Chapter 5

Five

Isla

My heart raced, and I wondered how I would get through this interview. “Damon.” I repeated his name.

“Huh.”

Mrs. Friendly hesitated. “Should I leave you to interview her?”

Damon shook himself and then nodded to Mrs. Friendly. “Yes. I’ll come get you when we’re done.”

Mrs. Friendly hesitated before she walked out the door and shut it.

I turned to face Damon, and for a long time, neither of us spoke.

He gestured to a chair in front of him. “You can sit.”

It felt like I should say something about us or about me being back or about anything that would be important, but I couldn’t.

Even after I sat, he only stared at me. After a minute, he moved back behind his desk.

I couldn’t help but smile at him. “Police Chief. That’s really cool, Damon.”

His eyes hooded over, and he leaned forward and put his elbows on the desk, propping his face. “Thank you. And I guess I would be lying if I said I ever thought I would see you back in this town.”

The words were like a blow to the heart. I shot back to my feet, moving for the door. “This was a bad idea. I can’t do this.”

“Isla, just come back.”

I almost opened it, but what would I do? Where would I go? To the local bar where I knew my mom was probably still working? No. I turned back.

His face was blank. He gestured to the chair I had just vacated. “Sit. Let’s do the interview. If you passed the interview with Mrs. Friendly, then that’s good.”

I thought about the interview that I had done with her. It had seemed pretty straightforward, and she’d even shown me a little bit about how the whole system worked with dispatch. I would answer the calls and simultaneously be typing on the computer and notifying different departments about who needed to go where. It did feel like a job I could do. I sat, not knowing what to say.

Once again, Damon and I just studied each other.

Finally, he cleared his throat and looked at the piece of paper that Mrs. Friendly had given him. “Tell me about yourself.” He looked up and met my gaze. “This is the first question on the interview list.”

I couldn’t help but let out a light laugh. “Well, I guess I will skip the part that you know.” I swallowed and tried to think how to say all of this in a concise way. “After I left Refuge Falls, I went to Texas. I started college, but I didn’t finish.” I could feel embarrassment creep up my face as I kept talking. “I tried different jobs. I worked for a dentist office, coordinating procedures with different dentists. I’m good with coordinating things. I’m pretty sure I could do this job. Mrs. Friendly even showed me a bunch of stuff, and I think I could do it.”

“I’m sure you could do the job.”

I bit my lip as we returned to that somewhat awkward silence.

Damon looked down. “The next question is, can you handle the morning shift? Because you would be starting around six in the morning and ending around three.”

I nodded quickly. “Yes. I … don’t have anyone. The morning shift is fine.”

Damon’s eyes bored into me.

I wasn’t going to answer his silent question about Kyle. I knew he was thinking about it.

“Really? No kids to worry about? What are you going to do with your kid?”

Stunned for a brief moment, I realized he didn’t know. My mouth went dry, and I sniffed. “I don’t have kids.”

He blinked and then leaned back in his chair, looking confused. I recognized that look. In our childhood, it would indicate that he didn’t understand the game. He didn’t understand what was happening now; he just stared up at me.

I decided to put all of us out of our misery. “I’ve been divorced almost a year and a half.” My voice broke, and I looked down at my hands. “The baby was stillborn.”

“Oh my gosh.” His voice held disbelief.

When I heard the tone of his voice, something broke inside of me, and I stood. “Yes, Damon, I tried to call you, but you didn’t take my call. I tried to call you, like, five times, and you never took my calls.” I realized how bad of an idea this was. I moved to the door and flung it open. “Never mind. This isn’t going to work.”

I stormed quickly down the hallway and then toward the front door, passing several desks before I could reach the actual entrance to the police station.

Mrs. Friendly was talking to someone, and she paused when she saw me. “Are you done already?”

“I’m sorry,” I told her, frowning. “This can’t work.” I didn’t break stride as I opened the door and walked out.

Once I’d seated myself in the car, I started the engine and felt tears start to form in my eyes. I didn’t know what I’d been thinking, but I couldn’t work with Damon. I couldn’t be in this town.

I drove out of the parking lot and headed down Main Street. The tears flowed as all the bad thoughts came. What would I do? Find some job at the grocery store, maybe. Or some drive-through. Jim’s Burgers looked like it was still in business. Or Robbie’s Italian place.

