22. ~Sebastian~

The calm was slipping away.

That peace that had enveloped me since that call with my mom and, thankfully, that had kicked in during Sky's recounting of the sick and twisted things Jett Bane had put her through.

I'd heard every word she'd said, seen her struggling to talk through it, to live through it all over again, something she'd put a hell of a lot of effort into putting behind her. And because I'd been calm, I'd been able to really listen without freaking out, without letting anger or upset lead the way. Everything she'd said explained all her reactions and resistance to being the old her—well, the real her. It also showed just how courageous she was to start to go back to herself and then to actually let any of us in.

I couldn't fuck that up.

I'd already come close after what Damien had done. The way I'd behaved at the venue and then when Caleb had come to find me just as the liquor was kicking in, but before I'd been ready and acclimated to it. And then he'd led me back into the living room and I'd seen Cas finishing up with eating her out, her satiated and in a serene state. It had pissed me off that he'd been the one to do that, to comfort her, even sexually. Not just that, the fact that he'd gained her trust to take things there with her so easily. I'd figured it had meant that my theory about him using his whole hero act to gain her trust had been confirmed.

And then, in my messed-up state, I'd been pissed that I was feeling like that, that I was feeling so many destructive and negative emotions, ones that were fucking well taking me over and blasting through all my control. And in that moment when I'd grabbed her hair, then slapped her cunt, I'd blamed her. But it wasn't her fault, it wasn't. I'd made the decision to open up because I'd wanted to. The good that had come from it, having her, being with her, it had been worth it. Of course it had. But the other side of it all… it had me struggling.

Thankfully, it had been well-established that she liked being handled roughly—hell, really fucking roughly—during sex, so she'd taken it in a good way, it had gotten her off. But, still, knowing I hadn't been in control when I'd done it—something Cas and Cal had picked up on because they knew me so well in that sort of situation—bothered the fuck out of me.

It couldn't happen again.

I couldn't allow anything close to play out that way.

So I'd made a decision then to go to what Cal and Cas would consider extreme methods, when in fact they were merely necessary with all the crazy shit going on right now, and all the crazier shit that was about to go down all too quickly.

That was what I was doing now, ensuring I took the necessary measures.

Just until I could get a handle on things, hopefully until they calmed down, or until I found a way to walk the line between the good and the bad.

"Bastian, you coming?"

Shit.

I jolted, the vial of meds almost slipping from my hand in the process, as Caleb's yell sounded right outside the bathroom door. I'd been so caught up that I hadn't even heard him approaching from down the hall.

"Be there in a second!" I called back.

It sounded like he was pressed right up against the door when he spoke again. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. I just ate too much at dinner, a little nauseated. I just needed a few minutes. It's passed now."

"You want me to get something to settle your stomach?"

"No, thanks. I'm all good now."

I could almost feel him hesitating outside the door. Or maybe getting suspicious? Had I been acting different the last little while?

Nah, I was just being paranoid. Probably just that nagging bitch of guilt fueling it too. That voice inside my head that had been so powerful keeping me from all of this. It didn't get it. It only saw the dangers, not the positive aspect of it.

"All right," he finally said. "Just hurry, Skylar's kicking my ass in Halo."

Of course she was. She was a damn good player, for one thing. And another, Caleb really wasn't. I was pretty sure he didn't even realize, because often I'd just have my fingers hovering over the controller for several minutes to give him a leg up, so I didn't totally destroy him. He wasn't really into playing. Coding sure. Coding anything. But he still made an effort to play with me, so it was the least I could do.

I would have to let Sky in on the whole deal there.

"Where's Cas?" He wasn't the best either, but that was because he rarely ever played. Only to humor me once in a while. But he was still better than Cal.

"On the phone with Luke."

"All right. Give me five and I'll back you up."

"Thanks, B."

I heard him moving away then, heading down the corridor toward the game room. Or the den as we called it.

That's right, in King Manor, there was a big-ass room entirely devoted to gaming.

Just another example of Cas going out of his way for us. Me, in this particular case.

I grimaced as I thought about my suspicions of him manipulating Sky and me, then accusing him of still planning to use her. I'd been so wrong about it. He'd only had our best interests at heart as usual. He hadn't let his rivalry and need to deal Bane a blow take precedence. And he'd also been amazing with Sky since she'd been here. Actually, since he'd pulled her out of that ring at the fight club. He'd been patient, he'd held back for her a hell of lot sexually, he'd been understanding and even sweet, he'd ensured she was taken care of in every possible way.

