29. ~Caleb~

I felt like shit.

That damn sedative was still in my system.

Thinking the cool morning air would've helped to dispel the weariness and generally crappy feeling hadn't exactly worked out. Not even when combined with a strong coffee doused in sugar, or some chain-smoking.

I sighed with frustration as I leaned back on the patio chair and dragged on my smoke, my other hand clasped tightly around my coffee mug like a lifeline.

Footsteps sounded and I looked to see Cas coming out onto the patio.

He was dressed for work, which he'd be leaving for any moment. He was actually a lot later leaving than usual. Because of me. Well, because of him, actually. He'd made the call to put me down, then bring me back here to King Manor last night, instead of to mine and Bastian's place. And I knew why. He was basically trying to box me in, to corner me into revealing the secret he'd figured out I'd been keeping after overhearing me talking with my asshole father that day at the convention.

All that broadness and muscle rippled and strained in his sleek black tailored suit. Even his shirt and tie were the same shimmering black, his caramel waves cascading about his face and to his shoulders providing a bold contrast. As he approached the table, he glowered at me. Damn him for looking so fucking hot and edible while he did it.

"Are you done with employing such a childish and pedestrian tactic now? The silent treatment? It's beneath you, Caleb."

"Beneath me, huh? Like being forcibly sedated like that out-of-control animal, Damien? Like that was supposed to be beneath me?"

"I did what was necessary."

"Debatable," I grunted, before taking another drag of my smoke.

He pulled out a chair right beside me and settled into it.

Then he stared at me steadily and folded his arms across his chest, making it clear he wasn't going to allow me to weasel my way out of any of this now.

"Cas, I feel like crap thanks to the hangover from that sedative, so I'm barely functioning with more than a few brain cells online."

"Then talk slowly. I'm a patient man."

Dammit. "Talk? So we can get right to you benching me from Jackals ops going forward?"

"That's not on the table."

I frowned. "It's not?"

"You lost control, yes. But it was a one-off. You were amped up by whatever else is going on with you, all this secrecy. It impacted you on-mission last night. Once we resolve that, the rest with stabilize."

I stubbed my smoke out. "Fine. I hate it at Luxe."

"You're restless."

"Beyond, Cas." I shoved a hand through my hair. "And I can't keep doing this. I can't keep going on with no direction, just floundering. I need to do something, make an impact. You were right about pushing me away from King. I'd become completely dependent on you. Every part of my life was intrinsically linked to yours, and it had gotten to an unhealthy point. But pushing me out also left me adrift, because Luxe didn't fit well."

"Why didn't you come to me with this?"

"Because I needed to figure it out on my own. And I did."

He cocked an eyebrow, all interested. "How so?" he pressed.

"I found a way to make a difference in a bigger way than we do with The Jackals, a bigger commitment, something that will really help the people we liberate beyond the initial liberation from the clutches of all those sickos." I snatched my phone off the table, scrolled for a moment, then pulled up the business plan I'd created. I handed it to him and watched with bated breath as he took his time studying it—every little detail knowing him.

"A rehabilitation facility. Or, a series of them, it seems."

"In a sense, yeah. And the facilities will also function as a safe place for them to retreat to before they're ready to step back into the world."

He handed my phone back to me and he was beaming at me, his eyes shining with excitement. "This is incredible."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely. It's a fantastic idea and your business plan is also solid. I'm really happy for you, Caleb. I'm so happy you've figured out your purpose."

"Thank you."

"Wait. Why would you withhold this from me?"

"Because, Cas, I can't do it here in Rossun."

He tensed. "Why not?"

"These facilities need to be out in the countryside, away from the complications of city life. They need to be a true refuge, to offer solace as well as help and guidance."

"You've already put the money down somewhere, it's already in progress, yes? The talk of your trust fund being drained to your parents… it all makes sense."

"Yes," I admitted. "I have." I winced as I told him, "It's about three hours away from Rossun."

"So, this is you telling me that you're leaving?"

"I—"

His phone buzzed several times, then started ringing.

His gaze burned into mine, intensity flaring between us.

But his phone kept going fucking crazy.

With a grunt, he reached into the inside pocket of his suit jacket and fished it out.