I drove past the bar and thought of my mother. Was she still there? The funny thing was that we hadn’t kept in touch. She hadn’t tried to contact me. No surprises there. She hated me since I’d testified against my father.

I was passing the public park, and on a whim, I turned in that direction. The public park led to a national forest where there were paths that you could walk through straight to the falls. I hadn’t been there in eight years. For some reason, I suddenly longed to have my feet on the little beach.

When I got out, I realized that these shoes would not work. I left them in the car, wishing I had some flip-flops or a towel. I moved toward the little path and couldn’t stop myself from jogging along as it opened up to the beach on the lake. It was early afternoon. People weren’t on the beach. That was the good thing about a town in Wyoming: even in the summer, places didn’t get too crowded.

I reached the sand and relished the feel of it against my feet. I thought about how many times I’d come here with Damon. As we’d grown up, this was one of the spots we’d gone to together when we just wanted to get away. When we wanted to talk and dream. I hated the fact that I felt shame around him. I thought about his last words to me before I’d left town, and I cringed. They’d been judgmental and harsh, and I still hadn’t forgiven him. Even if I did deserve them.

I walked toward the shore and went all the way up to the water, not caring that it was freezing. I’d thought I could distance myself from the confusion and pain when I’d gotten away from my ex, but all of that seemed to have followed me. What did I think I would get in coming here? Sure, it was the place where I’d grown up, but there was no one for me to rely on.

I thought about how my dad had busted up our home a long time ago and our family had always been dysfunctional. Why had I come here? Why hadn’t I gone somewhere else? I walked through the cold water, trying to wipe away the stupid tears that always seemed to be there these days.

I was interrupted by the sound of laughter. About one hundred feet in front of me was the local pier, where a family was about to launch a boat. A couple of little kids were waiting restlessly. One brother was tormenting another and laughing. I’d never had that. I’d always wanted it. I used to think I could have it with Kyle, until things became just horrible. And then I felt like all my choices had been wrong, and they always would be.

I moved to a spot on the beach where it wasn’t crowded, and I relished the cold, damp sand in between my toes. Wyoming wasn’t known for its great weather, but I had missed it. I had missed summer days like this one. It was the end of June, only a couple of days until the Fourth of July. I thought about all the town events that people liked to set up for this time of year. I’d always looked forward to them.

I closed my eyes and thought about Damon Armstrong. Dang, he looked good in uniform. I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought, but he really did. My heart beat faster. I’d missed him. How had I gone from having him as a best friend to not even speaking to him in the last eight years?

I didn’t know. I wish I had an idea as to why.

Actually, I did know. He was a jerk. He was the one who’d said what he said. He was the one who hadn’t answered my calls. Forget him.

I ran an unsteady hand through my hair, wishing I had more job options. I barely had twenty dollars in my bank account after sending the deposit money, and I didn’t know what to do. I was so thankful that Wendy had stocked my fridge and that I could paint to get a break on rent.

Shame filled me. I still didn’t know if I would be able to pay rent. Maybe I could talk to her and work out something else. As mayor, she probably knew of some other jobs.

Maybe I could go work for my mother at the bar? No way. I would leave this town before I did that. Yet where would I go?

I rolled up my black pants and moved to a large rock that was a little way off in the water. It felt so good to be by the lake, hearing the waves lap on the shore. Pushing back the sleeves on my white shirt, I leaned back on the rock; it was long enough that I could fully lay back. I relished the sunlight on my skin. On a day like today, I could imagine that my life was different.

I closed my eyes and began praying. It was really all I had these days. “Dear Lord, I don’t know why I was directed to come back here. But I want to thank you again for Wendy Miller and her mother Willow Harrington. For the shelter and the food. I need help finding a job. You know about Damon. I just couldn’t do it today. I can’t face his judgment.”

Tears threatened, but I sucked in a long breath. I wouldn’t cry and let myself go to that dark mental place. I had to be able to work on this problem. I focused on gratitude.

“Thank you for this beautiful day,” I continued. “Thank you for this lake. Thank you for the sunshine. Please, God, help me figure out what to do next. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

I wasn’t sure when I fell asleep praying on that rock, but I was completely relaxed.