20 • We Get Dangerously Fancy

F ancy Water had as much foot traffic as I would have expected from a perfume shop called Fancy Water meaning none.

Grover and I watched the place from across the street. Nobody went in. Nobody went out. No one looked at us funny. No polecats farted in our general direction.

The facade was more low-key than Aeaeas. Instead of big picture windows, the main entrance was all frosted glass. I couldnt see inside and had no idea what might be waiting to kill us and/or spritz us with fragrance.

I could, however, sense a water spirit close by. It wasnt something I normally would have noticed. Like, I dont walk down the street and see little glowing blue dots pop up like Im playing a Pokmon game. But once Ive been told to be on the lookout for water spirits, I can put myself in that frame of mind. When I get close enough, I can pick up their presence, like Ive walked into a microclimate where the air pressure is a little different.

A naiads in there, I said. You sense Gale at all?

Grover frowned. I dont have weasel radar.

Polecat.

Oh, stop.

I smiled. It felt good to get back to our normal banter, even if we were on a dangerous cologne-related stakeout.

I knew we should march right into the shop. The day was a-wasting, and a mustelids life might be at stake. But still I hesitated. Maybe almost getting vaporized had made me wary. Or maybe I was learning to be careful as I got older. Nah, that probably wasnt it.

Ive been thinking about Gales past, I said. She was a mortal witch, right? Apparently really good at making potions.

Grover nodded. So maybe she came down here looking for a place to hide out. Filomena figured out who she was. If Filomena offered her a job makingwhatever Miracle is, Gale could be raking in the polecat bucks.

I considered that. If Gale feels appreciated, she might not want to leave. And if there are three more potion-throwing naiads involved

Grover shivered. This could get ugly. You sure we dont want to buy some rain ponchos?

I wished I knew more about Greek witchcraft. I usually tried to deal with such things by stabbing the magic-maker as quickly as possible and/or running away. When it came to how fast a witch could zap, what they could zap you with, and how to prevent such zappage, I was in the dark.

I dont think waterproof clothes are going to be enough, I decided. Its a store, right? Whoevers in there, they wont necessarily know who we are. Lets pretend to be customers.

Except Filomena recognized you.

I frowned. Right. And I have no idea where we met. Do you?

Grover shook his head. It seemed like she knew you , not me. I could go in alone.

No way. I tried to think. It wasnt easy without Annabeth to do ninety percent of it for me. Lets just bluff it out. We go in looking for a gift. If a naiad recognizes me, Ill improvise.

Grover scratched his horns. Let me take the lead. Not to criticize your improv talents, but

Fine, I said. We can do this.

I said this not because I believed it, but because 1) I wanted it to be true, and 2) I was impatient and needed to do something, even if that something was dangerous.

We strolled across the street.

Grover pushed open the door, which made a chirpy electronic welcome beep. Inside, the Great Wall of Smell smacked me in the faceso much patchouli, ginger, and pumpkin that my eyes watered. Through the haze, I could make out a few glass display counters, two salon chairs, and behind the register in back, a lady reading a magazine. She looked a lot like Filomena, except her dark hair was longer. She wore a cosmetics lab coat over a pink dress and had tortoiseshell sunglasses covering her eyes, maybe because the smells in this place were so bright they hurt.

Welcome, she said, without looking up from her magazine. She sounded glum, like she was used to losing sales. Let me know if I can help you with anything.

Thanks, Grover said.

I scanned the shop. There were no polecats on duty. No raw chicken carcasses or bags of weasel wafers. The place was spare and kind of depressing, but the sales lady was definitely a naiad. I could feel the water energy rolling off her like a river current. So far, she didnt seem to sense me. I wanted to keep it that way.

Grover strode up to the counter, smiling. Im looking for a gift. For my girlfriend. Shes a juniper bush?

The lady did a double take. I was across the room, pretending to browse, but out the corner of my eye I could see her reassessing Grover, realizing he was a satyr, and then switching into Greek-myth mode, like Okay, youre magical, Im magical, lets make a deal.

I see. She gave him a cautious smile. A juniper dryad! Whats the occasion? Is it her bloom day?

No, just an early Saturnalia present, Grover said. If I dont do my holiday shopping ahead of time, I get overwhelmed.

