Chapter 29

All right, you fucking morons!” Roan announced into the mic. The feedback was awful, making all of us cringe.

“Fix the mic, you furry fucker!” I shouted.

“Language, Killian,” Mom called from her spot at the bar with Brady.

“Sorry, Mom!”

“Watch your mouth, Captain,” Sam chastised. “There are ladies aboard this ship.”

“I’m going to fucking kill you,” I muttered under my breath. Despite it, I was grinning. “Make you walk the fucking plank.”

Sam lost it, grabbing my shoulder as he fucking laughed his ass off. Yeah, we were leaning stupid hard into the goddamn pirate jokes, but it felt good.

“Don’t get him started,” Declan said. “He’s got a sea of jokes to choose from.”

“Yeah. And most of them are R-rated,” Nolan chimed in, drawing out the R. “We’ll get in trouble with Mom.”

“We’ll just have to stage a mutiny,” Finn replied. I couldn’t breathe. These fuckers.

“All right, everyone shut your fucking traps, will you?” Roan demanded into the mic. At least there was no feedback this time. The furry fucker was the worst when it came to manning the sound system in the bar. Why anyone let him touch the equipment was beyond me. The man was a magic bartender but sucked when it came to the entertainment end. That was Axel’s department—or mine when I was around. “Now, we all fucking—”

“Roan Fletcher Ironwood,” Mom chastised loudly, and I spit out my drink.

“Fletcher?” I exclaimed as I coughed. Sam slapped me on the back, not helping at all. How the hell had I not known his middle name was Fletcher?

“If those boys knew how you used to talk.” Brady chuckled, and Mom leveled him with a glare I was glad I wasn’t on the receiving end of.

“Sorry, Mama B,” Roan said into the mic with a cheesy fucking grin. Fucking ham. “All right, it’s that time of year again when chaos meets pack shenanigans. For the first time ever, the Byrne boys came out on top in Colorado.”

“Those are my boys!” Mom whistled obscenely loud. “I told you my boys would win this year.”

“I didn’t bet against you,” Brady replied, chuckling. “I think my exact words were, it’s about fucking time someone beats Cole Stone’s ass at his own game. And we all know my boys ain’t doing it.”

“Thanks, Dad!” Axel shouted. “Your faith in us is astounding.”

“I have faith in just how much I know you three idiots drink at this thing every year,” he shot back.

“He’s not wrong,” Maverick mumbled.

“For the record,” Cole spoke up, “they won by a fuckin’ hair! I had them.”

“You had nothing!” Sam retorted. “Byrnes all the way!”

“Look, am I ever going to get through what I’m trying to say?” Roan demanded.

“Probably not,” Finn shouted. “I mean, we can make this way worse.”

“I’m talking over all you freaking jack-butts,” he said. I fucking snorted at his censoring. God, Mom would make this whole leg of the trip a fucking blast. “This year is fudging different—I’m trying, Mama B. Just for you, I’m trying. Anyway! Old Man Byrne is getting married!”

A deafening cheer filled the bar while Declan scowled—probably at being called old.

“I’m not old,” he protested. “You’re older!”

“Did I ever tell everyone about the time Declan threatened to kick my sexy rear because I tried to hit on Raven?”

“You never stood a chance,” Raven called back with an all-too-sweet smile. “We both know Declan’s definitely the bigger man here.”

We all fucking lost it. Oh, fuck me. All the air left my lungs as I wheezed.

“Raven!” Declan exclaimed, turning red around the ears. “My mom’s in the bar!”

“Oh, please.” She waved him off. “She knows what your dick looks like. She gave birth to you.”

This fucking woman.

“We filter our thoughts, Raven! Filter our thoughts,” Cade told her, but his words didn’t match the shit-eating grin on his face.

“No, no,” I interjected. “Villains share all the thoughts, Raven. Share all the thoughts.”

“Don’t encourage it,” Declan growled.

“Don’t you worry, Captain,” she teased. “I’ll share all the thoughts.”

Fuck, I loved this woman. She was the exact opposite of everything I’d ever expected Declan to find in a wife, but shit, she was wild.

“To get this shi… to get this party started,” Roan continued over us, “Killian has a little something he wants to give Old Man Byrne and his wild bride.”

“No, he doesn’t!” Declan quipped immediately.

“Yes, he does,” I said in a sing-song voice. Oh, I fucking did.

I made quick work of grabbing my guitar from the front of the karaoke stage while Raven switched to Declan’s lap with an utter look of excitement on her face. The wild child in her would probably love this stunt, which made it all the better.

“You know,” I began as I stood on my chair, “when we were kids, we all knew we’d end up getting married—that whole pack progression thing, right? Anyway, we decided to draw names for the best man.”

Declan and I fucking rigged that goddamn draw.Mostly because we knew Sam wanted to be Finn’s best man, considering everything the two of them had been through. It’d been a fucking feat, but we did it.

“So, this giant ass lumberjack—”

“Lumbersnack!” Raven yelled over me. Declan’s hand covered her mouth as he pulled her to his chest to shut her up, but it was too late. Damage fucking done.

“Lumbersnack! Lumbersnack! Lumbersnack!” The Ironwoods beat their hands on the table with each syllable. My brothers, the Stones, Isla, and Cade followed suit. Soon enough, the whole damn bar was in on it as Declan turned a shade of red I’d never seen on a person. I grinned like a motherfucker while I sang the fucking word.

