Chapter 27

Iwas a pack animal. Pack animals needed cuddles.

I kept telling myself that to justify being sandwiched between Raven and Cade in Raven’s bed. Raven lay facing me, her fingers laced through mine, while Cade took being a big spoon to a brand new level. The man was nearly a jetpack with how he curled against my back. But the weight of his arm around my ribs was comforting as was Raven’s sleepy smile. Even Holly wedged herself between me and Raven.

It was nice, even if I did feel bad that Declan had left without a word after I showed up. After Killian abandoned me in the pool room, I used what little I had left in me to pull myself together. Rather, I held it together long enough to get to Raven’s room. Declan barely had the door open before I’d broken down sobbing. For the better part of two hours, Cade and Raven kept me tucked between them as I sobbed my broken-all-over-again heart out. I didn’t tell them what happened, and they didn’t ask.

“I don’t have to stay,” I said once more in a hushed voice. I couldn’t stay there all night. It was rude. Somehow we’d gone from comforting me while crying to all being half-asleep in her bed.

“Oh, please, you’re not going anywhere,” Raven scoffed. But I could see just how tired she was. I knew all the travel and weird schedules were taking a toll on her sleep disorder.

“But—”

“Shut the fuck up and go the fuck to sleep,” Cade grumbled, making Raven giggle.

“He’s grumpy when he’s tired,” she whispered.

“Stop gossiping, you horrible wench,” he muttered, and she snorted.

“Fat chance, old man. He needs eight hours of beauty sleep before he sits outside to yell at children for being on his lawn.”

“It’s my damn lawn. Don’t need no crotch goblins fucking with my grass.”

“You don’t have grass,” I reminded him. “You have a penthouse.”

“But I also have grass,” Cade said. “I have a house. In the woods. With a big ass fence to keep the kids off my lawn.”

“See?” Raven smiled. “Grumpy old man.”

“Don’t make me tie your ass to the bed.”

“She’d like that too much,” Declan commented as he slipped into the room. I peeked over Raven’s shoulder, watching him move to the bathroom. The pensive expression on his face worried me. Was he upset I was here?

“Really,” I began as I tried to extract myself from Cade, but his arm pinned me tighter, “I can go back to my room.”

“You’re staying, Ginny,” Declan said from the bathroom, his tone offering no room for argument. I followed his movements as he came out in sweatpants and turned off the lights. “It’s late, you’re tired, there’s a mound of people in our bed, it’s whatever at this point. Just get some sleep where you feel safe.”

Safe. That word shot straight through my heart—a dagger slicing me in half. When would I ever feel truly safe again? I’d tied all those feelings and securities to Killian, and he’d shattered every one of them. New tears threatened to spill over. I bit down hard on my lip to stop them.

“It’s okay,” Raven assured me gently. Her hand tightened around mine, and she scooted closer as Declan took up the open space behind her. “We want you here.”

“I don’t belong here,” I told her. Rather pathetically, I might add. Cade grunted behind me while giving me a little jolt. Declan’s hand found my forearm, squeezing tight.

“You belong,” she replied. “Do you think Esther and Vera’s husbands cared if a giant cuddle pile happened when one needed the other?”

“Those women are lesbians,” Cade cut in. “They weren’t cuddling each other for comfort.”

“Lesbians or not, they’re old lady goals,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “You’re the Esther to my Vera.”

“Always.” I sniffled.

“I feel left out,” Cade commented. “Hey, Declan—”

“If I say yes, will you shut up and go to sleep?” Declan interrupted. I held my tongue, biting back a laugh while Raven’s entire body shook with one.

“Yes.”

“Then fine.” Declan sighed. “But I’m not feeling up men in my old age. Or now. Or ever. That’s all you. I’ll punch the guys who get mad when you do it.”

“I’ll take that deal.” Cade chuckled.

“Then shut up and go to sleep,” he said. “You too, honey. You need sleep. And you, Ginny.”

“So responsible,” I told him.

“I’m okay with being responsible.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Good night, Ginny.”

With what little wiggle room she had, Raven scooted closer—Declan moving with her—and pressed her forehead to mine.

“It’ll be okay,” she whispered.

“It won’t be,” I said in earnest. I couldn’t imagine any of this being okay. Not unless I went back to burying everything.

“Not today, not tomorrow… probably not even next week, but it will. Eventually, it will,” she insisted, coming from a place of experience. “And you aren’t alone. You’ve got me and these two. And Nolan. And Sam and Finn and Lucas. Lord knows Maeve would burn down the town for you if she had to. You’re not alone, Ginny. I promise.”