Guilt gripped me again as I stared at the bottle of heavy-duty pain meds that I was now clutching in a white-knuckle grip. First his flask, now this. These were meds he kept on hand in case he or Cal sustained any injuries during our Jackals exploits. I played it a lot more careful than them when we were out in the field. Part of that was me being Rein and the other was that me getting injured was a lot harder for them to stomach because I couldn't take painkillers and had to basically suffer through it. When I'd lived here before, Cas had locked all this stuff up way out of my reach. Things were different now, though.

And I was also different.

I would be fine.

This was just to take the edge off so I didn't fuck up everything.

The alcohol had clearly been a mistake. And I had been nauseous for real the morning after too. In fact, I'd spent a good ten minutes chucking my guts up right after I'd woken up. Plus, that shit made me agitated. It did subdue me somewhat, but the rest that came with it offset even that slightly positive aspect. I just hadn't thought I'd actually find these types of meds within easy reach.

I opened the cap, then popped two, swallowing them down dry.

I went to put it back beside the many other bottles inside.

What if I needed more beyond today? What about attending the convention? Two antagonistic elements in Damien and my mom would be there. Plus, all this shit with Jett was likely gonna get going really soon too.

Just until you can recalibrate all this feeling-again shit.

I pulled my wallet out of the back pocket of my jeans, then took a few from each bottle—including some tranqs in there—filling up the change pouch, then zipping it closed.

I put everything back, secured my wallet back in my jeans, then washed my hands and headed on out of the bathroom.

I made my way into the den to find Sky lounging back on one of the Barcaloungers, while destroying Caleb's character on screen, while he jumped up and down on the black leather couch freaking out and stabbing at his controller, pressing all the wrong buttons and making his character bounce on the spot instead of fighting and shooting.

"Are you trying to dance with me?" Sky laughed.

"I'm trying to defend myself!"

"Well, you're being a little bitch about it."

"Ouch!" he cried, slapping a hand to his heart. "You wound me, darling."

"Aww, you want me to come and kiss it better?"

"Hell, yeah. But actually, it hurts here," he said, slapping his hand to his dick through his gray jeans.

Sky looked away from the screen to see him now making an obscene thrusting gesture while grabbing his dick.

She burst out laughing.

As she did, losing concentration, Caleb managed to get in a hit to her character. "Ha! Distraction tactics worked!"

"That's it," she said, pushing to the edge of the chair and getting all intense and serious about it. "Prepare to meet your maker."

A hand landed on my shoulder and I turned to see Cas now there and looking at the two of them with amusement. "Good call with the gaming. It worked."

Yeah, since Sky's awful revelations earlier, she'd been quiet and withdrawn for several hours. She'd been engaging with us and talking as Cas had been on his mission to get to know her in person, beyond his wealth of research on her, but it had been very subdued on her end, not like her at all. And then she'd kept staring off into space in a deeply pensive state, likely going back to those twisted memories she'd brought to the surface earlier.

So I'd led us all in here and fired up the entertainment unit.

It had taken a half hour or so, but then she'd gotten caught up in it and her spark had come back.

"Yeah," I said. "She just needed something that connects her to her power. Something she's got a hell of an edge with and a ton of confidence about. And, you know, obviously some fun to lighten all the rest."

Sky cried out and then slammed her controller down, yelling at Cal, "Now that was a real little bitch move! So fucking underhanded!"

Caleb laughed and jumped down from the couch and thrust his hips, grabbing his cock again. "Come suck it."

With a growl, Sky launched herself at him, tackling him across the waist and knocking him back onto the couch.

The two of them were wrestling then.

Sky pinched his nipple through his shirt, then dug her nails into his side.

"Careful," he said, laughing his head off. "Pain gets me off, remember?"

Cas put his fingers in his mouth and whistled sharply.

The two of them stilled, then swung their heads our way.

"It's time," Cas told Caleb.

He sobered, then sat up with Sky now on his lap. "Yeah?" he asked, grinning.

Cas nodded.

"Time for what?" Sky asked, stroking where she'd hurt Cal.

"To find out where Onyx fits into all of this."

She eased off Caleb's lap, a mixture of anticipation and apprehension blanketing her features.

Caleb took her hand. "Come."

As Cas turned and headed out of the room, I took Sky's other hand as the two of them reached me, then we followed him down the corridor.

We made a left down the corridor, then Cas stopped outside one of the lounges and motioned us to follow him inside.

With every step we took closer, nervousness thrummed through me. Her hand was already tense in mine as it was, how was she going to be when she actually saw what we were gonna show her? There was no going back afterward either. Once she saw, she was all in. It couldn't be any other way, or it risked fucking us all over, something Cas wouldn't stand for.

But we also couldn't keep her out of it anymore.

It had been part of the plan from the start to bring her in as our fourth. It was why I'd approached her in the first place.

A lot had changed since then, though.

Especially, a lot for me.

Fuck.