Oh, I understand! Very thoughtful. Have you been in the shop before? I dont remember you.

No, but Ive heard great things. Grover Underwood, Cloven Elder.

He put out his hand. After a moment of shock, she shook it.

A Cloven Elder. Her smile warmed to just above tepid. Its an honor.

And your name isFancy? he guessed. Ive heard you make the best water.

She pursed her lips like she was trying to stay polite and not yell at the VIP. My hand crept toward Riptide in case things went south, but Grover seemed to be selling his act as a harmless knucklehead, which was usually my role.

Actually, its Silbe, said the naiad.

Sylvie.

No, Sil- BEE , with a b .

Of course, Grover said. That is much fancier. So, what would you recommend for my Juniper?

Well, lets see. Silbe scanned the display cases. Juniper pairs well with citrussay grapefruit or orange?

Citrus makes me sneeze, said Grover.

A lot of things made Grover sneeze. It seemed to me he didnt need to share that information. I was afraid hed forgotten why we were here and wed actually end up leaving with a Saturnalia gift.

Right, said Silbe. Sneezing on her wouldnt be very romantic! Her eyes drifted to the case where I was standing and trying to eavesdrop without being too obvious. Silbes eyes caught mine. Her expression frosted over with suspicion.

You look familiar, she said. Im sure weve met.

Hmm? I mumbled. Mm. Hmm

Eloquence is one of my superpowers.

Oh, he tags along with me a lot, Grover said. Hes no one important.

Ouch, I thought. But his tone seemed to do the trick. Silbe returned her attention to the display cases. Well, perhaps another wood scent, like cypress.

That sounds nice, Grover agreed. Though Ive heard theres something new on the market. Something very exclusive. Im pretty sure a friend of mine bought a bottle here recently. Something called Miracle?

Silbe recoiled. We dont sell that here. Cheap imitation magic. You must be confusing me with my sister Filomena. If youre in the market for shoddy goods like that, you can find her shop just down the

Oh, my mistake! Grover said quickly. Sorry, sorry. My friend told me to avoid Miracle. I remember now. They said you had something much better.

Silbe wavered. I could tell she was battling several different feelings: resentment, suspicion, but also the need to show off and make a sale.

Miracle is a love-potion hoax, she grumbled. I would never waste my time on such an inferior recipe. My newest product is much more exclusive. We only have a few vials left.

She walked over to my display case, nearly backing me into the wall. Grover gave me a panicked look, then trotted after her.

From the lowest shelf, Silbe pulled a small blue box. The lid was embossed in gold: SPELLBOUND .

Ooh, Grover said. Fancy.

Indeed, said Silbe. An ancient recipe from one of the finest alchemists ever to mix potions. Rediscoveredwell, just this week, in fact. Its a Fancy Water exclusive.

How did you rediscover the recipe? I asked.

I knew immediately that Id made a mistake by speaking. Silbes eyes narrowed.

Thats not important, she said.

The air between us started to shimmer, water droplets collecting into a fine mist. Before we could start a miniature rainstorm, Grover intervened. I love this! How much?

Silbe smiled. For a Cloven Elder, Im sure we can arrange the friends-and-forest discount. Only a thousand golden drachmas.

Grover gulped. What a deal. He sounded like hed been sucking helium. Can you gift wrap it?

Of course, said Silbe. But first, you should really try the scent, to make sure your girlfriend will like it.

She opened the box and produced a glowing blue vial with a spritz top. She aimed it at Grover, who stepped back instinctively. Um

Oh, youre right, Silbe apologized. You wouldnt have the right chemistry profile for Spellbound. Your friend here is a better test subject.

Before I could say Blues not my color , she spritzed me right in the face.

I admit itshe outplayed me. The stuff got in my nostrils, my eyes, my mouth. It tasted exactly like I imagined Gales weasel treats tasting, which wasnt good.

Look, lady, I said. Then my mouth stopped working. My arms turned to sandbags. My legs crumpled. I crashed sideways onto the floor, completely paralyzed.

Perfect. Silbe knelt over me as Grover scrambled back, terrified.

I remember you now, Percy Jackson, she said. Your friend is right. Youre no one . Or at least, youre about to be!