“All right, all right, all right!” I shouted over everyone and strummed an angry chord to get their attention. The chanting dissolved into laughter and playfully shoving Declan in his seat. When it all slowed, I continued, “Anyway, I got this fucker—”

“Language!” Mom hollered from across the bar, and I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you roll those pretty blue eyes at me, Killian Donovan Byrne.”

I turned red around the ears and rotated to stare at her while everyone laughed. How the fuck had she known? She smirked and raised her glass in my direction.

“Anyway! As I was saying, I got this… idiot in the draw, which let’s face it, we all never thought we’d see the day he actually got married after dragging his paws so da… dang long,” I stated. Jesus fucking Christ, trying to censor myself was a fucking feat. “But I guess it took the right villain to change his mind.”

I winked at Raven as she beamed.

“Now, this means I’ve got best man duties for your wedding. I figured, what better way to make it all about me than to sing a song for you,” I told them. “And I have the perfect fu… freaking song I want to play at your wedding, so to celebrate your engagement, I’m going to give you a preview.”

“You don’t have to,” Declan said quickly.

“Oh, but I do.” I fucking smirked. I was too damn excited for this bullshit. He had no clue what I was about to hit him with.

“Just let him sing to us, baby,” Raven cut in. She kissed his cheek as he held her closer. “It’s a sweet idea.”

“You don’t know him the way I do, honey,” he replied. “It’s not sweet when Killian does anything.”

“Trust me, you’ll love it.” Or try to take my ass out later. It was really up in the air. “This one’s for the happy couple and to kick off round two of the Fall Games.”

Without further ado, I began strumming on my guitar. I’d spent weeks perfecting my rendition of ‘A Guy Walks Into A Bar’. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Raven damn near folded in half, recognizing the melody immediately, while Declan frowned as he tried to place it.

Music was my thing, and I had no problem with performing. I loved the fucking high of belting the lyrics out loud and watching how it changed a crowd. I weaved my way through the first verse, my rich voice carrying through the quiet bar. When I hit the chorus, Declan fucking sighed.

“Oh, come on!” he exclaimed. I kept going, working my way through the second verse. Glancing down, I winked at Sam and Lucas, who nodded. Yeah, the song was only part of the surprise. When I hit the second round of the chorus, Sam, Lucas, Finn, and Nolan hopped up on their chairs to join me. Beers raised, they belted out the chorus with me while Declan’s face only deepened in color.

Poor luck, buddy. I wasn’t fucking done.

I strummed and swayed my way through the bridge. My gaze slid around the table where the other pack leaders were grinning like idiots along with us. The second I hit that chorus one last time, all of them climbed on their chairs—drinks and voices raised loudly. Mom and Brady got into it from across the bar. Even Raven sang along from her spot on Declan’s lap as he hid his face between her shoulder blades.

It was fucking perfection.

“Raise your fucking beers to the best fucking lumbersnack a guy can know!” I yelled as I wrapped up the song. And the entire bar did—complete with another loud as fuck chanting of the word lumbersnack. That was the fucking icing on the cake. “Love you, Declan.”

“I’m seriously questioning that,” Declan retorted, but that grin on his face said otherwise.

“Again!” Raven exclaimed.

“I’m not a circus act, woman.” I stepped off my chair and took my guitar off. She pouted. Fuck, I caved so goddamn fast. “Later. Fuck, why does that look work?”

“She’s perfected it,” Cade said.

“You’re not singing that at my wedding,” Declan insisted.

“Oh, but I am, fucker,” I retorted. “I’m coming up with a whole goddamn playlist.”

“It’s free entertainment.” Raven shrugged. “We don’t even need to get a band. We can just put your brother up in front of everyone with the guitar. And he has to do it because he’s the best man.”

“No!” I said quickly. Hold the fuck up. I was not free entertainment. “I don’t have to do shit!”

“But what if the bride asks for it?” Declan replied with a grin.

“Oh, you fucker.”

“You offered to sing,” she stated. “And I would personally just love it if you’d sing the whole time. During all the getting ready shit, the ceremony, the pictures, the reception… do you think we could get him to serenade us for the sexy after-the-reception pictures we have planned?”

“The what?” Declan and I demanded. My eyes widened. Shit, when this woman rolled with something, she went all out.

“It’s not like we’ll be naked.” She waved us off.

“What?” Alice cut in, clearly catching only the naked part.

“I saw this super cute post-wedding photography idea,” Raven gushed immediately. “It was this little intimate photo shoot between the wedding couple… a little sexy, a little sweet… dark lighting. I want it.”

“I’ve seen those,” she said. A wide smile curled her lips as she stared at Declan. Oh, that poor fucker. She was about to piss him off. I knew that look.“Have you seen the weddin’ boudoir ones? With the couple?”

Declan choked on his water while Raven gasped.

“We should do that!” Raven turned to him.

“No!” He shook his head adamantly. “We aren’t doing that!”

“And I’m not singing to you all day long,” I chimed in.

“But the bride wants it…” She pouted, and I looked away, focusing hard on my brother. I refused to stare at her and her witchy magic skills.

“If the bride wants it, you got to do it, boy,” Cole told him with a laugh.

“You should let him wear flannel for it,” Finn offered up loud enough for everyone to hear. Fuck me. I should’ve thought of that.

Declan groaned, and his head dropped to her shoulder as yet another round of lumbersnack chanting rose through the bar. I joined in enthusiastically because why the fuck not. He’d get his payback later—I had no doubt of that. But I was determined to live it up now.