He swiped it open, then cursed, his eyes darting all over the screen, taking in whatever had just come in rapid-fire, urgency bleeding from him.

He shot to his feet. "No. Not now. No."

I rose with him, adrenaline shooting through me.

"What's happened?"

There was a haunted look in his eyes as he looked out at me. "Bastian and Skylar have been exposed."

"Jesus Christ."

He took the call in the next moment and turned from me. "King. Yes, I've seen it. Mobilize Security, get a lock on Bastian's Lexus, and escort them here."

Shit.

It was happening again.

But this time it was a hell of a lot worse.

Because Skylar was involved.

And now, it had the potential to actually break Bastian.

"I can't erase this."

Bastian shook his head, not willing to believe it couldn't be done. "No, you did the same thing with that altered photo that some media whore posted of me."

"This is different, sweetheart," Cas tried to explain with as much patience as he could muster, given the intensity of the situation.

"How? With your reach and King-Tech combined—"

"It's hit everywhere, Bastian," I cut in, giving him the reality check he needed. He was clearly stuck in the denial stage and that was a problem when we needed to strategize beyond what had happened.

He looked at me as I leaned over the back of the couch watching Cas sitting on the coffee table, his hand on Bastian's knee as he sat slumped on one of the armchairs looking absolutely distraught.

"At this point it's like asking Cas to bring down the internet," I told him.

"You saw it, right? All the shit they're saying about Sky? Making her out to be my whore, some piece of trash, completely eviscerating her?"

My gut twisted as I recalled some of the headlines I'd seen and even some viral posts all over social media.

"We can manage the fallout, shift the narrative," Cas told him. "It will take time, though. Something this big… I can't alter public perception instantly."

"So, until then, what? We're just supposed to ignore it?"

"Yes," Cas said.

Bastian slammed his fists into the couch cushions either side of him, then shot to his feet. He started pacing erratically. "I mean, that single photo would've been bad enough, but a whole fucking sex tape? Fucking shit! I promised her everything would be fine. She didn't sign up for this, to be exposed in this kind of sick way, to the whole city, no less! Her life's never gonna be the same now. There will be nowhere she can go in Rossun without—"

"You manage it," Cas spoke.

Bastian stilled for a moment.

"You manage it, Bastian. Sure, we put certain protocols and precautions in place, but it's doable nonetheless. You're still able to have a life."

"It's limited, Cas. Really fucking limited. And she… Sky… she's so free. She won't be able to live like I do."

"She was getting in deeper with us, it must have occurred to her. She would've been aware of the risks."

"Fine, yeah, but there's a big difference between that and then this happening."

"It's a hell of a violation," I said.

"I don't disagree," Cas returned. "But what's done is most definitely done."

His hope that we could move toward focusing on handling the fallout, rather than focusing on the thing itself was dashed in the next moment, as Bastian asked, "How did it even happen? You had eyes on that photo Sky first showed us several weeks back. How did it get out and a whole fucking video to boot?"

"Damien was clearly working with Jett. It wasn't just the two individuals from the fight club who Luke was able to identify. Damien was his fallback when Jett discovered I was on to the other two." Cas scrubbed his hand over his face. "Damien was the missing link in all of this." He looked at Bastian. "And, you're right, I should've seen it. I should've been able to anticipate this exposure also."

"How? How, Cas?" I said, stepping up to him. "No one could've seen this coming. It was literally out of the blue and as underhanded as hell—just like both Damien and Jett's personalities combined."

"I'm not just anyone. My ability to see things others can't is one of the reasons King is so successful, that I'm at the fucking top while only in my twenties. But lately…" He sighed. "Lately, I've been spread too thin."

"What's going on?" Bastian asked.

"What isn't?" I grimaced at the distress all over Cas. It wasn't usual to see him like this. He could roll with pretty much anything and just keep going. The sight of it was even cutting into Bastian's rage and upset. Cas tugged at his long hair, and he caught my eye.

