening,” Declan said, his voice loud and carrying over everyone. I watched with interest as the pack hung onto his every word. It was obvious from how his arms crossed tight over his chest and his shoulders went rigid that he was uncomfortable. That didn’t surprise me. Declan had a fucking way with small groups of people, not big ones. Raven must’ve noticed. She slid off Cade’s back and stood next to Declan, her hand rubbing up and down his back. I didn’t miss how he visibly relaxed under her touch. “The Fall Games have come to Cedar Harbor—”

A delighted cheer rose across the lawn, drowning out his prepared speech. I grinned. The mood of the pack was fucking addictive. One side glance across the porch and I caught sight of Genevieve’s smile. Fuck, she was gorgeous.

“As always, we’ve got the Ironwoods and the Stones with us,” he continued over everyone. It took a hot fucking minute but silence ensued. “And this year, we have a new pack with us. We’ve talked about it, but this is the first time we’ve had the Lochlans present for the Fall Games.”

That one sentiment turned the mood of the pack. Apprehension. Worry. And a healthy dose of fear. It was fucking understandable. We were in new fucking territory.

But Declan, with the help of Maverick and Cole, talked the pack through the introductions for both Cade and Isla. I remained silent and watched my brother—brothers really as Nolan, Lucas, and Finn took their openings to chime in their support and thoughts on everything. They were incredible to watch. A well-oiled machine. Flawless and reassuring.

My chest fucking tightened. How the fuck was I supposed to fit in on that?

‘You’re brooding.’Sam’s voice in my head interrupted the onslaught of intrusive thoughts threatening to take over. ‘Grumpy fucker.’

I shifted in my spot to look down at him. His fangs were bared in a wolfish smile.

“I make broody look fucking good,” I whispered with a grin.

‘Nothing looks good on that ugly face,’he retorted. Turning my back on him, I slipped my hand behind me to flick him off and was greeted by his huffing laughter in my head.

“The tides are changing this year, folks!” Finn said as the conversation shifted. “The Byrnes won the first game!”

Yeah, that fucking did us in.The cheering was deafening. The Byrne pack never won shit, so this was a fucking treat for everyone. Their excitement was palpable and infectious.

“And!” he yelled over everyone before pointing in Isla’s direction. “This wild, Scottish thing over here kicked their asses in game number two! Which means, all we have to do is kick some Scottish furry ass—”

“Hey! Watch who you’re calling furry, Byrne,” Isla snapped. When he turned to her, she cocked a brow and waited.

“Pardon me.” Finn bowed dramatically to her, and I snorted. Fucking kid. “All we have to do is kick some gorgeously sculpted Scottish ass tomorrow—is that better? Did you like that? Do I need more adjectives?”

‘Jesus fuck,’ Sam said.

“No, you’re wonderful,” she replied, and he fucking winked at her.

“She thinks I’m wonderful,” he told the pack with a stupid fucking grin, making them laugh. “Think she’ll say the same thing tomorrow when we kick her ass in the final race?”

There was an uproar of a response, but I fucking ignored them as Roan turned around and leaned over the banister. His brows came together in confusion, making me chuckle.

“If I don’t have a chance to fucking win tomorrow,” he began quietly, “why am I fucking running?”

“It’s a legitimate chance to get naked and show off your fucking dick,” I retorted.

“That’s a solid reason.” He nodded slowly. “But I don’t like running.”

“And you do suck at it.”

“Dick.”

“You love me, you furry fuck,” I shot back with a widening grin. “If you don’t run tomorrow, I’ll shift, chase you down, and keep biting your ass to get you moving.”

‘What the fuck is wrong with you two?’ Sam demanded.

“So much,” I said over my shoulder.

“And one last thing before we let the party start tonight,” Declan announced while the noise began to die down. He turned to me and nodded. I drew in a deep breath. This part was all me. No one could fucking do it but me.

Pushing away from the post, I started for the stairs. My gaze collided with Genevieve’s for a brief moment. That tiny smile she offered as reassurance did wonders to ease the galloping of my heart. If only she understood what she did to me.

I tore my attention away, putting my focus where it needed to be. I stepped down the stairs and stood next to my brothers. My gaze slid over the quiet crowd, taking in faces I’d grown up with.

Wolves who had helped raise me.

Wolves who had relied on me.

Wolves I’d let down when I disappeared.

I couldn’t do that again.

“First and foremost, I want to apologize,” I said loudly while shoving my hands in my pockets. My chest tightened, and I dug into my vulnerability just a tiny fucking bit to talk openly with the pack. “Three years ago, I left Cedar Harbor without a word. I know there were a lot of things being said and rumors going around town about me, about my… about the situation with Genevieve. I needed space and time to take care of myself. I’ve spent the last three years living with the Ironwoods. Beyond that, I’m not answering any questions about what happened. I’m asking that you respect my privacy and that you respect Genevieve’s privacy about the matter.”

Yeah, that request didn’t sit well with some of them.I could see it on the fucking faces. Hopefully, they’d leave her the hell alone and come to me with their stupid gossip-fueled questions.

“Secondly,” I forced myself to continue before the anger and frustration of their nosiness got to me. I pulled the following words from memory. I’d recited them a few hundred times on the drive to make sure I got them right. “I, Killian Donovan Byrne, hereby accept my position as a leader of the pack. I promise to lead alongside my brothers with compassion and mindfulness in all matters related to the pack. I promise to hear your worries and concerns and to do whatever is within my power to ease them. I promise to be available and vulnerable for the pack to create a sanctuary and safe haven for all members, new and old. I promise to put the needs of the pack above my own as I work with my brothers to build and ensure the future of this pack. And if I cannot fulfill my duties to the pack, I promise to step down rather than stand in the way of the pack.”

The utter lack of sound as I finished was overwhelming—a fucking taunt as if I couldn’t be a just and fair leader of the pack like my brothers. And deep down, I was fucking terrified they were right.