Chapter 36

There was one way in and out of Cedar Harbor: Main Street. Everything happened on Main Street. Which meant half the fucking town saw when I drove in behind Declan’s big ass truck. Every single fucking pair of eyes followed us. Sure, a ton of people waved at Declan. We even got stuck at the big stop sign while he chatted away with Harper Collins, who looked older than ever in a worrisome way.

As for me? Not a single wave and a lot of wide-eyed staring which meant one of two things: they didn’t recognize me, or they couldn’t believe I was back. I knew I’d changed but not that much. Cedar Harbor’s gossip was about to get a hell of a lot more interesting. At my fucking expense.

God, I hated that about small towns. I loved the community and the quiet. I loved how easy it was to get around and the slow pace. But I fucking hated that gossip was a pastime here.

I smirked. How many fucking times had I vandalized the town sign to reflect that? The answer was so many times that Mom damn near fucking killed me.

I followed Declan across town. The trip would’ve been so much faster if he stopped appeasing the damn world and drove faster than barely ten miles per hour.

Mom’s house hadn’t changed. It was a place out of time with the same porch, the same shutters, the same outdoor furniture, and the same paint. The broken lawn gnome on the side of the house was still there, taped together after Lucas and Finn toppled into it. The dent in the garage was still there from Declan learning to drive and mixing up gears. There was a matching dent on the other side from Nolan after Declan tried to teach him to drive. The shed had a boarded-up window from the time I’d broken it. All the furniture was made of wood and stained different colors thanks to Sam figuring out his craft.

We’d worn down that fucking house. I pushed my sunglasses atop my head as I got out of my jeep and just stared. My heart ached while I took in all the little details. This house welcomed Sam and Finn when their parents died. Cousins became brothers here, diving headfirst into wild shenanigans built on tight bonds and determination. Mom got the call about Dad passing away in this house. A whole town came together with meals, gifts, and helping out as the seven of us figured out how to be a family without him. Fuck, Nolan had only been three at the time. I remembered sneaking into Declan’s room for months because I couldn’t handle the grief alone. This house saw one of the worst moments of my life: Mom finding me after I’d tried to kill myself when I was sixteen. Only Mom, Declan, and Sam knew what happened that night. As far as Lucas, Finn, and Nolan knew, I’d gotten so fucking sick I needed to stay in Olympia.

Fuck, this house had been the start of our story. Genevieve and I had our first kiss on the roof outside my window and hundreds of kisses after that. How often had I snuck off into the woods to see her or vice versa by climbing down that tree by my room? I’d told Mom I was going to marry Genevieve right there on the porch and brought home my fiancé not even a week later. Every fall, we’d eat donuts on the porch, and I’d sing songs I’d written for her while she stared at me like I hung the moon and the stars for her. I fell in love with her more and more every day in this old house.

We were supposed to start a family and surprise Mom with grandkids. We had plans to buy a new playground for the next generation of Byrnes. There were so many things we had dreamed of for our life, stories we’d shared with the stars as we laid out in the backyard late at night.

All of it—our whole story—came from this house. And fuck, it hurt just to look at it.

“My baby boy is home!” Mom exclaimed as the front door flew open. I smiled as I watched her hurry down the stairs to hug me. Yeah, I’d always miss my mom. It didn’t matter that it’d been less than a day—for either of us. With her hair up, her big smile, and her apron tied around her waist, she looked happy.

“Okay, Mom.” I chuckled. I tried to pull away, but she dragged me right back for a tighter hug. “I’m staying. You can hug me all you want later.”

“I’m going to hug you all I want now,” she retorted in my ear. “You get that little wolf behind of yours ready for all the Mama time we have to make up for.”

“There’s no party, right?” I asked hesitantly. She rubbed her hands together when she let me go. That fucking look on her face made me think there was—or there would be.

“Not today. Your Uncle Cil should be here shortly with Maddie, and we have to get to the pack house before the others get here. It’s a whole mess,” Mom said with a sigh. “But I have all the things to make pancakes in the morning for you. Finn’s staying the night at the pack house, so it’ll be just you and me. We can catch up.”

Behind me, Declan fucking chuckled while I bit back a groan. Mom’s notorious talks. Fuck me, I was headed straight for one.

“I was thinking maybe I’d stay with Declan tonight—”

“Sorry, not enough room,” Declan interrupted. Damn it. “Our house is a wreck right now while we build the other one.”

“Pack house?” I muttered. Fuck, to avoid a talk with Mom, I’d stay in the heart of the fucking chaos.

“Not a chance, baby boy,” Mom called over her shoulder, heading back up the stairs. “You’re all mine.”

“Fuck,” I grumbled.

“Language!” she yelled from inside the doorway. Double fuck.

“You never learn, do you?” Declan laughed. “She always hears. Have fun with that.”

“I hate censoring myself,” I whispered. “I’m showing up at your house and fucking staying.”

And I immediately glanced over my shoulder, waiting for her to yell again.

“Not happening,” he replied. “I have a full house. Let’s get your shit unpacked and get out of here before Uncle Cil shows up. We’ll be stuck for the next hour if he starts talking.”

“Does he do that?” I asked. “Visit a lot?”