That last sentiment uncorked the emotions I’d been holding back. The floodgates opened all over again, and tears streamed down my face in silence. I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep. I was good at that. After all, I’d done so every night for three years.

Sneaking out of bed before dawn was a feat—one I was proud to have accomplished, considering how crammed the four of us were along with Holly. No one woke as I slipped out of bed and grabbed my clothes from the night before. I stared down at the pajamas Raven had given me. I didn’t want to put back on the other clothes. Shoot. I’d just have to return them to her later.

Raven had offered me her rental car as a way to go home early, even though she argued that I should stay. I didn’t want to. I’d overstayed my welcome. I couldn’t be in the same place as Killian. Opening myself up to that kind of… whatever we were doing was too much for me. I needed peace. I needed my home.

I needed a place away from him.

I made it about as far as putting my bags in the car before I was surrounded by Byrnes—well, all but one.All were in just a pair of sweatpants except for Finn, who was completely naked. I quickly averted my eyes. Nope. Didn’t want to see that. I’d always been very careful about where I looked when the Byrnes were in varying states of nakedness.

“Be careful on the wet roads with this thing,” Sam announced while Declan grabbed my bag from me to put it in the car. “Those tires won’t get good traction. Just because Raven drove like an idiot in it last night—”

“Hey!” Declan interjected.

“She took out the curb!” Lucas retorted.

“It wasn’t the curb,” he replied, and I giggled. “It was the driveway… yeah, don’t drive like her, please. I have a feeling she’ll end up buying this thing by the end of the rental period.”

“I’ll be careful, promise,” I said.

“Good.” Sam nodded.

“And let me know when you get home?” Nolan asked quietly. “It’s supposed to be crazy rain all day.”

These boys…

“I’ll drive slow, and I’ll watch the road, and I’ll text you when I get home,” I promised with a smile.

“And turn signals!” Finn exclaimed. I bit my lip trying not to laugh at him. He was clearly still drunk, which would explain the nakedness.

“I’ll use my turn signals, promise.”

“Cross your heart?” he demanded.

“What is she? Five?” Lucas shoved him in the shoulder.

“Five feet.” Finn giggled.

“God, you’re drunk.” He rolled his eyes.

“Just give me a minute,” Declan said. After a long minute of just staring at Finn, he added, “We’ll lose him in the woods if we take him for a run like that.”

“Worth it!” Lucas announced.

“Come here.” Finn threw his arms open to hug me, but Sam planted a hand on his chest.

“Kid, you don’t have pants on,” he said.

“Oh, fuck,” he replied, drawing out the word as he stared down. “Who stole my pants?”

“Put that idiot back to bed,” Declan ordered.

“I don’t want to go to bed,” Finn complained.

“Fuck it. I’m carrying him.” Not giving him a chance to protest, Lucas grabbed his brother and lifted him in a firefighter’s lift. “Oh, God! There’s a dick next to my ear!”

“Hey, Finn,” Sam called. “Ella’s tits.”

“Fuck, I love her tits.” Finn giggled. “They’re such nice tits.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, it’s poking me!” Lucas exclaimed while we laughed. “Stop turning him on!”

“And water!” Declan yelled after them as Sam went with them. “Get some fucking water in him!”

“It’ll be a miracle if all of them survive the games,” Nolan commented—something he said every year. The amount of alcohol consumed just between Sam, Finn, and Lucas during the Fall Games was both impressive and terrifying. How none of them ended up in the hospital was beyond me.

Well, there was that one year… but we didn’t talk about that year.

“I’m staying,” Nolan said to Declan, lifting his chin as if readying for a fight. Oh, my sweet little smut-writing wolf. I wrapped my arms around his waist from the side and hugged him.

“You’re sane,” Declan told him with a shrug. “They’re fucking nuts, which is the last thing this conversation needs.”

“What conversation?” I asked, my heart rate picking up slightly at the ominous words.

“I know we said we’d stay out of it, but I don’t give a fuck,” he began quietly, and Nolan’s arms tightened around me. “Not after last night. Killian’s coming home, Ginny.”

“What?” My voice cracked. He wasn’t.

“He is,” Nolan reaffirmed softly. I stared up at them, my gaze flicking between the two in search of some indication that this was all a bad joke. A mean joke.

God, I’d take a mean joke over that reality.

But both were serious.

“It’s why he’s at the Fall Games this year,” Declan said. “Since we’ve taken over the pack, it makes the most sense for him to return home now.”

“Oh,” I whispered, feeling the breath vanish from my lungs. Of course, that’d bring him home. I didn’t know why that surprised me. It was his place in the pack. It only made sense for him to come home.

Home to Cedar Harbor.

Where I’d have to see him every day.

Lord help me.