20. Montana

Iwanted to talk to Erik. Though we were parted, I still felt closer to him than ever, and no amount of distance seemed to change that. The mark on my palm urged me to act on the insane ideas crawling into my mind and keeping me awake. I’d sworn to walk away. I had made that vow to myself as well as him. But Julius’s phone was so close, and it would have been all too simple to indulge in this wild desire.

Checking Callie was deeply asleep beside me, I crept to the phone Julius had left on the floor, taking it in my palm. In that moment, it was more than a piece of technology, it was a direct line to Erik Belvedere. I didn’t want to do this for purely selfish reasons, but shit, I knew that was part of it. The other part…well, maybe I could talk more sense into Erik than I could to the slayers. It was a long shot, but the prophecy wasn’t going to solve itself, and if we could only work together, maybe we could all figure it out somehow.

This could be a completely pointless endeavour anyway. I had no idea if Erik had found Valentina’s phone after I’d hidden it under the bed in his home. But maybe he was close enough to hear it right now.

I moved through the museum, putting some space between me and Callie in case I woke her. And I soon found a rusted door left ajar, leading into a storage room. I slipped inside, using the light on the phone to illuminate the space, revealing shelves packed with boxes, dusty hats and small models of the statue.

I padded to the back of the room and slid down to the floor, pressing my back to the wall. With my heart crashing against my chest, I found my way to Valentina’s number on the phone.

My throat was thick as I pressed dial and lifted the cellphone to my ear.

A ringing noise resounded in my ears, over and over until I was certain he wasn’t going to answer. My heart sank as disappointment rose in my chest.

Well, that was that.

I held the phone in front of me, moving to press the button that would cut the call.

“Hello?” Erik’s voice sounded through the device.

I stilled, my mouth opening but no words came out. Perhaps it was only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity before I could make any noise at all. “Hi,” I breathed, lifting the phone back to my ear.

“Rebel?” Erik hissed. “Tell me it’s you.”

“It is,” I sighed, shutting my eyes as I drank in his rumbling tone, letting it seep through every inch of my body. It shouldn’t have felt this good to hear his voice, but it did, it fucking did.

“Are you safe?” he demanded.

“Yes, I’m fine,” I said. “Well, not exactly fine.”

“What’s wrong? Do you need help? I’ll come for you-”

“No,” I cut him off, my pulse skyrocketing. “I just…miss you.”

The admission made my cheeks flush hot and I instantly regretted those words passing my lips. They were wrong. I should never have felt that way, but knowing I wouldn’t see him again was a burden that weighed on me every second we were apart. It was the right thing to do, but it didn’t make it any easier. And expressing that to Callie, the one person I could once tell every secret of my heart to, was all but impossible.

Silence fell on the end of the line, but finally, Erik answered.

“I miss you too,” he sighed heavily, and I could feel the strength of this affliction hanging between us. This desire for each other that could never be fulfilled. “Fuck...you have no idea.”

I clutched the phone tighter, feeling like it was the only thing present in the world right now.

“I told my sister about us,” I revealed, and Erik released a dark laugh.

“I’m sure that went well.”

“As well as you might expect. Although...I think she’s trying to understand. Even Julius-”

“Don’t,” he growled as if the slayer’s name pained him to hear. “Don’t talk about him. Just the thought of you with him, with those slayers, it antagonises me to no end. Just tell me - did you make it out of the city? Are you somewhere away from harm?”

“Um...” I bit into my lower lip, unsure how much I should say. I hadn’t really considered the fact that Erik might ask about our whereabouts.

“Forget I asked,” he muttered.

“I’m safe,” I said.

“Promise me, rebel.”

“I promise.”

He released a low noise in his throat. “I hate this.”

“I hate it, too. But it was the right thing to do.”

“I know why you left, Montana. I’d have been a fool to think you would stay.”

My heart cleaved apart and a tear rolled smoothly down my cheek as I thumbed the wedding band on my finger.

“I’m still yours,” I whispered, that truth slipping free of me before I could stop it.

Silence tracked between us and all I could hear was my thrashing pulse.

“You’re killing me,” he groaned. “Put the camera on, let me see you.”

Heat blazed a path through my skin. “I don’t know how.”

“Press the camera symbol at the bottom and hold the phone in front of you.”

I angled the phone toward me and pressed the button he’d described. My face stared back at me on the screen, lit up in blue by the light of the phone. A beat later, it shrank to a small box and Erik filled the screen instead. My throat closed up as I absorbed the sight of him. He was sat up in bed, bare-chested with his hair tousled, his storm grey eyes glittering hungrily as he gazed at me.

“There you are.” He grinned darkly and my stomach coiled into a knot.

Even though he was miles away, the video made him seem so terrifyingly close that my body reacted the way it always did around him. Remembering to breathe became a chore, and my rational thoughts became harder to hold onto.

“I thought you might be busy tonight. With Wolfe,” I said.