As Cas headed toward the floor-length mirror in the far right corner of the room, I pulled up short. "Wait."

It had Sky and Caleb coming to a jarring stop with me pulling on them.

I could feel Cas glaring out at me.

I didn't fucking care.

I pulled Sky from Cal, then took both her hands, drawing her attention to me. "Are you sure you want to do this? What we're about to show you, it would mean bringing Onyx back, getting back to all of that. And once you know this secret, that's it, you're in, baby. With us."

"Don't you see?" she asked softly, giving my hands a squeeze.

I frowned. "See what?"

A big, beaming smile came over her face. "I'm already with you."

Well, shit.

It took me a moment to respond after her words hit deep.

"With me, yeah. I'm right there on the same page. But you're still getting there with Cal, and with Cas it's still very new. But this, knowing about what we're about to show you, there'll be no going back."

"Bastian—" Cas started.

"No," I snapped. "Tell her. Tell her you won't let her out after she knows about this."

"Precautions would need to be taken," was all he said.

"I don't want out," Sky told me. She broke my hold on her hands, then reached out and cupped my face. "I've never belonged anywhere. I've always been a loner, through and through. I just never found people who I fit with, who I could connect with, who'd see that messed-up side of me and accept it. But with you guys, you don't just accept it, you relish it. You want it, you want all of me—the good, the bad, and the twisted. We all put on a show to the outside world, but beneath it we're all outcasts who don't do well with normalcy." She kissed my cheek, then stepped back. "I finally fit somewhere. I'm not walking away from that." She looked out at all three of us. "You heard my whole sordid story and not only accepted it, but supported me and didn't judge me even for a moment. So, believe me when I tell you, there's nothing you can show me that will have me doing that to you."

Wow. That was a hell of a thing.

Stunned, I looked out to see Cal grinning ecstatically.

Cas was smiling too.

"Bastian?" Sky asked.

I nodded and managed, "Yeah. Okay, yeah."

She chuckled at my speechlessness, then slipped her hand back into mine and her other into Caleb's.

And then Cas reached around the silver frame of the mirror and flicked the hidden button.

Sky's eyes widened as the mirror slid aside to reveal a steel door protected with a secure keypad.

Cas stepped in front of it, his back to us, then punched in the code.

A sharp beep and a whirring sounded before it inched open to reveal a set of stairs that led down into a portion of the basement that was sealed off from the rest of the house.

The motion-sensor pot lights illuminated the concrete stairs and we followed Cas down.

As we reached the bottom, he turned on the lights and the place lit up.

"Oh my God," Sky breathed, pulling from me and Cal and walking further into the space.

I watched with bated breath as she looked all around in stunned silence, her eyes darting every which way as she took everything in.

The supply of gear on shelves lining the walls—weapons and tech. The command center on a raised platform in the middle forming a U-shape with all the monitors, laptops, and devices.

She looked to the left where dozens of frames hung on the walls of newspaper clippings referencing our takedowns. A little further along were corkboards of ongoing strategies and missions, some detailing criminal networks that needed to be taken piece by piece.

And then she walked over to the mannequins to the right of the command center.

A choked gasp escaped her as she ran her fingers over one of the hooded leather coats, then feeling out the Kevlar vest beneath.

But what drew her full attention next were the masks.

Gold and black masquerade masks that covered the mannequins' foreheads, all the way down to just before their mouths. She peered around one of the coats and saw what I knew she would—the embroidered red design of a silhouette of a jackal, teeth gnashing.

She spun back around to face us. "You're them," she breathed. "You're The Jackals."

Caspian just gave a nod, watching her carefully.

Tension reached fever pitch, before a smile spread over her face and she grinned out at us.

"This is fucking amazing!"

Well, then.

I was high.

All right, slightly high.

I preferred to call it peaceful.

I wished the meds had kicked in beforehand, then my whole freakout running up to coming down here could've been avoided, the fact I'd almost stood against Cas and Cal in the process too. Seeing me have a reaction to anything, especially the kind of intense emotional one I'd had upstairs earlier still freaked them out. They weren't used to it.

I just hadn't known Cas was gonna show her all this that quickly. I'd figured on him doing it later tonight, right at the end of our weekend here with her.

No matter, she'd taken well to it.

Really well to it actually.

Twenty minutes later and she was still looking all around excitedly.

Right now she was focused on the frames, the newspaper reports of our numerous takedowns. I mean, the press didn't know it was us, nobody knew who The Jackals were outside of the four of us, Luke, and that fucker, Damien. Caleb was with her, telling her the stories behind the headlines, while Caspian was leaning back against the rolling chair at the command center watching her reaction intently and smiling at how well she'd taken to it. Jeez, the guy really had the ability to call things that not many others could. He could read people so well and anticipate their reactions to a T. It had definitely served him well since he'd taken on the mantle of King. But it also meant that he could discern when something wasn't right, if people were acting out of character. He saw unpredictability as a threat too.

