Chapter 15

Nemo,” Nolan said before I ever got to the gate for the clubhouse.

Crap. This was the last place we should’ve been doing this—mostly because I wasn’t alone. After ditching everyone else, Raven dragged me out of the clubhouse for a day of shopping, café food, and so much coffee. At one point, Cade joined us with the information that bikers were too much for him.

Spending the day with them—laughing and talking—was the distraction I needed. It kept me from focusing on how I’d missed breakfast with the Byrnes because my husband was there. Or how I missed out on the plans to go hiking because my husband was there.

Lines were being drawn in the proverbial sand. It made me nauseous. It felt like my family was slipping away, replacing me with him. However, I really didn’t have a place in their family if I wasn’t with him, did I? All of it made my heart ache if I thought too long about it.

“Nemo?” Cade frowned. “Like the little fucking clown fish thing? That is the clown fish thing, right? Or was that the blue fish thing?”

“No, that was the clown fish,” Raven agreed. “But the baby clown fish. The one that touched the butt.”

“You mean boat,” I cut in.

“Butt would be more fun,” Cade replied. “We’ll be inside. I need to get ready for the scavenger hunt tonight.”

“You know where to find me if you need me,” Raven reminded me—as she had several times. I offered a reassuring smile before they left, one that vanished when they were completely out of sight.

“Nemo, as in you need to get out of here or you’re just trying to get me to talk to you?” I asked. I crossed my arms and stared up at him. His cheeks glowed a faint pink in the setting sun.

“Whichever gets you to talk to me,” Nolan admitted. “I don’t like fighting with you.”

“I don’t like being blindsided,” I told him. “Especially not by… you know.”

“Not that it matters, but I voted to tell you.”

“The five of you voted?” My voice rose an octave. “Are you serious, Nolan?”

“No one told Killian anything either,” he rushed to say. “We’ve just done a good job of pretending nothing happened for the last three years—”

“But you know what happened, Nolan,” I reminded him. “You’re the only one who knows what happened.”

“I know… but we can’t fix this for you two, so we left it for you two to figure out. We left it alone like we have for three years. Like you asked us to.”

Damn it. He had a point. I’d been adamant about them not getting involved. The only reason Nolan knew was because I’d gotten stupidly drunk and confessed everything to him. It was our secret though. One I desperately wanted to keep.

If more people knew, I’d have to face the stuff I’d been hiding for three years. I wasn’t ready for that. I didn’t know that I’d ever be.

“Do you have time before the scavenger hunt?” I asked. “Just you and me?”

“For you? I have all the time,” Nolan said. He glanced at his watch. “In this case, fifty-four minutes is all the time.”

“Okay.” I chuckled and held out a hand to him. “Coffee?”

“I saw a bakery with scones and gourmet coffee I wanted to try,” he replied. He tucked my hand through the crook of his elbow and off we went. I couldn’t stay mad at Nolan, even if I tried. And really, Nolan wasn’t the Byrne that was the problem.

The energy in the air vibrated against my skin, creating a pleasant buzz that matched the one my vodka gave me. If I had to be stuck dealing with everything tonight, I planned to do so drunk.

Especially since Killian was competing alongside Sam for the Byrnes.

Which meant more of seeing my husband.

Damn it.

Vodka made it tolerable—rather made it so I didn’t spend every second studying him. I found myself doing that a lot. I couldn’t wrap my head around how different he was. And yet, the more I stared, the more I found little things that hadn’t changed. That crooked smile of his that tilted more on the left than the right. The dimple it brought out. The way his hand slapped over his heart whenever he laughed too hard. Or how his head tipped back when he did. How he paused whenever he ran a hand through his hair to rub the back of his neck.

It was all so… Killian.

No amount of tattoos or muscles could take that away.

It was all very dangerous for me to notice. It tested the boundaries of my anger with him. I wasn’t sure I could cling to my anger if I began to connect to him again. And I needed my anger. I needed it to survive him.

The only way out of whatever mess we were in was divorce. I knew that. I wasn’t an idiot. I never dared to pursue it. I was sure he probably would. After three years something had to give. I needed to steel myself for it, or I’d end up hurt all over again.

It was Killian and Sam, Cole and Danica, and Maverick and Axel—though, Axel was so drunk I wasn’t sure how he’d make it out. Unfortunately, Roan wasn’t any better. The Ironwood boys were enjoying their vacation. Cade was also set to go out with them, even if Isla hadn’t made her appearance yet.

I stood to the side with Raven and Declan, only half listening to Declan as he tried to explain the game. Something about balls hidden in the desert? I wasn’t sure. I never really paid attention to what they were doing out there.

“All right, listen up you fucks!” Cole hollered. The way everyone shut up when he talked was impressive. “A few too many of us are drunk—”

“You’re drunk too!” Declan shouted, and I giggled. Drunk Declan was a riot.

“And that’s the fuckin’ problem!” he yelled right back with a laugh. “My crew is sober and ready to rescue our dumbasses if we need it. We’re doin’ this with just enough sunlight that maybe we ain’t goin’ to end up lost in the fuckin’ desert. And y’all are goin’ to lose anyway!”

“Fancy fucking words!” Roan said loudly.

“Ain’t no truer words ever been said,” Danica told him as she crossed her arms. “Y’all suck when it comes to the scavenger hunt. That’s just facts.”