Uncle Cil had left the pack in favor of not caving to the old pack rules. Before my brothers took over, us Byrnes had to get married and have kids before we turned forty. If we didn’t, we were forced to leave the pack and Cedar Harbor for good. Instead of conforming, Uncle Cil had left Cedar Harbor before we were even born. Unfortunately, that meant he wasn’t here for us, he wasn’t here for Mom after Dad had died, and he missed out on… well, fucking everything.

But when my brothers took over the pack, they made fucking changes. About damn time. Out with the old, in with the new, and all that crap. It turned out the pack didn’t give a fuck about the time constraints or forcing us to leave. Old-world rules fucking sucked. But Sam being the bleeding heart he’d always been, he made sure the rules were retroactive. It meant Uncle Cil could come back, and it gave his daughters the chance to lead the pack alongside us—though, they had no interest in doing so.

“Did you know he and Mom slept together?” Declan demanded.

“What?” I scowled. “No! No! I didn’t want to fucking know that!”

“In the bar.”

“Stop fucking talking! Why would you tell me this?” Full fucking body cringe. I didn’t want to think about Mom that way. Ever. “Jesus fucking Christ, Declan!”

“If I have to be scarred for life, so do you!” he exclaimed with a laugh.

“I hate you, you fucking dick.”

“Welcome home.” Declan grinned as he grabbed a box out of my jeep. “Grab your shit and let’s go.”

What a fucking douchebag.I shuddered one more time. Fuck, I needed to scrub my brain of that memory.

My room hadn’t changed—I wasn’t sure why that surprised me. Maybe I’d thought Mom would finally clear everything out. Most of my shit had left with me when I moved in with Genevieve, but some stuff I’d left behind. My blankets, some old t-shirts and knick-knacks, and a broken guitar. Shit, I didn’t need anymore—shit Mom could’ve easily tossed it all away but hadn’t. Instead, she’d kept the room together as if waiting for me to come back. The sheets were cleaned, the furniture was dusted, and the room was organized. If I went into my brothers’ rooms, did they all look this… preserved?

Fuck, that couldn’t have been good for her. She needed to move on too. It was one thing to have a place for us to stay when we visited, but it was something altogether different for her to hold on to our childhoods. It couldn’t be healthy for her.

The only thing I didn’t recognize in the room was a gift box on the dresser. What the fuck? There was no way in hell Mom got me a coming home present. That wasn’t her style. Pancakes and unwanted conversations were.

“It’s from Raven,” Declan said as he came through the door, dropping my suitcase next to the dresser.

“Why?” I asked, but he only shrugged.

“She likes you,” he replied. “That and she was giggling incessantly at three in the fucking morning over whatever the hell is in there.”

“Language!” Mom hollered from downstairs.

“See? I’m not the only one.” I cracked a fucking grin. Grabbing the box, I took off the lid and tossed it aside. Inside the box was a black and white flannel shirt with a note instructing me to pair it with my leather pants. Sad day for her. I’d gotten rid of my leather pants. Underneath the flannel, however, was a black distressed t-shirt with a gray skull and flower design. With it were the words villains unite. Completely bewildered, I demanded, “When the hell did she have time to get this made?”

“She doesn’t sleep well,” Declan said. There wasn’t an ounce of fucking humor in his voice as he did. “I think she made a matching one for herself, but don’t quote me on that.”

Oh, Jesus fuck.That shouldn’t have fucking surprised me as much as it did. I had a feeling life around Raven Woods was a wild adventure comparable to the fucking shit I pulled.

“You doing okay?” I asked quietly while setting the box aside and giving Declan my full attention. He looked fucking tired and worn down. “You’re looking a little worse for wear.”

“I’m old, Killian. I’m old and I need a nap.”

“Okay, Grandpa.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure your fiancé loves being married to someone old as shit.”

“With age comes experience,” Declan shot back with a cocky grin. “Trust me, she’s not complaining about the experience.”

“Gross.” I gagged, being as dramatic as possible. “Things I don’t need to know. Can you even get it up? Need some Viagra for your birthday?”

“Going to share your supply?” he asked. Fuck. I walked right into that one. My pause made him laugh. “Get your shit together and let’s get to the house.”

“We need to get my bike down from your truck.”

“You’re not riding your bike to the house.”

“Try and fucking stop me.” I had a few good weeks before the weather wasn’t nearly as bike-friendly. If he thought I wasn’t going to spend every minute possible on it while I could, he had another thing coming.

“It’s in the middle of the woods!” he exclaimed.

“Semantics,” I scoffed. “My girl can take anything I give her.”

“All right, but I’m not towing your ass out of the mud when you get stuck,” Declan said. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

As if knowing I needed a minute, he left me to stare at the old furniture. My heart hammered in my chest unsteadily, making my wolf riot wildly. The urge to climb out the window and disappear into the woods was strong.

Coming home was one thing. Even if I didn’t want to, I could handle Mom’s talks over pancakes. I could handle the flood of memories and deal with everything that had happened in this house.

But facing my pack? That was a different matter altogether. I’d just vanished on them. I had to answer the questions I didn’t want to and protect Genevieve in the process. I’d take her secrets with me to the grave, but what would the cost be this time? What else was I willing to give up for her?

What did I even have left to give?