Every now and then I could see his gaze flitting my way as I sat on the bottom concrete step in a peaceful haze, while trying to make sure it came across as me just being deeply relieved that Sky had taken our revelation so well, and not that I was also being soothed big time by the meds in my system.

It was why I was sitting down.

When they'd kicked in, a massive head rush had taken me over. I would've likely stumbled or something if I'd been standing up and walking around with Cal and Sky, and that would've been a dead giveaway for Cas.

I pretended I didn't notice him watching and I concentrated on Sky instead.

She looked so fucking sexy even dressed down. At first I'd thought I'd liked that leather pants and vibrant-blue jacket with all the edgy embroidery on her best. But as the many weeks had worn on, it didn't matter what she wore, it was all as sexy as fuck to me. She had a pair of neon-blue lounge pants on right now that clung deliciously to her ass. A white strappy tank did amazing justice to her perky breasts, the blue lace bra beneath peeking through and the combo making them bounce with her every movement. And her hair was in one of those hot messy ponytails, swinging from side to side as she laughed and talked animatedly with Caleb. Fuck me, the urge to pin her against the wall and lick her all over, then bend her over the command center and sink into her tight cunt while I whispered dirty things in her ear was overwhelming.

Business first, though, as Cas would say.

Actually, as he would insist right now.

Revealing The Jackals to her was no small thing.

The way I was feeling right now, all peaceful and shit, it wasn't filling me with worry anymore. No apprehension whatsoever. I was able to just sink into it, to just go with it.

When they finally pulled away from the frames, Sky turned to us and exclaimed, "I can't believe it. I mean, I thought you wanted Onyx for a single job or something. Not this. I should've figured it out." She looked at me. "Your knife throwing. Knowing there was a member of The Jackals who was ace with a blade… dammit." She eyed Caleb. "And you with all the darkness, your teachings… I just put it down to it stemming from something else for you."

She didn't say it, but she was likely talking about him losing his sister.

"And you," she said, addressing Cas next. "Well, your rep speaks for itself. All that underground activity you're rumored to be involved in… that covered my suspicion there."

"You're taking this favorably," Cas said.

"Of course! Oh my God, when I lived here as a teenager, I used to follow your exploits, dark guardian angels descending on the sickos of the city… vigilante justice at its finest. You guys actually inspired my creation of Onyx! When I came back here, there was no more talk of The Jackals, though, so I thought it was over. So, what, you took a long break?"

"I knew it was true about us being her inspiration for Onyx," Cal said, giving me a shit-eating grin. "Told you."

I rolled my eyes at him. "You called it."

Caspian told her, "Damien was a member, but his actions a few months back almost exposed us. We removed him from the team and took a break so things would settle."

"Damien? That unhinged bastard? He was a member?" she asked, incredulously.

"It's a long story," Cal told her.

She looked at me and must've seen the unwillingness on my face to get into it, because she then smiled sweetly at me and focused on what Cas had brought up on the monitors at the command center while her and Caleb had been talking. "Is that your next slated takedown?" she asked, walking over there.

Cas nodded. "The target is Shakers."

"That seedy new strip club?"

"It's more than even just that," Cal told her, walking over there and gesturing at the queued up video of their surveillance system that he'd hacked. "They're doing some fucked-up shit to their strippers, forcing and abusing them. I cracked their system and got confirmation."

Sky screwed up her face. "Pieces of shit."

"Indeed," Cas said.

"Time to get back to delivering our brutal brand of justice," Cal told her.

I pushed off the step and managed to walk over steadily without drawing undue attention.

I walked up to Sky and played with her curls that had escaped her ponytail.

Damn, they felt so soft, so amazing to touch more than ever while I was like this.

That serenity enveloped me as I just stared at her for a moment, breathing her in, happy that Cas had brought in that jasmine hair stuff she used for her loose curls because it was such an intoxicating scent that I associated so strongly with her now. "Mmm," I moaned out.

"Sweets?" she asked, amusement dancing in her eyes.

I felt Cas and Cal watching me, but I didn't care in this moment while I was touching her and feeling her warmth up close.

"You ready for this?" I asked after what seemed like seconds, but might've been way longer judging by the way they were staring my way.

Thankfully my question cut through all that and had Cas asking her, "You're prepared to bring Onyx back?"

"Full-on?" Cal pressed.

A smile spread over her face and then her eyes shone with fierce conviction. "It's time."

"Hell, yeah," Caleb said, rubbing her shoulder excitedly.

Cas smiled, then turned on his chair to face the monitors. "Then let's get to work."