“Now—”

“I’m here! I’m here! Holy fuck balls I’m so late but I’m here!” A very loud and very Scottish voice screamed. Literally everyone turned. Everyone. Isla Lochlan sprinted across the massive backyard. Wild ginger hair flew everywhere, and a big smile broke apart her serious expression when she saw us. Correction: when she saw Nolan. “Nolan! Hi! How are you? Good? Good! I hope it’s good. I don’t have time to figure it out.”

Between her accent and rapid speaking, I barely understood a word she said. If Nolan did was a mystery. All he did was nod.

“Quit talking and start undressing!” Cade ordered. “You’re so fucking late!”

“I know I’m late—hi, Raven!”

“You’re here!” Raven squealed. She threw her arms around Isla’s shoulders in a giant hug.

“Less dancin’ and more undressin’!” Cole ordered. “Or we’re startin’ without you.”

“Fine,” Isla shot back. “If you wanted to see me naked, all you had to do was ask.”

“That ain’t… what?” A scattering of laughter followed his flustered response.

“Oh, you made him speechless!” I exclaimed.

“Men.” Isla rolled her eyes and peeled her shirt off. She handed it off to Nolan, who surprisingly took it. “You just have to keep them on their toes. Especially the ego-afflicted ones. Just say the things they don’t expect. It’s funny to watch them flounder.”

“Nemo,” Nolan squeaked out, his eyes widening behind his glasses. Oh, my sweet smut-writing wolf. “Nemo, Nemo, Nemo.”

“Oh, I love Nemo!” Isla exclaimed. She continued to undress and loaded up an awkwardly willing Nolan’s arms with her clothes. His face grew redder with every article of clothing she lost. Thank goodness it was dark enough out that no one else seemed to notice. “Though, don’t tell anyone, but I liked the second one better.”

“Nemo,” he repeated quieter.

“But I love whales,” she kept going as if she hadn’t heard him. When she was completely naked, she stretched and sauntered away. I was fairly certain Nolan was going to pass out as his gaze fell to her bare hips. How curious. “Cade! We better kick some Byrne, Stone, and Ironwood arse here!”

I giggled into my drink. She was so Scottish. Those were the last words she said before she shifted. I let out a tiny gasp at the sight of her wolf. She was gorgeous with long fur in a glorious ginger color and mossy green eyes. Goodness, I’d seen some interesting wolf colorings, she was something else.

“Nemo,” Nolan whispered. “What do I do?”

“Well, we have to stay here to see how your brothers do,” I told him softly. “And you probably shouldn’t just leave Isla’s clothes lying around in the dust. That’d be rude.”

“But she’s going to come back for them!” he exclaimed under his breath. “Naked!”

“We’re wolves, Nolan. Being naked is what we do,” I reminded him, keeping my tone gentle. Putting my back to the proverbial dick-swinging shenanigans before the scavenger hunt started, I faced him. “What’s wrong, Nolan?”

“Nothing!”

I scrutinized him because not a single part of me believed him. I’d grown up with him. No one had ever gotten under his skin the way Isla Lochlan managed to.

“Nolan, do you like her?” I asked softly.

“What?” His brows came together with frustration. “No! I don’t like her. I don’t like anyone. You know this!”

“It’s okay—”

“Just forget it.” He tipped the pile of clothes into my arms before I could say no. Without another word, he stormed away, heading straight to the clubhouse. He didn’t stop, even with his brothers calling after him. That notion alone made my stomach turn. Whatever was going on with him had to be serious if he was willing to bail on them.

“Are we done fuckin’ around?” Cole demanded.

“It’s like you forgot what the Fall Games are really about,” Sam commented while shucking his pants off. He threw his arms out. “I’m ready! Give me all you got!”

“That’s the wrong thing to demand while you’re fucking naked.” Killian chuckled and dropped his shorts. And my gaze dropped. I couldn’t help it. I was a horrible person, but good Lord the ass on that man. It was sinful. Downright biteable. I chewed on my lower lip, biting back a groan. I should’ve felt more shame—I knew I should’ve. I just couldn’t help myself.

I’d blame it on the vodka later. That’d be a good excuse.

Before my thoughts became downright dirty, Roan smacked the ever-loving daylight out of Killian’s ass. The sound echoed along with the actual howl my husband let out. I gasped, covering my mouth to hide a laugh.

“That’s for kicking in my door, you furry fucker!” Roan exclaimed.

“You kicked in my fuckin’ door?” Cole demanded. So much for no more shenanigans.

“You left a fucking handprint!” Killian shouted.

“That’s my ass now—” The rest of that sentence was lost as Killian’s hand shot out and popped Roan in the balls. Roan dropped to his knees with a groan. Maverick keeled over, wheezing with laughter.

“Who belongs to who now, bitch?” Killian asked. Next to me, Declan was nearly in tears over the whole thing. The Byrnes were wild when they got going.

“Enough playin’ with your asses. Shit, never thought I’d be sayin’ that shit. Y’all are worse than fuckin’ toddlers,” Cole grumbled. “Shift and let’s get this competition over with. Good lord, y’all are fuckin’ children.”

“Yes, Daddy,” Roan said cheekily, and I lost it. The man was going to get himself hit again.

God, the Fall Games were a mess.