“You know about that?”

“We watched the ceremony,” I revealed, and his eyes grew a little darker.

“I didn’t want to release him, you know that. But I gave him hell before we did. But we’re hoping he might be of use now to catch Valentina.”

I nodded, releasing a breath. I knew that was important, but my expression gave away my disappointment. I wanted Wolfe dead for what he’d done.

“He suffered well, rebel,” Erik vowed, his eyes sparking with the violence he had delivered my enemy.

“Suffering isn’t death,” I said.

“It is worse,” he said, his brows drawing low. “I assure you of that.”

I nodded slowly, seeing his point, but Wolfe was still free now. That was more than my father had been gifted in life.

“We ran into Valentina,” I said cautiously. “She tried to take Magnar. I don’t know why, but she was determined.”

“Shit,” Erik growled. “There were reported sightings of her, but we didn’t get there in time. Did she hurt you?”

“She tried to, but I’m fine. She wanted me dead, of course. But that’s not exactly the surprise of the year. She said that you and her were together once and that you were going to marry her.” I ignored the rising heat in my body as I stared at his expression, trying to assess his reaction to my knowledge of that.

Erik’s face contorted. “I never promised any such thing.”

“But you were together?” I asked.

His brow creased with lines. “I wouldn’t put it that way. She was just a distraction.”

I nodded, not liking the picture of them together in my mind, but Valentina was beautiful. She was a vampire, too. Unbreakable, immortal. A good match for him before she went full psycho, I supposed.

“I never had feelings for her, rebel. It was just sex.”

“Okay whatever,” I said, wrinkling my nose. “I don’t want the details.”

A slow smile took over his face. “You know I don’t want anyone but you. I’ve never wanted anything like I want you. You’re the first woman to ever claim my heart.” He rested a hand on his chest. “It’s un-beating, and likely as black as tar, but it is yours, rebel.”

A breath got stuck in my chest as I nodded, accepting what he was saying even if it defied all logic.

“We weren’t made to love each other,” I exhaled.

He inclined his head, misery touching his eyes, and it hurt me to see this immovable creature looking so broken. Was it really because of me?

“The gods divided us,” he said. “It’s up to us to bridge that divide.”

“It’s too late for that, don’t you think?”

“Perhaps,” he muttered.

“So what will you do about Valentina?” I asked.

He bared his fangs at her name. “We’re tracking Wolfe. He should lead us to her any day now.”

My thoughts took a sharp turn toward the slayers and their father. “Erik...I know you don’t want to talk about this, but I feel like such a hypocrite right now. I wished for revenge on Wolfe more than anything for what he did to my dad. But that’s how Magnar and Julius feel about you.”

His face became grave, twisted with discomfort.

“You think I’m like Wolfe,” he stated.

“No,” I said, my chest too tight. “Or at least, I want to hope you’re not. Maybe you did something terrible once, but maybe you regret it?”

Erik scored a hand over his face. “That day is still burned into my mind so vividly, it is sometimes clearer than yesterday.”

“Tell me about it,” I urged, desperate to hear his side of the story.

“After I was turned, I knew I needed to do something to appease Andvari. I longed to pay his debt and was desperate not to be the bloodthirsty beast he’d made me into. So I barricaded myself in a cave. I didn’t drink blood for two hundred years. I thought if I starved myself, it might break the curse.”

My heart clenched at his words as I thought of the pain he must have put himself through.

He went on, “Then one day, Fabian came for me; he took me to a battle between us and the slayers. Andvari filled me with his power. I was so strong. And so fucking hungry. I couldn’t feel anything but the thirst. I was an animal. A fox in a chicken coop.” He gave me a tense look as if he was concerned about continuing, of what I might think of him beyond this point.

I waited, giving him an encouraging look.

“I lost every part of myself that day,” he muttered. “And when the hunger withdrew and my humanity returned, I saw what I’d done. I found myself before the final slayer left alive on the battlefield. He was dying...weak. The man was the Eliosons’ father. Andvari whispered the prophecy in my ear. Warrior born and monster made...I thought he was telling me that turning a slayer into one of us was the answer. That I could break the curse that way.” He glanced away as if he didn’t want to meet my gaze. “I was wrong, rebel. Tricked. But not without blame.”

My breathing quickened as I absorbed his words. “The slayers think you did it to kill their clan by sending him back to them. They think it’s even worse that he was turned. That it would have been better if he died a warrior’s death.”

Erik’s brow furrowed. “I suppose I can see why they would think that. But it wasn’t my intention. I know Magnar killed his father when he returned home, disgusted by what had happened to him. The slayers cannot see us as human. And there are times that we’re not. Creating this empire was a way to counter that. We thought that if we could set up a society with laws which would prevent humans from dying at our hands, then we might regain some sense of morality. But even that has gone to hell... Every single standard I thought I was upholding was a fucking lie.” He glowered and I reached out to brush my fingers across the screen, wishing I could be there beside him to soothe his pain.

