Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Emery

T he drive home was excruciating, the only sounds were the soft Christmas music playing on the radio—some cheerful song about peace on earth that felt ironic at the moment.

I wanted to say something to break the suffocating silence, but what could I say? ‘Sorry I helped blow up your friendship’? ‘Hey, remember when this evening was about having a good time’? ‘Anyone up for a foursome to clear the air’?

Okay, maybe not that last one.

After we finally pulled into the garage, we filed into the house like a funeral procession. The Christmas tree lights were still on in the living room, casting everything in a soft, multicolored glow that did nothing to warm the chill between us.

I stood awkwardly in my heels in the middle of the living room, caught between fight or flight, while the three men positioned themselves around me like points on some emotionally charged Christmas tree topper. Max drifted toward the kitchen, Ronan planted himself near his favorite armchair, and Levi hovered by the Christmas tree, absently fiddling with an ornament. The physical distance between us all felt symbolic somehow, like we were acting out some bizarre relationship geometry problem that definitely hadn’t been covered in math class.

“Well…” Levi finally broke the silence, loosening his tie with fingers that seemed unsure whether to yank the whole thing off or fidget with it. “That was...”

“A disaster?” Max’s voice had an edge I hadn’t heard from him before, something between disappointment and resignation that made me want to sink right through the floor.

“Predictable.” Ronan ran a hand through his hair. He looked at each of us, his gaze landing on me last. “We need to figure out what the hell we’re doing here.”

And there it was. The question we’d all been dancing around, the elephant in the room dressed in a Santa hat and jingle bells. I shifted my weight from one aching foot to the other, wondering if I should sit down or if that would somehow make this whole situation even more awkward.

I kicked off my heels because if we were going to have this conversation, I refused to do it while my toes staged a rebellion. “This thing between us... it’s incredible and terrifying and probably illegal in at least thirty states. But more than that, it’s complicated. You three have this amazing friendship and successful business, and I’m basically a human wrecking ball in sparkly earrings crashing into all of it.”

“Emery-” Levi started, but I held up a hand.

“No, let me finish. Reality is messier than fantasy. I mean, what happened tonight? That’s going to keep happening. Society isn’t exactly set up for polyamorous Christmas cards.”

Ronan’s jaw tightened. “I couldn’t care less what society thinks is acceptable.”

“Says the man who nearly had an aneurysm when I suggested casual Fridays at work,” I shot back, but couldn’t help smiling a little.

“That’s different,” he protested. “Professional standards are-”

“Not the point.” Max moved into the living room, removing the distance he’d created by standing in the kitchen. “This isn’t about work or what other people think.”

Levi nodded, abandoning his ornament fidgeting to step closer. “It’s not like we’re planning to make out in the mall food court or announce our relationship status on LinkedIn.”

“But if we wanted to do those things… then what? If we’re out shopping, and I feel the urge to kiss one of you, I don’t want to have to ask permission or worry about being accused of enjoying leaving the other two out.” I looked at Ronan who cringed.

“I’m sorry I overreacted.” Ronan shrugged out of his suit jacket and threw it on the chair. “We’ve had our share of conflicts, and we always figure things out. But this is different than fighting over pineapple pizza or paper suppliers.”

“This is real complicated feelings that could blow up in all our faces like it did tonight. And I really, really don’t want to be the reason you three stop being friends.” I wrapped my arms around myself wishing it was one of them.

Levi stepped closer to me. “We all know how we feel about you.”

“And we’re not exactly strangers to complicated situations.” Max moved to stand near Levi. “Though I admit, this one’s a first.”

“Tomorrow we can sit down and layout some ground rules and expectations.” Ronan’s stern expression suddenly changed to one of glee. “We can have a weekly meeting and take turns preparing-”

Levi and Max both groaned loudly but started to laugh. I couldn’t help but cover my mouth to stifle a giggle.

“So, what are you saying?” I looked between them. “Are we really doing this? A real relationship?”

Ronan was the first to move, closing the distance between us with deliberate steps. “I think we passed ‘doing this’ somewhere between pinecone hunting and gingerbread houses. The question is whether we’re brave enough to do it right.”

“I’m all in. Have been since you walked into our lives and started singing Christmas carols.” Levi cupped my cheek.

Max completed our circle. “Me too. Even if it means dealing with more awkward family dinners and hiding our relationship when we need to.”

Ronan took my hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss my knuckles. “We need to be honest with each other. No more pretending or holding back when something bothers us.”

“Tonight we should have talked about how to handle my mother before we went.” Levi took my other hand and threaded his fingers through mine.

“Communication.” I nodded, trying to ignore how my skin tingled where they touched me. “Speaking of that… before we get carried away, we should probably talk about my living situation. I have enough to get a place now.”

“Like hell you are. You’re not going anywhere.” Ronan squeezed my hand.

“What Ronan means is that we want you here. You’ve made this place feel like a real home for the first time since we moved in.” Max glanced at the Christmas decorations surrounding us. “Though I think you figured that out when we let you turn our living room into Santa’s workshop.”

“But won’t it be weird? Living together while we figure this out?” I did like the idea of living with them, especially if I still had a space of my own to escape to.

“Sweetheart, we crossed weird somewhere around the time you started dating three of your bosses.” Levi kissed my forehead.

“We can renovate the guest area, make it yours. Or...” Ronan exchanged glances with the others. “We could figure out other arrangements.”

“I’d like that… my own space. Because let’s be honest, living with three men will mean I need to sometimes lock myself away and scream into my own pillows that don’t smell like gross men.” I suppressed a grin.

“Hey, we don’t smell bad.” Max lifted his arm to smell his armpit, and I couldn’t hide my smile any longer.

“So, it’s settled then. I’m staying.” I hadn’t let myself hope for it, but now that it was happening, I was more excited than a kid on Christmas morning after Santa came.

Ronan’s answer was to cup my face in his hands. “Welcome home.” He pressed his lips to mine in a kiss that felt like a promise.

When he pulled back, Levi’s hand slid around my waist, and he pressed a kiss below my ear. “You can decorate for all the holidays.”

Max’s fingers traced up my arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “This is where you belong.” He captured my lips in a kiss that made my knees weak.

There was no more holding back, no more pretending this wasn’t exactly what we all wanted.

Ronan’s fingers tangled in my hair as Levi’s mouth traced patterns on my neck. Max’s hands slid down my sides, holding me steady as I melted between them.

“Beautiful,” Ronan murmured against my lips, while Levi hummed in agreement against my skin.

“Our Christmas Spirit,” Max added, making me laugh even as tears pricked at my eyes.

We stood there, trading gentle kisses and touches, no one rushing or pushing for more. This moment wasn’t about passion or desire—though I knew there was plenty of both—but about connection. About four people choosing each other, choosing to be brave enough to try something different, something real.

“I can think of nothing else I want for Christmas other than being home with my three… um…” I paused, not sure what to call them.

“Boyfriends.” Ronan gently kissed my temple. “We’re your boyfriends.”

I pulled them all closer, letting myself sink into their warmth and the certainty I felt deep in my bones. Wrapped up in them was exactly where I belonged.