I tensed. I could see it then, his intent to tell Bastian about Elijah Bane being responsible for their parents' deaths. No. Now was absolutely not the time. Not with Bastian this worked up. Not with all of us worked up. Not with Skylar in clear distress too. So much so that she wasn't even here now with us. She'd had Bastian drop her off at her home before Caspian's people had located his Lexus and then escorted him to King Manor, having to ward off the paparazzi for a good portion of the way. They were at mine and Bastian's place right now trying to ward another load of them off in a much more peaceful and diplomatic way than Caspian's men were known for doing, because of the chances of anything more being caught on camera and impacting King in the process.

Cas caught the discreet shake of my head, then sucked in a breath and answered Bastian, "Warding off Elijah's interference with King which has only been escalating over the last few months, trying to keep the three of us from being driven apart now that we're no longer under one roof, running constant interference with the media for you, sweetheart, even before this shitshow earlier today, everything with Skylar coming into our lives, reeling in Damien, trying to counter Jett's antics, re-launching The Jackals, finding out you're using again and trying to combat that, Caleb keeping secrets and now him telling me he's leaving us… the list is endless."

I eyed Bastian. "You're using again?"

"You're leaving?"

Cas held up his hands, one to each of us. "Stop!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a step back. Fuck.

I couldn't stop staring at Bastian, though.

Had he really gone back to all of that? After what it had cost him last time? After the fight of his life to claw his way out of that shit?

He caught me looking and averted his gaze.

That was confirmation right there knowing him as well as I did.

He'd hidden it so well that it was disturbing.

He'd hidden it behind her, his affinity and obsession with Skylar. All of that had provided a reason for his odd behavior that I'd noticed of late.

This was fucking bad.

All of it was.

Every goddamn thing.

It was all falling apart.

Wewere falling apart.

"Is that why you really pushed off re-launching The Jackals for so long?" Bastian asked Cas. "You were worried it would stretch you more than you already currently were?"

"Partly."

I frowned. "And the other part?"

He took a moment and looked between us. "I didn't want to reopen the door to that darkness. The twisted and down and dirty that comes with our work as The Jackals."

"Apart from last night, I'm handling it. I even taught Skylar how to do the same."

"It's not about that," he told me. "It's about me."

"What?"

"I wanted out of the dark."

Bastian and I exchanged a look of utter confusion and a whole lot of surprise at that.

"I don't understand," I said.

"I haven't needed it for a while. It doesn't give me the thrill it used to when we all started out on this road. In fact, it's the opposite. It's eating at me, taking pieces of me with it, especially when combined with certain aspects of my more illegitimate operations with King. But for the two of you it's different. You revel in it. Especially you, Caleb."

"I can't be without it, Cas. You know that."

"I'm well aware."

Shit. "You doing this when you don't want to… it's not healthy. Just catering to us. It's becoming toxic."

My words hung there all too heavily between us.

For a long time we just stood there staring at one another as it started to sink in.

Was this… was this the beginning of the end?

Luke burst in all of a sudden, making our attention abruptly shift to him as he made a beeline for Cas.

He whispered something in his ear, then Cas nodded and looked out at me and Bastian, "I'm needed. Both of you try to get confirmation from Skylar that she's well. If that fails, I'll use other means." With that, he walked out alongside Luke.

Bastian and I both pulled out our phones in unison and sent another couple of texts to Skylar, all of which she'd ignored so far, along with our calls. For all we knew, she had her phone turned off, disconnecting from the outside world for a bit. Who could blame her?

"There's no reason to assume she's gonna pull away from us because of this incident," I told Bastian, reading the grimace on his face well as he pocketed his phone.

"You can't deny that it's a possibility, though."

"She's stronger than that."

"It's not about strength. It's about whether she's in deep enough with us at this point to believe if all this bullshit is actually worth it."

"You don't think she is?"

"I honestly don't know, brother."

"Yeah, she does play big emotions close to the vest."

He cursed under his breath, shaking with it.

I went to him and laid my hand on his shoulder. "We'll figure it all out. It's gonna be okay."

"Is it? Do you honestly believe that?"

"If you're using again, no. If it was just a slip up, that's a different story. But anything beyond that and you're gonna lose her for a whole other reason."

He jerked away from me. "And what about you leaving?"

Jesus Christ.

Today really had been the day for it.