It wasn’t okay what he’d done, but at least he knew that. At least he was trying to be better. I could see the regret in him like a dark shadow looming over his soul. Wasn’t that worth something?

“I forgive you,” I said quietly. “Even if you can’t forgive yourself. You are good, Erik. Even if you’ve done bad things. We’ve all done bad things...”

“What have you ever done that’s so wrong?” A flicker of light returned to his eyes and I breathed a laugh.

“Hm...I once wished this kid I grew up with would be taken to the blood bank. He was always bullying me, shoving me in the mud.” I shook my head. “I didn’t say it out loud. But I thought it. How messed up is that?”

“What a dark soul you have,” Erik taunted. “You have no idea of the terrible things I’ve wished upon some people. It’s what we act on that counts. Which is why I am damned for all eternity and your soul is clean.”

“Don’t say that,” I said sharply. “You’re making up for things now, aren’t you?”

“Well, I hear Fabian is erecting statues of your sister in the Realms, would you like me to do the same? I’ll make sure they’re twice the size. That might make up for some of my bullshit.” His mouth twisted into a smile and laughter burst from my chest. “Rebel,” He sighed heavily. “I won’t deny you Wolfe’s death again. When I find Valentina, I’ll be sure he gets caught up in the massacre that I’m going to bring down on her and her followers.”

Relief spilled through me. “Thank you.”

He gave me an intense look. “Please tell me where you are, I promise I’ll leave your friends alone if it means I can spend tonight with you.” Erik’s eyes moved to my lips, that single look sparking flames at the base of my spine. I remembered how he had once had me beneath him, his tongue dragging across my clit, how hungrily he had devoured me.

“It didn’t work out so well the last time we tried to do that,” I remarked.

“Second time’s the charm,” he said, all hellion as his gaze raked over me, peeling me apart with his eyes.

“We have the small issue of sitting on opposing sides of an age-old war,” I said, trying to keep my tone light as we slipped toward discussing the cruel reality of our situation. The most important reason I’d called him.

“How about we try to rewrite our version of Romeo and Juliet so we don’t end up dead?” Erik suggested.

I laughed softly, knowing the story from my dad’s best attempt at recounting it. “I think this is the version where they go their separate ways.”

“That sounds like a rather boring version, rebel. Don’t pursue a career as a writer.”

“Well how would you like it to go?”

“Firstly you end my torment by coming to my bed tonight. Then tomorrow we can take a boat and sail for anywhere that isn’t here.”

“And leave everyone we love behind to deal with this mess?” I scoffed.

“They’ll figure it out.” He smirked, then his expression fell a little as he considered something. “Unfortunately, things are not so simple.”

“I’m well aware of that.”

“Look, I think you need to talk to the slayers. Convince them to let you and your sister come to us. We know you’re a part of the prophecy. We can figure out the rest together and break the curse. Surely the slayers would be satisfied with that? Are they so determined to murder us all even with that fact staring them in the face?”

I sighed, dropping my eyes. “Callie couldn’t bear to be near Fabian again. And even if I could convince the others, it’s personal when it comes to you, Erik. I don’t think they’d let us go without a fight.”

His eyes darkened, purest deadly intension filling his gaze. “You’re right.”

My pulse thumped in my ears as I grew fearful of what he was thinking. “But a fight would be a terrible idea.”

“I disagree. I’d fight for you with more strength than I’d ever fought them with before.”

“Erik, don’t even joke about that,” I hissed. “You’re not fighting them. You don’t even know where we are.”

“True,” he said, but I sensed he wasn’t about to drop the issue.

Oh shit, what have I done?

“Montana,” Julius’s voice hit me like a gut punch. I nearly dropped the phone as he pushed through the door across the room, just a dark silhouette as he stormed toward me. “Hang the fuck up,” he commanded.

I didn’t, so he snatched the phone and glared right at Erik. “Stay the hell away from her, bloodsucker.” He ended the call and fury crashed through me.

I sprang to my feet, shoving him as hard as I could. “You asshole, you had no right!” I reached for the phone, but he tucked it swiftly in his back pocket and batted my flailing arms aside, his strength too much for me to counter.

“Magnar’s right, Montana. You need to forget about him. And don’t ever call him again.”

“Fuck you.” I stormed from the room, my blood curdling in my veins. He had no right to tell me how to feel. To treat me like a naughty kid. Who the hell he think he was?

I strode back to the fire where Callie was sleeping and dropped down onto the floor, seething as I felt Julius following me.

“Erik is going to fall one way or another,” he whispered, laying a hand on my back.

I flinched away from him, turning to glare up at his face where he stood over me.

“Then maybe I’ll fall with him,” I snarled.

Julius backed up, his eyebrows drawn tightly together. “You don’t mean that,” he hissed.

I laid down and rolled over, ending this conversation as I muttered, “If you ever hurt him, I’ll never forgive you.”